A Walk To Remember
by Sad-Blue-Eyed-Angel 2010
Summary: Alan lives with his mom, stepdad and half sister on the mainland. Life seems to be good until tragedy strikes, now Alan is faced with a choice. But is it a choice he wants to make? Was a oneshot but is now planned as a multichapter. flames not welcome. Rated T for Underage drinking - AU & WIP
1. Blood is Thicker Than Water

"I have to do what?" Alan's eye twitched as he heard his punishment for yet another failed test.

"You and your peers that seem adept at getting into trouble will be under the tutelage of Mr. Gregory." Mr. Harvey replied as calm as could be. "Maybe you will learn to make good use of your time and study the material when you are told to. I know you can do it, I've seen your entrance exams…you are an exceptional student. I just wish you'd apply yourself."

"But Mr. Gregory?! He's the school's drama instructor!" Alan's eyes were wide with disbelief. "How could he possibly help?"

"He can help by providing you all with a script and making you all study it. It's either you take part in the production he has in mind or you will be expelled…our school doesn't want students to waste their time and ours by not putting their all into the material provided for them." Mr. Harvey replied a wry smile on his face. "You will report to Mr. Gregory's class near the back of the auditorium and find out what he wants you all to study."

"Please don't tell me you've told this to my mother…" Alan's face was lit up with a blush that put the reddest of red to shame.

"No, I was going to wait and see how the punishment did before I informed your mother of it. Your mother told me to handle everything the way I saw fit and I do want to keep you in our system…but you need to learn discipline." Mr. Harvey replied softly. "Now, get going. Mr. Gregory is gathering the troupe to discuss the material he has in store for you all."

"Fine…" Alan stood up and left the room. He was dreading having to see and interact with his stepfather. He tried to stay as far away as was humanly possible from the man that had married his mother when he was twelve. It's not that he despised the man, he actually really liked him…it's just they were like chalk and cheese when seen together in public. Mr. Gregory had coal black hair and deep brown eyes that showed every emotion the man felt. While Alan was blonde like his mother with startling blue eyes that made people think he could see into your soul…his father's blue eyes.

Alan had never gotten over his parent's divorce. They'd divorced when he was eight and he'd been part of an ongoing custody battle, but that had been settled when Alan answered the door to his father's abode to see a social worker waiting to meet with his father. However, Alan who was ten at the time had been left in the care of one of his older brothers and they'd gone out with friends rather than babysit him. The social worker immediately took him when neither his father nor any of his older brothers answered their cell phones.

Walking towards the auditorium, Alan couldn't help but to think back to an earlier discussion he'd had with his mother. She'd told him that if he didn't get his act together that he'd be sent to a reform school. His mother had told him this with tears in her eyes and it just about killed Alan to see his mother cry. Who was he to cause such grief for his mother? He loved her more than life itself.

"Ah, Alan…I didn't know you were a part of this group." Alan lifted his gaze from the floor to meet the soft brown eyes of his stepfather…Mr. Brandon Gregory. "I thought you'd studied your little heart out for that test."

"Yeah, well…test results don't lie. I failed miserably." Alan reached into his backpack and dug out the failed history test and handed it to his stepfather for review. "You aren't going to tell mom about this are you Brandon?"

Brandon looked up from reviewing the test in his hand to shake his head. He knew that Alan feared hurting his mother. "No…but she will eventually find out when this production is put on for the school. She knows I've been planning this as a form of punishment for students that need to learn discipline."

Alan looked down at the floor with a grimace.

"Not to say that you don't know enough discipline to get by on. You just need to put your nose to the proverbial grindstone and study harder." Brandon placed a firm hand on Alan's shoulder, making the boy look up. "Now, what do you say we get this show on the road and try to beat your mom and sister home from daycare?"

Alan didn't say much, he'd just nodded and walked with his stepfather into the auditorium. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to spend more time with his stepfather, the guy could be pretty cool when it suited him.

… … … … … … …

Alan climbed from the interior of the vehicle and shut the door, stuffing the notebook into his backpack before his mom saw it. His stepfather promised he wouldn't say anything to his mother until the last possible minute, Alan appreciated the kind gesture.

"Allie! Daddy!" The front door flew open and a little blonde girl with her hair pulled up in twin pigtails came barreling outside, heading straight for the older blonde boy.

"Mae!" Alan crouched down and held his arms open for the tiny four year old. He was nearly knocked flat on his butt by the little girl. Picking her up, Alan gave her an eskimo kiss. "Want to tell big brother how your day went?"

"Yeah! I got to color with finger paint!" Mae swung her legs and Alan couldn't help but to smile widely at his baby sister. She may have been his half-sister, but he still took his big brother duties seriously. "Come on, I wanna show you what me and mommy did!"

Mae wiggled and squirmed to be put down and Alan submitted to her request, grasping her tiny hand in his as he allowed himself to be led into the house by the little girl that had a personality about the size of the entire universe. She was like her big brother in that sense.

Alan was led into the living room where a child sized easel was set up. A giant pad of paper was held onto the easel by a large clamp and the painting contained a large caricature of the family. There was a tall man with black hair holding the hand of a blonde woman and beside the blonde woman was a blonde boy and beside him was a tiny blonde girl. The family was smiling widely.

"You like it?" Alan looked down at Mae and he'd knelt down to kiss her cheek.

"I love it. You are such a good artist, just like mommy." The sixteen year old boy pat the little girl on the back as her smile grew to be the size of Venus.

"Thanks!" Mae hugged her brother tightly around the neck before kissing his cheek like he'd kissed hers. "Can you help me hang it up?"

"Sure…I don't see why not." Alan stood up and gently pulled the large piece of paper off of the pad and gripped Mae's hand in his. "Show me where you want to hang it."

"Your room!" Mae jumped happily as she loudly proclaimed where she wanted the picture hung up. "Please?"

Alan couldn't help but to chuckle as he'd begun to walk. "Sure, let's go get some tape and then we'll go find a place on my wall to hang your pretty picture."

"Oh…Alan. You're home late." Alan looked up to meet the inquiring gaze of his mother, Lucille Gregory. At one time she'd been Lucille Tracy, but sadly that marriage had failed with the rise of the Tracy empire.

"Hi mom. Yeah, I know I'm late." Alan scrambled for an excuse to feed his mom, but he came up short. Thankfully his stepfather entered.

"I told him I'd give him a ride home if he felt like sticking around the school a while longer." Brandon winked at Alan as he came up with a smooth fib.

"Would you like me to pick you up tomorrow? It's forecast to rain." Lucille stepped forward and brushed a long stray hair from Alan's forehead.

"Nah, I was thinking of meeting up with Chaz tomorrow to hang out for a while." Alan replied, forgoing a glance in his mother's direction.

"How is Chaz?" Lucille had grown fond of Alan's close friend. The boy had practically lived with them.

"He's doing okay. Jenny broke it off with him over the weekend, so he's been down in the dumps pretty much all week. The guys and I were thinking of getting together to practice a couple of our songs this weekend." Alan shrugged his shoulders. It wasn't a lie; Alan's friends had been planning a small party at Jared's house. Jared's parents were going out of town for two weeks for their anniversary and had left Jared alone. His parents said as long as it was okay with his friends parent's then Jared could have some friends stay over for the two weeks to keep him company. Alan had been invited and this was his moment to bring it up to his mother.

What Alan wasn't mentioning was that he and the guys were going to be the entertainment for the party. There would be girls, music and booze. Alan knew they shouldn't be drinking while underage, but that's primarily what he and the guys would do when they spent the weekends together. Jared in particular lived in the mother-in law's house in the back of the property…his older brother supplied him with the alcohol, and it was pretty sweet.

"Oh…well. I suppose that'd be okay. Chaz needs a little one on one time with you and the boys to get over Jenny." Lucille tilted her head in thought. "Just be sure to get all your homework done before the weekend and you can go. I don't want to hear a word about any missed or late assignments because you forgot to finish them. Am I understood?"

"Yes ma'am." Alan replied firmly. Brandon had told Alan that if he had any questions about his homework that Alan was more than welcome to come to him.

"Good…carry on." Lucille stepped back in the kitchen, hugging her husband warmly. Alan mock gagged at the display of affection, but he'd done it in good humor. He liked Brandon, much more than he thought he would. To be honest, Alan was happy to see his mom happy. He knew she hadn't been happy near the end of her marriage to his father and he could understand to a point. He himself wasn't happy with his father, or his brothers.

None of them seemed interested in him, despite him being blood related to them. His dad would send a birthday card with a fifty dollar bill every year, but that didn't scream…'you are my son and I love you more than the air I breathe.' That just screamed, 'oh joy, child support payments and a young son that I don't care to meet.'

"Well, come on Mae…time to show me where in my room you want this hung up." Alan tugged on Mae's tiny fingers and led her up the stairs, allowing the little girl to hang from his bicep as he carried her up the stairs.

As Alan and Mae reached the landing of the stairs, Alan glanced down to meet the happy brown eyes of his little sister. The little girl was seriously the spitting image of her mother, from the skinny lithe form and blonde hair to the chocolate brown almost doe like eyes. Embarrassingly enough, a lot of people thought that Alan was Mae's father despite his age, primarily because they favored each other so much. However whenever anyone complimented Alan on his adorable little girl, the small child would proudly proclaim that she was his baby sister.

"Allie?" Mae latched onto Alan's lower leg.

"Yeah, princess?" Alan continued trying to walk even with his baby sister latched onto his leg.

"Why don't you call daddy…dad, but you call mommy…mom?" Alan glanced down at the big curious brown eyes that gazed up at him.

"Because your daddy isn't my dad; he's my step-dad. Mommy is my mom though." Alan said as he opened the door to his bedroom. "I have a different dad than you do."

"Oh…" Mae replied, in a somewhat confused tone of voice. "Why?"

"What…why do I have a different dad?" Alan strolled over to his desk and set the picture on it before bending down and detaching his baby sister from his leg.

"Yeah…" Mae wrapped her arms around Alan's neck when he crouched down to her eye level.

"Well, many years ago…our mommy was married to my daddy. She had our big brothers and me." Alan tried to inform his baby sister in the simplest way possible. "My daddy quit getting along with our mommy and they divorced, then a few years later our mommy met your daddy and they got married. Then they had you. Do you understand?"

"A little…so how come your daddy don't come to see you? Don't he love you like my daddy loves me?" Mae inquired, her brown eyes appearing sad.

"Of course my daddy loves me…we just don't get along." Alan hugged Mae comfortingly. He didn't feel comfortable remaining on the topic they'd strayed onto, so he'd changed it. "Now…where do you want to hang this pretty picture?"

Mae looked around the room before a smile lit up her face. "There!"

Alan glanced over his shoulder to see the spot above his bed. There were several other pictures that Mae had colored or painted hanging above his bed on the tack board. Venturing over, Alan rearranged the pictures to make room for Mae's newest painting. Sitting on his knees, Alan tacked the painting to the tack board before he leaned away.

"So, what do you think Mae?" Alan turned to look over his shoulder, but he saw Mae's attention lingering on something else. It was a picture frame of the family before the divorce, before their mother's remarriage and before Mae's birth. "Mae, honey?"

Mae turned around to look at her big brother and Alan's frown only grew at the sight of Mae's sad face.

"Is this your daddy?" Alan walked over to kneel beside Mae, wrapping an arm around her tiny little frame.

"Yeah…that's my daddy and that is our mommy and these are our big brothers. There's Scott, John, Virgil, Gordon and me." Alan pointed at each of the faces in the picture.

"Alan! Mae! Dinner's ready!" Alan and Mae turned to look towards the door at their mother's call.

"Coming!" Alan hollered back. Alan looked down at Mae before picking her up and slinging her over his shoulder. "Hang on tight and I'll carry you down the stairs."

"Okay!" Mae held onto Alan's shoulders as her big brother stood up.

… … … … … … …

Alan dropped down onto the couch in Jared's house, he'd been here for the last three days. He clutched a can of beer in his fist as he watched Chaz and Jared duke it out in a round of living room wrestling. Jared had instigated the playful fight and currently both boys looked like a couple of rabid dogs in the middle of a dog fight.

"Easy fellas! No need to kill each other, there's plenty of booze to go around!" One of Alan's friends replied with a chuckle. "Jared! Take it easy on Chaz!"

Chaz and Jared both filled with liquid courage continued to roll around on the ground, scrambling to hold each other or pin the other down to the ground. Chaz released a loud growl before flipping Jared over and straddling him to keep him pinned to the ground.

"I win!" Chaz cried victoriously.

"You cheated!" Jared tried to sit up, but couldn't because of Chaz sitting on him. "Get off me you big oaf!"

"You're just mad that I won." Chaz stood up and accepted the beer from a mutual friend that had joined the group. "What'd you think Alan?"

"Hey, don't bring me into it! I'm just a spectator!" Alan jeered before knocking back a huge drink of the beverage. "So, is this all we're doing or are we gonna get this party started?"

"I'll call the girls and see if any of them want to come hang with us." Sean one of the boys in Alan's group of friends replied. "This is going to be freaking awesome!"

Alan's smile fell as he felt his phone vibrating in his pocket. It was spring break and he'd done his homework like his mom asked him to. Removing his phone from his pocket, Alan stepped outside the room to take the call.

"Hello? Mom…what's up?" Alan inquired, whilst plugging the ear that he wasn't using to talk on the phone. "Can you speak up a little, Jared and Sean are wrestling and I can't hear you."

Alan listened to the message being relayed by his mother over the phone. Mae had a dance recital in the next town over and she'd forgotten to ask Alan if he'd come like he'd promised he'd do ages ago. Alan bit his lip and took a deep breath as the minor irritation welled up inside him. This was supposed to be his weekend, but now he had to leave Jared's to go attend a dance recital that Mae was to be a part of.

"Yeah, I'll walk back home and we can leave when I get there…okay?" Alan inquired as he prepared to hang up.

 _"Yeah, you'll be able to shower if you need to…we don't have to be there until seven so that will give you time to walk home, grab a shower and then we can go."_ His mother said. Alan rolled his eyes as he hung up with his mother.

"Hey guys, sorry…but my mom just blindsided me." Alan approached the room where his friends were gathered. "Mae forgot to ask me if I'd come to her dance recital and my mom wants me to make an appearance, so I've got to go."

"Okay, well…you are more than welcome to come back after the recital is over." Jared called from his spot in the room.

"Give Mae a hug from me!" Chaz got a goofy grin on his face. He'd adored Mae, seeing as how he'd known her since she was born. Hell, he'd even helped Alan with babysitting duty. Mae was like a little sister to him as well.

"Will do!" Alan grabbed his backpack and shrugged it on, before leaving out the front door of Jared's parent's house.

… … … … … … …

Alan sat in the backseat beside Mae who was safely secured into her booster seat. He was flipping through a picture book and animatedly reading to the four year old.

"So how big a roll does Mae have?" Alan inquired as he looked up to the front seat. Brandon drove while Lucy sat passenger.

"She's one of the ladybugs. Her costume is so cute!" Lucy gushed over the costume that Mae had to wear for her dance recital.

""Well if I know Mae, she will be the best lady bug on that stage tonight." Alan reached over and grasped Mae's hand in his before smiling reassuringly at the little girl.

… … … … … … …

The phone rang, waking Scott out of a sound sleep. Rolling over, he tried to ignore the fact that his cell phone was vibrating across his nightstand, but it continued to ring. Reaching out a hand, he picked it up.

"Ullo?" Scott rubbed a hand across his face as he rolled over to lie on his back. "This is Scott Tracy…"

His voice was weighted down with sleep, but his eyes shot open at what was being told to him over the phone. Sitting up, Scott turned on his lamp, illuminating the room.

"What happened?"

… … … … … … …

Opening his eye, Alan released a groan. His head was pounding ferociously. Blinking slowly, Alan tried to place what happened. Hearing a couple snores, Alan turned his head to see his dad and four older brothers in various stages of sleep, scattered around the room. Taking notice of the room, Alan realized that it seemed unfamiliar. He tried to sit up but he'd groaned in pain from the movement. His groan seemed to awaken everyone in the room.

"Alan!" A cacophony of voices melded together as his mind struggled to process the excitement in the room.

Alan remained quiet as his confusion took over. He realized that he could only see out of one eye and that scared him. Raising a hand, Alan lightly trailed his finger over the material that covered his face.

"Don't touch that Alan…it won't heal if you mess with it." Virgil chided lightly.

"What happened?" Alan looked around the room trying to read his family's emotions and expressions. "Please tell me."

"Well…um…you were in a car accident Alan." Jeff explained softly.

"Where's Mae?" Alan looked around in search of his baby sister. "Is she alright?"

"She's going to be okay with time Sprout, don't you worry." Scott strode forward and perched on Alan's bed. He opened his mouth to speak again, but Alan beat him to it.

"What about mom and Brandon…are they okay?" Alan felt his heart clench tightly in his chest. Scott remained quiet as if weighing the pros and cons of telling him. "They died didn't they?"

Alan's voice was choked up with emotion, but the tears refused to fall.

"I want to see Mae…" Alan looked up at his dad and brothers with a pleading look. "Please, I want to know that she's alright…she must be so scared."

"Calm down Alan…she's okay…just some bumps and bruises." John replied softly, trying to calm Alan down.

"What's going to happen to us now?" Alan looked around at his dad and brothers, his uncovered blue eye shining with tears and unspoken questions.

"Well…considering that your mother was given sole custody of you, since she's…gone, I will be given sole custody…but I first have to file with the state for rights to re-obtain custody of you." Jeff stated.

"What about Mae? Brandon had no other family, what's going to happen to her?" Alan tried to sit up, but found it caused too much pain.

"According to mom's will that she wrote out with Brandon…if anything were to happen to either of them…I was to be given custody seeing as she is of blood relation to me and I am the oldest of her children." Scott stated carefully. "I too have to file with the state to gain custody of her."

Alan got quiet as he absorbed the news. "How long?"

"How long…what?" John inquired softly.

"How long have I been out?" Alan looked at his family a deep frown marring his features.

"Four days." Jeff stated slowly, trying not to scare Alan.

"Four days?!" Alan's head snapped over to look at his dad.

"Yeah…" Gordon sat on his little brother's hospital bed. "Scott received a phone call in regards to the accident about two in the morning. We got here as soon as we could."

"What happened?" Alan gave Gordon an imploring look, which looked all the more heartbreaking seeing as Alan really only had sight in one eye currently.

"The car was rear-ended, and it went sailing into traffic at a red light. Rescuers almost lost you at the scene. Because of the bleeding." Virgil murmured, being quiet whilst filling his baby brother in on the circumstances that led up to the accident.

Tears welled into Alan's eyes as the weight of everything hit him. Gazing down at his hands, he surveyed the damage he'd endured. He had bandages wrapped around his hands and his leg was in a cast, that and that he was wearing a neck brace.

"Alan…it'll be okay." John gently hugged Alan, allowing the younger blonde to bury his head into his shoulder to hide his tears. "You and Mae are coming home with us as soon as you're released from the hospital. Dad and Scott will go take care of the paperwork to get custody and Virgil, Gordy and I will return back to Mom and Brandon's house to pack your belongings as well as Mae's so everything is ready to go."

"I want to stay here…please! I want to finish school here, my friends are here…and…I have something I have to do for Mom and Brandon." Alan trailed off, not wanting to reveal what it was that he had to do exactly.

"Alan, we have to return home to the island. We can't stay away indefinitely." Jeff replied softly.

"Then I want to be emancipated and given custody of Mae, she needs to stay with me…she doesn't know any of you." Alan's un-bandaged eye narrowed in anger.

"Alan, think about what you're saying…you're really going to raise a three year old who just lost her mom and dad? What about you? Are you going to drop out of school so you can get a job and support the both of you?" Virgil enquired, trying to knock some sense into his little brother.

"She's four and no, I'd go to school…make mom and Brandon proud, I'll figure something out work wise…maybe see about working from home. I can do that." Alan worked his jaw. "Can I be left alone…please?"

Scott, Jeff and everyone else could see that Alan was fighting tears and why he was requesting to be left alone. Scott motioned with his head for everyone to head to the hall and he pulled the curtain around Alan's bed. Bringing up the rear, Scott stepped into the hall – but not before he heard his brother release a heart wrenching sob.

"You guys, I don't feel comfortable taking Alan from here so soon after the accident. And I'd rather he not be emancipated and left with Mae…he's too young. He can't handle that kind of responsibility yet." Scott murmured quietly to his family.

"So what do you want to do? We can't leave work offline while we wait for Alan to graduate." Jeff said quietly, though not wanting to seem coldhearted.

"I'll stay…I mean, you guys don't absolutely have to have me there and I can bring Alan and Mae to the island on the weekends and during summer break, we'll come stay the summer and head back at the start of Alan's junior year." Scott reasoned with his father.

"So what are you going to go live in mom and Brandon's house for the next sixteen years until Mae graduates too?" John gestured at the room where Alan was.

"No, I'll bring her back to the island and we can home school her when she comes of age to begin kindergarten. That won't happen until she's six and right now she's four. Alan will have graduated by that time and there won't be anything saying that Mae can't come back with me since I'm going to be her guardian." Scott again suggested. "I really don't want to just uproot Alan and Mae…this place is all they've known for a home – Mae especially. She was born here, lived four years here with her mom, dad and brother."

Jeff sighed at Scott's reasoning…his eldest could be a big softie when he felt like it and it looks like the death of his mother and step father – leaving his little brother and sister essentially orphaned made Scott embrace his inner mama bear and he'd stop at nothing to bend over backwards for his youngest brother and baby sister.

"Fine…when Alan has been given sufficient time to compose himself, we'll let him know of our decision to allow him and Mae to continue living at their home with you there as their guardian.

… … … … … … …

Alan was curled into a ball, crying his eyes out over the death of his mother and step-father. This wasn't what he'd wanted to happen. He was happy living with his mom and stepfather. God was cruel if there was a God of course. Why would he have made his mother's happy marriage to his birth father go down the drain for the sake of a business and make Alan be taken away during a custody battle? Why would God have made Alan and his father not see eye to eye most days – again thanks to the custody battle. And last but not least, why would God have taken Alan's mom and stepfather when he was happy and content living with them both and his little sister. They hadn't done anything wrong, so why were they being punished?

* * *

 ** _A/N: So this was a story I started two years ago and this is all I had written for it. I'm not big on Tracy Sister stories personally, but tried my hand at it - as you can see it didn't get very far. I used the title from the movie A Walk To Remember and used the mentions of a drama production being part of it, but could never advance farther than that._**

 ** _Let me know what you think, but this will most likely remain a oneshot. Flames and rude comments not commented and will be deleted. Constructive criticism only if kind words can't be used._**

 ** _Sad-Blue-Eyed-Angel 2010_**


	2. Playing With Angels Now

A week later found Alan accepting help with dressing into the somber suit and tie in order to attend his mom and step-dad's funerals. He hung his head dejectedly as Scott helped him with a sleeve, keeping his head downturned, Alan sighed. Scott seemed to notice Alan's mood and his actions before he crouched down in front of Alan to meet his eye.

"It's going to be okay Alan. We're going to get through this." Scott murmured as he met Alan's tearful eye. He sighed out an 'aw' when Alan blinked and a lone tear fell from his eye. Reaching up, Scott brushed the fallen tear away. He knew Alan was hurting, Mae was too – but there wasn't much Scott could do for either youth. He'd sat up all hours of the night discussing plans with his dad and going over paperwork in order to file for custody. Scott's thoughts turned back to the custodial forms for Alan, Jeff had been facing a lot of backlash from the state after having lost custody of Alan due to notes in Alan's file stating that Jeff had been negligent of Alan's care, now the duty of custody was on Scott for both Mae and Alan.

"What's going to happen to us?" Alan whispered, his voice incredibly shaky and tearful. "I don't want to be separated from Mae."

"You won't. I won't let it happen." Scott replied with conviction. He knew he stood a better chance now of obtaining custody of Alan as well as Mae with him submitting the paperwork admitting that he'd remain in town to let Alan finish school before he'd return to his home and raise Mae. "Come on, we need to go get your tie from downstairs."

Scott helped Alan up, handing his brother the crutch he was using to get around. He glanced down at Alan's casted leg and wondered if not for the thousandth time what was going to happen to Alan and Mae while in his care. He was no spring chicken, but he knew raising two children, one ten years his junior wasn't going to be easy. He was becoming a father to his own siblings – two of which would be pretty dependent on him to provide for them. Alan and Mae would need food, warmth, clothing, and in general love. Scott knew his abilities were going to be tried to their breaking point – but he wasn't going to allow this to bowl him over. Sure it hurt to say good bye to his mom and though he didn't know much less care for his stepdad – he knew it'd be painful too.

"Take it easy Sprout." Scott said gently as he helped guide Alan down the stairs. He looked up just as he heard a sniffle. Gordon was holding a tearful Mae on his hip. The little girl seriously was the spitting image of their mom and it hurt to see her initially. "Hey Gordon, Mae."

Mae didn't reply, merely holding her arms out for Alan to take her. Her hair was a mess and quite obvious that Gordon didn't know the first thing about doing girl's hair. Alan though he wasn't supposed to, reached out and took Mae from his immediate older brother. Scott scolded Alan about taking Mae, having been told by Alan's doctor that Alan had a weight restriction of twelve pounds. Mae weighed more than twelve pounds, but Alan shrugged it off.

"She doesn't know any of you. Of course she's going to be scared." Alan snarled before shuffling over to the couch and plopping down with Mae in his lap. He held his hand out to Gordon to get the comb from his brother. When he obtained the object he desired, he patted Mae's leg – silently conveying to her to stand between his knees. Physically turning her so her back was to him, Alan removed the ponytail holders from her hair and held them between his lips. He focused solely on fixing Mae's hair, ignoring his brothers gaping maws. Combing the gnarls from Mae's hair, Alan used the tail of the comb to separate the golden strands.

Scott and Gordon watched as Alan combed Mae's hair into a pair of pigtails before he began braiding the golden locks. They stood by in amazement as Alan showed he was better by far at doing a girl's hair as opposed to any of his brothers. Once Mae's hair had been combed into two neat braided pigtails, Alan fastened the two braids. He turned Mae so she faced him and kissed her cheeks before he tickled her ribs to try to make her smile despite the need to attend their parent's funerals.

"Thanks Allie." Mae said before she kissed Alan's cheek in return before throwing herself into Alan's arms. "Where's mommy?"

The question tore Alan's heart out and the boy fought tears as he tried to figure out the best answer. Mae was just a baby, she didn't understand what death was. All she knew was that her mommy and daddy were gone and never coming home. Gathering what little courage he had, Alan began trying to explain to her where mommy was.

"Well, princess…mommy is with daddy. They're playing with the angels in Heaven." Alan said, simply putting it so that Mae can try to understand.

"Can we go see them? I want to play with them too." Mae asked, not fully understanding where her mommy and daddy went.

"Oh Mae, no. We can't go see mommy and daddy. Heaven is closed to us until we're older." Alan said knowing that it was beginning to dawn on Mae that she'd seriously never see her mommy and daddy ever again. Not in this lifetime anyway.

"But why? I want to see mommy and daddy!" Mae whimpered.

"Because, we're not ready yet. We have to be just a bit older before we get to go see mommy and daddy and play with them and the angels in Heaven." Alan said, trying to make Mae understand why they couldn't go to Heaven. "It doesn't seem like it but someday we're going to get to see mommy and daddy again."

Mae's bottom lip trembled while her eyes filled with tears. Giving a huge sniffle, Mae began to cry. "But I want to see them now…Allie, I want my mommy and daddy."

Alan tried valiantly to stave off his own tears before he too began to cry. He scooped Mae up and tried to shush her when she cried. "I know you want them back, I want mommy and daddy back too."

As Alan comforted Mae, Scott and Gordon stepped out of the living room and let the two be alone in their grief. It hurt to hear Alan express wanting Brandon back, but they didn't blame him. While their dad was working on his empire, Alan was becoming more and more distant – physically and emotionally. Scott knew that he and his brothers weren't exempt of the distance. In their bid to grow up, they forgot the simplicities of being children, forgoing being the superheroes their baby brother viewed them as and desiring to distance themselves from him. They knew they'd need to do everything possible in order to earn Alan's forgiveness.

… … … … … … …

Alan stood in front of the twin coffins that contained his mom and stepdad. He exhaled a shaking breath as he struggled not to break down and sob his heart out. He held Mae in front of him, a firm hand on her shoulder to keep her grounded. He was aware of half the student body gathered in memory of their beloved drama teacher – but they didn't know him like Alan knew him. Brandon wasn't just his stepdad, but he was his dad when his own dad was too busy with work to care about having a child that needed his own dad. And Alan regretted never being able to tell Brandon now how much he'd meant to him.

Alan was sure Brandon knew how much Alan loved him, but Alan never told Brandon…not like Mae did every night or if there was a lapse in conversation. Alan felt really odd saying 'I love you' despite their relationship as stepdad and stepson. Many were gathered for Lucy also, she was the daycare worker for many of their children and the daycare had to call in someone to take over the care of their children with Lucy's demise.

When the pastor began saying the last rites, Alan and Mae who each held two flowers stepped forward to lay the flowers on their parent's caskets. Mae began crying, not understanding why she was here and her mommy and daddy weren't.

"Allie, aren't mommy and daddy going to wake up?" Mae asked, confused about the concept of death and no longer being able to see her mom and dad on a day to day basis. Alan's face crumpled as the tears fell. Alan felt a hand on his shoulder and glanced back to see Chaz trying to offer a hand in comfort. He appreciated the comfort, but he knew nothing would make him feel better. His mom was dead and so was his stepdad…two of the people that mattered most to Alan aside from Mae. Sure his birth father was still alive and so were his brothers, but they'd been more interested in other things. Things that didn't involve Alan.

"Allie, why aren't mommy and daddy here?" Mae asked Alan, breaking his heart more and more.

"Because they can't baby. They're gone." Alan murmured as he held Mae close to him.

When the dirt began going in on top of the caskets, Alan failed holding in his tears and he tried to stifle his cries. He was trying to be strong for Mae, but he just couldn't. It hurt too much to say goodbye to his mom and his stepdad. He reached back with his free hand and squeezed Chaz's hand in thanks for his support. His best friend had come to see him when he'd been in the hospital and he'd even gone to keep Mae company while Alan was talking with his dad and brothers about the details of the custody hearing.

Alan and Mae stayed in front of the graves even after everyone departed. Chaz picked up and held Mae when she complained of being sleepy, but otherwise they stayed. Painstakingly slow, Alan lowered down onto his knees to sit in front of the graves.

"Hey Chaz, can I have a few minutes alone…please?" Alan asked softly, his voice breaking with emotion. His eye was welling with tears and Alan didn't want to lose face more than he already had in front of his best friend.

"Sure bud. I'll just be over by the entrance to the cemetery." Chaz said in reply before he walked away, keeping a firm hold on Mae and letting Alan have a few minutes to himself.

Once alone, Alan reached forward with a small flower he'd kept in his breast pocket. He laid the singular flower on the grave where his mom was buried. Pulling back, Alan looked at his mom and stepdad's grave before he began to speak. "I promise to look after Mae, I'll make sure for you Brandon…dad that Mae doesn't date until she's thirty like you always said and I'll stay in school just like you both always wanted me to. I'll make sure both Mae and I continue our education, to fulfill our dreams that you've always hoped we would. I know I kept talking about joining the army when I graduated high school, but I can't do that to Mae…not right now."

Scott walked up slowly, not realizing that Alan had requested to be alone with his mom and stepdad's graves. He heard Alan talking and he halted.

"I'll wait until Mae's in grade school before enlisting. Scott's got custody of Mae, so I know she'll be taken care of. I want to make something of myself and I can't do that when I'm sitting here with no way to make an income. I know I'm too young right now, but one day I can make you both proud." Alan dug into his suit pocket and retrieved a guitar pick before laying it on Brandon's grave. "I'm keeping my promise to you Brandon…dad…and I'm going to continue. The show must go on as you always liked to say and just because you're gone, doesn't mean I'm going to avoid it. You gave me an important part and I intend to do my best to live up to it like you always believed I could."

Alan blinked at let the tears fall from his un-bandaged eye, but he didn't bother hiding his cries anymore. He didn't know anyone was around and he didn't want to conceal anymore. Raising his hands, he covered his face before letting the cries fall from his mouth. His shoulders shook with the force of his cries and he began bawling as his thoughts flew.

' _I'll never get to hug mom again, I'll never be able to laugh with Brandon again, and we'll never get to have another of our Friday night movie marathons again. I'll never be able to hug Brandon, I'll never get to hear him singing stupid love songs to my mom again. I'll never get to listen to him do those stupid voices when he and mom read bedtime stories to Mae, ever again!'_

As the thoughts bombarded his mind, Alan's sobs became more desperate. Scott could no longer stand by as he heard his baby brother hurting. He walked forward and pulled Alan to him. Alan wrapped an arm around Scott's waist, clinging to the strong body that was offering comfort. The sobs shook both Scott and Alan the younger let out his remorse and heartbreak.

"Ssh, it's going to be okay Alan. Ssh." Scott whispered. He didn't know what else he could do to help Alan. He didn't know Brandon, didn't even go to his mom and Brandon's wedding. He was invited but he felt betrayed that his mom had decided that her marriage to his own dad was such a loss because his dad was driven to provide a comfortable lifestyle for his family. Sure he was sad to lose his mom, but then he held a hidden grudge against his mom for leaving him and his brothers. Sure it was petty, but it didn't feel that way when his mom had asked for a divorce after one too many nights of a missed dinner, texts that his dad would stay late at the office.

… … … … … … …

Later that day, when the family returned to Brandon and Lucy's home – Alan wandered through the house with Mae by his side. He hobbled past the picture wall and he gazed at the pictures, so many happy memories of their little family. There was a picture of Brandon giving Alan a piggy back ride before Alan grew too big to be carried – it was when his mom and Brandon had only just begun dating.

Just off from the center of it all was a picture of Brandon and Lucy at their wedding. Alan was chosen by Brandon to be Brandon's best man and the picture of Brandon kissing Alan's mom was decided on to be framed. It showed Brandon, kissing Lucy at the very moment they'd been given permission by the pastor for Brandon to kiss his bride and Alan was beaming with a faint but very noticeable blush on his face as he watched his mom and stepdad kissing. Then there was a picture of Alan and his mom, when his mom was pregnant with Mae. She was glowing in the picture and Alan had a small but very protective hand on his mom's belly.

There on the wall was a picture of Lucy holding a newly born Mae, her cheeks were ruddy and her eyes were tearful – but she smiled proudly at the daughter she now held. Then there was a picture of Brandon holding his first born child as well as a picture of Alan holding his baby sister. There were pictures of Alan, Lucy, Brandon and Mae scattered all over the house. All of them harsh reminders to the two children of what they no longer had.

Alan led Mae up to her room, before he helped her undress from her somber dress and put on her pajamas. She'd still complained of being sleepy on the drive home. Once he'd tucked her into bed, Alan stood to leave. Mae looked up at Alan, a sad look on her face before she requested the one thing their mother always did for her.

"Sing me a song?" Mae asked as her brown eyes welled with tears. "I want my mommy and my daddy."

Sinking down onto Mae's bed, Alan placed a hand on her tiny leg. He reached out with a gentle hand and brushed her fallen tears away before he began singing. It wasn't the usual song their mom sang to Mae, but it was the one song that Alan could think of. He sang softly, not wanting anyone of his family to hear him singing to his baby sister. He gently stroked Mae's cheek while he sang. She graced him with a soft smile before she closed her eyes. Alan continued singing to her until the song was over then he leaned forward and kissed her cheek. Grabbing his crutch, Alan stood and hobbled from Mae's room.

Once he'd closed Mae's bedroom door, Alan made his way to his own room. He desired being alone and he could only get that if he was in his own room. It was his sanctuary. His mom and Brandon knew when Alan's bedroom door was closed that meant he wanted privacy. Didn't matter if it was privacy to do his homework, talk on the phone, play video games, watch movies or more personal matters…his bedroom was where he could have his own space. Mae had her own room, Brandon and his mom had their room, they had a few guest rooms and Alan had his room. Everyone could have their own space.

He stopped at the top of the stairs while on his way to his own room to hear his dad and older brothers downstairs discussing things. Alan heard the doorbell ring and he prepared to go down to answer the door, before he heard his dad ask Scott to do it. He stepped back from the landing so he wouldn't be seen and watched as Scott strode to the door before he opened the door.

"Hello?" Scott inquired as he looked out at the older woman that stood on the stoop.

"Hello, is Alan or Mae around?" The woman asked. She was a classy sort of lady, her hair pulled back in a bun and her blouse loose fitting but tasteful.

"Mae's taking a nap and Alan's tucking her in." Scott said before he spied the tray of sandwiches on the plate the woman held. He gave her a questioning look which prompted her to speak up.

"I'm the neighbor from across the street. I kept an eye on Alan and Mae on occasions when asked. Primarily when they were younger." The woman said before offering her hand to Scott. "I'm Mrs. Perkins."

"Nice to meet you Mrs. Perkins, I'm Lucy's oldest son Scott." He greeted the woman with a sad smile as he mentioned his mom.

Mrs. Perkins handed the plate of sandwiches to Scott before she gave him a hug in sympathy for his loss. "It'll get easier, one day. Be sure to give Alan and Mae a hug for me. Those two are such sweethearts, it hurts my soul that they lost their parents."

Scott didn't bother to correct Mrs. Perkins on Brandon being Alan's parent. He knew there was a truth to that. Brandon had according to Lucy's will adopted Alan as his own, especially since their dad had lost custody of Alan. Returning a sad smile back to Mrs. Perkins, Scott pulled away when the older woman said her goodbyes. After closing the door, Scott wandered to the kitchen to put the sandwiches in the refrigerator.

Alan lingered near the landing before he continued on his way to his bedroom. Once he was inside, he locked the door before making his way to his bed. Looking at the picture of him and his mom that stood beside the last family picture with his dad and brothers before the divorce, Alan found it hard to get a decent breath. His chest tightened and Alan took a couple shallow breaths before he dropped his crutch and collapsed on his bed in tears. Burying his face in the puffy pillows, Alan sobbed his heartbreak. He wished he'd died too, he doubted he'd ever get over the passing of two of the only family Alan acknowledged as his.

… … … … … … …

' _Alan sat in his bedroom, arms wrapped around his tiny knees as he listened to his mom and dad arguing downstairs. He'd been kept home from school by his mom because of a low grade fever he'd gotten overnight. His dad had forgotten that he and Lucy were supposed to have a date and he'd stayed late at the office the night prior. Lucy had left Scott in charge to babysit the younger kids, he was eighteen at the time. Having waited over an hour for her husband who'd never show, Lucy finally got fed up and returned home._

 _After dismissing Scott from his babysitting duties and keeping Alan home from school the following day, Lucy finally got her chance to talk to her husband, but it soon turned into an argument._

" _You know it'd be really nice to not have to be a single parent." Lucy's voice drifted up from downstairs. "You don't care about me, you don't care about any of them…you don't even care that Alan's home sick right now!"_

" _Hey now, hold on! I work in order to keep food on the table and clothes on everybody's backs…how can you accuse me of not caring for my children!?"_

" _Oh really, then I suppose you care enough to know that you forgot our dinner date last night. I know you have a busy schedule, but it'd be nice to have a little help from time to time!" Lucy yelled._

" _What more do you want from me?" Jeff argued back._

" _I want you to be here, I want you to help me!"_

" _Can you hear yourself?"_

" _I am doing everything! Literally everything!"_

" _Would you just let me talk?!"_

" _You don't care about me! You don't care about them! Hell I don't think you even care that you've got an eight year old who's sick upstairs!" Lucy accused._

 _"I do so care about my child! If you'd give me a chance to get a word in edge wise, you'd know that I am at a breakthrough! My hard work will soon pay off!" Jeff tried to reason._

 _"Oh yeah?! What more could you have to add to this conversation?" Lucy and Jeff began arguing more, their yelling picking up in volume. "I can't believe I married you! You're married more to your job then you are to me!"_

 _"That's not true! I'm trying to give you all a comfortable lifestyle!" Jeff yelled._

 _"I don't want a comfortable lifestyle! I want my husband! I want my children to have their father!" Lucy screamed. "If you can't sever the apparent marriage to your work for me, then I want a divorce!"_

 _Alan who'd been upstairs, trying to sleep off the fever – had been woken up by his parents arguing. He tossed back his blankets and slid down from his bed before he padded down the hall to peek into the living room. He saw his mom and dad, standing practically toe to toe screaming in each other's faces. Covering his ears, Alan hurried back upstairs and hid under his blankets. He didn't like when his mom and dad argued. He wished they'd just get along, as long as he could remember, his mom and dad had always argued.'_

A soft knock at his door woke Alan from his sleep and he asked softly. "Who's it?"

"I can't sleep Allie…can I sleep with you?"

Alan glanced at his clock, finding he'd slept for a few hours now. The sun was setting and Alan knew it was late afternoon. Standing up, Alan hobbled towards his door. He unlocked his door and looked down at the little mini version of their mom standing there in her bunny slippers and Tangled night gown. She was holding the stuffed kitten Alan gave her for her birthday, Patches. Her hair was a mess and her face had pillow crease lines on it.

"Come on Princess, you can sleep with me." Alan said as he let Mae enter his bedroom. Hobbling towards his bed, Alan helped his little sister onto the twin bed before climbing in after her. Once they were both situated, Alan pulled the covers up to her shoulders and laid there looking at his baby sister.

"What's gonna happen to us Allie?" Mae asked, her bottom lip trembling minutely.

Alan didn't know what he could say to possible comfort the little girl next to him, but he hoped and prayed that what he said next wouldn't make her burst into tears. Because if she did then he'd start crying and then they'd both be inconsolable.

"Our big brother Scott is going to try to get custody of us…he won't let us be separated." Alan whispered before holding his arm up when Mae came closer and snuggled into his chest. "We'll be okay."

* * *

 ** _A/N: I know I've got this story marked as complete, I'm going to try to make this a multichapter now. After posting the story, I felt a drive to try to increase the chapters and so far I'm coming up with quite a bit. This story obviously doesn't follow the main story neither the original nor the remake and I'll change the synopsis to reflect it's AU. Comments appreciated, no flames._**

 ** _Sad-Blue-Eyed-Angel 2010_**


	3. New Responsibilities

A month went by before Jeff decided to return to the island to resume business. One by one, each of Alan's brothers left to follow their dad until only Scott, Alan and Mae remained. The first night on their own, Scott found his nerves were frayed. Alan and Mae had been arguing most of the afternoon and Alan had gotten especially mad at Mae when she stamped her foot and screamed about how she wanted her mommy and daddy. Scott only barely managed to keep Alan from screaming at the four year old, thereby saying something he'd regret.

"Alan, go to your room! Mae, leave your brother alone!" Scott wondered how his mom and stepdad did it. These two were trying his last nerve and he didn't know what more he could do to keep from losing it and punishing both his little brother and sister.

Alan growled before he strode upstairs and Mae grabbed a pillow and screamed into it. Once the two of them were separated, the house was finally quiet for a change. Both youths had been at it all day, having started after Alan had burned Mae's grilled cheese and they were out of butter so they couldn't make another sandwich. Alan had been forced to make Mae a peanut butter and jelly to which Mae threw a huge fit over.

First things first, Scott was going to give both siblings time to cool their heads before he suggested they all go to the store and get some shopping done. He didn't know what all they needed, but a cursory glance around told Scott that they were out of quite a bit. They needed bread, butter, something for dinner, milk, cereal and cheese. Digging through the drawer by the refrigerator, Scott wrote down a small list to start with. He'd ask Alan and Mae what kinds of things they ate after they'd calmed down for a bit.

Grabbing a seat at the table, Scott began sifting through the bills he'd picked up from the mailbox by the road. He opened the bills that were addressed to his mom and stepdad, trying to assess the bills he'd need to pay or send back with a message that the recipient of said mail had passed away. He started to open a letter that was addressed to Alan Tracy c/o Scott Tracy, before he stopped himself. Laying the letter back down, Scott made note to give it to Alan later when he went up to talk to him.

Picking up a small envelope, Scott opened it to see a sympathy card to the Gregory family. He read through it before he laid it down. Picking up another envelope, Scott opened it before wincing. It was a bill for the funeral costs of both his mom and stepdad. He couldn't believe it cost $8000 per person. That didn't include the cost of the pastor, nor the cost of the caskets or the grave diggers. After doing some math mentally, Scott concluded it'd cost well over $25,000 to pay off the funeral bill of his mom and stepdad. Running a hand through his hair, Scott forced a harsh sigh from between his lips.

He didn't know what he was going to do. He still had to buy groceries, and put fuel in the car to take Alan and Mae to school and daycare respectively. He'd have to pay the utilities and water bill as well as the electric bill and cable. Everything was stacking up and Scott was slowly finding himself being swallowed by the realization that now he wasn't just the oldest of his mother's children, he was also the legal guardian of his youngest brother and baby sister. He was essentially a dad now and he didn't know if he could do it.

Laying his head on the table, Scott tried to let himself calm down. He thought to himself of his situation and realized that with him being on indefinite shore leave from IR, he'd be unable to earn a paycheck and with being here and not with his dad or in New York at the very least, his chances of earning a paycheck from Tracy Enterprises were nonexistent. He'd need to find another job, because everything he'd had saved up in his checking account would dwindle eventually with having to raise a family.

"Scott, I'm hungry…" Mae whispered when she finally got over her tantrum and wandered into the kitchen. Scott lifted his head and looked at his baby sister. He was tempted to tell her that tough, she had a chance to eat the peanut butter and jelly sandwich that Alan made for her, but she threw it on the floor instead. But he knew he couldn't do that to her. He stood and dug into the refrigerator for something to feed her. He came out with an apple, and an egg. He'd make her some scrambled eggs and cut up an apple to feed her before he'd go up and see if Alan was hungry at all.

"Alright kiddo, all you get is scrambled eggs until we can get to the store…so I don't want any more tantrums. You throw another tantrum and I'll be forced to put you in time out." Scott said before he picked Mae up and put her in her booster seat. He walked over to the stove and started making the scrambled eggs for his sister. He heard Alan upstairs moving around and he wondered if Alan was going to come down to see what's cooking.

When he'd finished making the eggs for Mae, he placed them on a plate in front of the child who ate them with a grimace. "Ketchup…"

"Ketchup?" Scott asked, not following.

"Mae doesn't like plain scrambled eggs, she gags if she tries to eat them plain. Scrambled eggs and ketchup are her signature for that meal." Alan murmured before he walked towards the fridge and pulled ketchup out to squirt some onto Mae's plate.

"You and her are two of the same…you know. I remember how you'd always prefer eating scrambled eggs and macaroni and cheese with ketchup also." Scott said with a small smile. "You hungry at all Alan?"

"I'll make myself a peanut butter sandwich thanks…" Alan said as he grabbed the peanut butter before remembering0 they were out of bread. "Or not…"

"How about this?" Scott started. "If you can hang on ten minutes, when Mae finishes her eggs – we'll go to the store and we can swing through one of those drive through places and you can get something to eat."

"I guess that works…" Alan said, his voice detached.

"It's going to have to work for the time being kiddo. Until I can find a job, we're going to need to keep to the basics." Scott said before another thing to add to the list came to mind. Grabbing his grocery list, Scott penciled in 'newspapers' so that he could find a job hopefully.

… … … … … … …

Alan walked forward, key in hand to unlock the front door so that he and Scott could bring the groceries into the house. He held Mae's hand and told her to go into the living room and play with her toys while he and Scott unloaded their bags. Turning back around, Alan went to help Scott.

"I forgot how much teenagers and toddlers ate, my god that was expensive." Scott groaned over the one hundred and fifty dollar grocery bill. He couldn't believe he'd spent that much on groceries. The family's retainer Kyrano did all the grocery shopping and he never mentioned how much on average groceries could cost. And this was just for Scott, Alan and Mae – Scott didn't want to imagine the grocery bill for his dad, three brothers, the retainer and his wife and kid as well as their lead scientist Brains and his son…that bill was probably phenomenal.

"It's a lot cheaper now though…" Alan said softly. "Mom always spent around two hundred dollars on groceries. Every two weeks."

Scott was left speechless at what his brother was saying and he stopped to look at his reflection in the car window. He visibly deflated as he grabbed a couple paper bags and plastic sacks of groceries.

"Yeah…" Scott whispered before he handed a few bags of groceries off to Alan. "Come right back, don't start putting everything away just yet."

"Yes sir…" Alan said as he walked away. He missed the sad look on Scott's face because of his reply.

Once left alone, Scott was left to contemplate what he could possibly do to cheer Alan and Mae up. Since their mom and Brandon died, Alan and Mae had been a shadow of themselves…rightfully so. But it was still odd that he had yet to hear Mae laugh nor see Alan smile. He knew today was really his first day as a true guardian for those two kids…but he didn't know how long he could handle the perpetual sadness.

… … … … … … …

A few hours later found Scott standing in front of the stove scrambling some hamburger meat. He was trying his hand at homemade tacos. He glanced over his shoulder at Alan and Mae. The two youngsters were working on a puzzle at Scott's insistence.

"Hey, how do you two feel about watching a movie after dinner?" Scott asked from over his shoulder.

When he didn't hear a reply, he glanced over his shoulder to see Alan and Mae were both pouting. "Hey, what's up guys, why the long faces?"

"It's Friday…" Mae said softly before she looked up to Scott.

"Yeah, and?" Scott asked as he tapped the spatula on the side of the pan before turning to look at his little brother and sister. After looking at the two pouting kids for a moment, he questioned them further. "Why does it matter that it's Friday?"

"Mom and Brandon would always have a Friday family movie night." Alan supplied.

As soon as he heard the news, Scott once more for the second time that day visibly deflated. He walked forward and sat between his siblings before he looked at their sad faces. "You guys…there's always going to be Fridays…you can't let your worlds stop just because mom and Brandon aren't here anymore."

"But we can't…not anymore." Alan whispered sadly.

"Sure you can, just because they're gone doesn't mean you need to stop having your movie marathons. Continue these Friday marathons and remember…always remember the fond memories you had with mom and Brandon." Scott said before he snaked an arm around both Alan and Mae's shoulders and pulled them into him. "I know it still hurts that they're gone, but you can't let it get you down too much. They may be gone from the here, but they'll always be with you here…" Scott gently cupped Alan and Mae's heads to remind them that their mom and dad were still there in their thoughts and memories.

Alan and Mae both offered Scott a small smile.

"And they'll always be in your hearts." Scott said softly. "Now what do you say we get dinner fixed up, sit down with a bowl of popcorn and have ourselves our own little movie marathon…in mom and Brandon's memory?"

Alan and Mae leaned into Scott's side, appreciative of his comfort that he was offering to them in the face of their tragedy.

"Yeah, that'd be cool Scott." Alan murmured softly as he looked up at his older brother. "Thanks."

"No problem bud." Scott whispered before he pressed a kiss to Mae's forehead and leaned his head on Alan's head.

… … … … … … …

Later that night as the credits rolled on the fourth film they'd managed to watch – Scott who was nestled between both Alan and Mae offered a smile more to himself than to anyone in particular. He looked down to see Mae had curled up and was using his lap as a pillow while Alan had fallen asleep using Scott's left arm as a pillow also. He hadn't the heart to wake either of them but he knew they couldn't sleep on the couch. He and Alan would have sore backs in the morning and Mae proved to be quite the little morning pipsqueak.

Regretfully, Scott shook Alan's shoulder and woke up his little brother.

"Huh?" Alan groaned as he pried his eyes open. "Wha'?"

"Time to go to bed kiddo, you're practically sleepwalking at this point." Scott whispered. "Go on, I'll put Mae to bed."

Alan grumbled groggily as he stood with the aid of Scott. He turned and gave his brother a cockeyed look as he struggled to keep his eyes open.

"Go on to bed Alan, I've got this covered." Scott repeated as he stood in one swift movement cradling Mae delicately in his arms. "Go."

Alan stood before Scott and shuffled from foot to foot, hanging his head in what Scott took to be embarrassment.

"What is it?" Scott asked knowing Alan better than his youngest brother thought he did.

Alan mumbled something unintelligible before Scott raised an eyebrow in question thereby prompting Alan to repeat himself…clearly.

"I haven't been sleeping well…can I stay with you?" Alan asked shyly, embarrassed to be asking to bunk with his 26 year old brother when he himself was sixteen. "You know what…forget it."

"Alan…it's okay. I know you and you don't have to hide from me. If you'd feel more comfortable sleeping with me tonight then I'll allow it…but just for tonight." Scott said before saw Alan practically light up. "Lets' just make this a sleepover…Mae can stay too."

With that said, Scott led Alan up the stairs before branching off. Scott was going to go put Mae in her pajamas since she was already asleep and Alan was going to go put on his pajamas before they met in the guest room that Scott claimed as his own for the time being. Scott took great care not to wake Mae up when he changed her into her Princess Jasmine nightgown. After putting her in her jammies, Scott carried her to his room and found Alan already there. When he began to get Mae settled in bed, Alan stopped him.

"You need to wake her up." Alan said to which Scott gave him a look of incredulity.

"Why? She's already asleep." Scott asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Scott, you've dealt with little kids before…what are they best known for doing if they don't do it before going to bed?" Alan asked with a similar look at his oldest brother. When Scott gave him a questioning look in reply, Alan snorted. "They'll pee the bed genius…Mae doesn't wear Nighty nights and she's out of diapers. You've got to wake her to make sure she goes potty before she goes to sleep or she'll pee the bed."

Once the secret was out, Alan gently shook Mae awake to which she fussed over. But Alan knew what to say to make her get up.

"Wake up Mae, you need to go potty before you can go back to bed." Alan said softly to which Mae pried her eyes open with a groan. "Don't wanna…"

"You're gonna pee the bed if you don't. Come on, let's give it a try huh?"

Mae became grouchy when Alan persisted, but soon Alan was hobbling down the hall with Mae after convincing her to use the potty before going to bed. When they returned a few minutes later, Alan was carrying Mae who'd gone back to sleep.

"Did she go?" Scott asked after giving it some thought and remembering the unpleasantness of waking with younger brothers who'd crawled into bed with him and had peed the bed when they were younger.

"Yeah, we both did. She fell asleep as soon as we finished washing our hands." Alan said as he laid Mae down on the inside of the bed, closest to the wall. "Do you mind if I sleep on the outside?"

"Go ahead…I'll sleep in the middle." Scott said before crawling between the sheets and getting situated before Alan joined them. It was a tight fit, but they managed and before Scott knew it he was once again the only one awake – Alan had fallen asleep almost from the moment his head had hit the pillow and Mae…she seemed to sleep like a rock. Scott laid awake for a moment before closing his eyes and trying in earnest to go to sleep.

… … … … … … …

The next day which thankfully was a Saturday meant they could all sleep in. Scott woke up first and found that at some point during the night he and Mae had switched places and the littlest occupant was nestled between Scott and Alan. He offered a soft chuckle when he saw that both kids were still sleeping deeply.

He wondered how he'd free himself from the bed without waking the two of them. He could see it on their faces now in the filtering sunlight but apparently neither of them were sleeping very well. Alan's face was pale and he had dark smudges beneath his eyes while Mae just had dark smudges…Scott hoped that they were more rested today and hoped today would have less arguments between the two youngest occupants.

Taking his chances, Scott slid down to the foot of the bed before he climbed off the bed and did a silent victory dance when Alan and Mae remained asleep. He went to the closet and grabbed a change of clothes before tossing a second glance over his shoulder to see Mae and Alan still sound asleep. Pulling his door close but not fully shut, Scott went down the hall to go take a shower.

As he stood under the water, washing away the frustrations building up in his muscles – Scott got to thinking. He'd have to create a resume for work and he'd need to contact the people that weren't his family to put in a good word as his references if he was going to find a job somewhere. The only thing was, he didn't know the first place to look. He figured he'd look through the newspapers he'd picked up the night before until he found a job.

After finishing his shower, Scott dried off and went about his morning ritual. He had to shave first off, he absolutely hated having a beard. As he applied the shaving cream, his thoughts turned to the kids now under his care. He'd need to go in and talk to Alan's teachers about makeup assignments to bring the kid's grades up. Alan had fallen into a depression barely a week after they'd laid their mom and stepdad to rest and Alan couldn't focus on his homework, much less go to school and function when he was taking oxycodone to manage the pain of a broken leg. Those meds made Alan higher than a kite on a windy day. So needless to say, Scott had been keeping Alan home and delivering his assignments to the front desk with a doctor's note stating Alan would require to miss more than a couple weeks of school as he recovered from the accident.

As he spread shaving cream on his cheeks and chin, Scott began wondering more over how he was also going to afford daycare for Mae. She used to go to daycare for free because Lucy used to be the daycare worker that watched the small town's child populous. Now Scott was left to wonder how much exactly Mae's daycare would cost. He winced when he felt his razor nick his chin and when he pulled the razor away his chin was noticeably bleeding. Scott rinsed his blade before he went back to what he'd been doing. He needn't focus on such matters yet. While he was still putting in applications for work, he'd be able to watch Mae until he'd have an interview. Only then did he face trying to find a babysitter for Mae.

A knock on the door brought Scott from his thoughts and he paused in running the razor over his cheeks.

"Yes?" Scott asked as he turned off the water to listen to who was outside the bathroom.

"Are you almost done?" Alan asked.

"Maybe a few more minutes, I'm just shaving…why?" Scott asked to which he received radio silence. "Is everything okay?"

"I've got to take a leak and Mae's doing a little jig out here." Alan replied to which Scott opened the door to, to see that Mae was in fact dancing a potty dance while Alan was leaning on the opposite wall with his legs crossed.

"Go on, I'd like to finish shaving." Scott said as he gave over the bathroom to Mae who ran in and shut the door in Scott and Alan's faces. The oldest brother looked at Alan and all he offered was a shrug. "She always does that."

"Ok…" Scott said as he leaned against the wall and faced Alan. "So is there anything you wanted to do today?"

"Not really…it's not right to go pester Chaz considering he's studying for midterms." Alan said before shifting on his feet and taking the pressure off of his leg that was now housed in a walking boot as opposed to a cast like it had been earlier. "I suppose I should be doing the same thing."

"Don't worry about it right now Alan…" Scott excused before glancing over his shoulder at the closed door. "You think Mae's going to finish in this lifetime?"

"Mae hurry up! I've got to go too!" Alan called, his brow furrowing as he heaved a deep sigh.

"In a minute!" Mae replied back hotly to which Scott heard Alan mutter something about the toddler being four going on fourteen. Scott had to try not to laugh aloud at the fact that their baby sister was a precocious little spitfire. When the toilet flushed and the door opened to reveal Mae, Alan groaned aloud.

"Thank God! Finally!" Alan hobbled past Mae and shooed her out the door before shutting the door swiftly. Scott shook his head in bemusement when he saw the look of indignation on Mae's face at being pushed aside. That was another thing he'd have to consider. If he was going to live here for the next two and a half years, he'd have to see what adding a second bathroom to the house would cost. It'd add to the value of the house when it came time to sell it and then they wouldn't be fighting over one bathroom.

When Alan exited the bathroom a few minutes later he offered Scott a sheepish smile in return to which Scott ruffled his brother's hair. "Go get dressed and help Mae dress too, I was thinking we'd go out for a walk."

Alan looked down at his foot in the walking boot before meeting Scott's gaze.

"Sorry, maybe a drive then. I was going to go around to some of the local businesses and go pick up applications. Thinking we'd go out and just spend some time together." Scott said softly.

"Yeah." Alan replied softly, detecting Scott's desire to not only get to know them better – but he was also trying to understand their small town. It was a small community and Scott was lost, which was glaringly obvious to Alan the night previous when Scott took the wrong road to go to the store.

… … … … … … …

An hour later, after breakfast had been had and everyone was dressed – Scott suggested they go for a drive. They got Mae in her booster seat and Alan had cautiously gotten back into the vehicle. He'd grown wary of vehicles after the accident to which Scott couldn't fault him on. The accident was pretty bad from eyewitness report and if he'd been revived at the scene like Alan had been, he supposed he'd be wary too.

Making a mental note, Scott remembered the doctor's suggestion that they - meaning all three of them attend a meeting with a grief counselor to help them cope with Lucy and Brandon's death. That's something else he'd have to look into now that it was just him Alan and Mae.

As they drove around for an hour, Scott scanned the storefront windows advertising for help wanted. They drove past a gym and it was Alan who'd spoken up. "You got your associate's degree in physical fitness didn't you?"

Scott gave pause as he sat at a red light before looking in Alan's direction to see his baby brother staring back at him. He'd been able to have the bandage from around his eye removed and he had a noticeable scar removing a bit of his eyebrow and down to the middle of his cheek. Doctor's had commented how lucky Alan was that shard of glass hadn't caused him to go blind. Instead it just gave him a superficial wound but bad enough to leave a permanent scar on his face that could one day be fixed with laser corrective surgery if he wanted it.

"Yeah, just before I joined the Air Force…why?" Scott asked before returning his attention to the matter at hand – driving.

"Well, the gym over there can't seem to find help that is properly trained…you went to school for that so…" Alan murmured which made Scott glance back over with a raised eyebrow of how he'd know that. "Mom and Brandon had a membership that they added me onto so I could go run in the winter. There's an empty office and when I've asked about it, they mentioned they had a position available. Constantly joked that it was reserved for me when I finish high school. Wouldn't hurt for you to try…and the gym offers daycare to people attending or to those that work there. Mom and Brandon often let Mae go to play with the other little kids."

"You know, that's not a bad idea Al." Scott said as he offered his brother a smile. If he could apply and get the job there, he'd have daycare taken care of and he'd be able to provide an income for his acquired dependents.

* * *

 _ **A/N: So here is the latest update to A Walk To Remember, I hope you've enjoyed it so far. If there are any suggestions that you'd like to read or see mentioned in this story, please let me know and I'll do my best to incorporate it. This is an AU so don't expect the story to follow either of the shows from TV. I do work every day and I'm currently in the process of apartment searching, so I'll update when I find the time to.**_

 _ **Love reviews and they make me smile. No flames are welcomed!**_

 _ **Sad-Blue-Eyed-Angel 2010**_


	4. Answered Prayers

**_A/N: So I figured it was about time I posted an updated chapter to this story...hope you enjoy. Gonna go to sleep now and try to get to feeling better. My side has been throbbing all of today and most of yesterday and it makes it hard to enjoy my day off when I'm feeling under the weather. Comments appreciated - please no flames._**

 ** _Sad-Blue-Eyed-Angel 2010_**

* * *

A little over a week passed and Scott made one of several trips around town turning in applications. He felt like he was on his own for the most part. John and Virgil called periodically to find out how he was doing and Gordon called to ask if Scott was ready to come home with his "new family" to which got Scott riled up. He didn't like his brothers feeling like he'd abandoned them for Alan and Mae, but after seeing the utter devastation on Alan's face all those weeks ago; Scott couldn't bear to turn his back on Alan and force him to uproot after he'd been bopped around like a ping pong ball during the custody battle.

He stood in the kitchen making dinner and waiting for Alan to come home from school. The younger boy seemed to have extracurricular activities after class and he'd been faithfully going to that like his life depended on it. Tapping the spatula against the side of the pan, Scott set it on the trivet as he turned to look at Mae. She had this pitifully bored look on her face and he felt bad for her. She'd asked him if they could play hide and seek together and Scott who'd been working on another application refused. He promised her later, but later turned into several hours and Scott had to tell her no a fifth time when he set about cooking dinner for his little brother and sister. He just didn't have time.

The phone rang and Scott walked over by the sink, glancing at his watch to see it was four in the afternoon. Making a curious face, Scott grasped the phone and answered.

"Hello, Scott Tracy speaking?" Scott asked as he turned to keep an eye on dinner. He was making oven baked chicken with macaroni and cheese and spinach. He needed to keep an eye on the macaroni and cheese to make sure the noodles were boiling.

"Hi, Scott Tracy! This is Wendy Parker from Uptown Fitness, how are you doing?"

"I'm doing okay Ms. Parker, how're you doing?" Scott asked as his heart beat rapidly in his chest. He hoped this call was what he thought it was. He'd had one interview so far and Uptown Fitness seemed really promising.

"I'm well Mr. Tracy. Thank you for asking." Wendy said as she got to business. "I was calling to find out if you would be available on Monday for a second interview?"

"Yes, ma'am. When are you available?" Scott said, keeping his fingers crossed. He wanted this job more than anything. He never realized how hard it really was as an everyday average person trying to work a nine to five that offered low pay. When he worked for his dad at Tracy Enterprises, he was paid almost twenty dollars an hour as well as earning a decent paycheck from International Rescue. He never had a problem earning money and saving it up. Now that he had two kids to look after and paying bills, funeral costs, and buying groceries almost every week – he was grimacing every time he saw a bill of any kind.

"I can pencil you in for…how does 8:30 in the morning sound?" Wendy asked, wanting to make sure Scott was okay with the time.

"It sounds perfect. Thank you!" Scott said as he grinned widely.

"Alright, I have you down for eight thirty Monday morning. See you then Mr. Tracy." Wendy said before she said her farewells to Scott and hung up. Scott was happier than he'd been all week at the prospect of having a potential job. He hoped he got it. Turning his attention back to the cooking food, Scott focused on the meal while he whistled.

Mae sat at the table and she poked out her bottom lip before she slid from her seat and left the kitchen. Climbing upstairs, Mae wandered into her mom and dad's room before pulling herself up on the bed. She laid in the pillows and didn't try to stop the tears as they built up and overflowed from their origin. She cried for a long time, not paying attention to the time until she felt a warm hand on her back. Turning her head to the side, she saw Alan and she threw herself into his arms with a cry.

"Mae, princess – what's the matter?" Alan asked as he gazed at his tearful baby sister. He couldn't figure out what her problem was and he intended to get to the bottom of it. It was his duty as her big brother.

"Scott won't play with me, and I miss mommy and daddy. Daddy always played with me and Mommy always let me play hide and seek with her while we waited on you! I asked Scott to play with me and he kept saying later and then he said no." Mae spilled as big fat tears poured down her cheeks.

Alan was mad, no misunderstanding that. He didn't approve of coming home from school and finding his baby sister was missing only to discover her in their parents room bawling her eyes out. Alan glanced outside, and felt satisfied that the sun hadn't set quite yet. He knew what he was going to do and he was going to do it whether Scott forbid it or not.

"Well princess, I guess it's up to big brother to let you have some fun then huh?" Alan asked as he sat on the bed beside Mae and jostled her to make her get up. When she did get up, Alan gave her a smile before covering his eyes. "One, two, three, four…"

Alan peeked when he didn't feel the bed shift to see Mae giving him a look that told him he was crazy to which he goaded her on.

"Come on Mae, go hide otherwise I win! I'm only counting to twenty so hurry!" Alan said before he recovered his eyes to resume counting. "Five, Six, Seven…"

When Alan didn't cease counting, Mae knew Alan was serious and she hurried off the bed and quickly escaped. After she threw the bedroom door open and sprinted down the hall, Alan raised his voice to continue counting.

"Eight, Nine, Ten…Fourteen, Thirteen, Eighteen, Eighteen and a half…nineteen, twenty! Okay, ready or not! Here I come!" Alan called as he stood up and set out after his sister. Exiting his parent's room, Alan looked up and down the hall to try to guess which way he was going. He thought he saw the door leading into his bedroom move, but wanted to make it more fun for Mae. Turning, Alan went down the stairs a couple steps before turning back and searching up and down the hall. He heard a stifled giggle but pretended not to hear it.

"Gee, I wonder where Mae is, she couldn't have gone far?" Alan played as he opened Mae's bedroom door to look in and he shut the door with a lot of theatrics. He checked down the hall in the bathroom, making a show of raising the lid from the back of the toilet to look in the tank.

Giving a playful shrug, Alan turned his sights on his bedroom. He slowly opened his door and peeked inside. The room was dark and the drapes were drawn despite Alan having opened them earlier that morning. He walked in and checked beneath his bed and in his closet, going so far as to check the cupboards and various places which didn't include behind the drapes. When he finally made it there, he slowly pulled the drapes open only to laugh and yelp when he got hit on the face with a pillow.

"Okay, that does it!" Alan ran back to his bed and grabbed his other pillow before using it as a shield when his baby sister swung the fluffy weapon at his head again. They laughed loudly and weren't quiet by any means. They played for several minutes, soon engaging in a tickle fight before Scott broke up their fun.

"Hey, what're you guys doing? Get washed up and down to the table for dinner." Scott ordered to which Mae pouted. She was finally having fun and she didn't want to stop.

"But Scott…" Mae started only to be stopped by the older man.

"No buts little lady, get to it!" Scott mandated as he shooed his younger siblings to the bathroom and prompted them to wash their hands. "Five minutes, then I expect to see smiling faces at the table."

… … … … … … …

After everyone was seated at the dinner table and plates had been served. Scott started talking to his siblings, he needed to let them know of what was going to be happening in the coming days.

"So Alan, after I drop you off at school on Monday; I have an interview at Uptown Fitness." Scott said as he cut into his chicken and taking a bite.

"Okay, but what about Mae?" Alan asked as he stared across at his baby sister, he was cutting up her chicken so she could eat it without being a heathen and trying to eat it whole.

"What about her?" Scott asked, missing the point that Alan was trying to make.

"She's too young to be by herself, and if I'm at school there isn't anybody that can watch her." Alan stated, seeing the wide eyes Scott made.

"You're right, I'm sorry." Scott said as he glanced at the clock. Wendy should have left already and Scott missed his chance to tell her he'd need an interview later in the day.

"How about this…I'll be late for school. I only have study period for first block and it's a two and a half hour study period. You call me in for the morning and I'll stay here with Mae until you get done then I'll go to school." Alan tried to reason.

Scott didn't like it and he tried to argue the point but Alan eventually won the argument. He made a good point. His teacher rarely took role in study period, so it was not likely that Alan would be marked as absent.

"Fine, Monday morning I'll go to my interview and when I get done I'll take you to school. Then I'll hang out here with Mae and run a few errands." Scott said with a sigh. "The things I do for you two."

"Oh, that reminds me…Mae is a kid, do you think you can ease up a little on her?" Alan asked, not liking the tone with which Scott had spoken to her earlier when he'd come upstairs to tell them to eat dinner. "It's my fault we were late for dinner, I started a game of hide and seek with Mae and then we started having a pillow fight."

Scott looked at Alan as if he'd grown another head. Then was when Alan had used a stern look. "Mae isn't used to the military lifestyle…you can't treat her like she's one of the soldiers in your platoon."

When it looked as though Scott were going to protest, Alan held up his hand. "I just want you to be mindful from now on until Mae is more used to you. She's a little girl, the way you spoke to her earlier almost made her cry and I don't like anyone making my sister cry. Brother or not."

"I'm sorry, I didn't know. I'm not trying to make things difficult on any of you." Scott apologized as he heaved a sigh. He didn't know what he was doing. When he'd helped his mom and dad raise Alan as a baby, he was a kid himself and his mom and dad handled the hard stuff. Like bills, grocery shopping, car maintenance. This whole raising a family thing wasn't his cup of tea and yet he'd stepped up to the plate. He'd taken on raising a family that wasn't from him, sure they were related, but they weren't _his_ children. They were his little brother and baby sister.

"Well now you do. I know you're not used to having a child around…unless you count Gordon a child." Alan replied to which Scott snorted with a shake of his head.

"Uh no…no Gordon can often be childlike, but he's not a child." Scott defended.

"But he's not happy that you stayed to watch me and Mae." Alan said, saying it not as a question but as a statement. Scott knew Alan though and he knew he was sharp on his feet.

"No, not really no." Scott admitted softly. "He feels like I've abandoned the family back at the island and decided to make you two my new family."

Alan developed a wry grin that looked more sad that playful though. He shook his head before he pushed Mae's plate in front of her.

"Hey princess, Scott and I are gonna step into the kitchen. I want you to stay here and eat your food. And don't forget your veggies, you can't grow big and strong without them." Alan said before looking at Scott and giving him a look that said ' _we need to talk_ ' to which they both stood and went in to the kitchen.

Once the kitchen door closed, Alan turned to Scott and looked directly at him. He folded his arms across his chest and leaned back against the counter as he settled in for what he thought and felt might be a long conversation.

"Are you happy being here?" Alan inquired as he watched his brother's eyes widen marginally at the question.

After giving it some thought Scott nodded. He was happy being there. It wasn't ideal, but he'd given up life on the island a thousand times if he was given a choice.

"I wish mom and Brandon hadn't died, but if I had to make this choice again, there's nothing I wouldn't do for you." Scott said as he tilted his head. He saw Alan look like he wanted to withdraw within himself and at the first sniffle, he knew what was about to happen.

"I'm glad that you…you know made the sacrifice to take care of me and Mae. But I do wish mom and Brandon hadn't died." Alan ducked his head and sniffled again. He refused to meet Scott's gaze and it wasn't until he was embraced in a tight hug that he let down his walls and cried openly. "Thank you."

"Buddy, you don't need to thank me, I'd gladly help you. I mean…screw what Gordon says. He's had me there for him since you left to go live with mom when you were ten. Now it's your turn. You have nothing to feel guilty or sorry for, I'm doing this because you're my little brother and that in there…is my baby sister. You guys are my family. But so are they." Scott said as he pointed back towards the dining room where Mae was at still working on her dinner…hopefully anyway.

When Scott pulled away he looked down at his brother before using his thumbs to brush the tears away from Alan's eyes. "Come on, knock off the waterworks."

Alan offered his brother a tearful smile before using the heels of his hands to wipe away the tears and dry his eyes.

"I guess I'm just scared that…you know, you're gonna leave." Alan murmured.

"No, I can't…I swore on mom's grave the day of her funeral that I'd see to it that you finished school in one place, that you'd never have to make new friends at a school you weren't familiar with. Tracy men keep their promises even if dad didn't keep his to mom." Scott said before hugging Alan tightly once more. "I'll get a job, and we'll get by. We'll be a family and you'll graduate and go into the military."

"Wha-?" Alan asked to which Scott whispered in reply.

"I heard you when you were visiting mom's grave. You want to join the armed forces after you turn eighteen and graduate…and I just want to let you know that I support you. I'll watch over Mae until you get back and then if you want, you can come back to the island and join us again." Scott said softly.

"Thanks again." Alan whispered.

"What do you say we head back in and eat our dinner then settle back down to watch a movie?" Scott asked to which Alan offered a smile and a big nod of his head.

… … … … … … …

That following Monday, Scott stood nervously in the bathroom with the door open. He was checking his outfit for the fourth time that morning. Alan hobbled up still on his crutches joined with the PJ's he'd worn the night prior.

"You look fine Scott." Alan said as he leaned into the door frame with a soft smile.

"Are you sure?" Scott asked as he ran the comb through his hair once more.

"Scott, are you…nervous?" Alan asked with a wry grin.

"Maybe just a little bit. I mean, this job would certainly help take the edge off when it comes to paying bills." Scott mumbled before he tugged on his shirt to make sure there wasn't a wrinkle in sight.

"Scott, even if you don't get this job…it's not going to be the end of the world. Just means we'll all still have to look." Alan said before he shifted his shoulder against the door. "I mean, it wouldn't be the first time that it's been tight financially. I mean when Mae was born and mom was out of work – it got super tight with just Brandon working…but we made it." Alan said even though he knew it would do little to make Scott comfortable with the idea of remaining jobless.

Once Scott finished primping, he turned to look at Alan before he stood up straight. "Okay, how do I look?" Scott inquired as he tried to invoke just a shred of confidence that he didn't feel.

"Like my older brother getting ready for a job interview." Alan said as he hopped on one foot into the bathroom to flatten Scott's collar of his shirt. With a convincing pat on his shoulder, Alan continued with. "Now get out of here, I've got some business to take care of."

Scott left with a wry smile of his own as the bathroom door shut softly so as to not wake the other member in the house who usually threw horrific temper tantrums when she didn't get enough sleep.

Scott left the house and as he was backing out of the driveway he looked back at the house and smiled. He found it interesting that despite all the sadness and tragedy in the last month, he was actually happy. It's not that he'd been unhappy back on the island with his dad and his brothers, but it was just that he…felt like he could breathe easier here. He didn't have to live up to the expectations of his father, didn't have to contend with his other brothers. It wasn't ideal raising two children, but he'd done it before when his brothers were growing up and Alan was just a baby. He figured he could do it again and now that he was older, it'd be much easier the second time around.

He drove to the place he needed to get to - Uptown Fitness and he gripped the steering wheel tightly. Exhaling deeply, Scott mentally prepared himself for the rejection that could happen. He heard a chime from his pocket and he pulled his phone from his pocket to see a picture of Alan and Mae giving thumbs up. He smiled to himself before pocketing his phone and going into Uptown Fitness with a new vote of confidence.

… … … … … … …

Walking into the facility – Scott strode up to the counter and offered a confident smile to the receptionist.

"Hello, how can I help you?" The receptionist asked with a smile.

"I'm here for a second interview with Ms. Parker. I'm Scott Tracy." Scott said as he looked around to check out the facility. He could see state of the art equipment and he could see that it seemed like a good place.

"Oh yes, Scott. Let me call Ms. Parker and let her know you're here." The receptionist said before she picked up the phone and dialing who Scott would assume to be Ms. Parker. She spoke for a split second before hanging up the phone and directing Scott to a chair across the room. "Wendy will be right with you."

Scott nodded before he went to take a seat. He sat by for a few minutes until Ms. Parker showed up and extended her hand to shake his hand. Scott looked up once more at the gracefully aged woman that stood before him.

"Good morning Mr. Tracy." Ms. Parker said as she greeted Scott.

"Ms. Parker." Scott said as he stood to follow Ms. Parker to her office. He mentally crossed his fingers, hoping and praying that he'd get this job.

… … … … … … …

Alan sat in the living room watching Mae play with her Lego Duplo blocks that Mae begged Alan to buy for her fourth birthday which was just a week prior to Alan's own birthday. Alan found it cute that his sister loved those blocks so much. If Alan was up in his room studying and Mae was in the living room while their mom or dad were cooking dinner, Mae would bypass whichever parent was cooking in the kitchen and come straight to Alan to show him the castle she built or the fort for her dolls. She wore dresses and liked playing house, but she also liked playing in the dirt and playing with the boys at daycare as opposed to the other girls. She was equal parts girly-girl as she was a tomboy.

He was watching the clock on the wall, waiting to hear back from Scott. The older was still away at his interview, despite being told it wouldn't be more than an hour. At this point he was almost two hours late from school and he knew if he was any later, it'd be pointless to even go.

Mae walked up to Alan and gave a gentle tug on his hand. Alan looked back over at Mae with a put upon smile.

"Will you play dolls with me?" Mae asked with big brown doe eyes so much like their momma's.

"Sure princess." Alan said before he eased himself onto the floor to pick up a doll from the pile of dolls that Mae set at his feet. They played for a long time until Scott called an hour later. When Alan looked to the clock that hung on the wall, it occurred to him that it was almost noon. It'd be pointless for him to go to class today…he'd be there for three hours and it was pointless to spend the fuel.

When Scott got home half an hour later, it was with a wide smile breaking across his face. Alan gave him an expectant look which slowly formed into a smile.

"Scott?" Alan asked before Scott hugged both Alan and Mae – spinning them around with a laugh.

"I got the job!" Scott laughed joyously. "I got the job!"

"That's great Scott!" Alan exclaimed with an even greater smile.

"Oh my god you guys! I finally have a job!" Scott was ecstatic – he'd actually gotten a job as a trainer no less at a facility on his own. It wasn't a job offered to him by his dad, but a job he'd gotten on his own…at least not without Alan's help which was instrumental.

Alan simply relished in his big brother's happier mood. It was nice to actually see his brother smile again. And he knew that his brother being less stressed would mean easier nights for both him and Mae as well as Scott.


	5. One Step At a Time

Scott gave a high five to the man he was working with. They'd just finished their session and Scott was getting ready to grab his bag and retrieve his baby sister from daycare. His clientele was building as he worked with people at Uptown Fitness. It was nice to be getting paychecks now, instead of wondering when his checking account would have those hypothetical moths flying out when he opened his wallet.

He'd been working at Uptown Fitness for almost three weeks and it'd been hard at first, but with the employment he found out he could bring Mae and leave her in daycare so he could work and Mae would be watched for free since he was an employee at the gym. He had to admit, it was nice to take his lunch break and just go upstairs to the daycare and hang out with his baby sister instead of stressing over bills, groceries, cost of fuel and utilities.

Alan was doing well also, he was getting more involved in extracurricular activities and seemed to always be coming home when the street lights came on. Scott wondered over what his brother was doing, but he didn't question it. Alan was doing his homework and per his progress reports, was doing fantastic in all his classes. He'd really buckled down and Scott was impressed. When he'd been going through his mom and Brandon's things, he'd found Alan's progress reports and report cards and there were classes he was struggling to keep a C in. Now he was pulling almost straight A's. It was impressive, Scott had to admit. Nobody, not even Gordon could pick up his grades better than Alan was doing.

Scott was fastening the straps for Mae's car seat and he was smiling at his baby sister as she babbled about playing with the other kids in daycare all day. Scott lightly tapped Mae on the tip of her nose before he pressed a kiss on her forehead and shut the door. Once he'd finished getting his own seatbelt on, Scott started the car and began to drive. He hadn't heard from Alan at all that day and he wondered why. Normally Alan would text him to let him know how his day went at school and how long he'd be off for extracurricular activities. He thought as he drove just what his brother was always off doing. It couldn't be sports, Alan wasn't constantly washing clothes or smelling like he just came from the gym when he _does_ come in after Scott gets home from work.

Scott was curious, there was no mistaking it. He made the decision that if he didn't find out by the end of this month what Alan was up to, he'd go to Alan's school and spy on him. It was childish, but Scott was curious and he was an older brother. It was natural for him to be curious and up in his brother's business.

Driving through a town he was slowly becoming more and more familiar with as the day went on, Scott looked at the little mom and pop shops that lined the streets. He saw people whose faces were becoming familiar and he wondered if he'd become a recognizable face one day.

It was a short drive after becoming accustomed to the town and the streets. It wasn't as unsettling or daunting as it once was to him. Pulling into the driveway, Scott noticed the living room lights were on, but Alan's bedroom light was out. He shut off the car and went around to get Mae from her car seat before going into the house. Upon entering, Scott noticed the lights were on, but it was super quiet.

He peered into the living room and couldn't find his brother, setting Mae on the floor; Scott urged her to go play for a bit while he went upstairs. Going up to the landing, Scott noticed Alan's door which normally stayed open was shut. He knocked on the door before he opened it to check in on his brother. He could hear soft breathing, but didn't dare turn on the light since it was obvious Alan was asleep. He found it odd that it was so early, but he knew Alan must be tired. Stepping into the room, Scott felt Alan's forehead to see if his brother was sick and found that nope – the kid was just sleeping. Smiling to himself, Scott pulled the blankets up to Alan's shoulders and left his kid brother to sleep. The boy was obviously tired.

… … … … … … …

After Scott went in to check on Alan and found his little brother sound asleep, the older brother wandered back downstairs and stopped by the kitchen. He found a note on the table, written in Alan's chicken scratch and read through it.

 _'I fixed dinner, it's in the oven to stay warm. I prepared a plate for both you and Mae, please sit and enjoy. Sorry I didn't wait up, was exhausted after school. I finished my homework already and don't worry, I'm fine. See you in the morning._

 _Alan_

 _P.S. Dinner is mom's baked macaroni and cheese recipe with some grilled chicken and spinach. Hope you enjoy!'_

"Mae, come get some dinner." Scott lightly called into the living room before the little blond haired brown eyed whirlwind that was Mae came hustling in. Scott pulled the plates from the oven, noticing that Alan had already cut up Mae's dinner into little bite size pieces so she wouldn't choke. The plates weren't hot by any means, Alan never even left the heat on. The plates were almost room temperature and Scott had to reheat both plates for a minute before serving them.

After sitting down at the table, Scott and Mae dug in. Scott was taken aback by the flavor. He'd always loved his mom's baked macaroni and cheese but he hadn't had it since his mom left. ' _I'll have to tell Alan that he got mom's recipe perfectly.'_

Once dinner was done for both Scott and Mae, despite being tired – Scott got up taking their empty plates and cups to the sink to be washed. Scott contemplated washing the dishes, but he heaved a great sigh, He didn't feel up to doing that barely an hour after getting off work. Scott decided he'd leave them for morning and he gathered Mae to go give her an evening bath.

… … … … … … …

It was a little after three in the morning when Scott was woken up. He laid in bed silently for a few minutes, trying to discern what it was that had woken him up before he crawled out of bed and made his way downstairs. He didn't think he'd left the door unlocked, but when he heard a clink sound in the kitchen – Scott grabbed a baseball bat from the hallway closet prepared to use it to protect his little brother and sister from an intruder.

Rounding the corner, Scott allowed the tension to leave his muscles at the sight of Alan standing at the sink. With nothing but the light above the stove on to see by. His kid brother was elbow deep in suds. Scott watched him for a moment before making his presence known.

"What're you doing up so early Alan?" Scott asked. It didn't escape the elder Tracy's notice that Alan visibly tensed up at hearing another person especially at such a late hour. Alan glanced over his shoulder with a sheepish look directed at Scott before returning his attention back to the task at hand. Scott turned on the kitchen light, blinking rapidly when he'd blinded himself. "I know you heard me kiddo, can you answer me?"

Alan offered a shrug but nothing else in reply. Scott watched Alan closely before he walked over and leaned with his back against the counter so he could talk to Alan.

"I can't help you if I don't know what's going on." Scott said as he glimpsed Alan's face closely. His brother seemed troubled, more than your average teenage boy might appear. "Are you having trouble at school?"

Alan silently shook his head. It wasn't something Scott could help with. Virgil maybe, but Alan thought his brothers were mad at him for not wanting to leave Kansas in favor of going to the island and partaking in a private education at a boarding school or via telecom. Alan was afraid mostly of screwing up the play that he and his costars were working so hard on. He wasn't an actor and he wasn't familiar with the cues with music. He'd had a nightmare first of the car accident that killed his mom and Brandon, then it changed to him screwing up the play and his costars getting mad at him. What was worse was that he'd envisioned his mom and stepdad at the play and they didn't hesitate to convey their disappointment in Alan's utter failure to decently perform.

"What is it kiddo? Just can't sleep?" Scott asked softly as he noticed his brother's eyes cloud up with what he believed to be troubling thoughts. "Nightmares keeping you awake?"

Alan contemplated telling the truth, spilling the beans about the play and telling him that it was his punishment for failing another test, but he couldn't see Scott frowning at him too. So, he told a small lie and nodded. It wasn't the nightmares per se that were keeping him awake, more like his thoughts because of nightmares.

"Why don't you leave the dishes for tomorrow?" Scott asked before he stepped up beside Alan and took the dishes from the rinse water and proceeded to put them in the dish drainer.

"Why put off till tomorrow what you can do today? And it's…" Alan glanced at the clock before sighing. "It's already tomorrow."

Scott glanced askance at his little brother. "Do you want to tell me about your nightmare?"

"It was about the accident." Alan said softly before placing the last plate in the rinse water and pulling the plug on the wash water. Alan grabbed a towel from the drawer beside the sink and proceeded to dry his hands and arms. "Nothing to talk about."

"I know that's not true Al. You need to talk to someone. Don't think I don't know that you're keeping quiet when you are in seeing the grief counselor." Scott said though he knew he was bluffing. The grief counselor had a doctor patient confidentiality clause in his contract and wouldn't say so much as a peep when Scott asked him about Alan. Despite Scott being Alan's guardian and Alan being a minor.

"I'm going to bed." Alan said before turning and scurried back up the stairs and locking the door to his bedroom.

… … … … … … …

Alan laid in bed not long after doing the dishes and stared at the ceiling. It wasn't entirely the truth what he's said to Scott. He had had a nightmare about the car accident, but there was a little more to it than that. Alan didn't want to think about it at all. He rolled over and waited for sleep to reclaim him. It felt like only seconds that he was asleep before he was reawakened by a knocking at his door. Alan groaned and buried his head under his pillow to drown out the knocking, but it persisted.

"Alan wake up, it's almost eleven." Scott said from the other side of the door.

"Go away." Alan groaned from beneath his pillow.

"Sorry, no can do kiddo. Got lots to do today, for one we need to take Mae to the park like we promised her last weekend."

"Fine, I'm going to go take a shower." Alan said before hoisting himself from bed.

"Okay, then how about we have some breakfast?" Scott asked as he tried to put the surprise from earlier that morning behind him.

Alan agreed before he wandered to his closet, and grabbed a clean change of clothes before he made his way into the bathroom to shower. As he bathed, he started humming softly to himself. The play was coming up in about a month and he'd needed help running his lines. Vanessa, since she was his co-star offered to help him run lines to get them figured out. He wasn't a drama student and he didn't think he was very good at acting, and Vanessa had told him otherwise. She believed in his ability and in a moment of vulnerability he told her about how he didn't believe in himself and how he feared letting Brandon and his mom down. That was when Vanessa told him that she'd help him figure out his lines for everything.

They'd been meeting every day after school to run their lines. Alan was still embarrassed to be in public, especially acting out the dances that the whole group has been rehearsing – so they'd been meeting in the auditorium and staying extended periods after rehearsals.

It wasn't much longer that Alan went downstairs. He ate his breakfast in silence, watching as Scott cut up Mae's breakfast before starting on his own. Alan didn't know how he was going to tell Scott or any of his other family about the play. Not even his own mom had known about the play. After he'd finished his breakfast, Alan told Scott he was going out and he'd left the house to go for a walk. He didn't walk anywhere in particular, but he let his feet guide him and before he knew it he was standing before his mom and stepdad's headstones at the local cemetery.

Dropping to his knees in front of the grave markers, Alan started to talk.

"I don't know what to do mom, Brandon…I don't want to tell them about the secret project I've been working on, but I know there's gonna be talk the weeks leading up to the production. I want them to be proud of me, but I don't want them to make fun of me for liking the play." Alan said as he looked to Brandon's grave. "You were right when you told me I'd grow to love it. I didn't believe you then, but I do now and I don't want to see the play end."

Alan stayed quiet for a moment as he thought of what else he wanted to talk about before he looked at his mom's headstone and looked at the inlaid photo. It was one of Alan's favorites, his mom had beautiful blonde hair and her smile was gorgeous. Her picture, her brown eyes were shining as she laughed. He missed her and the ache in his heart was something he'd probably never forget.

"I think you'd have loved the play. I thought it was stupid at first, but Brandon working with me on the play made me have an appreciation for it and now I understand why you loved the plays so much and always asked me when I'd start participating. I'm sorry I always scoffed at the suggestion and told you never in a million years. I wish you could be there to see me in a few weeks." Alan whispered before realizing all he had with him was the flimsy paper flower Mae had made for him two nights previous. He pulled it from his pocket and laid it under a pebble on his mother's grave. "I love you mom. Love you dad, miss you both so much."

Standing up, Alan put his hand in his pocket and began walking again. It was only an hour since he'd left his house when he wandered up to his friend Chaz's place. He was surprised to find himself at Chaz's considering he hadn't seen Chaz much since the funeral. Alan hadn't felt much in a social mood for the last few months and he'd distanced himself from his friends thus. Chaz was his best friend though and Alan felt bad for alienating him. He'd stopped getting text messages from Chaz about a month ago, when he didn't feel like responding to those messages.

The texts that Chaz always sent to him following the funeral were the basic worried friend questions. " _I'm here if you need to talk. No matter what anyone says, you're still my best friend. How's it hanging buddy? Are you going to keep ignoring me forever? If you don't begin to reply, I'm going to assume you were abducted by aliens. Am I bothering you? Okay, I can take a hint, you want to be alone. I'll still be here when you want to talk._ "

Alan felt like kicking himself for ignoring Chaz. The other boy had been his best friend since grammar school and Alan was pissing on their friendship because he'd been too depressed and had other things on his mind since the funeral. He raised his hand and rang the doorbell. He was hoping Chaz answered the door, but also hoping he wouldn't. He felt dismayed when the door opened and it was Chaz's mom.

"Alan?" She asked as she was very surprised. She hadn't seen Alan in a long time, not since the funeral. Her son had stopped talking about Alan a month ago, and she wondered what was wrong.

"Is Chaz home? I need to apologize to him." Alan asked softly.

"Of course, dear, head on up. You know where his room is." Chaz's mom said as she let Alan in. The boy took off his shoes in the door before he walked up the stairs.

When he reached Chaz's room, he heaved a breath nervously. Raising his hand up, he knocked timidly. He was surprised when the door opened only to reveal his best friend. The boy's eyes were huge.

"Alan?" Chaz asked in surprise. He didn't think he'd be seeing his friend for a long time if not ever again. He'd grown used to not getting texts or phone calls from his best friend and had just decided to give him space.

"Hi." Alan said as he raised his hand in a small wave.

"Oh, my god, it's so good to see you again!" Chaz said as he hugged his friend tightly and equally as fierce. "Where've you been? I feel like I've been living life without a limb!"

"I've been around." Alan mumbled softly. "Can I come in?"

"Yeah sure!" Chaz eagerly dragged his friend into the room before both boys found seats. Chaz sat on his bed while Alan claimed a seat on the floor. They both sat and Alan seemed to take a few moments before he started to speak.

"Chaz, I wanted to…apologize for not talking to you, or returning your texts. That was a really crappy thing for me to do." Alan said as he gazed up at his friend. Deliberately sitting on the floor, Alan pulled his knees to his chest.

"It's okay dude…I may not know quite how you've been feeling since I've never lost a parent let alone two – but I am still here for you." Chaz said as he looked down at his best friend. "I just figured you wanted your space, not like I had a choice in the matter."

"It's just, I should have talked with you. You're my best friend and you've been there for me through everything." Alan argued.

"Well, I won't lie. I thought you'd abandoned me at first when I saw you talking to those drama kids during lunch when you've been at school. But then I remembered what you said about your punishment." Chaz said softly, seeing his best friend blush lightly. "How's it been going?"

"It's been okay…Um, I kind of have to kiss my costar though." Alan admitted to which Chaz's eyes grew as big as dinner plates. "We've kind of already kissed a little."

"Which costar? I've seen two of them and I must admit they're both hot." Chaz asked. "The blonde one or the one with dark hair?"

"Dark hair…her name is Vanessa." Alan said as Chaz cackled like a maniac. "What?"

"I just can't believe you actually did it!" Chaz continued to laugh. "I remember when you gave me hell for fooling around with Jenny!"

"Well, it's kind of different for us. And it's just a kiss" Alan said softly.

"And how is that?" Chaz asked with a hint of amusement in his voice.

"We're not romantically involved like you and Jenny were. We were running our lines during rehearsals and when we got to that part, Vanessa suggested we practice the kiss." Alan whispered.

"And you went for it or what?" Chaz asked.

"We have to kiss in the play…and I've never actually kissed a girl before. You know that. I tried to give her a little peck and she made us try to make it more realistic." Alan said with a blush.

"Unbelievable my friend, you are unbelievable." Chaz said with a shake of his head. "So how is the play coming along?"

"It's going to be in the next couple weeks. I won't lie, I'm really nervous about it." Alan said as he looked at his friend nervously.

"And why are you nervous? You've done performances before at the coffee shop." Chaz asked.

"Because, those were tiny compared to this…a school play. I must sing and dance, act like I'm someone I'm not and it's a love story. I don't act." Alan said.

"Well, you never know. You might surprise us all." Chaz said. "So, what are you doing the rest of the day?"

"Nothing, Scott reminded me that we promised to take Mae to the park. But I know he also wants us to spend some time together later." Alan admitted as he looked back at Chaz.

"Then let's hang out for a bit and chat then my mom and I can take you home." Chaz said as he grew excited to see his best friend after so long.

* * *

 _ **A/N: Sorry to have been so absent from the FF world and updates. I've had this one update written since the last update but scrapped the idea and re-wrote it. Hope it's satisfactory!**_

 _ **If you haven't already read it, I posted an all new story which I've edited to make three chapters instead of one long chapter. It's title is Problem With The Curve and it's completely finished.**_

 _ **Constructive Criticisms only, please no disparaging remarks.**_

 _ **Reviews are appreciated!**_

 _ **Sad-Blue-Eyed-Angel 2010**_


	6. Down, but not out

_**A/N: Here is an update, I'm hoping to post another new update maybe next week. I've gotten ahead and written five more chapters for this story. I'm still being kept busy with work and college, but I'm finding time in my schedule to write in between assignments and crazy work hours. I've completed the latest chapter for Never Look Back so I might post that tonight.**_

 _ **Reviews appreciated, flames are not - constructive criticism welcome.**_

 _ **Sad-Blue-Eyed-Angel 2010**_

* * *

Alan sighed as he sat up from the couch. He'd come home from play practice more tired than he'd ever been in his whole life. He'd been focusing so hard on his classes and trying to keep up with sports and play practice that he hadn't realized how tired he'd become. He'd been dismissed from play practice earlier than his costars because he kept messing up his lines and his music teacher Mrs. Phelps could see he wasn't at the top of his game, and he'd walked home despite the rain and crashed on the couch moments after walking through the door. It sucked that he'd forgotten his rain coat and had only a wind breaker on to shield from the rain.

Sucking in a deep breath, Alan was taken by surprise when it hurt his throat. He cleared his throat and rubbed it with a gentle hand. He swallowed and winced at the feeling. He tried clearing his throat again and frowned when it had no effect.

"I can't be getting sick." Alan groaned as he rubbed his temples. Now that he'd woken up from his hour-long power nap, it had just hit him how crappy he felt.

Alan slowly made his way to the kitchen to dig through the left-over teabags that his mother kept. She and his step dad were avid tea drinkers and Alan was desiring one of his mom's mugs of tea. Whenever he felt bad, she'd fix him a nice warm mug. With her gone, it occurred to Alan that he didn't know how much honey his mom used to put in his tea or if she ever put sugar in it. It was never too sweet come to think of it, his mom frowned on sugary foods because she wanted him and Mae to have cavity free teeth.

Alan put some water in the electric kettle and let it percolate while he dug through the stash of teabags. He found some tea that was especially for sore throats and decided he'd have a mug of it. As he waited for the water to finish heating, Alan was hit suddenly with a barrage of sneezes.

Sneezing a total of nine times one after another, Alan grunted after he'd stopped. The repetitive motion of rocking his head back and forth with the force of his sneezes made his head hurt just a little bit more. He slouched against the counter, cradling his head in his hands. He'd forgotten how bad his head hurt whenever he got sick. It'd been a little over a year since he'd gotten sick last.

Alan waited as patiently as he could with the discomfort of a throbbing head and achy muscles. When the water finished heating, Alan put the tea bag in the mug and poured the steaming water over top. Checking the packet the teabag came from, Alan set a timer on his watch before deciding he would be more comfortable in his PJs. Heaving a tired sigh, Alan lugged his tired body up the stairs and to his room to change out of his school clothes and into something warm.

Once changed into his PJs, Alan stepped into his slippers and ventured back downstairs to retrieve his mug of tea. The timer on his watch chimed as he went down the stairs and when he'd made it to the kitchen, he grabbed the honey and went over to taste the tea. He wanted to figure out how much honey he needed to add before it was close to his mom's way of fixing it.

He winced again after swallowing the small taste of tea. It hurt to swallow, but also it was incredibly bitter. He squeezed the honey bear and put some honey in his mug. Stirring it, Alan took another sip before grimacing. Just how much honey did his mom add anyway? It seemed like it could need a lot of honey to get to the correct taste.

He squeezed a lot more honey into it before mixing it in. Taking another small sip, Alan made a face when it occurred to him that it was now entirely too sweet. Sighing more to himself, Alan shook his head. He'd go ahead and drink it since this was the only packet of tea that was for throats, but that didn't mean he had to like it.

Just before leaving the kitchen, Alan felt a distinct tickle in his nose before sneezing again. It was just one sneeze this time, but it made his sinuses throb.

"Fantastic." Alan mumbled unhappily as he made his way back to his room. He grabbed the box of tissue from the living room, just before going back upstairs. Maybe if he drank his tea and got some more sleep he'd feel better in the morning. Checking his watch, Alan sighed. Scott wouldn't be home from work until sometime after seven and it was only five. Maybe he could get some more sleep before his whirlwind of a little sister came home with Scott and demanded he play dolls with her.

… … … … … … …

Scott sighed as he shouldered the door open and set his baby sister down before helping her out of her galoshes and rain slicker. It was really coming down outside. He shut the door and started shedding his own rain gear when Mae went tearing into the living room looking for Alan.

"Allie!" Mae called as she ran around to the front of the couch in search of her big brother. When she didn't find Alan, she went running through the house hollering Alan's name. "Allie!"

Mae went running past Scott, making her way up the stairs. She continued hollering after Alan and once she reached the landing she ran to her brother's room. Standing on her tiptoes, Mae used both hands to turn the doorknob and she pushed into Alan's room. It was dimly lit with Alan's bedside lamp on to illuminate the room with a soft glow. Mae smiled when she saw her brother in bed and she did a running jump before vaulting onto his bed and onto him.

Alan came awake with a start at being startled and he groaned at being woken up. His head was pounding if not a little worse than earlier. Mae didn't realize that Alan was feeling under the weather and she shook Alan when he pulled the blankets up over his head.

"Nngh, go 'way." Alan grunted as he tried to ignore little insistent hands shaking him. "Stop it Mae."

"I want to play!" Mae said, her voice loud in comparison to the previous silence.

"No, 'm tired." Alan groaned as he tried to ignore his sister. She continued shaking Alan and he was getting irritated. "Stop Mae! I don't feel good."

Scott had followed Mae up the stairs at that moment and he stepped into Alan's room when he heard Alan telling Mae to stop shaking him. He caught the tail end of what Alan said and made his way to his kid brother's bed.

"Mae, why don't you go get washed up for dinner?" Scott took command and he watched Mae turn on the puppy pout but he shook his head. Pointing out of Alan's room Scott gave his order again. "Downstairs, now."

Mae huffed at Scott but she jumped off Alan's bed and ran out of the room. Scott shook his head at his four going on fourteen-year-old sister before he sat on the edge of Alan's bed.

"Not feeling well, huh?" Scott asked, keeping his hands to himself until Alan rolled over to face him. When Alan uncovered his head, he looked up at Scott and the older brother instantly felt bad for his brother. Scott put the back of his hand on Alan's forehead before moving to his cheek. "You've got a fever."

"Mm-hmm." Alan hummed before blinking tiredly at his brother. "Do I have to go to school tomorrow?"

"You're not going to school until your fever breaks, sorry kiddo." Scott said before he did as Virgil usually did when he'd heard a complaint of someone feeling under the weather and he felt Alan's throat to check for tonsil swelling. "Hang tight, I'm going to go get the thermometer from the bathroom."

Alan blinked tiredly at his brother when the elder got up to retrieve the desired object. When Scott returned, he lightly shook Alan after finding the younger boy had dozed off. Alan grunted tiredly, but he opened his mouth to accept the thermometer when Scott whispered to Alan to do as he said.

Alan laid there with the thermometer under his tongue for the required amount of time and he gave his brother a pitiful gaze when Scott shook his head at the thermometer readout.

"You sore sprout?" Scott asked to which his brother nodded slowly. "Headache and runny nose, and tired?"

Alan nodded to each of the questions before he gave Scott an inquiring look.

"You've got a fever of a 101.3." Scott frowned at his little brother before he set the thermometer on Alan's bedside table. Once his hands were free, Scott pulled Alan's blankets back up over his brother. "Why don't you get some more sleep? I'll run downstairs and fix some dinner and then I'll bring you up some soup and crackers."

Alan hummed again before he fell back asleep. Scott turned out Alan's light so he could sleep in the dark. Standing, Scott moved across the room before he closed Alan's door.

He made his way back downstairs and he sighed when he saw Mae pouting in the kitchen. Deciding he needed to do some damage control, Scott went and sat by her. "You know I didn't send you down here because you were in trouble, right?"

"You're mad at me." Mae said with a frown.

"No, I sent you down here because Alan wasn't feeling good." Scott said before he picked up the little girl and set her on his lap. "Alan doesn't feel good and he can't get better without some rest and he can't do that if he's not getting some sleep. Alan's sick right now and he needs sleep more. I'm not mad at you, but I need you to leave him alone when he's asleep. He'll play with you when he's feeling better."

Mae nodded at Scott and the older brother smiled sadly before hugging the little girl.

"Now go play with your dolls or blocks while I work on dinner." Scott said, setting Mae on the floor to send her off to play.

Once Mae was out of his hair, Scott set out to fix dinner and he called Virgil on the portable vidphone that was set up in the kitchen. The middle son answered the call after a few rings and he quirked his eyebrow at his brother before greeting him.

"Well, how's it been stranger?" Virgil asked as he was surprised to hear from Scott. It'd been a few weeks since he'd heard from his brother.

"I need your medical opinion." Scott said, starting off. He didn't look up at the screen, focusing on removing the cellophane wrapping on a package of chicken.

"Uh-oh. Who got hurt?" Virgil asked as he tilted his head.

"Nobody's hurt, unless you count Mae's feelings." Scott muttered to which Virgil smiled wryly with a head shake and an eye roll. "No, Alan's got a fever, headache, runny nose and he said he was sore. Do you have any recommendations of medications I can give him to get better?"

"Sounds like the flu, how long has he had a fever?" Virgil asked with a frown.

"I don't think he had it earlier, he might've though. He was really grouchy this morning when I got him up for school and nearly bit my head off when I dropped him off today." Scott said with a sigh. He cut some chicken breast while he talked to his brother and didn't give it a thought when he automatically made chicken strips. "I came home from work about twenty minutes ago, and Alan was asleep when I got home with Mae. I just found an empty packet of throat coat tea, so I assume he wasn't feeling great when he got home from school today. He groused at Mae when she woke him up to play and that's when I found out he wasn't feeling good."

"How high was his temp?" Virgil asked.

"101.3, I'm thinking I'll call in to work tomorrow and cancel my appointments with clients so I can stay here with him. I'll ask Mrs. Perkins if she can watch Mae while I keep an eye on Alan. If his fever gets any higher, I may just take him to prompt care."

"I wouldn't take him to prompt care right away. A fever is the body's way of fighting an infection or virus. Give it a while and keep an eye on his temp, if it gets too high – give me or dad a call. He may just need some serious amount of sleep, you told me the last time we talked that he was running from pillar to post. He's probably just burned out and caught the flu because his immune system started flagging. I wouldn't take him to prompt care unless his fever gets dangerously high or he stays sick for an extended period."

"I know, I just hate that he feels so poorly." Scott said back.

"I know you do, you mother hen. But he'll be fine. You can give him some Tylenol with fever reducer, make sure he's got plenty of fluids and is eating as much as he thinks he can handle and some decongestant. If his sinuses started giving him grief, maybe give him some saline spray to help dry out the congestion. Have a little patience when it comes to Alan, you know how crabby he gets when he doesn't feel good." Virgil said.

"Thanks for reminding me." Scott paused before a thought occurred to him. "Do you happen to remember mom's recipe for her get well tea?"

"Yeah, actually. Mom used to use hot herbal tea with two teaspoons of honey and half of a fresh squeezed lemon." Virgil shrugged with a soft smile. "I loved it when she'd fix it for me."

"I think we all did." Scott said. He'd put the cookie sheet with the chicken strips in the oven before going over to the tea basket. "Was there a particular tea mom used?"

"I don't think so, she just used what she had available. I remember her making it with oolong once. It wasn't half bad." Virgil commented. "What do you have?"

"Everything under the sun." Scott replied as he found some herbal teas. "So, maybe some soup and crackers, tea the way mom used to make it, sleep and some fever reducer?"

"Yeah. You can call me anytime if you get concerned with his temperature, but I wouldn't worry too much." Virgil said before he watched his brother from the vidphone. "I know it's kind of bad timing right now, but when do you suppose we can come out to visit?"

"Ah, I don't know Virge. With Alan, sick and my job, I don't know when we'd be able to hang out." Scott commented as he cleaned the cutting board of the liquid left by the chicken breasts. "Can I get back to you on that?"

"Well, it's just. Dad's got to shut down operations for a while to do a complete overhaul on our equipment. A lot of the equipment on the birds needs to be updated, but the shipment of supplies has been delayed and we can't be in business without up to date equipment. Dad was thinking that he'd pardon us to come stay with you guys so we could get to know Mae and just try to reacquaint ourselves with Alan. He wasn't in any shape to do so after the accident and he may want to now." Virgil said as he heaved a sigh. "Not only that, but I miss you. I miss one of my best friends."

"I know, and I miss you too. I miss all of you guys." Scott said as he stopped cleaning the kitchen in favor of looking back at the screen to gaze at Virgil. "How long do you think operations will be down?"

Virgil shrugged before answering. "I have no clue. Dad thinks it could be three weeks to a month."

"No operations for almost a month?" Scott asked as he stared with wide eyed disbelief at his younger brother. "Why so long?"

"I guess the company dad ordered from had some improper cataloguing and they underestimated how much they had available and won't send the shipment until they've gotten the whole order filled. It's really got dad pissed." Virgil said. "He won't send us out with outdated equipment, which I'm glad for. But now, we've got nothing to do until then. Dad suggested that whichever of us talked to you first, we run it past you to see if you could get the time off."

"I can't get the time off, but I should be able to change my availability for a week or two so that I'm at work when opening at five instead of eight. I'd be home earlier then." Scott said as he proceeded to rummage around in the cupboard for a can of soup. "I'll let you know tomorrow after I talk to my boss about changing my availability when I call in to work."

"Okay, that works." Virgil watched as Scott grabbed a can opener and proceeded to open the can of soup. "You take care of the Sprout and keep me updated on his condition."

"Thanks, Virge. Talk to you later, and let the others know that I'm going to try to make accommodations for you guys to visit." Scott said as he heated Alan's soup in the microwave for the required time. He stared into the empty space after Virgil disconnected the video call and waited until the microwave beeped. He put the bowl of soup on a tray with some crackers before preparing their mom's recipe of get well tea.

… … … … … … …

The following morning found Scott taking Mae over to Mrs. Perkins so Alan could rest without the little blonde whirlwind pestering him to play with her. Alan had woken up that morning more miserable than he'd been the night before. His fever was higher, he started coughing, which was dry and non-productive, complaining of sinus pressure, sneezing, chills, headache and muscle aches. Scott called his boss and told them he would need to cancel his appointments because he was taking care of his little brother that had developed the flu.

While he'd been on the phone with work, he'd asked to talk to his boss Ms. Parker. He asked her if he could adjust his schedule for the next few weeks to accommodate his brothers that wanted to come and visit and she graciously accepted it. She'd originally wanted Scott earlier in the mornings, but because of having two minors to care for and one car; he'd had to make a schedule that fit so he could take Alan to school and not wake Mae any earlier than was necessary.

Once he'd gotten off the phone with Ms. Parker, Scott made his way upstairs. He stopped outside Alan's room, hearing his kid brother coughing. He frowned at the sound, before he pushed into the room. Alan was asleep, but he was still coughing in his sleep. He took an appraising look at his brother, noticing the dark smudges beneath Alan's eyes, pale complexion, scarlet hue across the bridge of his nose and cheeks along with sheen of sweat. Taking pity on his brother, Scott turned and left Alan's room to go to his own room. He went in and grabbed all but one pillow from his bed and took them back to Alan's room.

"Al, wake up for a second." Scott set the pillows on the foot of Alan's bed before waking his brother and having him sit up. "You were coughing in your sleep again."

Alan's response to Scott's statement was to blow his nose loudly, making a loud _HONK_ sound. "Ugh, kill me now."

"Don't talk like that. It's just the flu." Scott said as he piled up a bunch of pillows up behind Alan so he'd be reclined instead of laid back flat on his back. "Let's put some vapor rub on your chest. Do you want to do it or do you want me to?"

"Mom used to do it for me." Alan sighed as deeply as he could before he gave his brother the puppy pout. Scott nodded before he grabbed the menthol scented rub and unbuttoned his brother's sleep shirt. He scooped some of the rub out of the container with the tips of his fingers before he began rubbing it into the hollow below his brother's throat. Once rubbed in, Scott buttoned Alan's sleep shirt back up. He was going to tell Alan about their brothers coming to visit, but Alan was back asleep within moments of having his positioning changed. He slept, breathing through his mouth and Scott smiled at his brother.

True, it wasn't ideal having to raise a couple of minors. Their mom and step-father both having passed away. But Scott wouldn't change anything in regards to his decision. He was now beginning to understand what it meant to be a parent and he felt like he was making it up to Alan. When Alan was younger, before their mom gained full custody of the youngest Tracy; the boy couldn't seem to get enough of his oldest brother. Alan followed Scott around like a lost puppy, hanging on his every word. It wasn't until Scott became interested in girls and privacy that he started alienating his baby brother. He or their other brothers were placed in charge of Alan when he was ten and they'd left him alone which caused him to be taken from their dad's custody. Scott had been responsible for Alan that day and he'd let not only his dad and brothers down, but he'd let Alan down. Scott would never forgive himself for letting down the one brother he'd vowed never to let down.

Looking closely at Alan, Scott put the back of his hand against his brother's forehead to check for fever. Alan felt about the same as he had earlier that morning. Deciding he'd go down to wash laundry, Scott pulled Alan's blankets back up to his neck before he left.

… … … … … … …

It took four days, three of which Scott called out because of Alan's fluctuating fever. Saturday, he had off. Four days of shuttling Mae either to Mrs. Perkins house or to Chaz's for his mom to watch the whirlwind before Alan got over the flu and had graduated from his bed upstairs to the couch downstairs. He was still decked out in his pajamas and dragging a blanket around like an oversized cape, but he could hold his head up for longer than a few minutes, had managed to eat most if not all his soup and had quit coughing so hard that he woke Scott clear down the hall.

When Alan's coughing had been bad enough to wake Scott, the older brother had done what their mom had always done and had taken his brother downstairs to sip on a bit of soda that Scott kept in the fridge. It was sprite, so it wasn't caffeinated – but it helped to cut down on the phlegm building up from post nasal drip which was the source of Alan's coughing problem. Once Alan's coughing settled, Scott redirected his efforts in hauling Alan back upstairs and tucking him back in with a fresh box of tissues, cough syrup, fever reducer and a cold compress for his forehead.

He couldn't be happier when Alan slept through the night on the fourth night, coughing subsided. Scott still woke periodically to check on Alan and Mae, running a cursory gaze around the house and checking doors and windows to be sure they were locked and making sure the burglary alarm was activated. That night, he slept like the dead after he did his walk around.

On the fourth day, Saturday – Alan sat on the couch completing homework while Mae was at the park with Chaz and his mom. Chaz had come over with his mom to drop off Alan's homework that the other boy gathered at the request of Scott and offered to take Mae out for ice cream so Alan could do his homework in peace and Scott could help Alan should he need it. The younger finished his homework in record time, having understood the assignments despite missing a few days of school. He watched a movie with Scott afterward and fell asleep against his brother's shoulder like old times.


	7. Surprise Visit

_**A/N: Here is another update to A Walk To Remember, this is an AU world - if you don't like don't read and please keep reviews to positive or constructive criticism. I won't tolerate disparaging reviews and will delete them if they're in any way negative. You have been warned.**_

* * *

Scott smiled as he greeted his brothers a week later. They'd called a few days prior, planned a trip out to see Scott, Alan and try to get to know Mae. She was over at Mrs. Perkins house across the street, having begged to go see the woman that was like a grandmother to her. Scott had taken a few hours off from work early.

"Hey Scooter, how's everything hanging?" John asked as he stepped through the threshold of their late mom and stepdad's house. He looked around and couldn't help but notice how things had changed. Just after the accident when they'd been staying at the house, dealing with the fallout of the fatalities and subsequent changes that'd been happening – John felt like the house was cold. Now it felt warm and welcoming.

"It's good." Scott said with an easy smile. He'd felt a lot less stress after getting a job that paid decently, having fallen into a routine with his brother and sister.

"Where's the sprout?" Virgil asked, noticing the time. Alan should have been home from school by now. "How's he doing?"

"Oh, he's got extracurricular activities. Been a busy boy. He's doing a lot better after his bout with the flu." Scott commented, seriously meaning that Alan was busier than busy. The teen hadn't been home except to eat, shower, sleep and change his clothes. Other than that, he practically lived at school.

"Extracurricular? Like what?" Gordon asked, wanting to know what was going on in his little brother's world.

At Scott's shrug, the other three merely gaped. It was unlike Scott to not be the busybody and need to know everything Alan did of every minute of every day. The brothers were sure that if it wasn't considered creepy, Scott would have how many breathes Alan took in a day pinned down to an exact science.

"Are you okay Scott?" Virgil asked in mock concern that Scott wasn't pressuring Alan to know what he was up to.

"I'm fine, I've just been so busy lately that I can't keep up with everything Alan's involved in. He's been keeping his grades up, been home not long before curfew and he's not been causing problems for neither me nor his teachers. He's been doing amazing as far as I can tell." Scott said with a simple look of ease.

"What kind of extracurricular activities is Alan involved in?" Gordon asked, truly curious. The brothers showed barely concealed shock when Scott shrugged again. "You don't know? Scooter, mom and Brandon are dead! Alan could be getting involved in god only knows and you don't seem to care."

"That's not true! Alan's stayed healthy until he came down with the flu, he's eating dinner with me and Mae, taking part in our Friday movie marathon nights and he's started smiling again. So, what if I don't know what kind of extracurricular activities he's involved in? He's happy, and that's all that matters to me."

"Then where is he? Really?" Virgil asked, wondering what his brother was thinking. Alan was the last son of the great Jeff Tracy.

"He's at the Lean Bean…it's a coffee shop that Alan and his band play at on occasions. He was planning to watch a group that have a gig tonight." Scott said, giving up at Virgil's anger.

"So why are you here and not there?" Virgil asked.

"Have you seen how old I am? The Lean Bean is mostly populated by kids Alan's age, I'd stick out like a sore thumb." Scott said.

"And when has that ever stopped you?" Gordon asked. "I know you're lying Scooter. Where is Alan?"

"I'm not lying…he is at the Lean Bean, but he's not watching another group." Scott said with a frown after being accused of lying.

Scott had only known Alan's agenda the day prior to the arrival of their other brothers when Scott was getting ready to wash some laundry. He'd retrieved Alan's laundry from the hamper in his brother's room and was checking pockets. He'd learned the hard way to check his kid brother's pockets after he'd unintentionally washed his brother's phone. Their dad had replacement plans for each phone and after their mom and Brandon died, Alan's cell phone was removed from the plan his mom and stepdad had and transferred to his dad's plan. He got to keep his old number and everything, the cell phone bill was just sent to their dad instead of to Brandon and Lucy Gregory.

When Scott was doing his pocket pilfering, he'd discovered a little square of paper. Unfolding it to see if it was of importance, Scott saw a schedule typed up. It was like an itinerary. Only the name "My Band" was written in bold ink and underlined several times. It was a performance schedule for the Lean Bean and Alan had it tucked into his pocket. Which reminded Scott that Alan was part of a band. It was an amateur band, but a band nonetheless.

Scott could deduce that Alan and his band was performing at the Lean Bean tonight and now he was glad that Mrs. Perkins had offered to baby sit. He wanted to see Alan performing since he'd heard Alan mention his band, but Scott had no idea the role Alan played. Alan had a couple guitars in his room and there was the piano in the den, but Alan never touched their mother's piano. He had vehemently told Virgil not to touch it after their mom died and he'd threatened Virgil with loss of limb if he ever touched their mother's piano without his permission. It didn't belong to them, it was their mother's.

"So, let's go and grab a coffee. I could use caffeine." Virgil said with an easygoing smile.

"Alan won't like that." Scott said, knowing that Alan would be infuriated to catch Scott and his other brothers loitering around and ruining his rep.

"So, we won't let him catch us." Gordon said, Cheshire grin firmly in place as he turned to go back to the car.

Scott sighed before grabbing the keys so he could lock the door. Mae was with Mrs. Perkins, Alan was out and Scott had the keys. He couldn't believe he was doing this.

"I can't believe we're doing this." Scott said with a shake of his head as he accepted the keys from John. "Do you guys mind if we stop at the store on the way back? I forgot that Alan used up the last of the milk this morning."

"No, that's fine." John said as he sat shotgun. Gordon and Virgil both sat silently in the back for a few minutes.

With that said, Scott turned over the engine, and backed out of the driveway. He drove through the town, heading in the direction he knew the Lean Bean to be located. When he reached the location, he found a parking place in the crowded lot. Scott led his brothers to the front door and he winced when he heard the bell overhead jingle. Holding the door for his brothers, Scott looked around the dark room. The crowd was clapping and a few people were whistling. Scott looked up to the stage, seeing Alan setting his guitar on the stand.

"Okay. You are in for a real treat. This is the first piano song we've done and my guitarist has been practicing this cover. Have at it Alan." Jared said into the microphone as Alan sat at the piano with a microphone set up.

Scott and his brothers found a seat, hidden in an alcove. They waited in silence until Alan began playing the opening chords. When Alan started singing was when they were blown away.

John and Virgil shared a look, shocked that Alan even sang. Gordon had to pick his jaw up off the floor. He never knew Alan could sing. Scott on the other hand, pressed his lips together in a firm line. The song he was singing was sad when put into context. Alan would always have to fight for what he wanted. It didn't matter if he was the youngest or not. He must live up to the standards and expectations of their father as well as survive in the shadows of his brothers.

Alan sang along, the music reaching a crescendo and peaking at the height of Alan's vocal range. When he finished singing, the crowd erupted in applause and Scott along with his brothers joined in with smiles. They hadn't known Alan could sing, let alone play the piano. They were shocked when at the end of Alan's ballad, the boy at the front of the group spoke again.

"I told you all you were in for a treat. Give it up for Alan!" Jared said before giving Alan a pat on the back. "Now let's get this party started!"

The older Tracy's looked at each other when Alan donned his guitar again and opened the song. Jared took over singing backup vocals and one of the other boys in the group played the drums. The brothers watched on in amusement as Alan got the crowd going, making them wave their hands. It was like a concert for the boys on stage and Scott wouldn't admit it to Alan's face, but he thought they did good. They weren't ready for the big stage, but they were good. They sang a lot of covers and had a few original songs, but the covers they sang weren't bad.

Before the show was over, Scott motioned to his other brothers that they needed to get out of there before Alan spotted them. He wouldn't hesitate to make a scene if he was found out by his brothers. They stood up and left during a cover of What Can I Say with Alan and a blonde girl trading vocals back and forth. The boys hesitated at the door, watching Alan flip his hair back from his forehead as he sang together with the girl. Alan wasn't playing the guitar this time, so he could raise a hand up and cover one ear while singing beside the girl.

When Scott ushered his brothers out the door, the song had just ended and the crowd in the coffee shop stood up to applaud the young performers. Scott pulled the keys from his pocket and turned the engine over as he waited for his brothers to fasten their seat belts. They hadn't been driving more than a couple minutes when Gordon spoke up.

"I have a question." Gordon asked, craning his neck to look at his brothers.

"Shoot." Scott replied as he drove towards the little market in town.

"Is Alan getting an ear ache?" Gordon asked as he recalled something Alan did on stage which puzzled him.

"No, he hasn't mentioned it at all. Why do you ask?" Scott inquired as he put on the left blinker and merged into turning traffic.

"Well, he was cupping his ear when he was singing." Gordon said, making the hypothetical lightbulb over Virgil's head pop on and shine brightly. Scott stopped at the market store and shut off the car before he exited the vehicle. Everybody got out to join Scott in the store.

"His ears aren't bothering him…singers cup their ears to hear themselves sing to check that they're on pitch. They do it especially if they can't hear themselves, perhaps because of music around them or other people singing with them. I do it all the time, if I'm around you bucket mouths or your shenanigans." Virgil said with a fond grin before he joined John, Scott and Gordon walking across the market parking lot.

"So, he was trying to hear himself sing?" Gordon asked still somewhat confused.

"Exactly, say for example that you were singing in the middle of a thunder storm and thunder rumbled, making it hard to hear yourself sing. You'd cup a hand over your ear or plug your ear with your finger, though I think it's best to simply cup your ear. You can amplify your voice for yourself so that you can hear if you make any mistakes or go too sharp." Virgil said as he slowed his pace to match those of his brothers.

"Hmm." Gordon hummed as he walked beside Scott when he grabbed a hand basket.

… … … … … … …

When the brothers got home, Scott was surprised to see the living room lights on. He knew he'd shut those off before leaving with his brothers to go check up on Alan. Scott sighed when he realized that Alan had beat him home.

"Is the Sprout home?" Gordon asked when he closed the back-driver's side door and walked up the stoop. Scott put the key in the lock and when he opened the door, they were shocked to hear Lucy's piano keys plunking in the den. Scott was anyway. He knew his mom played the piano, and understood that Alan had to have picked it up after spending time with her. It was how Virgil learned to play.

The brothers stepped in the door, and started when Scott held up his finger to silence anything anyone was gonna say. Scott motioned with his head towards the den and they all snuck over to peek in through the archway. Alan sat with his back to the door, fingers flying over the keys as if he'd been playing his whole life.

Alan wasn't playing anything recognizable, just playing around with the keys. But the ambiance of the room was sad, the song Alan was playing slow and methodical. Scott and the others just listened as Alan played. He played for a few more minutes before switching to a song that Scott knew was from one of their mom's favorite movies. It was the Titanic theme and Alan played it softly.

The brothers were blown away by Alan's ability to play the piano. They never knew Alan could play. Though knowing that their mom was a big fan of piano music, it wasn't surprising. All the boys knew how to play to some degree, Virgil more than the others. But now they could add Alan to the group of knowing piano enough to play decently.

Scott waited until Alan played the last note of the song before he walked in.

"You've been holding out on me, huh?" Scott asked as he went over to Alan and put his hands on his brother's shoulders, making him jump. "I remember you said you didn't know how to read sheet music."

"I can't." Alan said as he turned part way to glare at Scott. "And I wasn't reading sheet music."

"So how did you play?" Scott asked, making Alan turn fully around and his face drained of blood at seeing his brothers standing nearby.

"I…I play by ear." Alan said, shoulders slumping down. "I have the keys memorized."

"It was good Al…really, really good." Virgil said as he stepped away from the brothers gathered by the door to greet his brother.

"What are you guys doing here?" Alan asked, considering Virgil's honey burnt brown eyes and then looking back at his brothers in the doorway.

"We just decided to come spend a week or two with you guys." John said with a smile and shrugged. "Thought we'd surprise you."

Alan was left speechless that his brothers would show up. Not to say he didn't love his brothers, but now was a crappy time for them to show up. Alan had practices he had to make, costume prep work, staging and dress rehearsal. He wouldn't be home but for a few hours each day and he wouldn't be able to spend any time with his brothers until he was finished.

"Where's Mae?" Alan asked, looking around for his little sister. He knew Scott had to have been at work earlier that day. He wondered where she was.

"I dropped her off with Mrs. Perkins. Mae was asking to go see her and I figured we could spend time with these guys before we need to get Mae." Scott said, knowing that Mrs. Perkins had a huge soft spot not only for Alan but for Mae.

"I was going to start dinner." Alan said, his face blushing crimson at mentioning that it was his night to cook.

"You got everything?" Scott asked, knowing Alan planned on making spaghetti. "I knew the guys were coming, but I forgot to mention it to you. Sorry."

"Yeah, I noticed you got a lot more than usual." Alan went quiet for a few moments. "How long have you known they were coming to visit?"

"I knew last week. Dad is waiting on some updated equipment to come in and until it does, he had to shut down operations." Scott said. Alan gave an unamused huff of laughter before he stood to go to the kitchen.

"Good luck mentioning it to me last week, we both know I was too sick to really care." Alan said, remembering that when he wasn't sleeping he'd been coughing or sneezing and blowing his nose enough to fill a small boat with balled up tissues. He couldn't have cared if his hero from Nascar came up to him and asked him to join him for a race. He'd been too miserable last week.

"I know." Scott said softly. When Alan opened the kitchen door, he looked back at his brothers and shook his head before entering the kitchen.

… … … … … … …

Alan stood at the stove, keeping an eye on the spaghetti noodles so they didn't stick. He had the sauce and meat prepared and he had French bread in the oven, waiting to be coated in garlic butter. He hesitated for a moment, glancing over his shoulder at the closed kitchen door. He could hear Scott laughing with their brothers, giving John a ribbing for something he did or said.

Lightly tapping the spoon on the pan to knock off excess water, Alan laid the spoon in the spoon holder. He looked over his shoulder again, listening closely for any brothers preparing to enter the kitchen. When he didn't hear anything, he practiced some footwork for the play he had to take part in. He kept an ear open for any possible additions that may enter the kitchen and when he heard someone walking he quit practicing footwork and resumed his spot in front of the stove and not a moment too soon either.

The kitchen door opened and Gordon entered carrying an empty drinking glass. The door closed with a swish and Alan tried not to pay attention to his brother. It wasn't any secret that Gordon was kind of upset that Scott chose to stay with Alan and Mae until Alan graduated high school. He constantly snipped at Scott and Alan heard about it sometimes, especially when Gordon intentionally hit a nerve and made Scott mad.

Alan heard the automatic ice dispenser running, dropping ice cubes into Gordon's drinking glass before the trickle of water from the dispenser. Alan ignored Gordon in favor of paying attention to dinner.

"So, how's school going?" Gordon asked, walking over by Alan and leaning against the counter and crossing his feet at the ankles. Alan glanced to the side and took in his brother's profile. He didn't miss the minute tic of his brother's jaw which told the youngest that Gordon was miffed about something.

"It's fine. Keeping me busy." Alan said softly.

"Have you thought about early graduation?" Gordon asked, bringing up the tender subject that Gordon didn't like Scott being away from the island.

"I'm too young for that." Alan said, refusing to feed into Gordon's mood.

"There's always remote schooling." Gordon suggested, making Alan glare at him.

"I'm not leaving. I have friends here; my home is here." Alan said, his eyes narrowing in irritation. "I'm not going to a new school my sophomore year of high school."

"You know Scott's the adult of this house and if he decided he didn't want to be here, he could easily pack up everything and take both you and Mae back to the island." Gordon said, his own eyes narrowing at his brother's response.

"Lay off! I want to stay here, my home is here, not the island. I've never been there since it's been in dad's possession." Alan said, his profile telling Gordon that he was growing angry – not that Gordon cared now.

"You know you could have come out to visit any time, I mean airplanes **do** fly both ways." Gordon said tersely.

"Oh, don't give me that! You know the same could be said for all of you! Ever since I got taken from dad and given to mom, you guys have been nothing short of removed from my life! I can't remember a time where any of you came out to visit and I know for damn sure that mom sent you all an invite to her wedding with Brandon and she didn't even get an RSVP from you guys, her sons! Do you know how upset that made her? She was crying at her wedding when she should have been happy!" Alan retorted, turning fully from the stove to argue with Gordon.

"Maybe we didn't want to see her get married! I mean he wasn't our dad, why would we want to see her marry someone else?" Gordon said, his voice tight.

"And you think I did? I at least gave Brandon a chance and you know what? He was more of a father to me than my own was!" Alan growled. His voice was picking up in volume and it didn't escape his notice that the living room was awfully quiet now. "And what about me or Mae? I didn't get a birthday card from any of you, no visits, no gifts, nothing! None of you even seemed to care when Mae was born!"

"If she was dad's I might have." Gordon argued, it didn't matter that his voice was louder than Alan's.

"She's still your sister and I'm still your brother! What difference does it make if Mom had Mae with a different man? She might have had Mae with dad if he hadn't been so absorbed with his job!" Alan argued back.

"What is going on in here?!" Scott's voice boomed, making both younger brothers jump before their gazes landed on Scott who stood just in the door, Virgil and John peeking in behind their brother's frame.

"Nothing. I'm out of here." Alan thought enough to shut off the burner before he exited out the door that went into the garage. The door in the garage, that led outside slammed shut and suddenly it was quiet enough to hear a pin drop.

* * *

 _ **2nd A/N: So if you've reached this point, congratulations. I hope you're enjoying this story and please keep in mind that I'm a busy full time college student who is also working full time. I write when I'm able to so, my stories Rising From The Ashes and Never Look Back - Belonging tend to take a while because of the word count and the fact that I don't have a beta reader. I have to read and re-read my chapters and go over them with a fine tooth comb to find mistakes and I still don't always find them until after I post the chapter. In between work and school, I try to write, though sometimes I have to just read because I can't jump start my creative writing juices.**_

 _ **In the last posted chapter of Never Look Back - Belonging, I asked readers if they wanted to see updates to The Miserable or Our Baby's First. For the time being those will remain on hiatus because my schedule won't allow me to add to them, but when I finish school and any of the three stories I'm currently working on - rest assured you might see an update to one of those two stories, but it will be a few months.**_

 _ **On another note, yes I made Gordon a bit of a jerk in this chapter - very odd for him since other stories make him out to be a jokester without much of a temper. But this is an older brother that in my opinion is entitled to being a pig headed jerk part of the time. And yes I made Alan sing and play instruments, this is my story and I can make the characters do anything I want them to. You don't like, then don't read! You've been warned twice!**_

 _ **Reviews appreciated, flames are not.**_

 _ **Thanks!**_

 _ **Sad-Blue-Eyed-Angel 2010**_


	8. Worried Sick

_**A/N: This update came a little earlier than was originally planned. I'm posting this in honor of the late Bill Paxton who represented Jeff Tracy in the live action Thunderbirds film. It was my first introduction to the world of Thunderbirds and all things International Rescue and Tracy clan. I will be bringing Jeff into the story a few chapters from now, for now I'm just trying to establish the relationship for the brothers, Mae and the trials they face at present. Please keep in mind I'm a full time University student who also is working full time, some of these chapters have been pre-written when I have time to spare and I'm continually adding on when I get time.**_

 _ **Reviews appreciated and please don't be negative in your reviews. I will delete anything that is negative. You have been warned.**_

 _ **This chapter contains under age drinking**_

 _ **Sad-Blue-Eyed-Angel 2010**_

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Alan shut off his cell phone when it rang incessantly. He didn't want to be bothered, not until he had time to cool down. He didn't know where he was going at present, he just knew he needed to get away from Gordon, get away from his brothers and just think. He found himself walking toward Jared's. He knew the boy was probably having dinner with his parents, but it was also possible that his parents who were pretty affluent were out at some dinner party or Gala in the city.

He cut across the back of the property, following the fence posts until he found the section of electric fencing that wasn't engaged and he crawled between the barbed wire. He saw the lights were on in the mother in law's house that Jared stayed in. He ignored the dog barking up by the house. It was just Gertrude being the attack dog, all 5.5 pounds of Pomeranian fluff. Her bark really was worse than her bite.

Walking up to the little cabin on the edge of the property, Alan knocked on the door. He offered a sheepish smile to Jared when the boy opened the door to see who was knocking at almost seven in the evening. He was already dressed out in his pajamas and it didn't escape Alan's notice that Jared was hiding a bottle of beer behind the door.

"What's up Alan?" Jared asked, looking out to see if the boy was alone of if he brought anyone with him. When he didn't see anyone else he looked back at the boy in front of him. "Everything okay?"

"No, I'm sorry for dropping in unannounced. I'll just go." Alan said turning to leave, before Jared stopped him and offered to let him come in.

"Come in and have drink man, you look like you could use one." Jared said, pulling Alan in and closing the door.

Alan saw the box of pizza on the counter and the basketball game on the TV. Looks like Jared's parents were out again. Jared went to the mini fridge and pulled out a bottle of beer, twisting the top off and giving it to Alan. Alan went and joined Jared on the couch in the living room while his friend muted the game.

"What's up dude?" Jared asked as he took a bite of pizza before taking a drink of his beer.

"Nothing, just had an argument with one of my brothers." Alan said, his anger leaving him almost from the moment he entered his friends place. He took a drink of the beer and allowed himself to relax. He was still mad with Gordon, but he wanted to forget it.

"Tell me about it." Jared said as he stood to go retrieve a slice of pizza for Alan. When he returned, he handed the small plate to his friend and sat back down. "Couldn't have been that bad."

"You have no idea." Alan said as he took a bite of the pizza despite not having much of an appetite.

"It wasn't Scott, was it?" Jared asked knowing the oldest brother that was guardian over Alan and Mae while they were still minors.

"No, though he was pretty mad by the time Gordon and I quit arguing." Alan said, taking another drink from his beer.

"So, it was you and Gordon arguing? What about?" Jared asked, taking notice that Alan was nearly finished with his first beer.

"It was everything. Me and Mae making Scott stay here, my schooling and refusal to move, my mom remarrying to Brandon, you name it." Alan said, getting up to toss the empty bottle of beer in the trash. "Do you mind?"

Jared shrugged. He didn't mind if Alan had another beer or another slice of pizza. His older brother got him the beer because he occasionally liked to come hang out at Jared's little place and have a cold one.

Alan retrieved another beer, popping the lid and tossing it in the trash before going back over to the couch to sit and talk with Jared.

… … … … … … …

"What were you thinking Gordon? You know that mentioning mom and Brandon to Alan is a sore spot!" Scott said, he was mad at Gordon. He couldn't believe how stupid he could be on occasion.

Scott and Gordon had been arguing since Alan left, Virgil and John siding with Scott because of principal. Alan didn't want to leave and Scott wasn't going to make him. The oldest brother stormed out of the kitchen after calling Alan for the twentieth time and growling when it cut straight to voicemail.

"Damn it!" Scott said as he didn't bother to leave a message. Alan was obviously mad enough to shut off his phone. Right now, Virgil and John were having words with Gordon about his actions and the things he said while Scott tried to reach Alan. He was going on nine o'clock and Alan had been gone since six-thirty. Scott was growing worried. He knew Alan was upset when he left, but he just wanted to know where he was.

"Have you found him yet?" Virgil's soft voice broke the quiet of the living room where Scott was.

"No, I was just getting ready to call one of his friend's houses. I've already called Mrs. Perkins and she hasn't seen him." Scott said before looking through his contacts list and dialing Chaz's place. Chaz and his mom usually watched Mae when Scott needed a baby sitter and Mrs. Perkins wasn't available.

The call was answered after three rings and it was the voice of Chaz that greeted him.

"Hello?"

"Chaz, it's Scott." The oldest brother hoped that Alan had gone to Chaz's. The boy was welcomed there like a second son same as Mae was like a daughter. "Is Alan there?"

"No, I haven't seen him." Chaz said, as he lapsed into silence. "I haven't seen him since earlier this evening."

"I know, you guys were at the Lean Bean this evening." Scott said, revealing that he knew where they'd been.

"Yeah, Alan left when we all decided to head home. I haven't seen him since." Chaz said, voice unsure. "Didn't he make it home? He said he was headed straight there."

"Yeah, he made it home, but Alan and Gordon had an argument and Alan left and that was almost two hours ago, I haven't seen him since." Scott said, growing uneasy about his brother's whereabouts. "Is your mom there?"

"Yes, hold on let me go get her." Chaz laid the phone down and there was murmuring in the background. Chaz's mom picked up the phone then.

"Hello, Scott?" Rebecca asked as she looked at her son, he looked worried to hear that Alan was missing.

… … … … … … …

Jared wrestled Alan back into the living room from outside. Alan was in no fit state to return home. He'd had a few too many beers and couldn't form a coherent sentence let alone walk home. He only had three himself, but he'd lost count of how many Alan had. The blonde was slurring his sentences and kept falling every time he tried to stand up.

"Okay, I think you've had enough." Jared said, pulling out the sleeper couch and making a bed for Alan. "Here, have some water, you're gonna need it."

If it wasn't so sad, Jared might've laughed when Alan slurred that he wanted another beer.

"No, it's time for bed." Jared said, forcing Alan to lay down and continually pushing the boy back down each time he tried to get back up. "Go to sleep!"

Alan gave up the fight after a few minutes and fell asleep after the sixth time trying to get up. Jared stuck around for a few minutes, picking up the empty bottles and throwing them away. He put the left-over pizza in the fridge, lingering near Alan before feeling it was safe enough to go to bed himself. He turned out the lights, seeing the time was eleven-forty-five. He didn't think to look at his phone, missing the multiple texts and missed calls from Chaz and their other friends asking if he knew where Alan was.

Certainly, didn't think to check or for that matter turn on Alan's phone to see that he had about twenty missed calls and over fifty text messages from all his brothers. Alan's phone was in the front pocket of his jeans which were laying in a heap on the living room floor of Jared's place. Jared went to his room and laid down, falling asleep immediately.

… … … … … … …

Scott tried Alan's cell phone again, he'd lost count how many times he'd called his brother. He was past worried. He was frantic now. It was almost three in the morning and he couldn't sleep. The others had gone to bed not long after midnight, growing tired with the time change and the flight.

He got Alan's voice mail again and he sighed before he spoke.

"Alan, I know you're angry but please just give me a call and let me know that you're at least okay. It's three in the morning and I haven't seen you nor heard from you since you walked out earlier. I've called Mrs. Perkins and Chaz and none of them have heard from you. If I haven't heard from you by later today, I'm calling the police. Please, I love you. You're my baby brother, I'm not mad at you. Just call me or send me a text, let me know you're okay." Scott said, ending the message regrettably. He didn't feel any better. He'd feel better after Alan called to let them know he was okay.

"Scott, come on. Let's go to bed." John said having woken up hearing his brother pacing downstairs.

"I let him down again John." Scott said, worry making him sick to his stomach.

"No, you didn't…he's fine. You'll see." John said, taking Scott's phone and putting it in the pocket of his sleep pants. "Gordon let him down, not you."

John pushed Scott up the stairs to his room and forced his older brother to lay down. He left after Scott fell into a fitful sleep, returning to the guest room that John and Virgil were sharing. Gordon got the guest room their dad had when the accident occurred. It was his punishment for the time being. Nobody wanted to room with Gordon when he was being a jerk to their little brother. Laying back down in the bed he had to share with Virgil, the younger mumbled when he was woken up by John.

"Alan?" Virgil asked sleepily.

"Still missing." John whispered back before trying earnestly to go back to sleep. He could lie and say he wasn't worried, but he knew he was. It was no better than being woken up by Scott when the accident that killed their mom and stepfather occurred. He'd never forget that night.

 _'The chiming was loud, shattering the quiet of the night in the station in orbit currently over Tracy Island. It drew John from his bunk, making the blond yawn and grumble at being woken up for a pleasure call. He checked his watch, seeing it was two in the morning. He answered the call, squinting his eye at the brightness of the screen as the connection was established and Scott's face appeared._

 _"Scott, what's going on?" John rubbed a hand over one eye as he let his eyes adjust to the light of the screen. "Everything okay?"_

 _Scott looked at his younger brother, face pale, eyes desolate and hopeless. It unnerved John to see his older brother look so shook up._

 _"Um…there's been an accident." Scott said, his face growing more pale if that was possible._

 _"What kind of accident?" John asked, thinking back to see if any of his brothers had gone to the mainland or if their dad had flown out for anything. It didn't even occur to him that something might have happened with Alan or their mom._

 _"I just got off the phone with a surgeon at the hospital. Mom, Brandon, Alan and Mae were in a car accident." Scott said, his eyes looking more and more sad the longer he spoke._

 _"Oh, my god, are they okay?" John asked, dread filling the pit of his stomach._

 _"No, mom and Brandon…they didn't make it." Scott said, his eyes looking lost._

 _"What about the kids?" John asked, hoping they had been spared._

 _"Alan's in surgery and Mae…she's okay. Couple of bumps and bruises but nothing broken." Scott said, wishing he could turn back time. "They lost Alan a time or two at the scene, but they got him back."_

 _"What happened?" John asked, feeling sick to his stomach._

 _"I don't know, but Alan was bleeding pretty bad from what I was told. Has a head wound and some pressure from hitting his head against the glass. Several cuts on his hands and arms and a broken leg. He needed a unit of blood before being rushed into surgery." Scott said, his face draining of blood. "But, mom and Brandon have died and I was contacted because mom had me, Brandon and Alan listed as emergency contacts. I'm going to the mainland."_

 _"Not without us you're not." John said._

 _"I need to leave now. Not later." Scott argued as he prepared to disconnect the call._

 _"Scott, it will take an hour for dad to come get me and all of us to go to the hospital. It'll take three for you to get to the mainland and another two hours to get to Kansas. Another won't make much of a difference." John argued before he went over Scott's head and hit the alert button which brought the whole family to the office where Scott was. When they all got there, they were ready to go but were taken by surprise to see it was Scott and not their dad that sounded the alarm._

 _Before anyone even had a chance to speak, John announced that someone was going to come get him before Scott left to go to the mainland. Questioning eyes looked towards Scott and he explained to their family why he was required to go to Kansas. In the end, it was good that Scott had everyone there with him._

 _When they'd made it to the hospital, it was nerve wracking waiting for the doctor to come talk to them about Alan and Mae's conditions. Alan was out of surgery and was in his own room in trauma. Mae was in pediatrics with a few other children and she was cognizant but not talking. Alan was still unconscious from the blood loss and surgery._

 _Scott had asked if they could see Alan and the doctor allowed all of them in to see the boy. When they went in, the found Alan was sleeping. He was lying on his back, leg propped up on a pillow and sleeping in a reclined position with his arms down by his sides. Ace bandage was wrapped around Alan's head securing some gauze over one of Alan's eyes and a neck brace was keeping Alan's head steady. John stopped in the door, while Scott was the first to reach his baby brother._

 _"Oh Alan…" Scott whispered._

It was a few hours later that John woke up. He pried his heavy eyes open and yawned. Sitting up, John noticed the time. It was half past ten in the morning and Virgil was awake. The side Virgil claimed was empty and cold, telling the older brother that he'd slept through Virgil's flip flopping. Dragging himself from the borrowed bed, John went down the hall to the rest room. It wasn't until he was leaving the bathroom that he remembered that he'd taken Scott's phone. He dug into his pocket and pulled out his brother's confiscated phone.

There were no missed calls and now John was officially worried. Alan should have called them by now. He'd heard it all when he and Gordon had a row. He was angry with Alan for leaving but he was angrier at Gordon for picking a fight. This wasn't what was supposed to happen when they came to visit. If he'd known that Gordon was gonna start something, he'd have made sure that Gordon stayed at home with their dad.

John pocketed his brother's phone, returning to the guest room and grabbing his phone off charge and checking it for messages. Still nothing.

"Alan, where are you?" John whispered to himself before he went downstairs.

… … … … … … …

Alan came awake smacking his lips and groaning. He felt like he got hit by a truck. Make that a semi carrying cotton. He opened his eyes and groaned at the sunlight streaming in through the window.

"So, you're finally awake?"

Alan lifted his head and peeked over the top of the couch and saw Chaz with Jared. Chaz looked mad. Blinking slowly at his friends, Alan looked around the room. He was trying to figure out where he was. When he looked back to his friends; Chaz looked angrier than he had been a few seconds ago, Chaz stood up and stalked over to Alan.

"Do you know how worried my mom and I were? How worried your brothers are? Scott called my house twice. Once a little after nine and again at a quarter to midnight last night to ask me and my mom if we'd seen you. He's out with my mom and your brothers looking for you before they call the cops. You need to call them and let them know you're okay." Chaz said as he planted his hands on his hips glaring down at Alan.

"Huh?" Alan asked, not understanding what the problem was. He went over to visit Jared and hang out.

"Alan, so help me God. Get up off your ass and call your brother! Scott is worried sick about you!" Chaz growled as he grabbed Alan's jeans off the floor and fished his friend's cell phone from the front pocket. He turned on the phone and showed Alan the number of missed calls. Alan didn't seem to comprehend the severity of his actions. "Jared, how much did he have last night?"

"Beats me, I stopped counting after his eighth one." Jared said, back pedaling when Chaz whirled around to glare venomously at him. "What?"

"You let him have that many beers? Are you crazy?!" Chaz squawked. "Are you trying to kill him?! He's a kid!"

"I know that, that's why you almost drank yourself into a stupor when Jenny broke up with you." Jared said as he crossed his arms. "We're all kids, we're all underage – legally none of us should be drinking, but we do. And Alan did. I'm sorry he got wasted, but I quit counting after his eighth one because when I tried to stop him he started arguing with me. You can't win an argument with someone who is drunk."

Chaz growled at Jared's reasoning before he went over to Alan and hefted his friend up from the couch. "You are taking a shower and sobering up. I'll call your brother and let him know that I found you but you're going down with me if I get in trouble." Chaz grabbed Alan's discarded jeans and tossed them unceremoniously into the bathroom before he all but shoved Alan in too and closing the door.

"Is it really that bad?" Jared asked.

"Don't ask okay?" Chaz replied as he slumped down when he heard the shower start. "Please tell me you have coffee. We need to fix Alan some breakfast and give him some Tylenol and make him absorb some caffeine."

"I've got just the stuff." Jared said before he gestured for Chaz to join him in the kitchen. "You get started on breakfast, I'll take the trash out."

Chaz sighed as he put the bacon on a griddle and mixing pancake mix, he started scrambling eggs, determined to force Alan to sober up before he went back home. He waited until the first pancake was cooking before he called Scott on his cell phone.

The phone rang shortly before it was answered.

"Alan?" Scott asked, worry filling his voice.

"No Scott, it's Chaz." Chaz said, hearing the shower continue.

"Have you found him yet?" Scott sounded worried even to Chaz and he hadn't known him but a few weeks. He'd met Scott at Lucy and Brandon's funeral, but it wasn't an appropriate time for introductions.

"Yeah, he crashed out at a friend's place last night. I would have called sooner, but I just made it here and Alan was still asleep when I got here." Chaz said as he flipped a pancake.

"Can I talk to him?" Scott asked, voice relieved now that Alan was found.

"Um…he's in the shower right now. I can have him call you back when he gets out or after breakfast if you'd like." Chaz said, hearing the shower shut off.

"Have him call me back after he's eaten. I just want to talk to him, not yell at him." Scott said.

"I'll make sure he calls you back." Chaz said, feeling better now. He hated being worried about Alan, barely slept all night because of Alan's disappearance.

"Thank you, Chaz." Scott said before he hung up the call. Chaz heaved a sigh, now that he knew Scott knew Alan was located.

"I'm not going home." Alan said, making Chaz nearly jump out of his skin.

"Alan, don't sneak up on me like that!" Chaz said, whirling around to glare at his friend. "Nobody says you have to right now, but after breakfast you need to call Scott and let him know you're okay. I didn't tell him where you're at, but I did tell him you spent the night at a friend's place. He doesn't know that you were drinking either, so I'd suggest you become a little soberer in case he insists on seeing you."

Chaz grabbed a couple of mugs from Jared's cupboard, pouring all three of them a steaming mug of dark brew. Chaz returned his attention to making breakfast before dishing it up for all of them, glancing at the door when it opened. Jared walked in, slinking over to the mug that'd been poured for him and took a sip. Alan sat down at the small nook, eating what was put on his plate after swallowing a couple of Tylenol.

By the time breakfast was finished, Alan was speaking a little clearer than he had been and it was a relief to Chaz that Alan wasn't too badly hungover. It didn't stop him from walking behind Alan when the latter was rinsing his plate at the sink and slapping him in the back of the head.

"Ouch, what was that for?" Alan turned around and gave Chaz a soulful pout.

"For being a dumbass, need I say more?" Chaz replied before he left the kitchen to go grab Alan's phone. He pulled up the contacts listing before showing it to Alan. "Call your brother."

"Fine." Alan said before swiping his phone from Chaz and dialing his brother back.


	9. An Emotional Powder Keg That Goes Boom

Alan exhaled nervously as he listened to the dial tone. He was hesitant to speak with Scott, especially after leaving the way he had the night previous. He hadn't done that in a long time, not since getting grounded by his mom for failing a history test. Last time though he didn't get plastered. This time he did.

"Hello?" Scott answered on the second ring and Alan was hoping Scott wouldn't.

"Hi Scott." Alan said, voice small in the shame he felt for walking out the night before.

"Thank God Alan, you had me so worried." Scott said, not at all angry with his brother for leaving when he couldn't handle the stress. "Where did you go?"

"I walked out to Jared's, spent the night when I realized how late it was." Alan said, offering a small fib. He didn't want to tell Scott that he'd been imbibing.

"Why didn't you call me to let me know? I'd have come out to give you a ride." Scott asked, curious to why his brother didn't call. He had on other occasions.

"I didn't want to come home, I was still too mad and I figured it'd be best if I was away until my temper cooled." Alan said, giving a half truth. He had been incredibly angry the night before and it was no secret that Alan had a scary temper when his buttons were pushed.

"Why didn't you at least call me to let me know where you were? I'd have given you space if I'd have known you weren't ready to come home yet. You had me so worried." Scott said, being unnaturally open with his baby brother.

"To be honest, I shut off my phone when it wouldn't quit ringing and I forgot I turned it off. I didn't want to answer the phone when I was mad, we both know that I'd have said something I'd later regret." Alan said truthfully. The last time Alan had taken a call when his temper was flaring, was after another Gordon wheedling incident and Alan had yelled at John, not realizing it was the older star gazer that was calling and had told him off before hanging up. John refused to talk to Alan for about two weeks.

"Just promise me that you'll at least try not to do that again. I don't like not knowing where you're at. I was ready to call the cops to file a missing person's report. That could have CPS on my ass faster than flies are attracted to honey and you and Mae would be taken from me. There'd be no guarantees either that the two of you would be kept together. I don't want you two taken from me nor do I want the two of you to grow up without the other. You've got to be more responsible than you were last night. I'm not mad at you, I can understand that you needed to clear your head, but please don't let it happen again." Scott asked, voice pleading with Alan to not only not get mad but to please see where Scott was coming from.

It was a low blow to bring up CPS, considering it'd been Child Protective Services that had taken Alan from their dad and them and placed him permanently with their mom. But it was necessary. Scott didn't want his brother taken from him again and he didn't want to lose the building relationship he was forming with his baby sister either. So as low as it was, it had to be said.

"I promise Scott." Alan said, honestly trying to be amiable with his brother. It wasn't Scott's fault either, Gordon had struck a nerve and it'd made Alan mad.

"I'll let you be for now, but just give me a call when you're ready to come home. I'm going over to get Mae, she spent the night with Mrs. Perkins. Later, I want us all to sit down together as a family and have dinner. No fighting, no verbal barbs, just dinner." Scott said, trying to make Alan understand that he wasn't mad, nor did he want the other brothers to get mad at Alan for leaving when he couldn't handle the pressure any longer.

"Okay, I'll let you know when I'm ready to come home." Alan said as he prepared to hang up with Scott.

"I love you Alan, I'm glad you're okay." Scott said, voice soft as he relayed how much Alan meant to him. It made Alan feel a knot of emotion build in his throat before he spoke up.

"Love you too Scott, and I'm sorry for scaring you." Alan murmured, blushing as he saw Chaz and Jared watching him.

The brothers hung up after that, Alan pocketing his cell phone.

… … … … … … …

Scott exhaled, placing a hand over his heart which was thrumming with relief. He was feeling much better now that he'd heard from his brother. Before the call, he'd feared that something bad had happened to Alan. Perhaps he'd run away, been kidnapped, hit by a car and left for dead, you name it he'd imagined it. Upon opening his eyes, Scott was met with three other gazes that were looking at him curiously.

"Was that him?" John asked, not needing to further specify who it was that 'him' had been.

"Yeah, he's out at a friend's place. Said his name was Jared." Scott said, seeing his other brothers looking relieved at the news. He spared at glance in Gordon's direction and he felt untrusting of his brother's relief. "Now that we know where Alan is, I'd like to lay down a few ground rules."

Scott had adopted a tone which his brothers had all learned to recognize as Scott's authoritative voice. When motioned to sit down, all the brothers sat down and Scott looked at each one of them.

"Considering what happened last night, I'd like to remind you all – this includes you Gordon. Alan is not what is keeping me here. If I recall hearing you say last night Gordon, I'm the adult in this house and I could pack up everything and move us all back to the island. That won't be happening. It wasn't Alan who begged me to stay, I was the one that made that decision to remain here until Alan's graduation." Scott said, looking at his brothers with a stern gaze. "None of you are to bring up remote schooling to Alan, moving to the island or him being the reason we're still here. We're here because I say so. If you've got a problem with that, then you take it up with me, you don't go and attack Alan for my decisions."

Scott looked from Virgil to John and finally to Gordon. He was waiting for someone to flip their lid and he was anticipating Gordon who'd been the original person that had rocked the boat. And he hadn't been far off from his assumptions that it'd be Gordon that'd have a bone to pick with him…again.

"What was that Gordon?" Scott asked, seeing Gordon shake his head with something mumbled under his breath. "I didn't catch what you said, do you have a problem?"

"I said, I don't understand why you're bending over backwards for his whims. He's sixteen and he's got you wrapped around his little finger. What happened to us? Your other family?" Gordon asked, displaying uncharacteristic anger.

"How many times must I say that just because I am here with Alan and Mae, doesn't mean that you'll never see me again?" Scott asked, growing irritated with Gordon and his immature demands that Scott pack up their little brother and sister and move them halfway around the world to suit their needs as a family and as International Rescue. "I'm not going to be the bad guy that takes Alan away from his friends and the life he has here. As much as I hate to say it, this is his home, not on the island. He's lived here and in New York, we let Alan be taken from us by child protective services and this is all he's known for the last six years"

"But you're the adult here and you're staying here to keep him happy! What about us? Doesn't our happiness matter to you?" Gordon asked sharply, his copper eyebrows narrowing in frustration.

"Of course, your happiness matters to me, but I've let Alan down once before and I don't intend to let it happen again! Why can't you see it from my perspective? Do you think I wanted to have custody of my own baby brother and sister? Do you think I wanted to leave you guys behind while I play happy families here, in a place I'm as unfamiliar with as I am with operating Thunderbird Five? Do you think I wanted to pay for our mother and step-father's funerals, burial costs, the mortgage or various other bills? What about the expenses to get Alan's teeth straight? He needs braces in case you haven't noticed! Do you think I wanted any of this? I don't! I wish the states hadn't given me custody of Alan or Mae! I wish they'd given it to dad! He's a dad! He understands the kinds of things I don't!" Scott said, voice shaking with tension. His fists were balled tightly and vibrating with indignant anger. His eyes were misted over as he allowed his anger to get the best of him. "You don't know a damn thing about how I'm feeling! Not only do I have to worry over things I never thought I'd deal with in my whole life, but I thought you of all people could understand that I'm not able to uproot the two kids that have been placed in my care and **my** care alone!"

Like it was timed, Scott's cell phone rang. He glanced at the face of his cell phone, seeing a picture of Alan and Scott at the roller skating rink. The brothers had taken Mae out to practice skating, going with Chaz and his mom to make it a bit of a party. Scott had his arm draped over Alan's shoulder and Alan was mirroring his brother's stance – smirking at the camera when Rebecca took a picture of them. He noticed the time and it was surprising that it'd already been two hours since he'd last talked to Alan. Needing an escape from the Spanish Inquisition, namely his brothers – Scott answered the call. He spoke with Alan for a few moments before he stood up and retrieved his keys from the hook by the garage door.

"I'm on my way, stay on the line with me and give me directions please." Scott said as he glared in Gordon's direction and motioned to his brothers to stay with a single palm facing them. ' _Save it!'_ He couldn't be around any of them right now. He was too infuriated with Gordon. Heading into the garage, Scott climbed into the vehicle and turned over the engine. He opened the garage door and backed out onto the street before driving off in the direction that Alan said to go.

… … … … … … …

Scott felt tired after driving for a few minutes. Not tired enough to fall asleep, but tired like he'd been fighting an unending battle. He had Alan on speaker phone while he drove, following the directions Alan gave until he was driving down paved road on the outskirts of town. It was only two miles away from their house, so Scott knew it wasn't far away.

He pulled to a stop next to a little cabin. It was one of the manufactured cabins, made for a small family or someone that lived alone. The door opened and Alan walked out with the boy that Scott recognized as the one that introduced Alan last night at the Lean Bean. Alan accepted a high five from Jared before he turned to get in the car.

Scott remained quiet as Alan fastened his seat belt before backing up and turning the car around so he could drive back the way he came. Alan seemed to sense his brother's frustration and he apologized.

"I'm sorry for walking out on you all last night. I shouldn't have done…" Alan started but was cut off by Scott.

"It's not you I'm mad at Al." Scott said as he drove back into town. He contemplated going to town. He couldn't face his brothers barely twenty minutes after pouring out his frustrations to them all. He chose not to speak further on the matter, He reached across and turned up the volume on the radio. He needed to fill the void where speech wasn't possible without making either brother angry all over again.

A song came on the radio, and made Scott think. It seemed coincidental that this song would come on. Scott had a million reasons for not returning to the island, but the only actual reason was right here in the car with him. It wasn't that Scott didn't want to go back to the island, he really did. But he felt like staying was the key to making Alan open again. His brother had been guarded since Scott moved in to take care of them. A prime example of Alan's distrust of Scott was his secret that he played music.

If Scott were being honest and not the big brother that wanted to pick and tease his brother for liking something so, unnatural to him. He'd have to tell Alan how proud he was of him. When the song came to an end, Scott decided and pulled in to a burger joint that Alan had turned him onto.

"What're we doing here Scott?" Alan asked, curious about his brother's decision to stop.

"I'm not ready to go home yet, I just figured we could go in and share a boat of fries and get a couple milkshakes." Scott said, telling his brother without telling him that he was too frustrated to go home and deal with their brothers.

"Okay." Alan said, not even bothering to argue. If his brother wanted a milkshake after the stunt Alan pulled the night before, Alan could humor him.

Scott and Alan went in, ordering a large boat of fries and two medium milkshakes. Chocolate and strawberry. When they were given their order, the brothers went to sit in a corner booth. Sitting across from the other, they dug into the fries.

"Want to tell me what happened?" Alan asked, knowing his brother well enough to know that Scott who normally never craved sugar, liked milkshakes when he was stressed out. Call it comfort food or what you want, but Alan knew Scott was upset just by the milkshake and boat of fries.

"Gordon." Scott said, telling Alan once more without telling him what had him so riled up.

"Why is he so mad at me Scott?" Alan asked, his blue eyes looking all of six instead of sixteen. "I mean, we never used to fight like we did last night. He's like a different person, one I don't know anymore."

Scott didn't know what to say to comfort his brother. He didn't know what was up with Gordon either. The aquanaut was never this bad when Scott went into the Air Force, nor when John and Virgil went away to college. It was almost like he was jealous of the one on one time Scott and Alan were getting.

And just like that, the epiphany came to him about why Gordon was acting unruly towards Alan and Mae. Prior to the funerals, Gordon seemed like his old self. In the days leading up to everyone's imminent return to the island sans Scott, was roughly around the time that Gordon started acting out. Scott couldn't help but to scrub his hands down the front of his face as he came to the realization that Gordon wasn't mad or acting like a brat without a reason. He was jealous.

"I think I know why now." Scott said, peeking through his fingers at Alan who had paused in dunking a fry in his chocolate milkshake. His little brother had a single blonde eyebrow raised in question before popping the chocolate milkshake covered French fry into his mouth to chew slowly. "Gordon's jealous of you and Mae."

Alan was so shocked at the prospect that his own immediate older brother was jealous of not only him but the precocious four-year-old Mae, that he began to choke. Coughing in attempt to dislodge the fry that went down the wrong way, Alan was forced by Scott to raise his arms above his head, while the older thumped him on the back to get the fry out of his airway. When he did quit choking, Scott made him take a sip of water from the glass that one of the counter clerks brought over when the younger started to choke.

Alan waited a beat or two after his choking incident to speak and when he did, he looked at his brother with confusion. "Why is he jealous?"

"I don't know, I wish I did." Scott said as he reclaimed his seat across from Alan and returning his attention to his milkshake.

"I don't know what he'd be jealous over. We had the same mom and we lost her, he's at least got a dad that loves him. I lost the only dad that gave a damn about me." Alan said, shoulders slumping.

"Dad loves you too." Scott said in hopes of stopping Alan's thoughts before they became wild. He didn't bother correcting Alan's language. He'd been a little more lenient when it was just them. He did correct Alan if he cussed around Mae.

"He's got a funny way of showing it. All I ever get are blank birthday cards with a fifty-dollar bill in it. Not calls, no surprise visits, no gifts that randomly show up just because. Brandon at least tried to include me. When he and mom started dating, he was the one that suggested we all go when they'd go on a date to the movies and that we could see something age appropriate. Brandon didn't care that he had some bratty ten-year-old following him and his then romantic interest around. He'd stopped by on my birthday with a cupcake and surprised me with tickets to a Wichita Thunder's game. Got me and him a matching jersey, took me to the game and we had a blast. Every year for my birthday, even after Mae was born, he'd made it a tradition for us to go to a sporting event. Mom encouraged it and I always had so much fun." Alan said, telling Scott how much like a dad Brandon was to him. "My own dad never once took me to a game or a racing event. Didn't matter if I asked to go, dad was always too busy or just wasn't interested."

Scott understood where Alan was coming from sadly. He'd seen it firsthand after their mom and dad divorced how Alan had become like a chore, being foisted off on either him, John, Virgil or a nanny. Alan rarely got to see their dad even when he lived with them. There'd been countless times that their dad had to be reminded to put a fifty in a birthday card for Alan before it got put in the outgoing box. Scott was unaware that their dad wasn't writing anything in the cards. He'd always been the one to remind their dad of Alan's up and coming birthday.

"I just can't understand what Gordon could be jealous over. I lost both my parents in that accident, got to keep Mae and got you but…he at least has a dad." Alan said, looking miles away in his thoughts. "As far as I'm concerned, I'm an orphan. Both Mae and I are.

It was that very thought that made Scott have another epiphany. Gordon was jealous over Scott being here and not there. It had to be that. And to add another thing to his imposed to do list, Scott would need to try to get his dad more involved in Alan and Mae's lives. Scott wasn't going to allow Alan to be kept on the sidelines. Not anymore. Alan was still their dad's son and whether their dad liked it or not, Mae was his daughter now. Maybe not in the eyes of the law, but she was sister to each of their dad's sons so that made her his daughter by Scott's standards and it was time to get their dad involved in child-rearing again. No more of this, "I'll call you on your next birthday" crap. Sure, their dad had paid lots in child support for Alan, but that didn't mean he could remain removed from Alan or Mae's lives. He was Alan's father and as God as his witness, he wasn't going to let their dad walk away from Alan, not again. Not like last time.

* * *

 _ **A/N: So here you have it, Scott's feeling towards having his hand forced into becoming legal guardian to his younger siblings as well as his determination to convince his dad to get involved again. Sorry if Scott seemed O/C, but then he's been under a lot of stress and that can lead to blowing up with unreasonable actions or things said.**_

 _ **I'm still working on Rising From The Ashes, I've been busy with maintaining my grades in anatomy and physiology. Hope to get something posted soon, don't know when though. This adulting thing really sucks, all this responsibility to maintain grades and GPA's.**_

 _ **Sad-Blue-Eyed-Angel 2010**_


	10. Can't Win For Losing

John and Virgil stood over Gordon, both glaring at him with rare frustration and disgust over his actions. John who had the scariest temper between him and Virgil was really trying his hardest not to lose it. Virgil on the other hand had been delivering a strong tongue lashing to Gordon and John was loathe to interrupt.

"Since Alan's come back into our lives, you've been nothing short of a spoiled child who isn't getting his way! How could you even think that picking a fight with Alan was appropriate? You know he's still too fragile from the accident! He shouldn't have to deal with your added pressure!" Virgil stopped long enough to take a breath and that gave Gordon time enough to speak.

"I'm sorry okay? It wasn't my intention to make Alan mad! I didn't set out to cause a fight! I just went in to refill my glass and when I saw Alan, a teenage boy shouldn't look so domesticated! I couldn't stand the thought that he's here and not back at home where he belongs with us! Sure, I feel bad for him, I mean I lost a mom when he did too! But he should have come home with us, not stay here, away from us and only talking to us when we think to pick up the phone and give him a ring."

"Gordon that's where you're wrong, Alan doesn't belong on the island. He's just a kid, he deserves to have a life, with friends, school and a stable home with someone to greet him with dinner and a hug if he needs it. We can't offer that to him. Dad's busy with work as the day is long, we're running all over the world with IR and that's not healthy to take Alan away from all he's known and isolate him on the island. We were all at least adults when we made the decision to move to the island, or adult enough. It wasn't long after Alan was taken from us that we moved to the island. Alan's just a kid. He deserves to live the life of a kid while he's still able to." John said, azure eyes glowing with emotion as he tried to make his younger brother understand exactly why Scott chose to stay stateside with Alan and Mae, why it wasn't fair to force Alan to move to the island.

"Gordon, when Scott and Alan get back you are going to apologize to Alan for all you said to him last night. Then there will be no further mentions of Alan coming to the island or remote schooling. Leave Alan be." Virgil said, order promising there would be consequences without verbally issuing the threat.

"Fine." Gordon said. He wasn't happy about it, but he'd keep his promise to John and Virgil.

"Fine." John said before he stood up to go work on dinner. They'd had to throw out the noodles the night prior after they had become a congealed glob in the pan. John was going to start work on the spaghetti again. Virgil joined him in the kitchen, jaw tight with frustration.

"Hey, why don't you go play on mom's piano. I'm sure Alan wouldn't mind." John suggested, knowing that Virgil needed to unwind, but without his art set the next best way would be to play on the piano.

"No, I'm not touching mom's piano after I tried last time." Virgil said recalling just after their mom died. Jeff and Scott were bringing Alan home from the hospital and had left John, Gordon and Virgil at the house to keep an eye on Mae. Virgil started playing twinkle little star for Mae when she wouldn't stop crying and Alan had come in not long after. He'd hobbled in, crutches squeaking with the weight as Alan made his way to the living room.

Alan had said in no uncertain terms that Virgil would have broken hands if he ever touched their mom's piano again without his permission. Virgil who'd simply been playing to soothe Mae hadn't known what to say. Alan was mad and distraught. Tears had been coursing silently down his cheeks before he turned and left the den as quickly as he could and a few minutes passed before a door slamming upstairs signified that Alan wanted to be left alone.

"How about I text Scott and ask him to ask Alan's permission. It couldn't hurt." John said as he was texting Scott before he'd finished his sentence. Virgil was ready to argue with his brother but the replying text put a smile on John's face. "Scott said Alan gave his permission and he said Alan appreciated it but you don't need his permission to play it."

Virgil was tempted to text Scott and say he'd changed his mind, but he decided against it.

"Thanks John." Virgil said before he left the kitchen to go play on their mom's piano.

… … … … … … …

Scott and Alan walked side by side through the cemetery, biding their time before returning to their home. They stopped, Alan kneeling first, soon followed by Scott in front of their mother's headstone. Scott stayed quiet as his brother placed the flowers they'd picked up on the grass at the base of the stone. Alan looked at the inlaid photograph of his mom and couldn't help but to smile. Despite his mom being gone, he still thought she looked beautiful. Alan shifted slightly so that he glanced at Brandon's headstone which lay beside their mom's.

"Hey mom, Brandon. It's me again, I brought Scott to say hi." Alan said softly, his smile sad.

"Hi you two." Scott said, feeling out of place talking to a couple of headstones. He hadn't planned on coming out here, but Alan asked if they could. He hadn't come out the week prior because of being sick and he'd made it a point to come visit once a week.

"Scott's been staying with us. I know I told you two that Scott has custody of us, but I just wanted to let you know that we're okay. He's doing a great job filling the shoes you left behind." Alan said, reaching over and picking up the guitar pick that he'd left for Brandon. It'd been his stepfather who encouraged Alan to take up lessons and had bought him his first guitar. He was twelve when he learned to play, practicing with a guitar that was almost bigger than he was. Alan leaned the lone guitar pick back against the headstone after cleaning mud and a couple blades of grass from the plastic triangle. "Brandon, I just wanted to let you know that I'm still keeping my promise to you. I won't let you down."

Scott was curious by the mentions of this promise, he didn't know what promise Alan could be talking about. He didn't ask though. Alan would tell him when he was ready.

He zoned out whilst Alan talked to the headstones, completely at ease with talking to structures that couldn't talk back. He didn't know how much time had passed before he watched Alan kiss his fingertips and put his hands on their mom's headstone. Scott felt awkward about copying the gesture, but he did it also feeling better about giving his mom some form of affection after not being able to since she left following the divorce.

The brothers stood up and Alan brushed away a couple fallen tears before sucking in a deep breath and moving ahead of Scott. They both walked back to the vehicle, silently contemplating thoughts on their mind. Alan and Scott had discussed at the burger place why Gordon would be jealous of Alan and Mae and the only thing they could think of was that Gordon was jealous because Alan and Mae got Scott all to themselves for the next two years. That was the only logical explanation to Gordon's behavior.

"Let's go home." Scott said, mentally preparing himself for the barrage that was sure to come upon walking in the door.

"Yeah, probably won't be very pretty." Alan mumbled under his breath. He glanced at his watch, shocked to discover the whole day was practically over. Alan had a homework assignment due the following day at school and he had to finish that before the night was over. The day before, Saturday had been filled with an all-day practice for the school drama production followed by the performance at the Lean Bean. They didn't have practice scheduled today, but they did tomorrow. Alan was hesitant to ask but once they'd begun driving Alan turned to his brother and guardian. "Am I grounded?"

Scott had considered it, grounding his brother but he couldn't fault Alan for escaping the argument the only way he knew how. He could have gone to his room, but he'd have still been in too close a proximity for Gordon to not want to continue their argument. He shook his head before seeing Alan's questioning gaze.

"No Alan, but I'm issuing a warning. You ever do that again, walk out without at least telling me where you're going or sending me a text to let me know you're okay, you will be grounded. Am I understood?" Scott glanced to the side to see his words had the desired effect on Alan.

"Yes Scott." Alan replied, wisely keeping any other comments or otherwise to himself.

They continued driving in silence, Scott turning on the blinker that would take them down their street towards the house. Scott followed the speed limit signs, slowing down where necessary before he spotted the driveway that he'd grown familiar with. Pressing a button on the steering wheel, Scott watched as the garage door raised to allow Scott to drive in. Once in, Scott turned off the ignition and the brothers sat in silence for a few moments.

"Can you run over to Mrs. Perkins and pick up Mae while I go in and deal with Gordon and the guys?" Scott asked, giving Alan a chance to keep away from Gordon for a few more minutes.

"Yeah." Alan said before he climbed out of the car and shut the door before he went to the door.

"Oh, and Alan?" Scott paused before opening the door that led into the kitchen.

"Yes?" Alan asked as he also paused at the door that led outside.

"If you and Mae come in and you hear arguing, I want you to take Mae upstairs to your room. I'll come get you afterwards if necessary." Scott said, waiting for the nod of agreement from Alan. "Don't forget to look both ways before crossing the street."

"Yes Scott." Alan said with a roll of his eyes.

… … … … … … …

The argument that Scott was expecting never happened. Gordon refused the theory that he was jealous of his little brother and sister wholeheartedly. He didn't disguise his irritation, it was plastered across his face in silent indignation. Alan and Mae returned after a few minutes. Alan was carrying a plate of cookies covered with saran wrap and a four-year-old little girl was clinging to Alan tightly. Virgil remained in silence before he stood to go join Alan and Mae in the kitchen.

"Hey, how're things going?" Virgil asked as he closed the kitchen door and walked in towards his brother and sister.

"They're okay." Alan replied softly.

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry on behalf of Gordon's actions last night." Virgil said as he watched Alan grab two cookies from the plate. Alan set each cookie on a paper napkin folded into quarters. Alan grabbed two small drinking glasses from the cupboard and filled them with milk before going to sit in the breakfast nook. Mae refused to detach from Alan, remaining bound to his side like a mini octopus. "Mind if I sit with you two?"

"It's a free country." Alan replied before he broke his cookie in half with one hand. Mae stared solemnly at her milk and cookie. "Mae, eat your cookie."

Virgil watched Alan's behavior and saw how closely attached Mae was to him. He could understand the way she was acting was because of Alan's running away the night previous. The way Mae was acting was reminiscent to how she had acted after the accident.

"Alan?" Virgil asked after observing his brother's actions for a few moments.

"What?" Alan replied sullenly. "Mae, are you going to eat your cookie or not? If you don't want it, I'll give it to Virgil."

Virgil was about to protest when Mae murmured that he could have her cookie and cup of milk. He accepted the sweet treat when Alan pushed it across the table top to him. 'Thank you."

"Mom and Brandon hated it when food went to waste around here. If either of us got something and changed our minds or didn't want it, we had to either save it for later or give it to someone else." Alan said as he handed half of his cookie to Mae and pushed his cup over so they could share. Virgil watched as the younger kids shared without a qualm. He took a bite of the cookie and smiled at the flavor. They were reminiscent to his mom's cookies. He hadn't had them in a long time, but he remembered exactly how they tasted the last time he'd had them.

"I really liked the song you played on the piano last night." Virgil said, hoping to break the ice.

"Thanks, I was just goofing off though. It was a song I'd heard in class a few weeks back." Alan said, voice remaining quiet.

"You know we're not mad at you. Mad at Gordon maybe, but not you." Virgil said as he ate the rest of the cookie he'd been given before drinking the milk in one go. "You had me, John and Scott worried. Scott especially."

"I know, he talked to me about it already." Alan said before he reached across to pluck Mae from his side and lifting her up and over his lap before putting her on the floor. "Why don't you go change out of your dress and into your play clothes?"

"I don't want to." Mae said, crossing her arms and looking at Alan with a look of defiance. Virgil had to cover his mouth and look away so as not to laugh. If it wasn't for the brown eyes, Mae would be Alan's double. She was already for the most part, except she had their mother's brown eyes. Seeing Mae with the same look of defiance Alan would get when he was her age made Virgil want to coo at the toddler about how cute she looked even if she was disobeying a friendly suggestion from her big brother.

"Mae, not now…please. Go get changed and I'll start on dinner." Alan said as he prepared to stand. Mae huffed and stamped her foot, but she ran off nonetheless leaving Virgil and Alan alone together.

"John's taken care of that already." Virgil offered quietly and watched as Alan sank back into his chair. "Sorry, John wanted to make it up to you by taking care of dinner preparation tonight. As soon as Mae comes back down and Scott is done talking to Gordon, I think we should be able to eat dinner."

"You do not want to go out there." John said as he entered the kitchen and thrust his thumb back toward living room. "Scott and Gordon are having a pretty heated discussion."

"Great." Alan murmured under his breath.

"Alan…I'm sorry for not stepping in before it got worse last night." John said as he sat in the nook beside Virgil. Both older boys looked down at their younger brother who had his gaze planted firmly on the table top. "Alan?"

"I know." Alan said before he slid from the seat and went up the stairs. The house was older, had a set of servant stairs in the kitchen that went up, right by Alan's room. John and Virgil both watched him go at a loss for how to help their little brother out of his funk. They knew Alan was still upset over his and Gordon's argument the night prior, but they didn't know quite how to help him.

"I'll go talk to him." John said, closely mirroring Alan and sliding from the nook before he made his way up the servant staircase. He walked up to the door, noticing how the door was closed but the light was on inside. John knocked softly, waiting for a reply. When he didn't get one, John opened Alan's door and peeked in at his brother.

Alan was laying on his bed, flat on his back. He was tossing a baseball up and catching it before tossing it back up. John's eyes tracked the ball, up and down like a yo-yo. He waited for Alan to respond to his presence and when he didn't get one, John cleared his throat.

"What do you want John?" Alan asked, eyes not leaving the ball he was still tossing up and holding his hand slightly over his forehead to catch the ball before repeating the tossing.

"Will you just talk to me?" John asked before going to sit on the foot of Alan's bed. He looked around his little brother's room, taking in the simplicity of it. There were pictures all over the room, that Mae had drawn. John continued looking around before seeing the frame lying face down on the night stand. He looked at Alan before he walked over to pick up the frame and look at it. He frowned and his shoulders dropped when he saw the picture of their family together before the divorce. His mom looked happy in the picture, but John knew that was a façade. "Alan?"

"What?" Alan asked as he quit with the baseball to sit up and look at John. He leveled a stern gaze at John before shook his head. "What do you want?"

"I wanted to apologize for last night. It wasn't fair of us to keep quiet when we knew Gordon was in the wrong. Can you forgive us?" John asked as he set the frame upright before walking over to sit in Alan's computer chair. "If we'd known that Gordon was cruising for a fight, we'd have stopped him sooner than we had."

"It doesn't matter." Alan said in argument as he kept his gaze from his brother.

"It does matter. This is your home and Gordon had no right to come in here and accuse you of wrong doing." John said before he offered Alan a sad smile. "I guess a visit just wasn't a good idea. Yeah?"

Alan went quiet, refusing to speak for the longest time. John had grown hopeless of the situation and he stood up to go tell Virgil that he'd failed at changing the direction of their visit. When he reached the door, Alan stopped him.

"John, I'm sorry. I guess I'm still sore over the argument last night." Alan said, making John turn his way. "Stay?"

John looked back at his little brother and his lips lifted from the frown into a smile before he went over to sit in his vacated seat beside Alan's bed.

"I'm sorry, it's not fair to take my frustration at Gordon out on you and Virgil." Alan murmured softly. John quietly observed his younger brother, before going over to hug him.

"It's okay kiddo. I understand." John said before he smiled at his brother. "Why don't you come on downstairs with me and we'll sit and have dinner?"

"Gordon doesn't want to be in the same room as me." Alan said with a solemn shake of his head.

"Not true Al. Gordon's been the one who's been most excited about the prospect of coming to visit." John said. "You can ask Virgil to know I'm not lying."

"Yeah, well if he was genuinely excited to see me I don't think he'd intentionally try to pick a fight with me." Alan said before he knocked John's hands away and stormed from the room, assumingly downstairs to face the so-called music.

"I can't win for losing." John said with a sigh as he stood to follow Alan downstairs.

* * *

 ** _A/N: So here is the latest update to the story, I'm working on a new update for Rising From The Ashes. Please forgive the delay, I've been busy with school and just received news that my cousin that's been fighting lung cancer could fight no longer. Between work, school and coping with so many deaths (friend that was murdered, cousin losing fight with cancer) I've felt numb inside and not up to writing much of anything._**

 ** _In an attempt to spread the word, if you or anyone you know is facing domestic violence/abuse you can text loveis or 22522 for the domestic violence hotline. You can learn more on the /Marykay website._**

 ** _Hope you enjoyed this latest update and I won't tolerate disparaging comments on my stories. To the Guest that commented on my story Whatever Will Be Will Be - I realize that some university professors don't care when a student comes in, but I didn't go to your university. The one I went to DID count the time you arrived. I DID have a professor that told me and my class that if we couldn't be bothered with being on time, we might as well not show up at all because he wouldn't give us extra time to finish our finals and since our finals were usually an hour to an hour in a half long, it'd be pointless to come in if we were later than 20 minutes late. As for the unrealistic grading scale, not all universities are the same. The aforementioned professor I had DID make our final well over half our total grade. My professor told our straight A student in front of the class that if he failed the final he'd fail the class. Not all universities are the same. There is a reason this is posted on a fan-FICTION site. It's fiction, everything is unrealistic in fiction. If you don't like my stories, DON'T READ THEM! I'm not going to stop posting them._**

 ** _Sad-Blue-Eyed-Angel 2010_**


	11. Kids Will Be Kids

_**A/N: Wow! I'm on a roll tonight two stories received updates...yes it's past midnight where I'm at and I desperately need more than two hours of sleep.**_

 _ **This is an A/U and I'm just issuing a warning now because I was working on it earlier this evening - I will be describing the play production how I remember it when I saw the original Broadway production - though this is like four or five chapters down the road. I had originally been listening to the soundtrack when I initially started writing this story. Anyway enough rambling...**_

 _ **Since this is an A/U, aspects have been changed to match my story line. I won't tolerate disparaging remarks or reviews. If you feel you need to offer a negative review, it MUST be in the form of constructive criticism...not something like "this story is horrendous" which I've had for some stories. I will delete them. You've been warned. NO FLAMES!**_

 _ **Sad-Blue-Eyed-Angel 2010**_

* * *

John was sitting up at the table three days later having coffee while he read the newspaper. He'd just seen Alan off to school. Alan walked to school since Scott had gone in for work at 5 that morning. He didn't know much about the town they were visiting, but he was interested none the less.

Glancing through the advertisements, John was surprised to see an ad for a high school drama production that'd be going on the following weekend.

"Aida, A Timeless Love Story…I'll have to show this to Virgil." John mused aloud to himself.

"You'll have to show what to Virgil?" Virgil asked as he trudged into the kitchen and sat across from John, eyes closed as if he were still asleep. John didn't doubt that Virgil had sleepwalked his way to the kitchen, it happened often enough when they were children that John wasn't too concerned.

"There's a school play taking place on Saturday at Alan's school. Thought you might be interested in going since you have a love for the arts." John said as he stood up to go get a mug of coffee. He had to suppress chuckles when he glimpsed at Virgil. His brother tried to dress despite being half asleep and had failed to pull his pant legs down over his socks and he'd buttoned his shirt wrong. His hair was stuck up in various angles and directions.

"Here you go Virgil." John said as he wafted the mug under his brother's nose and watched the middle brother follow the direction of the mug without opening his eyes. He was moving his head in an almost hypnotic like state and John had to physically grab Virgil's hand and place the hot mug in his hands.

"Mm…coffee." Virgil murmured as his eyelids lifted. The coffee worked like magic in waking his brother and before John knew it, Virgil was carrying on a full conversation with him. "So, what was this about a school play?"

"Alan's school is putting on a school play next weekend and I thought I'd let you know. You were always interested in the arts and you love going to plays." John said before he folded the paper in half before moving it across to his brother to look at.

"Aida…huh? Never heard of it." Virgil said before taking a sip from his mug and looking over the advertisement further. "Looks interesting though, want to go with me?"

"Sure, maybe we can convince Scott, Alan and Gordon to go too. Just some fun that's not biting each other's heads off. "John said. He went silent for a few moments giving him just enough time to hear tiny feet thumping down the stairs. John looked up at the kitchen door and saw Mae. She was rubbing her eyes and her hair was askew. "Morning Mae."

Mae didn't say anything, just walked out to the living room leaving John and Virgil to watch her go. John and Virgil exchanged glances but didn't say anything to the toddler. John got up after a few minutes and went about preparing Mae a bowl of cereal. He wrinkled his nose at the choice of cereal. He couldn't believe Scott would let the girl have it. It seemed to be something akin to fruit loops, though the name was an off brand. He'd make a note to talk to Scott about the toddler's breakfast choices but prepared the bowl anyway.

John grabbed a kiddie spoon from the dish drainer and submerged it in the cereal and milk before he took it to the living room. There he found Mae sitting as close as she could possibly sit to the TV and John remembered fondly finding Alan in a similar position when he was Mae's age. He set the bowl on the coffee table before grasping Mae under the arms and pulling her backward.

"Don't sit so close, you'll hurt your eyes." John said before he crouching down to Mae's level and gave her the bowl of cereal he'd prepared for her. "Here you go munchkin."

"I don't want these." Mae mumbled under her breath, taking John off guard.

"But this is your cereal, I found it in the cupboard." John said fully confused at Mae's refusal.

"This Allie's, I don't like them." Mae said, her brown eyes huge and sad. She handed the bowl back to John and the older was at a loss. He didn't want her to go hungry, but he didn't see any other type of breakfast foods she could eat.

"Okay." John said, going to the kitchen with the bowl and finding Gordon sitting at the table with Virgil. Gordon liked sugary breakfasts, so John went and placed the bowl in front of his younger brother.

"Hey thanks." Gordon said before he dug in.

"Didn't you prepare that for Mae?" Virgil asked, taken by surprise that John couldn't get her to eat.

"Yeah, but she didn't want it. Said it's Alan's." John said before he, Gordon and Virgil startled when the door to the garage opened. Alan stalked in and dropped his backpack with a disgruntled sigh. "Alan what are you doing back?"

John glanced at the clock and found Alan had only been gone for a half hour.

"Today's a professional learning day, they cancelled classes. Wish I'd have known before walking out there." Alan grumbled before he went to the cupboard to grab a cup so he could get a drink. "None of my teachers reminded us, so I wasn't the only one to show up and see a sign posted on the locked doors."

Virgil and John exchanged glances as Alan drank his glass of water before he emptied the remaining fluid in the sink.

"I'm gonna go lay down." Alan didn't say much more but he stopped when he saw Gordon eating the cereal. "Has Mae eaten?"

"No…I uh tried to get her to eat and she said the cereal I gave her wasn't hers but yours. So, I gave it to Gordon so it wouldn't go to waste." John said, taking pause when he saw his baby brother roll his eyes in exasperation.

"We both eat the same cereal. She's just picky some days." Alan said with a sigh before he went out to the living room. When he returned, he had Mae hitched up on his hip and he fixed her some toast with jam on it. "You know better than to lie about not liking our cereal."

Mae didn't say anything to Alan, just ate her toast in silence before she went to lay her head-on Alan's shoulder. "Want to go lay down upstairs?"

Mae nodded and Alan carried her back upstairs with him, leaving his three older brothers to awkwardly sit around the table.

"Well, that was an interesting start to the morning. So, you were saying about that drama production?" Virgil said, swiftly changing the subject.

… … … … … … …

Gordon scratched at the back of his head, biting his lip as he stood before Alan's closed bedroom door. With the younger home for the rest of the day, John and Virgil insisted he go and apologize to Alan; and hang out with him. Be a brother, not a bully.

Preparing himself for backlash from his little brother, Gordon knocked on the door and waited for a reply. When he didn't get one, Gordon's brow wrinkled slightly before he knocked again. He waited a beat or two before he opened Alan's bedroom door and peeked in to see Alan and Mae both asleep. Mae was huddled up under Alan's arm and reminded Gordon of a tiny octopus. Alan was lying on his side, one arm draped over Mae and both buried beneath Alan's blankets.

Gordon paused for a few minutes, soaking in the scene in front of him. He made sure to keep his steps light as he made his way across the room and pulled the blankets up to Alan and Mae's shoulders. He smiled to himself at how innocent his brother and sister looked in their sleep. Without meaning to, Gordon reached out and lightly brushed Alan's bangs from his forehead before moving to tuck longer albeit similar shade of blonde hair behind Mae's ear.

He turned to leave the room and he glanced around Alan's room, taking in the many drawings made by the four-year-old tucked into bed. He stopped by the door and glanced at Alan's tack board, looking at a drawing made primarily with blue crayon. Instead of the typical picture of a child lined up beside their parents, this picture depicted their mom and stepdad with angel wings hovering by the giant orange and yellow sun. The real heart jerking part was the tall dark haired figure holding the hand of the tiny blonde who held the hand of a slightly taller blond. All the faces were smiling and Gordon found himself smiling at the backwards S. Mae was still in daycare, so she wasn't aware that there was a right or wrong way to write the letter S. She wrote out Scot, Me, Alley.

Obviously, she wasn't an expert of spelling quite yet and Gordon found it endearing. Mae wasn't aware that Scott had two T's in the end of his name nor was she aware that to spell her given nickname for Alan was Allie not Alley. He glanced over his shoulder and was beginning to find why Alan and Scott had grown so attached to the tyke. He was slowly but surely growing attached too.

"Sleep well you two." Gordon whispered aloud in the room before he left and pulled the door shut with a soft click. Both occupants of the room remained asleep, unaware that anyone had come in and seen them at their most vulnerable.

… … … … … … …

When Alan and Mae woke up from their impromptu nap, they both wandered downstairs. More so Alan since Mae insisted on being carried. The two youths went down to the living room where John, Virgil and Gordon were lounging around.

"Hey, you two are finally awake." John said as he spotted his younger sleepy siblings.

"Yeah, I guess I needed the sleep." Alan said through a monster yawn. Mae was blinking sleep heavy eyes around and rubbing occasionally at her eyes.

"Want some lunch?" Virgil asked, hearing the replying growl from his brother's stomach. He heard a corresponding one from Mae as well and chuckled at the dual nod from them. "Go on and have a seat, I'll fix you two a sandwich."

"P&J." Mae mumbled from Alan's shoulder.

"What?" Virgil was curious at what his sister said.

"She wants a peanut butter and jelly. Use the strawberry jam in the fridge, she'll be unhappy if you use grape." Alan advised.

"Sure thing, anything you prefer yourself Al?" Virgil asked before he opened the kitchen door.

"Anything besides PB&J. I ate enough of those while Scott was learning to cook." Alan said, making his brothers snicker. Scott wasn't known for his cooking skills, but in the time that he'd been guardian over Alan and Mae, his abilities had extended further from burning water, grilled cheese sandwiches and himself. He was a decent cook now, Alan had taken time to teach him a little bit. Now he could make pot roast and it tasted better than Alan's attempts.

Virgil humored Alan and made him a bologna sandwich before he set the respective plates in front of his brother and sister. Both youngsters ate silently, but they smiled when Gordon poured a couple glasses of milk to wash down the sandwiches and brought them to the living room where the youngest two were sitting.

"Thanks Gordon." Alan said softly as he finished his sandwich and drained his glass of milk in one go. Alan glanced at the time and jumped up. "Oh God! I'm late"

"Late for what?" John asked as he watched Alan hurry to the living room. "Alan?"

"Why didn't you guys wake me up? I'm late for school!" Alan had obviously forgotten that it was a professional learning day. He came back into the kitchen looking for his backpack when Virgil stopped him.

"Alan, stop. You went to school earlier and came right back. Class got cancelled today." Virgil said, getting in Alan's way to slow him down. "Settle down, you've got the rest of the day to relax."

Alan deflated at the news, having forgotten that he had in fact come home from school when he'd discovered classes had been cancelled. "I forgot."

"Obviously." Gordon remarked, making Alan glower at him. Virgil stepped into Alan's line of sight, cutting off the view to Gordon.

"Alan, just hang out with us." Virgil pleaded, making Alan sooth his ruffled feathers.

"Fine." Alan replied before he glanced at his watch. "I need to leave in a little bit though. I've got p- something to do. Test to study for."

Virgil and John both quirked an eyebrow in question while Gordon rolled his eyes.

"What do you guys want to do?" Alan asked.

"Do you have anything in mind?" John asked. The brothers watched as Alan went over and picked up Mae, hitching her up onto his hip.

"What do you want to do princess?" Alan asked the girl, schooling his features when she adopted a thinking face.

"Dolls." Mae said making Alan nod with a chagrined look on his face.

"Mae, honey we're not playing dolls all day. Do you want to go to the park or to the roller rink?" Alan said, suggesting possible things they could do without sitting inside all day playing with Mae's dolls. Alan humored her, playing dolls with the toddler but he couldn't see any of their brothers doing the same. Scott didn't, or if he did he kept it hush-hush.

"Ice cream." Mae said simply. Alan rolled his eyes. Dolls and ice cream, two of Mae's favorite past times.

"Maybe we'll grab an ice cream. How about we go to the park?" Alan asked before he watched his baby sister's eyes light up with excitement.

"Yes!" Mae squealed making Alan smile for the first time that day.

"Well alright then." Alan said before looking back at his brothers. "You guys want to go to the park with us?"

"Sure, let's make it a picnic. Scott won't be off for a few hours and we can have a late lunch." John said speaking for his two younger brothers.

"I guess that'd be okay." Gordon said with a shrug. He wasn't entirely keen on going to the park to watch the toddler play in the sandbox, but he'd go if it meant working on the damaged relationship with his brother.

"Well, it's settled then." Virgil said with a clap of his hands.

… … … … … … …

Alan and Gordon lay elbow to elbow on the large picnic blanket, Gordon was giving off the façade of dozing in the warm spring sun, while Alan was propped up on his elbows and was watching Mae play with the other kids on the slide. The brothers remained silent as they stuck to their own thoughts, but it was broken by Gordon.

"This is nice." Gordon murmured under his breath.

"What is?" Alan asked as he watched Mae wait eagerly in line to go down the slide. He glanced away for a second to look at his older brother.

"This, being able to relax. Doing nothing. Not wondering if the tranquility is about to be disrupted." Gordon had barely explained his reasoning before a shrill cry from the slide made both brothers jerk up in surprise. Gordon only just had understood that Mae fell or was pushed from the slide when Alan was on his feet and racing over to their sister. Gordon despite his insecurities with accepting Mae as any relation to him was close behind Alan.

"Mae! What's the matter?" Alan asked as he quickly dropped to his knees beside his baby sister. He ran a visual over his sister to look for owies but couldn't find anything visibly hurt. "Mae?"

"He pushed me!" Mae sobbed as she pointed to a boy around Mae's age at the top of the slide waiting impatiently for his turn to go. Alan growled at the injustice and had to be restrained by Gordon who was thinking with a clear head. It'd be a very unfair fight for a fifteen-year-old to pick a fight with a five-year-old. Gordon urged Alan to get a grip on his temper before it got them in trouble. After much coaxing, Gordon got Alan to stand down and hurry away with their baby sister safely ensconced in Alan's comforting grasp.

They went back to the picnic blanket and Alan sat down with Mae in his lap. Mae was sniffling and hiccupping still and Alan just barely restrained himself from going and calling out the kid for laying hands on a girl, his sister no less.

"Are you hurt anywhere sweetie?" Alan asked as he rolled up the pant legs of Mae's overalls to inspect her knees. When he didn't see anything, he checked her hands and elbows but couldn't find a scratch. "Mae?"

The toddler sniffled before she pointed to the side of her head and back a bit. Alan readjusted Mae on his lap and separated Mae's hair to look at her head and found a graze of the smallest kind cutting into her hairline and hidden directly behind her ear.

"Aw, I found your owie." Alan said before he grabbed the backpack he'd filled with various bits and bobs before he came out with some antiseptic. "This is gonna sting a bit."

Mae bit her lip and closed her eyes before Gordon interrupted.

"Do you want me to do it? You can hold Mae so she doesn't squirm and I can apply it to the graze." Gordon offered as he shifted so he was on his knees. He threw his arms out for balance and he knee walked over to Alan. Gordon accepted the gauze square with the antiseptic and he made sure Alan had a good grip on the toddler before Gordon followed Alan's previous action and separated Mae's hair. "Okay…"

Gordon hesitated in applying the antiseptic to the toddler's head but he got her attention and started imitating cartoon characters to distract her.

Alan was laughing along with Mae's giggles at Gordon's almost perfect impression of Shaggy and Scooby. John and Virgil chose that moment that Gordon copied the Scooby laugh to approach and they joined in the laughter at hearing Gordon's impressions.

"We've got to go away to get ice cream more often." Virgil said between chuckles. When the laughter subsided, John and Virgil handed over their spoils but couldn't contain their confusion over Mae's tears. "What happened?"

"Mae was pushed from the slide. Some boy couldn't wait his turn and he pushed her out of the way." Alan growled, a few explicit words eking out under his breathe.

"Watch your language Sprout." John corrected, not wanting an impressionable four-year-old to begin using bad words. "Which boy was it?"

"Khaki shorts, blue t-shirt. Brown hair." Gordon described as he continued in his efforts to keep the toddler from crying. He had begun hiding his face behind his hands and making goofy faces each time he hid. It was working slowly to absolve Mae's tears.

"I'll be right back." Virgil said, handing the sundae bowl down to Gordon for Mae, while John held the cones the brothers had agreed on getting.

Alan, John, Gordon and Mae watched the gentle middle son walk over to a couple of older women sitting on a bench watching the kids on the slide.

… … … … … … …

Virgil offered a smile at the three women sitting on the bench. One of them was rocking a sleeping infant in her arms while another was reading a book in between glances at the slide to check on her child. The third one was stoically staring ahead at the slide almost as if in deep thought.

"Hi." Virgil said as he came to a stop in front of them, though not directly in front of them. He didn't want to hinder their ability to keep an eye on their children.

An array of scattered hellos echoed around the small group before their combined gazes were focused on the dazzling smile Virgil was intentionally presenting.

"Yes?" The more stoic mother asked as she gave Virgil a moment of her time.

"I was wondering if any of you knew who was the mother of the dark-haired boy with the blue t-shirt." Virgil asked cautiously.

"He's mine…why?" The mousy woman with her nose in a book commented as she looked up at Virgil with an accusatory glint to her eye.

"I just wanted to let you know that he pushed my baby sister from the slide and she got hurt. I was hoping if I brought her over, that you could see about him apologizing to her." Virgil asked, a gentle smile firmly in place so he could keep her at ease. He didn't want to make her mad.

"Damn it Jacob." The woman cursed before she placed a bookmark in to mark her place before she stood up. "I'm so sorry. Unfortunately, this isn't the first time he's done this."

"It's quite alright, little kids are going to be little kids." Virgil said before he walked over to the picnic blanket. He picked up Mae, smiling reassuringly at her as he set her empty ice cream dish to the side. "Come on kiddo."

The woman had already separated from Virgil prior to his retrieval of Mae. She brought the boy over, her grip tight and the boy carrying a remorseful look about his face.

"I won't tolerate this kind of behavior anymore Jacob! Do we need to not go to the park anymore?" The woman asked. Virgil wouldn't lie if asked, but he felt equal parts sorry for the boy when he saw his eyes well with tears over the threat of never going to the park again and equal parts satisfaction that the boy had an understanding that there would be consequences if he continued any bad behavior. "Do you understand me Jacob?"

"Yes, mommy!" Jacob sniveled with a quavering bottom lip.

"Now apologize and in the future, wait your turn! I will be telling your father about this!" The woman hissed, making the boy try to pull away.

"I'm sorry!" Jacob sobbed to Mae. The little girl had a vice like grip around Virgil's neck, refusing to be put down anywhere near Jacob.

"What are you sorry for?" The mom asked sharply.

"I'm sorry for pushing you off the slide!" Jacob wailed.

"Mae, do you accept Jacob's apology?" Virgil asked softly. Mae didn't speak but she nodded silently. Virgil tried to get her to speak but every attempt he made failed.

"It's okay, I know she's accepted his apology, I'm so sorry for the trouble my son caused." The woman said before offering her hand out to shake Virgil's hand.

"No, it's alright, like I said earlier, kids will be kids. Accidents happen. I'm sure Jacob didn't mean to push Mae from the slide." Virgil said before the woman hauled her son away.


	12. If Wishes Were Horses

_**A/N: Hey ya'll, here's an update and a quick message that I am still working on some knew additions to the latest stories. I'd really appreciate the encouragement from ya'll. I've slipped into a depression, so many people I know are losing loved ones left and right and just yesterday one of my eleven year old dogs crossed the rainbow bridge and he's now out of pain. As I write this message, tears are flowing because he was my fur-baby. He and his sister were adopted barely two weeks before my grandfather who was more like a father passed away and they kept me going. Now I am left with a ragged hole in my heart. I wasn't even there to say goodbye, I'm away at college and was informed of his passing by my mom who found him by the front door where he fell asleep and just never woke up. I want my boy back and I just want to die knowing he's gone. I've still got his sister but I fear the day I lose her too. If updates are sporadic, just know that I'm okay but struggling with my boy's passing. I love you Boo-Boy, miss you so much and I wish I could have you here in my arms. It hasn't even been 48 hours and it's already so hard without you here.**_

Please no flames.

 _ **Sad-Blue-Eyed-Angel 2010**_

* * *

Later that night, just prior to bedtime Alan and Scott drew straws to figure out who would be giving Mae her bath. Much to Scott's chagrin, he'd drawn the short straw.

"Come on Al, please? I can give her a bath tomorrow night." Scott begged.

"Scott, I can't. I have a homework assignment I need to finish and if I give Mae her bath, I'll be up until dawn finishing my paper." Alan said. He hated being in sophomore English lit. his teacher expected them to mass produce papers with high expectations of how they should be done. Alan had improved greatly over the past few months, but he usually had to scrape the bottom of the barrel when it came to word count. His teacher expected every paper to be over 1,000 words not counting a detailed work's cited page as well as footnotes and in-text citations. Half the time Alan felt like he was repeating himself with different phrases and sentences. Just prior to Alan's bout with the flu, he'd had to write a 1,150 word essay for the same class and had foregone eating dinner, settling for nutty buddies snack bites as meals and had stayed up for four days with less than three hours of sleep per night.

"Please Alan, I have to get to bed for my opening shift in the morning." Scott begged, unashamedly so in front of his younger brothers who were amazed to see Scott begging in the first place. Alan was used to it though.

"Fine, but you owe me." Alan said with a great sigh.

"Don't I always?" Scott asked as he ruffled Alan's hair playfully before he waved at his other brothers. "I'm off to bed. Night."

"Night." The brothers echoed before Alan stood up.

"Alright, Mae. Come on, bath time." Alan called into the living room from the kitchen. Mae scampered in when Alan called her and she smiled at her brother when he bent to pick her up. "God, what have we been feeding you? You're heavy."

"I'm grown up." Mae said with a smile.

"No, you're not. You're going to stay pint size forever and always." Alan said. "I'll be back in a little bit."

With that John, Virgil and Gordon were left to their own devices. Gordon looked around the living room before he nabbed the remote from Virgil and began flipping channels in search of something they all could watch.

Several minutes passed by before Mae came back down with Alan. He was carrying a pink hairbrush and hair ties before he sat on the floor and crossed his legs. "Come here Mae."

The little girl came running over and she did as Alan said before she sat with her back-facing Alan's front. John and Virgil who were seated above Alan watched how Alan brushed Mae's hair, taking care not to yank the long golden tresses. John observed Alan closer than Virgil and he watched as Alan who prior to brushing Mae's hair had put two hair ties between his lips. When he'd made the ponytail, and had it placed correctly, he tied it back using one of the two ties.

Mae squirmed a little as Alan tied her hair back but she settled when Alan muttered at her to stop. John and Virgil watched as Alan divided the ponytail into three sections before overlapping them all the way down. Once he'd finished he tied it off and said as much.

"Okay, you're good to go Mae. Hair is all braided nice and pretty." Alan said smiling lightly when his baby sister turned around to give him a hug.

"Thanks Allie." Mae said before she gave Alan a peck on the cheek and scampered off to go play with her Lego Duplo blocks.

Alan sighed as he stood up and went over to his backpack to retrieve his laptop. With that he went into the dining room and sat with his various books and papers so he could type up the paper. He chose to do his homework in the dining room because the temptation to procrastinate and go to bed was too great. At least in the dining room he was close to the kitchen and could grab a soda or coffee.

… … … … … … …

Virgil inhaled deeply as he woke up. He laid awake for a few moments, questioning what woke him before he checked his watch. It was just now a quarter past three in the morning. Virgil thought it odd that he'd have woken up now of all times. Usually once he went to sleep baring the opportunistic rescue waking him from a sound sleep, he stayed asleep all night without awakening. To wake up now was beyond unusual.

Lying awake for a few more moments, Virgil decided to get up and go make a mug of tea. On the rare nights that he did have trouble sleeping, a warm cup of tea was usually what the doctor ordered to make him ease back off to sleep.

It was a surprise to make his way down the stairs and find Alan asleep in front of his laptop at the dining room table. Virgil squinted at the change from darkness to light, but he made his way to the table regardless. Peeking quickly over Alan's shoulder, Virgil could see that Alan had fallen asleep just a few minutes ago, judging on the long string of gibberish that was typing merrily away while the notification for sticky keys was flashing across the screen.

Virgil shook his head. His younger siblings would never change. He took great care in removing Alan's head from the keyboard of his laptop and laying it back down on his arms. Alan remained blissfully unaware. Virgil pulled the laptop over and erased the strings of gibberish. He glanced at the word count and choked. Nine hundred words. Sliding Alan's notebook over, Virgil glanced through it to see Alan had simply been typing up what he'd had written. Virgil normally wouldn't willingly cheat for one of his siblings, or anyone for that matter. But desperate times…and all that. Alan hadn't finished typing his report and he'd mentioned it being due later that morning.

Virgil picked up where Alan left off, typing quickly but as quietly as was possible. He didn't want to wake Alan up. After a half hour of typing, Virgil had finished for Alan. He'd leaned back from the laptop and re-read through Alan's notes and took the time to add the footnotes and in-text citations. It wouldn't do for Alan to get a bad mark because of Virgil's negligence. Once he'd finished, Virgil hit save and closed the lid of Alan's laptop.

Being the brother with a slightly bulkier build than the rest of his brothers, Virgil hadn't had a qualm when it came to picking Alan up and carrying him upstairs to his room. Granted it was a fireman's carry, but he got Alan up the stairs without injury. Got him tucked into bed before he returned to the guest room himself. Now that he'd been up for a spell, Virgil felt his fatigue renew and he was asleep again within moments.

… … … … … … …

A rapping on the door downstairs woke the brothers a few hours later. John groaned, Virgil sat up in the bed next to him. They heard a faint call outside before a yelp was heard from the room down the hall. John and Virgil both contemplated checking to see what was going on when they heard Alan run past the door, a litany of 'Damn it's' following him downstairs. A glance at their watches told them that Alan had just woken up and he was running late. It was seven fifty-five and class started at eight fifteen.

The slamming of the front door was signal enough that Alan had left for class. A couple of car doors closed out in the driveway before silence enveloped them.

"I could go for some coffee." John murmured before he flipped back the duvet and sat on the side of the bed. Virgil remained where he lay, staring at the ceiling and debating on if he could go back to sleep or if it'd be easier to go join John for a coffee. Virgil tiredly watched John stand and stretch before he slowly pulled himself from bed also.

John left the room first, presumably to go to the restroom at the end of the hall while Virgil dressed. He unlike the rest of his brothers took a shower at night before bed and he didn't mind letting his brothers hog the shower in the morning.

Once dressed, Virgil softly made his way down the stairs and sighed more to himself when he spotted Alan had forgotten his backpack as well as his laptop. Virgil wondered when Alan's class would be where he'd need the report he'd fallen asleep typing. A quick glance in the fridge told Virgil that Alan hadn't even thought to retrieve his lunch that Scott prepared the night prior.

When John had finally come down the stairs, wet hair plastered to his scalp Virgil made his announcement.

"Feel up to walking to the school with me to take Alan his homework and lunch?" Virgil lamely gestured at the forgotten materials. "He forgot to grab everything in his haste to get to school on time."

"Yeah, Gordon should be fine until we get back." John remembered Scott saying that he would be taking Mae with him to work and leaving her in daycare so his brothers didn't have to babysit the duration of their visit. They made a pot of coffee and borrowed a few of the many travel mugs in the cupboard, obviously left behind from their mom and Brandon. Virgil loaded Alan's laptop and charging cord as well as his lunch bag before he shouldered the bag. A quick glance in Alan's bag told him that Alan defiantly was a busy boy. There were several notebooks and one labeled Aida, but Virgil didn't make the distinction.

Together the brothers set out and made it to the school in less than a half hour. When they approached the school, they passed the auditorium and slowed. The door was ajar and from within there was singing. A quick glance in told the brothers that the high school choir was in session. Virgil was hesitant to leave, having been entranced by the vocals.

John took the bag from Virgil and went on ahead, leaving his brother down the hall from the office. He could still hear the music, considering the office was only three doors down from the auditorium.

"Hello, what can I do for you?" The receptionist asked as he looked up at John, smiling briefly at the younger man.

"Um, I was just bringing my younger brother's lunch and backpack to him. He accidently left it at the house." John said as he held up the bag. "Alan Tracy."

"Ah yes, Alan." The receptionist commented. He chuckled with a smile. "I guess I should have been able to put two and two together. You two look an awful lot alike."

"Yeah." John said with a nervous chuckle. "Do you happen to know where I can leave this? It's got his laptop in it and I don't want it stolen."

"You can take it to the auditorium, he's in class right now but I don't think Mrs. Phelps will mind." The receptionist said.

"He's in the auditorium?" John asked with a look of interest.

"Yes, it's a requirement to graduate to have an arts class and choir is mandatory for underclassmen if they aren't in band. Only seniors get the opportunity to take electives." The receptionist commented before motioning with his head for John to move along. John wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth, but he wanted to talk to Scott about how lax the rules were at the school. He could be your average joe off the street and not who he said he was and he'd just been permitted into the school without needing to identify himself further.

John walked back up to Virgil, carrying Alan's backpack. He opened the auditorium door and he and Virgil slipped in. They both were surprised to see over sixty students on stage, standing on risers. Grabbing a seat, they both listened as the students sang the finale to some Broadway musical. Virgil was familiar with the song. The class didn't seem to notice the brothers' entrance and so they continued with the song. When it was over, the teacher instructed the class to grab a drink of water while she changed the settings in her keyboard. A couple of female students moved further down the risers and stood at the front while the other students simply milled around.

Mrs. Phelps gathered her student's attention several moments later and instructed them to get into place before they began. She started the pre-recorded music and stood tall as she began to direct the music. It started off with an Irish feel to it. Many of the students seemed to be chanting something, though what…the brothers hadn't a clue. Not even John and he was the linguist of the family.

One of the female students that had moved in front of the group started singing, her high soprano voice standing out from the background vocals of the other students. Virgil and John shared a look to see Alan on the riser with a group of boys that were the primary background singers. Alan like the other students wasn't goofing off or acting bored. He was focused and standing straight, watching Mrs. Phelps for her cues to begin singing.

Virgil spotted Alan covering one of his ears again like he had the night at the Lean Bean. It confirmed his theory that Alan was trying to hear himself sing to remain on tune and it affirmed where Alan picked up such an action. Virgil was never in a choir class when he was in school, he'd picked up on covering one's own ear from studying music in his free time while away at college. To know that Alan was in a choir class made Virgil proud. Now it made sense that Alan sang, he'd probably picked up the desire to sing because of this class.

When the song, which the brothers could deduce from listening to the lyrics was called 'She Moved Through the Fair' had ended; the bell had rung and the students filed off the risers and headed for the door. John and Virgil remained seated for several long minutes until Alan and a couple of girls and guys began to move past.

"Hey Alan!" John called to get his brother's attention. And boy, did he? Alan jumped nearly a foot in the air and spun around after hearing a familiar voice call his name.

"John?! Virgil?!" Alan asked in mortification. "What are you guys doing here?"

"Making a special delivery." John said as he handed Alan his backpack. "You forgot your backpack, lunch and laptop at home. We figured we'd bring it to you."

"I don't mean…here – here. I mean what are you doing in my classroom?" Alan asked as his face transformed quickly from shock to terror. "Oh, my god, is everything okay with Scott and Mae?"

"They're fine. We really did just bring you your lunch and school materials. You left them behind when you hurried to school this morning and we didn't want you to get in trouble or go hungry." Virgil said with a smile. "I didn't know you were in choir."

"It's not exactly a choice. I'd prefer to be in band, but I can't read sheet music." Alan said softly. He mumbled something under his breath that neither older brother caught clearly, but John who was closer and had ears like a wolf picked up what Alan mumbled under his breath.

"You were awesome though, I must say. You'll have to keep in touch, let me know when your class is going to have a concert so I can attend." Virgil said with another smile. He'd ask John later what Alan mumbled to confirm what he'd heard. If what he heard was correct, he may be able to pull some strings for his brother so he can do what he wanted.

Alan blushed at the compliment for the singing and he looked away in embarrassment. The warning bell rang, warning students that class was about to start. It snapped Alan out of his thoughts and he hurriedly shouldered his bag before he looked to his brothers.

"I have to go! See you at home?" Alan asked.

"You bet!" Virgil called with an agreement from John. Alan had jogged away before Virgil could reply, grabbing the door frame and using it to aid in turning the corner before he disappeared. Virgil and John smiled before they went to follow Alan from the auditorium. It was time to return home. Or to the home they were visiting.

… … … … … … …

John was standing beside Virgil at the sink. John was pulling each washed plate, cup or utensil from the rinse water before he handed them to Gordon who they'd roped into drying the dishes and putting them away. Think of it as a form of punishment for being a jerk previously to Alan and Scott.

The two older brothers had returned from Alan's school an hour prior. Instead of sitting on their hands and waiting for their oldest and youngest family members to return, they decided to help. Virgil and John wanted to make dinner for the lot of them and after they'd finished the dishes they had planned on using the rental car to run to the store. The less miles they put on that thing, the better. They'd already looked through the pantry and discovered a lot of stuff that the household was either out of or low on.

Scott would be upset when he found out, but John and Virgil had discussed it on their walk home to help Scott out. Something he'd said after the argument before Scott left to retrieve Alan from a friend's house struck a chord in them both.

" _Why can't you see it from my perspective?"_

John and Virgil both had been examining everything from Scott's perspective, or they'd been trying to. Gordon had begun to slowly come around to the idea that staying in Kansas hadn't been his first choice.

" _Do you think I wanted to have custody of my own baby brother and sister?"_

It wasn't surprising that Scott had been given custody of Alan and Mae. He had an impeccable record, not even a traffic stop marring his name. He'd readily decided to forgo returning to the island in favor of giving Alan and Mae a life of normalcy that didn't involve hermitizing them.

" _Do you think I wanted to leave you guys behind while I play happy families here, in a place I'm as unfamiliar with as I am with operating Thunderbird Five?"_

Of course, it hadn't been Scott's first choice to stay stateside, but he did what had to be done. He was trustworthy like that.

" _Do you think I wanted to pay for our mother and step-father's funerals, burial costs, the mortgage or various other bills? What about the expenses to get Alan's teeth straight? He needs braces in case you haven't noticed!"_

John felt sick at the idea that Scott had all these worries floating over his head, things that a person his age should never be forced to deal with. Virgil was bothered that Scott had to shoulder all the burdens without an ounce of help, and Scott who could have asked for help when thing got tough hadn't because of pride.

" _Do you think I wanted any of this? I don't! I wish the states hadn't given me custody of Alan or Mae! I wish they'd given it to dad! He's a dad! He understands the kinds of things I don't!"_

Scott hadn't wanted this in the first place, but he'd done what was expected of him. Taking up the slack when nobody else would. And that was just unacceptable to John and Virgil. Scott may be Alan and Mae's legal guardian, but this was not his burden to bear. Not alone. They were a family and yes…sometimes it did take a village to raise a kid. Or in this case, two kids.

" _You don't know a damn thing about how I'm feeling! Not only do I have to worry over things I never thought I'd deal with in my whole life, but I thought you of all people could understand that I'm not able to uproot the two kids that have been placed in my care and my care alone!"_

"We're not gonna let Scott do this alone…not anymore." Virgil said to John who agreed that when they returned to the island, they were going to call a family meeting and discuss reinstating Scott's IR pay despite his lack of work for the organization. He'd still be working if things hadn't happened the way they had. But if wishes were horses, beggars would ride. That's all there was to it. The second oldest and middle sons weren't about to let their older brother down. He took care of them when it was necessary, now it was his turn to get a little help. Gordon who appeared to be lost in his own little world hadn't acknowledged anything his brothers had said.


	13. Not Alone

_**A/N: Hey ya'll, here is another update. Thank you to those of you that reviewed the last chapter. Your reviews made the period of grieving easier to deal with. I'm still struggling from time to time with my Boo-boy's passing, but I take comfort that he's not in pain and he's playing with my Goldie girl in a field across the Rainbow Bridge. I look forward to when I can see the both of them again, but hopefully it won't be for a long time coming. In between homework, I'm working on Rising From The Ashes and trying to un-surface my muse for Never Look Back, though for that particular story, I won't be updating for a while longer. I've been incredibly busy, barely remembering to eat more than a bowl of cereal in a given day. I can only afford to write when I'm not buried under deadlines, and assignments that on a good day make me want to crawl in a hole and hide from responsibility. Please have patience with me and I'll post new entries soon. Keep your eyes peeled, I may be posting new Rising From The Ashes and Walk To Remember chapters in the coming week.**_

 _ **Thanks again and please remember that this is just written for fun. Rude or disparaging reviews are not appreciated nor will they be tolerated. If you don't like what I write then don't read.**_

 _ **Sad-Blue-Eyed-Angel 2010**_

* * *

John put a check mark beside the cans of tuna and boxes of macaroni and cheese, taking them off the list of groceries to buy. John and Virgil had divided the groceries up into separate shopping lists, splitting up with their own shopping carts to get the grocery shopping done. John and Virgil worked out a budget, agreeing to spend a hundred dollars or more of their own money from their own cards to stock up the kitchen, pantry and toiletries.

John looked down into his basket and per his calculations, had gotten approximately one-hundred and fifty dollars' worth of just food. It was primarily non-perishable food stuffs with cartons of milk, orange juice, frozen foods and fresh produce tossed in to keep things balanced. He'd known going into this to figure in that Kansas had a grocery sales tax and had done the necessary calculations to remain on par. John was walking past the bakery and saw a box of a dozen donuts of varying types. Normally he wouldn't but his sweet tooth was screaming at him to grab something and he'd been raised to think of his brothers too.

"What the hell?" John muttered as he grabbed the dozen donuts. They'd all get two donuts a piece. With all five brothers and one sister, it couldn't hurt.

A text message came through, making John's phone start chiming. He grabbed his phone and checked it to find out who texted him.

 _'Hey, I'm ready to check out. How about you?'_ Virgil had texted to John. The older brother stepped away from the bakery, remembering that he'd come there for bread before he grabbed a couple loaves. He walked out into the main aisle to see Virgil was waving at him. John hurried his pace and joined his brother before anyone else thought he was cutting.

"So, how'd you do?" Virgil asked as he unloaded the various packages of toilet paper, paper towels, laundry detergents, fabric softener, dish soap, body washes, deodorant, toothpastes, shampoos as well as several bottles of hair gel for Scott. He'd tried to stick to the stuff they were used to as a family back on the island, but it hadn't escaped either brother's notice that Scott had begun using the cheap stuff instead of name brand.

"I think I did pretty well." John said as he helped Virgil finish unloading his cart on the conveyor belt before he started on his basket. "How about we go halves. Ring up everything together and split the cost straight down the middle instead of one brother spending more than the other?"

"If you want. I don't mind." Virgil commented.

It was better if they were doing this to help their family out instead of hording all the money they earned to themselves. It's not like they were using it all the time.

Virgil and John offered sheepish grins to the cashier when her eyes bugged out at the mass of groceries. She shut off her light to limit how long her line would no doubt get with their huge purchase. Virgil began to load the grocery bags the cashier had bagged while John ran to get a third cart. The first one filled up fast and they weren't finished yet.

When the cashier rang up the last item, she hit the total button and glanced nervously at the brothers before she rattled off the final amount.

"That will be $535.65. Will that be cash or card?" The cashier asked.

John did the math in his head before he held up his card. "We'd like to do a split payment of $267.83 for me. Virgil, you got the rest?"

"Oh yeah." Virgil said before he watched the total drop down once John's payment went through. He ran his own card and smiled at John and the cashier as he was handed the receipt. "Thank you very much."

"No problem, have a great evening gentlemen." The cashier said before she returned her attention to customers milling by.

John and Virgil went out to the parking lot, and gave each other a high five before loading their groceries in the rental car. John checked his watch and called to Virgil to hurry up. Scott was due back from work soon and they wanted to get all the groceries unloaded and put away before Scott got home.

"Scott's gonna kill us." Virgil said as he hopped into the front passenger seat. They had to beat Scott home. No ifs ands or buts about it.

… … … … … … …

John and Virgil both dropped onto the couch, trying to act nonchalant when they saw Scott pull into the driveway. Sharing a look, the brothers started doing what they do best when back at home. John grabbed his book, burying his nose in the pages and Virgil jumped up at the last moment to run over and begin playing the piano. He struggled to keep his nerves when the garage door opened.

"I'm home!" Scott called aloud. He was silent for a few moments before he came through the door of the kitchen and looked at his brothers. "What did you guys do?"

"Nothing, what makes you think we did anything?" John asked with a look of surprise. He hoped they weren't too obvious.

"Well for one, unless you learned how to read upside down I think that book would be more interesting right side up. And second, Virgil is hunching his shoulders and I know he prefers sitting up straight when he plays the piano." Scott said. "Please tell me the truth."

"We haven't done anything." Virgil said, taking a moment to sit up straight.

"Yeah right, you two need to get better at lying. I'll know when I find it and I will find it. Whatever it is." Scott said before he unzipped his wind breaker and shed it. He walked to the hallway closet and hung his wind breaker up before he turned back to his brothers. "Where's Gordon?"

"Upstairs. Pouting." John commented. "How was work?"

"It was work. Nothing to really write home about." Scott said before he heaved a sigh. "I'm starving. You guys eat yet?"

"Yeah, we ate not long ago. Help yourself." Virgil said to his oldest brother. Scott gave his brothers the stink eye as if he smelled something fishy. He turned and went to the kitchen before he opened the cupboard to retrieve the bread.

"Guys?" Scott asked before he walked back out to the living room carrying one of his favorite snacks. He looked at his younger brothers, looking between them both to understand what they'd done. "What did you guys do?"

"Johnny?" Virgil asked, he knew the jig was up. Scott had just discovered what they'd done, or part of it. He and John both stood up to walk with Scott.

'We wanted to help you out." John said before leading Scott back into the kitchen and to the pantry. "We did some thinking on what you said the other day and we felt we hadn't been helping you as much as we should be. This isn't your sole responsibility."

Scott's eyes widened impossibly bigger when he saw the pantry and other cupboards stocked full of practically everything they could want or need for the next few months. Scott bit his lip before he turned away from the surprise and proceeded to pinch the bridge of his nose in attempt to stem the tears pricking at his eyes.

"No." Scott said once he felt like he could speak without blubbering like a fool. "You guys didn't have to do this."

"Yes, we did. You've had to take care of so much, taken on a responsibility that shouldn't be yours to bear. It's not right that you have to borrow from Peter to pay Paul just to get by." Virgil said as he stepped forward and leaned around his oldest brother to smile at him. "Alan and Mae are our siblings too and we need to help you as much as we can. If buying groceries helps you out, then we will."

Scott bit his bottom lip to hide the quiver, but he was too slow when it came to stopping the hitch in his breath when he inhaled.

"Thank you." Scott said before he pulled both brothers in for a hug. It wasn't his brother's responsibility to provide for him or their younger siblings, but they had. It meant a lot to Scott especially considering he had bills to pay and had been scrounging to pay for groceries. While his job paid well, he'd taken to cutting corners because he couldn't afford everything.

"You don't need to thank us. Just promise us that if you ever need a helping hand, you'll pick up that phone and ask us for help. You may be their legal guardian, but that doesn't mean you are on your own.

… … … … … … …

Gordon stood just outside the kitchen, watching his brothers get a hug from his oldest brother. He stayed just out of sight, but he felt bad nonetheless. Here he'd been feeling consumed with hate for the toddler and jealousy of his immediate younger brother even though none of this was their fault. He really hadn't stopped to think about how this was affecting his oldest brother. When they'd first arrived, Gordon thought Scott looked more tired than he had in a long time. Now hearing John and Virgil talk and having stumbled upon some old bills in the guest room, Gordon was finally aware of how much stress Scott was under and why he didn't need the added stress of Gordon throwing a hissy fit.

Glancing down at the bill in his hand, Gordon knew that something needed to be done. Scott couldn't continue this way, he'd be tearing his hair out by the years' end if some things didn't change.

Gordon glanced back in the kitchen to see John and Virgil laughing with a misty-eyed Scott over having been surprised with fully stocked shelves of food and groceries taken care of for the time being. He knew what needed to be done, but he didn't know quite how to go about doing it. He needed to talk to his dad. His dad would know what to do and how he could help.

Hurrying up the stairs, Gordon pulled his phone from his pocket. He had a phone call he needed to make and he had to do it now while his brothers were occupied.

… … … … … … …

"Damn it." Alan growled as he sat on the floor of the stage.

"Alan, are you okay?" Mrs. Phelps and Vanessa asked as they knelt beside him.

"No, I've got a leg cramp." Alan moaned as his foot was visibly arched back.

"I'm not gonna hurt you." Vanessa said before she tentatively placed her hands onto Alan's calf and started rubbing up toward Alan's knee. She could feel that Alan's calf was locked up tight. "Does that hurt?"

"No, not you…my leg does though." Alan had to breathe through the cramp.

"I think that's enough for the evening. Vanessa, do you think you could give Alan a ride home? With his leg cramping up, I don't want him to hurt himself. The show is in three days." Mrs. Phelps said. Alan tried to argue but both Mrs. Phelps and Vanessa stared him down.

"Okay." Alan said, submitting to the venomous glares being directed at him.

"Come on, let's get you up." Mrs. Phelps said before she and Vanessa teamed up to help Alan up off the floor. Alan leaned against Vanessa, as they walked out to the parking lot. Alan's leg kept cramping up and Alan had to bite his lip so that he wouldn't call out. Once he was in the car with Vanessa, he started directing her to his house. When they pulled up, Alan was hesitant to go in. It was late, much later than he'd been coming home and he was afraid that Scott would have a cow.

"See you tomorrow Alan." Vanessa said before Alan closed the car door after he'd climbed out.

"See you tomorrow Vanessa, and thanks for the ride." Alan said as he leaned down to peer into the vehicle. "Drive safe."

"Thanks." Vanessa said softly before she waved. "Good night."

"Night." Alan said before he closed the car door and backed away from the vehicle so Vanessa could drive without running over Alan's feet.

Once Vanessa had pulled away, Alan limped his way up to the house. He wasn't expecting a welcoming committee but he was surprised nonetheless when one of his brothers practically stormed the door upon his entry.

"Alan! Where have you been?" Virgil asked, relieved to see his brother. Dinner had been well over an hour ago, and Scott was beginning to freak out as was Mae. John had been doing his best to keep them both calm.

"Sorry, I got stuck helping a friend study." Alan offered lamely. He went to take a step and forgot that his leg had been cramping, so when he bore the weight he hissed in pain.

"What hurts?" Virgil asked as he stepped forward to support Alan.

"Nothing, my leg just keeps cramping." Alan mumbled before he was led into the kitchen by his third oldest brother.

"Here, this is an old trick that grandma used to use whenever any of us had bad leg cramps in the middle of the night." Virgil said before he retrieved a spoon from the silverware drawer. He glanced down at Alan's leg. "Pull up your pant leg for me, will you Sprout?"

Alan pulled his pant leg up above the knee and gasped when another muscle cramp hit. Alan's foot pulled up and nothing he did could make it ease. Virgil crouched in front of his brother and took Alan's leg gently in his grasp before he touched the utensil to Alan's leg. Immediately the cramp eased off and Alan could move his foot again.

"There we go." Virgil said before he stood to retrieve a cup from the cupboard. "How about some juice?"

"I guess." Alan commented with a sigh. He'd forgotten his grandmother's remedy for curing muscle cramps when they hit. "How is grandma?"

"She's still kicking. She asks about you all the time." Virgil said as he opened the refrigerator to grab a jug of juice. "Always asking how you are and why you don't come out to see her like you used to."

"She doesn't want to see me." Alan said with a frown. "I won't go out there without Mae."

"Alan, you know grandma doesn't blame you or mom. And mom and grandma still talked despite mom and dad's divorce. Grandma is more upset that you wouldn't join mom to go have lunch with them on the weekends. She's really missed you." Virgil said as he sat at the table across from Alan.

"But I'm the reason mom and dad got a divorce. If I'd never been conceived, none of this would have happened. Mom would still be alive, she and dad would probably still be married and you all would still have a mom." Alan said with a resigned sigh. "You know that my conception caused a lot of grief between mom and dad. Ever since I was born, they've done nothing but argue. Dad started working more and leaving mom at home alone to care for me. Never mind the fact that I was always developing chest colds, or fevers or bronchitis."

"So, what, so you got sick a lot as a kid. Doesn't everyone?" Virgil said before he slid the glass full of juice towards Alan. "Perhaps you should give grandma a call. I've been itching to see her and I know you want to. You were always grandma's boy…and a mama's boy."

"Maybe." Alan said before he paused. "Was it my imagination or did you move me to my bed last night?"

"I might have moved you to your bed. Can't imagine sleeping at the table was very comfortable." Virgil said before he coughed into his elbow to disguise a smirk. "How's your leg feeling?"

"Better, thanks." Alan replied. He hadn't been anticipating Virgil to come to his rescue, but he had. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Shoot." Virgil commented.

"Do you think dad is mad? You know…at me? For taking Scott and for not going to live with you all?" Alan asked with a timid frown.

"No. He's talked with me and John a bit and he's not mad. If he is mad, it's more at himself than at you." Virgil said before he went to the stove and retrieved the empty plate that had been set out for Alan. He dished up a plate for Alan before he nuked it in the microwave for a few moments. "Honestly, he's remorseful that he let you be taken in the first place. He never quite forgave me, Scott and John for leaving you alone that day. Still brings it up from time to time, wishing he'd done things differently. I know dad still wishes that he never signed those divorce papers. But he knew mom was going to leave with or without those papers being signed. And mom never gave up the fight to get custody of you."

Alan looked at Virgil from beneath his bangs. He felt bad, mostly because he was glad when he was taken from his dad and partly because he felt like he should have stayed with his dad and brothers.

"Do you wish she hadn't? Gotten custody of me?" Alan asked knowing he was poking a sleeping bear.

"If I'm honest, and I don't want you to take this the wrong way. I am glad she got custody of you. Not long after the divorce, John went off to college, Scott joined the air force and dad…he enrolled me and Gordon in boarding school. It sucked. I was a senior in high school, Gordon was a sophomore, we were on completely different schedules and were in dorms on opposite sides of campus. That would have been no life for you. You wouldn't even have been at the same school as us. You'd have stayed on the island with dad and Kyrano or been put in a boarding school program for elementary students." Virgil's gaze looked distant to Alan and the younger was curious what was on his brother's mind. "I think if Gordon and I had known that we were going to be put in boarding school, we'd have both opted to stay with you and mom. At least then we would have been with people we liked being around. The both of us were so used to sharing rooms with each other that it felt unnatural to have rooms all to ourselves."

Alan stared forlornly at his plate of food before he dug in.

"Um, when you're done with dinner there are two donuts in the box on the counter for you." Virgil looked uncomfortable with the notion of staying and he slowly inched toward the door.

Before he opened the door, leaving Alan to finish his dinner in silence – Alan stopped him.

"Virge." Alan said softly.

'Yes?" Virgil paused at the door with his hand outstretched.

"Thanks…and if you're still here and you talk to grandma…come find me." Alan was chewing his thumbnail at that point, nervous at seeing his grandmother for the first time since before Mae was born.


	14. Apologies & Lullabies

**_A/N: Wow, okay perhaps it's best not to listen to what promises I make...I kept meaning to post this last week but got incredibly busy with essays. Few more weeks, until I'm finished. However, I feel it fair to let you all know that come the end of June, updates will be incredibly delayed. My apartment lease will be closing and I will be moving...again. This should be the last time I move for a few years, if I ever do move further North than where I am currently. I also wanted to tell you the names of the songs used for inspiration for aspects of this chapter. Broken Home by 5 Seconds of Summer and Lullaby for a Princess. The Lullaby For A Princess song I found on YouTube with an animation for My Little Pony...don't ask how I came across that song, I usually just play playlists I find and just listen to the songs listed, this particular song was in a random playlist. Anyway, I don't think I need to remind ya'll that I won't tolerate rude or demeaning reviews, if you have to offer criticism then it MUST be constructive._**

 ** _Additional A/N at the bottom._**

 ** _Enjoy!_**

* * *

Scott sighs to himself as he washed the dishes. He'd gotten Alan and Mae settled in the living room with a bowl of popcorn and a movie, Virgil and John were spending a quiet moment with their younger siblings and Scott was left to his thoughts. He took comfort in the monotonous actions of washing dishes by hand. Sure, they had a dish washer, but sometimes, Scott thought it was easier to do it by hand. So, focused was he that he didn't hear the steps creak in the servant's stairway.

"Scott?"

The oldest brother halted in washing the dishes to peer over his shoulder at Gordon. His next to youngest brother was dressed in lounge pants and a loose t-shirt, obviously not used to the cooler temperatures of Kansas as opposed to the obviously warmer climate of Tracy Island. It took Scott some getting used to when he'd initially moved back home. He'd taken to layering his shirts and wearing long jeans and socks while Alan and Mae were comfortable in just about anything that wasn't longer than knee length.

"What is it Gordon?" Scott asked as he returned his attention to the dishes. He wanted to get them finished before he went out to the living room to join Alan and Mae with watching Wall-E. It was a childish film, but it was what Mae wanted to watch and so they'd agreed to put it on for her.

"I'm sorry." Gordon said, coming out and apologizing to Scott, whether it was for his attitude of late or something he'd done, a prank he'd pulled that Scott had yet to fall victim to…he didn't know. But he stopped all the same and looked back at his brother to see his boisterous little brother gripping the hem of his baggy shirt and looking down in shame.

"What are you sorry for Gordon?" Scott asked as he grabbed a dry towel and dried his hands of the water and soap residue. He went over to his brother and sat at the table, motioning for Gordon to join him. "What are you sorry for?"

"The way I've been acting…I gave it a lot of thought and I'm embarrassed at how badly I've been acting." Gordon said, he kept his gaze locked on his lap, hands still firmly gripping his t-shirt.

"It's not me you should be apologizing to Gordon…I think there's a certain little brother of yours that was more hurt by the way you acted. I think you need to apologize to him." Scott said before he returned his attention to the dishes. He didn't see the look on Gordon's face, but he heard his socks slide across the kitchen's linoleum flooring. Peeking over his shoulder, Scott watched Gordon poke his head through the door into the living room and say something to Alan.

Scott heard the muffled reply from Alan before Gordon closed the door separating the kitchen from the living room. The older brother wouldn't admit that he was watching his second youngest brother, but he was. He wanted to make sure that Gordon wasn't going to try something. A few minutes went by before Alan slunk into the kitchen and followed Gordon into the back yard. Scott could see them from his vantage point at the window, he was doing the dishes so was directly in front of the glass.

Scott observed Alan stepping off the back patio into the grass to walk barefooted through the grass. He like the rest of them was dressed in his pajamas. It was their Friday Movie Marathon tradition. Scott originally didn't like the idea of running around the house in his pajamas, but had grown used to it the more he was encouraged by his baby sister and little brother.

… … … … … … …

Alan walked out into the grass, keeping his eyes peeled for snakes. He was barefoot, he wouldn't be concerned if he was wearing shoes but nothing on his feet put him at risk of being bitten. When he was younger just before the divorce, when he and Gordon had gone to their grandparents for the summer; he'd had the misfortune of almost being bitten by massasauga. Gordon had been with a neighbor's kid hanging out near the corral. Alan had snuck up on Gordon, intention to scare him when he was with a girl and had been scared himself when he'd come face to face with the pygmy rattler.

Gordon had thankfully suspected his little brother sneaking up on him and had climbed up on top of a hay bale that had been set out into the sun to dry by their grandfather. He saw his little brother's mesmerized yet fearful gaze with the snake and he'd grabbed a rake and sent the snake flying but not before it had tried to strike Alan in the face. The rake had come down at the right time because the snake had been blocked from advancing on his brother. So forgive him for being wary.

"Why did you bring me out here Gordon?" Alan asked, unsure as he crossed his arms over his chest, keeping his gaze down. Lately Alan found his older brother irritated with anything Alan did, even if it was simply looking in his direction.

"It's time I issued you an apology. I've been a complete and total ass to not only Mae, but to you too. So, I'm sorry. I didn't mean any of those things I said to you, accusing you of taking Scott from us. I know you wouldn't have done any of what I accused you of. I was just being an irrational jerk that wouldn't listen to anything anyone would say." Gordon said as he sat on one of the patio steps. Alan walked out into the grass and when he stopped, he proceeded to mull over Gordon's apology while he indulged in wiggling his toes in the warm green grass.

"Just tell me why." Alan requested, trying to understand the reasoning behind Gordon's recent behavior.

"Scott was right, I've been jealous." Gordon said dropping his head down and letting his hands dangle between his splayed knees.

"Because Scott said you were or because it's true?" Alan asked. He didn't want to accept an apology from Gordon if it wasn't genuine.

"Both. I didn't want to admit that I was mad over Scott staying here with you and Mae and I guess I needed Scott accusing me of being a jealous bastard to open my eyes to the truth. I was jealous of Scott, the time you get to spend with him. He's here, getting to spend time with you like old times and I'm stuck on the island where all I can do is save the world or lay around staring at the ceiling. The island isn't much fun anymore without Scott around to push his buttons." Gordon heaved a great sigh before continuing. "Life isn't the same without the both of you around."

"So why did you treat me like I wasn't anything more than the dirt you walked on? It really hurt to be treated like I didn't matter to you anymore. We used to be so close and now it's like I don't even know you anymore." Alan asked, needing to know if he was just a burden, if him and their baby sister were just an inconvenience to his older brothers and father.

It felt like a knife was gutting Gordon when he heard what Alan said. ' _now it's like I don't even know you anymore'._

"I'm so sorry I treated you so bad Al…I didn't mean it. I guess I'm just still having trouble digesting that mom is gone and I finally have you back in my life." Gordon offered, watching as Alan's shoulder drooped at what he said.

"That's a really lame excuse Gordon." Alan turned, the sunset lighting his features and making it obvious to Gordon that Alan's eyes were shining with emotion. "Just because I lived with mom, it doesn't mean I wasn't part of your life anymore. Need I remind you what you said to me the other day? Airplanes fly both ways. You could have come to see us just as much as I could have come to see you all."

Letting his arms fall to his sides, Alan turned and walked past Gordon and went inside without listening when Gordon tried to stop him. Gordon sat outside for a few more minutes before he stood up and went back into the house, feeling like he'd made no headway with apologizing to Alan.

In his defense, Gordon was bad with words. He'd never been able to express how he was feeling unless it was via prank or tantrum. He just wasn't a wordy person. His brothers were wordy, but Gordon could never get the words out there without offending someone.

He went into the kitchen and was stopped by Scott.

"That could've gone a lot better." Scott murmured. "Just give him time, I think you'll have to make it up to him."

"He should know I'm bad with words. He'd have better luck getting an apology from a mime than he would from me." Gordon replied. "Where'd he go?"

"Upstairs." Scott said before he looked up. "He usually locks himself up in his bedroom when he's upset."

"I screwed up again." Gordon murmured under his breath.

"Nah, he's still trying to come to terms with everything. He puts on a good front, but I know he's still struggling to keep his head above water." Scott said. "Come on, let's go finish the movie and give Alan his space."

… … … … … … …

Alan sat on the edge of his bed, guitar perched on his knee. He was tuning it, mutedly. Plucking lightly at the strings to check it to make sure it remained where he liked it. When he was in tune, he removed his electronic tuner and set it off to the side before he grabbed a guitar pick from his nightstand.

He started plucking at the strings, not really meaning to play anything. He just wanted to make noise. If it transformed into a song, it was unintended. He closed his eyes as he let the rhythmic motions of plucking at the strings wash over him. He started to pick out a melody to a song his mother and stepfather loved. They'd always ask him to play it for them, sometimes they'd dance to it, other times they'd simply sit and sway. His mother adored Elvis and Alan often obliged her by playing it.

He played through a few songs that he remembered his mother and step father requesting he play regularly. It calmed him down, dulled the pain to a point. Better than drinking until he couldn't stand up straight.

… … … … … … …

Scott stood outside Alan's bedroom door, fist poised to knock when he heard the guitar playing. He didn't dare disturb Alan. Not only did it sound nice, but Scott began to recognize this as Alan's form of decompression. This wasn't the first-time Alan had played the guitar, locked away in his bedroom. Scott saw the guitars, kept thinking he could hear a guitar strumming when he was downstairs working on the household budget. He knew it was Alan, who else could it be? Mae was too little to hold Alan's guitars and she had the attention span of a…well a toddler. If things were too hard or she didn't find them interesting enough, she'd set it off to the side and do something else.

Lowering his fist back down, Scott backed away from Alan's doorway. He didn't want to disturb Alan. If playing the guitar helped him then it did. Scott wasn't going to take that away from him.

As he walked away, he could hear Alan's continued strumming. He went to the landing on the stairs and glanced back in the direction of his little brother's room before he returned down stairs. He'd leave Alan be this time, give him a few minutes to gather his thoughts before he tried again.

… … … … … … …

Alan grabbed his notebook and pencil, jotting down lyrics before he started strumming again. He was writing a song based on his mom and dad's failed marriage. Singing along softly to the melody he created, Alan grabbed his cell phone before he called his friends. Since he wrote a lot of the songs they performed, he had to relay the new song.

He waited while it rang and when they answered he told them about it.

"I think this might be a really good song." Alan said, feeling sure of his abilities to write decent songs.

"Let's hear it then." Sean said as he moved around his room. He was the drummer in their novice band and he was waiting to hear the song so he could work the drums in. Jared was another of the guitar and bass players. Chaz played everything in between including the violin.

Alan began playing the song, singing along to the words he'd written down and Sean began picking out the beat. He started off softly but by the time they'd added other aspects, the song was more than a rough draft.

"This sounds amazing Alan." Jared said as he heard the meaning of the song in the words. "You've got to flesh this out a little more and add our parts in so we can practice."

"Yeah I will after this weekend." Alan said softly.

"What time is the play?" Chaz asked.

"The first play is tomorrow at six thirty. Then there are two more on Sunday. An afternoon matinee followed by the final performance complete with cast pictures at the end." Alan said, voice devoid of excitement. "I have to do three separate performances and it's not something I'm looking forward to."

"You should be excited, you're almost done! Then you won't have to do this again." Sean said, he was the friend that had sneered at the idea of Alan being forced by the principal to take part in the drama production. He was one of the least supportive friends when it came to Alan going on with the show after his mom and stepfather's demise. Jared and Chaz both thought it was admirable of Alan to keep going on despite his mom never being able to see it or proving to his stepfather that he'd made an excellent choice when it came to one of the main characters in the production.

Alan swallowed audibly before a sigh breached his lips. It was silent for several long minutes before Sean spoke up again.

"You are finished…right?"

"I…I'm beginning to like it. Being in drama." Alan said softly. He wasn't ashamed, far from it. Drama was something he'd grown to love. "Is that bad?"

"No Alan. That's awesome." Chaz said, cutting off whatever thing Sean was going to say. "Don't judge Alan on his acting until you see the play yourself. I sat through a few of his practices and he's awesome."

"Alright, but I'll be in the front row with a box of rotten tomatoes." Alan smiled at Sean's attempt to be funny. He appreciated his friends not treating him like he's anything different because of something he couldn't control.

"I'll be swinging by tomorrow at noon to get you for your last dress rehearsal, okay Al?" Chaz said. He was excited for his friend and more excited about the end of the drama performance. He'd asked Alan kindly to find out if one of his costars would be interested in having dinner after the performance and she'd agreed. Chaz was excited because Alan hinted that his costar had developed a bit of a crush on Chaz and she was eager to meet him after the play.

"Are you going to stick around to help with our makeup or are you gonna skedaddle?" Alan asked, he was picking at the dirt under his finger nails while he waited on Chaz's reply.

"I can't do make up, are you kidding?" Chaz squawked indignantly. His reaction made Alan smile.

"You know who will be there and she's hoping you'll be her good luck charm." Alan said waiting to hear Chaz's reply and it was exactly as he thought it'd be.

"Of course, I'll be there!" Chaz said excitedly. "I wouldn't miss it for the world!"

"Right." Alan said with a soft chuckle. "Listen I need to go down to mingle with my brothers before they think something is wrong. I'll see you tomorrow at noon Chaz."

"See you!" Chaz said, with echoes of farewell from his other friends before Alan hung up the phone. He sat quietly for a few minutes before he pushed his laptop away and stood up. Time to go prove to his brothers that he wasn't mad. He was sure they were giving Gordon a hard time because Alan disappeared shortly after he and Gordon talked.

… … … … … … …

"Allie."

Alan surfaced from his sleep slowly, but he steadily came awake with the persistent little hands shaking him. "Huh? Mae, what is it?"

"I had a bad dream." Mae whispered. Alan looked across at his baby sister and could see she was legitimately upset. It wasn't that she just didn't want to sleep in her own bed. She wanted to be with Alan.

That was something Alan had grown used to. Ever since Mae got her big girl bed, she'd come to Alan whenever she had a nightmare. Even after the accident when Alan had to lug around crutches.

"Can you sing me a song?" Mae asked kindly even if she was sleep rumpled. "Please? Mommy used to."

"Yeah, do you want to get up here with me?" Alan asked as he prepared to scoot over.

"Mommy's chair?" Mae requested and really who was Alan to refuse? Mae wanted to be closer to their mom and if being rocked back to sleep in their mom's rocking chair did it for her then Alan wasn't going to balk.

"Alright, come on." Alan said as he climbed out of bed before he hefted his baby sister into his arms. He looked both ways before he left his bedroom to venture downstairs into the den. Once there Alan sat down, settled Mae in his lap and began rocking softly. "Anything in particular you want me to sing for you?"

Mae nestled her head against Alan's chest, snuggled close in his arms. The rocking was soft. "Lullaby for a princess."

"Yeah?" Alan rolled his eyes when his sister looked away. Of course, she wanted Alan to sing her _that_ song. Never mind the fact that it was from a kid's cartoon. "Okay, one lullaby for a princess my princess."

Alan started singing softly, slowing the rocking motions from fast to slow. He didn't stop to think that maybe one of his brothers might give him a hard time for singing a song like what he was. But if it's what his sister wanted, then it was what she got.

… … … … … … …

Gordon woke up and stretched silently. It was still dark outside, a quick glance at the clock told Gordon it was a little after midnight. He didn't know what woke him up, but his mouth told him it was parched so he stood to go get a drink from the kitchen.

As he ventured down the stairs, he heard soft singing. He stopped on the last step and listened. The song was peaceful but one he didn't recognize. He walked closer to the den and peered through the partially opened door. He could see Alan sitting by the window in the rocking chair, rocking Mae while he sang to her. It was not a familiar song. Not something Gordon recognized. He stood just out of sight, listening to Alan sing the lullaby. Taking a fleeting glance through the opened door, he saw Alan and Mae bathed in moonlight from the moon just beyond the opened curtains.

The blonds took on the shine of the moon's glow, Alan's hair was almost a bluish silver. Alan had his eyes closed as he rocked, the creak of the wooden rocking chair rails piercing the night along with the soft song. Gordon was loath to disturb. It was the most vulnerable he'd seen his little brother since both the day of the funeral and the day Alan came awake in the hospital after the accident. It was nice to see him with his walls lowered for once instead of up. Gordon often wondered what had changed his brother so dramatically. When they were kids, Alan was like an open book.

When the song Alan was singing ended, he kept up the rocking. Gordon stayed quiet as he backed away. He'd let Alan believe that he'd been alone, swore he wouldn't give away this moment that he could see his brother at ease, no longer guarded at least for a few minutes.

* * *

 _ **2nd A/N: So I've been dabbling with a new story(I know...ya'll ask "another story?!) So I heard from someone that made several months of my high school career absolute miserable Hell and it brought back memories of when I was in a very dark period. I wrote a story, using Alan, placing him in my shoes as the victim to bullying and was wondering if ya'll would like to read it some time? Almost the entire story so far (one chapter) is based on what happened to me, just a way for me to show people how bad bullying can truly get if you've never been on the receiving end. You can leave comment in the review if you'd like to read or send me a PM. It's just something I'm working on right now, still debating on sharing it simply because it's involving touchy subject matter. Nothing risque, but if I post it I will make it M to be safe.**_


	15. Break a Leg Means Good Luck in Theatre

_**A/N: Here's the long awaited chapter where Alan must perform. Sorry it's taken me so long to update, I've been trying to find time between packing for my imminent move and transitioning to my next class.**_

 _ **Sadly I don't own Thunderbirds or Aida, though I adore the Elton John and Tim Rice Broadway production. The songs referenced in this chapter if you're interested in listening to the songs being sung by Alan and his co-stars are in order of reference are Every Story is a Love Story, Fortune Favors The Brave, Not Me, Like Father Like Son, Written in The Stars, A Step Too Far and Every Story is a Love Story (reprise). I don't have any rights to the songs, so I tried to only describe the scene that plays out during the songs as I've seen the play in person only once. By listing these songs, I'm not insinuating that Alan sounds like the amazing Adam Pascal or Vanessa like Heather Headley. They're teenagers just performing for their school, at least when I took part in play productions in high school, we weren't professionals and made mistakes, but it was fun!**_

 _ **I don't know if other drama clubs play music and provide refreshments and snacks before a production, but my school did and I was perfectly content dancing around like a loon to Footloose and Spice Girls with my costars. My school got rid of the dressing rooms originally built for the school so our dressing room really was the cafeteria (which faced the street). One of my male costars did do like Alan and covered his eyes when he noticed the curtain wasn't covering one of the windows which allowed the girls to be seen in our underthings. We all gave him a hard time about crossing the barrier to close our curtain so we wouldn't deal with peeping toms.**_

 _ **Please refrain from posting negative reviews, keep it to constructive criticism if you don't like what I write.**_

 _ **Otherwise...enjoy!**_

 _ **Sad-Blue-Eyed-Angel 2010**_

* * *

Alan focused on his cereal the following morning, trying to put the play that would be going on later this evening out of his mind. He was nervous, though if asked he would deny it wholeheartedly. He was texting Chaz, planning the rest of their day. Chaz was going to come by in his mom's car to come retrieve Alan to take him to his last dress rehearsal before the big night. Alan had his script in his bedroom, and he was planning to run up to read through his lines for the third time this morning to make sure he didn't screw up. If there was ever a worse thing he could do, it'd be to make a mess out of tonight's show. He wanted to do a decent job, prove to everyone that knew him, that didn't believe that his stepfather had made a good decision in casting Alan with one of the lead roles, wrong. He was doing this for his mom and stepfather. They deserved it and he also had to prove it to himself.

"Alan, are you going to eat that or just continue to play with it?" John asked as he walked into the kitchen to see Alan was lifting his spoon just a little bit before submerging it in milk again. It was like he was mindlessly repeating the motion. He walked over and ruffled Alan's hair, breaking him out of his thoughts.

"John?" Alan asked as he jumped back into present.

"The one and only." John grabbed a mug of coffee before he sat beside Alan at the table. The space monitor studied Alan briefly before he spoke up. "What's eating you kid?"

"What?" Alan asked, the tips of his ears going bright pink at being caught unawares.

"For as long as I've known you, you've never spaced out like you're doing now. Something on your mind?" John asked, curious as to what was bothering his brother so much.

"Nothing's on my mind. I've just got a lot of homework with deadlines creeping up on me." Alan said a little too quickly before he picked up his bowl of cereal and took a mouthful of milk and bits of cereal to finish it off quickly. When he'd finished he hurriedly dropped his bowl in the sink and dashed from the room.

John was puzzled at his brother's reaction. He looked at the doorway for a moment, taken aback at Alan's flustered exit. "Does my breath smell or something?" John lifted his hand and exhaled before taking a sniff to make sure his morning breath hadn't acted as a repellant to send Alan on his way. Not detecting any bad breath, John shrugged before he grabbed his mug and walked out to the living room where Scott was sitting on the couch watching Saturday morning cartoons with Mae in their pajamas.

Scott was resting his head against his fist, looking everything like a bored older brother that was being force fed a My Little Pony marathon. The eager four-year-old propped on his knee was captivated by the pink pony doing something John didn't care to focus on. John tried not to walk in front of the TV until commercial break lest that upset Mae who was grinning like a loon and giggling at the pink pony on the screen.

When John did sit down, he grabbed one of the books that he'd picked up at the library with Scott's library card and buried his nose in its depths. He failed to notice the time creeping past them quickly until the Saturday morning My Little Pony marathon had ended and Scott made Mae go get dressed for the day before he started on lunch for them all. Virgil finally surfaced, hair tousled from a good night's sleep. Virgil rarely if ever combed his hair after waking up, it never cooperated with him if he did. It usually tamed itself through the day.

"Hey Virgil." John greeted as he went to help Scott make lunch.

"Hey." Virgil sat at the table and was only just getting ready to take a sip from the mug of coffee Scott set in front of him when they heard Gordon yelp upstairs.

"Excuse you!" Gordon called before there was thumping feet hurrying down the stairs.

"Are you going somewhere Alan?" Scott asked, glancing over his shoulder when Alan swung around the dividing wall from the living room to the kitchen, grabbing his backpack.

"Yeah, Chaz and I were going to meet up to study for a test on Monday." Alan lied even as the doorbell rang and Alan hurried from the room. "Don't wait up!"

Virgil, John and Scott were thrown off by the plans Alan had apparently made. They stood silently before Gordon came into the kitchen to lean against the doorframe.

"That boy." Gordon muttered even as the front door opened and slammed shut as Alan rushed from inside. With Alan's departure, the house was oddly quiet.

… … … … … … …

Alan glanced through the playbook before dropping his arm to his side. Vanessa proclaimed her love to Alan, though calling him by character name. Radames was what she called him and Alan replied to her before she began singing to him. Alan started singing back to her as he followed her around the stage. They were stopped by the teacher playing music on the piano and she told Alan he had to be more emotional when he was pleading with his co-star. He was fighting for her love, he had to make it more heartfelt – like her rejections were ripping his heart from his chest.

"From the top." Mrs. Phelps said. "And Alan, when you reach the last part of the song, I want you to come up behind Vanessa and embrace her. Remember what we practiced. Hold onto her like she is your reason for being here, on this Earth. You must make her and the audience understand that the love you hold for her is pure and requited."

Alan and Vanessa returned to their starting points on the stage. The music began again and Vanessa expressed her love once more before imploring with Alan's character to marry the princess. They began singing to each other, seemingly having an argument. Alan skirted around Vanessa imploring her with his singing and actions to make her understand he didn't love the princess – he loved her.

Alan walked up behind Vanessa, pulling her into his chest and embracing her. He nuzzled her neck, trying to show her as much affection as was possible while they fought. After the song ended, Alan and Vanessa separated as the stage lights went down. When it was over, Mrs. Phelps began clapping. "Let's start on A Step Too Far! The play is in a couple hours and we need to make sure we're good to perform."

"Are we going to do a full run through before the doors are opened for the crowd?" Alan asked, a hint of nervousness marring his features. He wasn't in make up yet, he wasn't even in costume. He was still wearing his blue-jeans and t-shirt.

"Yes, after we complete going over the songs. Then I want everyone to be in costume and we'll do make up. We've got four hours." Mrs. Phelps said, unintentionally ramping up the nervousness Alan felt over performing. His mom and step dad weren't here to see him and that disappointed him, but then he was glad that his mom wasn't upset with him before she died.

"Okay." Alan said softly.

"From the top!" Mrs. Phelps said before everyone gotten in their places to begin again. They practiced all the songs and a bit of the dialogue until Mrs. Phelps told everyone to go get into costume. Alan and Vanessa wandered backstage and grabbed their costumes before separating. The "dressing room" was nothing but the school cafeteria. The boys were on one side of the cafeteria while the girls were on the other with a sheet hanging between them to act as a changing screen. Alan glanced up at the window and realized the curtains were opened so with a hand held up to cover his eyes so he couldn't be accused of peeking, he went to close the curtains on the girl's side of the room. It wouldn't do for someone to peep in the cafeteria windows to see them all changing.

Once that was done, Alan went back to his side of the room to resume putting on his costume. He had a bit of trouble with threading the large fabric belt through the belt loops but when he walked out from behind the changing screen, Chaz, Vanessa and Maggie were there to help him straighten out his costume.

"I feel naked." Alan commented in regard to the gaudy red jacket he had to wear open. His pants were red also, granted he loved red, but this might be just a bit much if you asked him.

"Don't, you look great." Vanessa said after she tied the belt into a slip knot so Alan could get it off with no problem when it was time to change.

"I'm going to look like a girl, aren't I?" Alan asked as he was led over to the cafeteria table that was acting as their makeup station.

"You think that's bad? My character is scripted to run around in a negligée for one song, I'm glad Mrs. Phelps thought to have pantalettes and a cami made for me because you realize most negligee is sheer…right?" Maggie asked in her own gaudy red dress complete with the large red crown.

"I have to ask…what did the screenplay writer of this production have with red? I have an all red costume and so do you. So, do most of the cast." Alan said as he gestured to his costume, Vanessa's which was a burgundy red and Maggie's which was a deep red.

"It's the color of passion." Vanessa said as she sat down to let one of the students assigned to make up duty apply the layers of foundation.

"Right." Alan said with a sigh before he sat down with another girl and Chaz. He peeped an eye open when he heard Chad digging through the boxes of makeup. "You know you don't have to stay back here…right?"

"Yeah, but Mrs. Phelps said if I was gonna be back here, I'd need to lend a hand with makeup and hair." Chaz said after he watched how Maggie was getting her makeup applied. He picked up one of the bottles of foundation and powder that the girl doing Alan's make up had chosen for his skin. He laid out the tools for her so she could do Alan's makeup faster before Chaz was delegated to apply eye liner in the design printed on the paper. Chaz leaned in close to Alan so he could focus on drawing a perfect line before he leaned away and handed Alan a mirror. "Here, take a look."

Alan looked in the mirror handed to him and marveled at how different he looked. He knew it was himself, but he just looked different. The girl that had applied his makeup added a bit of shadow to Alan's cheeks and chin to make him look more rugged. "Whoa."

"You look really cool." Chaz commented before he nodded in approval at his best friend.

"Thanks." Alan said before he followed Maggie and Vanessa to the stage to get a lighting check. They had to make sure their faces weren't washed out by the stage lights. When they reached the stage, Alan swallowed nervously when he saw the groups of people gathered outside. The doors weren't opened yet to public entry. When he left the stage, he swallowed when his mouth suddenly went incredibly dry.

"Alan, you okay?" Chaz asked as he saw the dazed look on Alan's face.

"I can't do this." Alan said, voice squeaking as the nerves grabbed his vocal chords.

"Sure, you can. You've performed songs on stage before, you've got this." Chaz said in hopes of making his friend shake off the cold feet.

"No, I can't." Alan repeated. He was terrified of making a laughing stock of himself in front of the whole town, school district and student body.

"Alan!" Vanessa said before she ran over and grabbed Alan's hands to pull him away from the door. She dragged him over to the changing stations and there was the cast with a boom box. "This is a tradition for the drama kids to do before every production."

"We're not going to drink, are we?" Alan asked when he saw the plastic cups.

"No, this is tea for our voices. Here, you need a cup. We don't need your throat to start hurting you mid performance." Vanessa said before she handed Alan a warm cup with a teabag. "No, before every performance we listen to music, sing and dance to get rid of the jitters."

"Oh dear." Alan mumbled before the music was turned on and Alan was dragged into the midst of the goofy dancing.

… … … … … … …

"Why can't I stay here with Mae?" Gordon asked as he was dragged into a headlock by Virgil and dragged out to the garage.

"Because, you could do with a little bit of culture." Virgil said. He smiled at Scott when the oldest brother entered the garage from outside carrying a video camera. "What's that?"

"Mrs. Perkins asked me if I'd tape it for her. Her rheumatoid arthritis is acting up and she can't sit in the theatre seats." Scott said as he gestured at the camera.

"Is she okay to watch Mae?" John asked as he removed the car seat from the backseat.

"Yeah, I offered to keep her with me and Mrs. Perkins wouldn't hear of it." Scott said as he placed the camera on the center console in the front seat. "She gave me extra disks and an extra battery. Apparently, she loves supporting the arts."

"I like this lady." Virgil murmured before he climbed in beside Gordon. "It's a shame Alan can't come see it with us. I think he might have liked it."

"We can tape him down to watch the recording." Scott said before starting the car and backing out of the garage when the door opened.

… … … … … … …

"Guys, I'm really nervous." Alan said as he came back from peeking through the curtains at the crowd. It was a full house, there were even people standing along the back wall. "What if I mess up?"

"Oh nonsense, you'll do fine Alan." Mrs. Phelps said.

"Hey, I'm going to go grab my seat. Sean and Jared said they'd save me a seat." Chaz said as he came forward, having washed the makeup from his hands after helping the cast with preparing for the show. He turned to Alan and smiled. "Hey Al, you're going to do great out there…break a leg."

"I've already broken it once thanks." Alan replied nervously before he waved at his friend.

"When someone tells you to break a leg in theatre, they're trying not to jinx you by saying good luck." Maggie whispered to Alan when she heard what Alan said in reply to Chaz's disguised words of good fortune.

"Ok, breathe. It's almost show time people." Mrs. Phelps said before she gathered the troupe. "I know I wasn't the initial choice for drama director, but I'm honored that you all let me step in for Mr. Gregory. I know that he would be so proud of you all for all the hard work you put into this performance. No matter what happens tonight, if you mess up your lines or forget your cue, just keep going. The show must go on, no matter what."

Everybody nodded just as they noticed the lights above them dimmed briefly before coming back on. It was the silent cue to let those in the audience know that the show was going to be starting.

The volume of the crowd dropped off as people found their seats. Mrs. Phelps looked to the left, just off stage at the stage hand that would be controlling the lights and sound and they gave thumbs up. Everyone gathered backstage inhaled shakily when they realized it was time.

"Get out there and knock them dead." Mrs. Phelps said before the lights went out completely offering the cast a respite to find their spots before the lights came up. Mrs. Phelps stepped through the curtain before they opened to say a few words before the performance commenced.

… … … … … … …

Scott found just enough seats before they were claimed by stragglers. He sat out at the outside edge since he'd be filming. His brothers sat silently, each holding a program. Virgil was reading his silently. The stage lights came on to focus on a woman on stage just prior to the start of the show. Scott set the camera on the arm of the seat and had it all set up to film. He listened to the woman talk briefly about how hard the cast worked on the play and if they'd refrain from using flash photography, they'd appreciate because it distracted the cast.

"We'd appreciate it if everyone that has a pager or cell phone to please turn it off or set it to silent to have respect for our performers and other patrons of the theatre."

"Hey Scott." Virgil whispered just as the woman walked off the stage and the lights went out.

"Ssh." Scott whispered as the stage lights came up.

There were a variety of students milling around on the stage, looking at what appeared to be a museum showcase of ancient Egypt. There were statues on pedestals of Pharaoh's long past. One of the statues started singing and nobody recognized what was going on around them. Scott's eyes nearly bugged out of his sockets when one of the students on the stage turned around and happened to be nobody but Alan. His little brother wandered around the stage before walking over to one of the exhibits and coming face to face with a girl. They looked at each other before separating and leaving in the opposite direction of each other. Suddenly the student singing was the only one left on stage as everyone hurried into the eves and the set began to change. Students wearing all black ran out and hurriedly changed the set before Alan reentered the stage in a completely different outfit and started singing.

Scott looked at his brothers seated next to him and they looked back at him as they were taken by surprise. They weren't expecting Alan to come out singing. Alan was all kinds of theatrical, showing a kind of camaraderie with the other guys he entered the stage with.

"Fortune favors the brave!" Alan sang just before the lights went dark. The audience clapped loudly and excitedly, the brothers joined in the applause.

Scott looked again at Virgil to see his third youngest brother mouth 'I tried to tell you' to him in the darkness before gesturing at the program. The brothers sat by in silence as the play continued. Alan's character proceeded to take a bunch of Nubian women from the bank of the Nile river, taking them captive for the palace, one of the women refused to be cowed. She made it known that Alan's character dubbed 'Radames' could take her captive physically, he could make her a slave to the Egyptian palace but he'd never take her soul captive.

The statue that started singing initially was introduced as Alan's betrothed Amneris. She was the Pharaoh's daughter. Alan's character saved the Nubian women from being sent to serve in the mines, before sending one off as a new hand maiden for his betrothed.

It became clear to those watching the performance that the attraction, though strained was becoming mutual between Alan's character Radames and the kept in secret princess of the Nubian people Aida. Alan continued the verbal sparring match with Vanessa as Radames and Aida. There was laughter, smiles and more laughter at the hinting of innuendo periodically. It took everyone by surprise however when Alan stole a kiss from Aida, starting the song Not Me.

Virgil was wholly caught up in the production. Barely a blink except when necessary. He was leaned forward, elbows on his knees and head resting in his upturned palms. John sat by in silence as he watched the play commence. Gordon thought he'd have fallen asleep, but he sat entranced by what was going on, on the stage. Scott was glad he was filming, because if he were to ever tell his father rather than show this to his father he doubted he'd believe it.

' _Dad has got to see this.'_ Scott thought to himself as the drums sounded, alerting Radames and Aida who'd spent the night in each other's company that Radames' army had returned. Aida almost outed herself as the king of Nubia's kin before the lights went out. There was a ten-minute intermission, allowing everyone to get up and stretch their legs. Scott remained sitting as he tried to process that his baby brother was partaking in a drama production. Virgil slipped past to run to the water fountain so he could get a drink.

When the house lights flashed again, everyone in the audience reclaimed their seats before the performance resumed. Aida made it into the dungeons with the help of Radames' servant Merab. There Aida was reunited with her father, the king of Nubia. When it came out that Aida had a relationship with the captain of the Egyptian army, she was scolded and commanded by her father and king to break off their tryst.

As the play continued, everyone found their hearts gradually breaking when after a heated argument in song between Radames and his father, head architect Zoser, Aida was ordered to be killed.

Virgil's eyes misted with tears when Alan sang with Vanessa as they argued about whether the wedding should be called off. Alan insisted that a ship would be waiting at the docks, for Aida to lead her people to freedom while he was saying his vows at the wedding. Forever promising to remain faithful and true to a woman he hadn't loved as much as he did Aida.

"At least I'll have some measure of happiness, knowing you're free." Alan said to Vanessa before he met her gaze. Even Scott felt his bottom lip tremble when Alan kissed Vanessa before leaving the stage where after a heart rending song it was revealed that Amneris had seen the whole thing from a hidden spot in the courtyard.

Scott looked to his left and could clearly see Virgil's eyes were misty as were John's. Gordon was sat with wide eyes and his mouth hanging open at the events playing out on the stage.

There however wasn't a dry eye left in the audience when after it came out that the Nubian king was let loose from the dungeons. Radames discovered that Aida was the Nubian princess before freeing the ship from the mooring. Merab was cut down defending his princess. The rest of the play progressed to show Alan's character Radames and his lover Aida who were found guilty of treason would be buried together in the same tomb, to die together. A merciful act of Amneris' desire.

When the lights came back up, Alan and Vanessa were in the spotlight, kneeling together in a cramped box.

"Radames, it's so dark." Vanessa said, her voice shaky with fear at the enclosed space.

"Aida, give me your hand." Alan said, offering his hand for Aida to hold. They slowly turned so that they were facing each other, discussing how soon they'd be free from this current world. They'd be free and moving on to another world.

"Will you find me? In that world?" Vanessa asked Alan in a whisper.

"If I must search a hundred lifetimes, I will find you." Alan reassured his co-star, voice equally soft before they sang to each. Alan drew Vanessa to him, hugging her tightly.

As they lay dying in each other's arms, they expressed their love one last time before they succumbed to their fate, the last thing everyone saw of their love was their last tender kiss.

The play finished how it started, Amneris continuing with the reprise of the opening song once more taking place in the museum. Alan and Vanessa both make a reappearance as two people looking at the exhibit, having been reborn in the future where they'd found each other once more. As soon as the lights went down, the audience erupted in applause and Scott watched Virgil jump up from his seat to applaud with cheers. Virgil didn't hide the fact that the end of the play had made him cry, neither did John. Gordon and Scott on the other hand tried to hide the tears that threatened to fall at the terribly heartbreaking scene. Everyone stood up to applaud the cast as they came out for their curtain call. When Alan and Vanessa came out Scott whistled

"Go Alan!" Scott called as he clapped. He was blown away by the performance and he saw Gordon whistle with John cheering loudly.


	16. Accolades - Just Take A Bow

_**A/N: So, update! I'm moved and settled into to my home base unit. Hooray! Done with school in three days, double yay! And here is the latest update. So you'll read somewhere in the story with Alan describing his makeup soaking into his skin...that really happened to me. I had to wear this horrendous blue body paint for a play in high school because I played an alien and needless to say that I looked like a smurf for about a week despite the endless facials, body scrubs and exfoliating scrubs.**_

 _ **I've never hated the color blue more than that week.**_

* * *

Scott sat beside Virgil on the couch. They'd left earlier when it became apparent that Alan was going with the cast somewhere. They'd seen him hop into a vehicle with Chaz and the two girls that were the primary costars on set. Scott was watching John fiddle with the recordings on the TV set, transferring all the film files to a single disc and making sure it recorded appropriately. Scott was still blown away by the performance he and his brothers had just been witness to.

"Hey Scott, dad wants to talk to you." Gordon came down the stairs holding his cell phone out for his oldest brother to take.

"Okay." Scott stood up, glancing briefly back at John who was watching the video playing across the screen with avid fascination. Scott was glad he didn't know where the zoom was for the camera, otherwise he might have just zoomed in on Alan's face the whole time he was on stage. Taking Gordon's cell phone, Scott walked through the dining room into the kitchen. "Hey dad."

"Scott, how are you doing?" Jeff asked, voice warm and curious. It's not every day your children were thrust into a parental role to his younger siblings. It'd be only natural for Jeff to be curious.

"Amazed, blown away, amazed." Scott couldn't form words beyond voicing his awe at having seen his baby brother take on a whole other persona and perform without even a hiccup.

"Gordon said you guys went to see a high school drama performance. How was it? How'd you manage to get Alan and Gordon to sit still through the performance?" Jeff asked, obviously under the assumption that Alan wasn't a part of the performance but had been part of the viewing audience.

"It was amazing dad. Alan was awesome!" Scott said, he still couldn't believe his brother had done such a fantastic job. Now it made sense why Alan wanted to stay. Obviously, Alan had been a part of this from the start, before the accident and the death of his stepdad and mom.

"What'd you do to get Alan to sit still? I recall the one time we took him to go see a performance Virgil was in he couldn't sit still. He kept crawling beneath the seats and trying to tie people's shoes together." Jeff commented as he reminisced on that catastrophe involving his youngest son.

"I didn't do anything dad, he was part of the performance!" Scott said, wishing he could see his dad's expression. Stupid Gordon preferred his old dinosaur of a phone that didn't allow face to face communication. After eight years, Gordon claimed his phone was invincible. He chucked his phone across the room intentionally on more than one occasion to demonstrate that no matter how many walls his phone bounced off, it'd never die. Scott deigned that like Gordon, his second youngest brother's phone was a mutant.

"So, what was he, an usher?" Jeff asked, not believing that Alan would have had a very important role. Lan wasn't for the arts, that was more Virgil's cup of tea.

"Dad, you aren't understanding. He wasn't just _part_ of the performance, he _was_ the performance. He had a…a lead role and everything! He was amazing! You've got see it!" Scott gushed. He would deny it if asked, but he was gushing over Alan's performance. He was amazed at how amazingly his brother executed the performance. It was unlike Alan to be a part of something such as a high school drama production, but it was a pleasure to see. You have to come and see it, tomorrow is the last showing and there is an afternoon matinee as well as another evening performance! Please say you'll be there."

"Scott, I don't know. Your brother wasn't incredibly enthused with me being there." Jeff said, obviously more than uncomfortable with the idea of forcing his presence on his youngest son.

"Dad, he thinks you don't care." Scott said, voice soft while admitting the truth to his father. It was hard to swallow, but Alan maintained that he was nothing but a burden to his father, so their dad had to be glad when he'd lost custody to his ex-wife so he wouldn't have to deal with raising Alan.

"That's not true Scott, you know about how upset I was when your mother got Alan. I'd lost my little boy because of trying to provide a comfortable lifestyle to you boys. I lost my wife because of trying to provide for you all." Jeff admitted in a small voice no louder than a whisper. "I failed Alan and it's nobody's fault but my own."

"Dad, it's not too late. Just because I am their legal guardian, it doesn't mean you can't be their dad." Scott replied equally as soft. "I'm just their brother, nothing more. I don't want to be their dad. I can't be their dad."

"I know. Gordon told me about what Virgil and John had done for you all there. Why didn't you say something? If you needed cash, I could have given you a something to help you out." Jeff asked, sad that his son had had to go without.

"Because I was embarrassed. Isn't it obvious? I was ashamed that I was stone cold broke, with not even a penny to my name. Each paycheck I got went into paying for bills and putting fuel in the car so I could get to work and back as well as take Alan to and from school. Not to include the groceries. Do you know how much it costs to feed a picky four-year-old and an even pickier fifteen-year-old that will eat everything but the kitchen sink and still turn his nose up at certain foods because they don't look appealing?" Scott asked before realizing the subject of the question was almost exactly to what his dad and mom had dealt with. The only difference was that his dad and mom didn't have just a toddler and a teenager to feed, they had three teens, one preteen and a toddler, not including the budget that fed them.

"Well, your brothers talked to me and have convinced me to re-instate your pay through IR. So, you'll have that income to fall back on when times get tight. For the duration of your time stateside, you are hereby on suspended leave with pay, that includes health and dental insurance for not only yourself but your dependents." Jeff said, his voice telling Scott that this was not up for discussion.

Scott was now glad that Gordon had the old dinosaur phone so his dad couldn't see the tears welling up in his eyes at that news. He pursed his lips before taking a shaky breath and he wiped a hand down his face, trying in vain to obscure the trails of tears running down his cheeks. He wasn't usually one for crying, but all this…being forced into a guardian position for his youngest brother and baby sister, having to leave his support system back on the island, having to play the role of father and mother to two kids that needed both parents. It was hard and he'd been ashamed of the idea of asking for help from his family. He wanted to prove to them that he could do this without their help.

"Scott, it's okay to cry son. There's nothing to be ashamed of." Jeff's voice carried over the phone and Scott couldn't hide the watery chuckle that escaped his lips.

"I'm not crying." Scott murmured before he got ahold of himself and exhaled a sturdier albeit still shaky breath. "You didn't have to reinstate my pay, dad."

"Yes, I did. No arguing. Your brothers told me how you live paycheck to paycheck, trying to hold out on buying certain groceries because of cost as opposed to necessity." Jeff said voicing his displeasure that Scott had begun cutting corners to avoid not having enough money to buy groceries for them all. He'd even taking to using off brands than what he was used to and Virgil moaned that Scott's spiky hair drooped because the gel his oldest brother was using wasn't "the good stuff".

"Thanks dad." Scott whispered, thoroughly embarrassed by having his darkest kept secret through this whole hell of a mess made known to his father. Scott was glad that Alan was understanding on having to use kid soap because it was cheaper than the regular stuff, but it still made Scott feel like he was failing his brother worse than he did by not being there before the custody battle had concluded.

"What time is the performance tomorrow?" Jeff asked, in turn making Scott excited for the following day. He'd get to see his father and it wouldn't be over a phone connection.

"There's an afternoon matinee at one and another at seven. Are you going to be there?" Scott asked, spirit lifting with excitement once more at being able to see his dad. The last time he'd seen his dad in person was just before he'd left to return to the island a few months ago. Scott wanted his dad's reassurance that he was doing this sole guardian stuff correctly.

"I've cleared my schedule, so I'll fly out in the morning and be there a little before one. I want to see the performance, if it's like you described." Jeff commented. There was a touch of resignation in his voice, like he was doing this for Scott and only Scott, but the oldest son hoped his dad wouldn't be disappointed.

"We'll see you tomorrow." Scott said, barely keeping his excitement at seeing his dad and his dad taking the time to go and see the play that Alan had worked so hard on.

"See you tomorrow." Jeff said before he hung up the phone. Scott sat in silence for a few minutes, processing and digesting all that he'd talked to his dad about. He was going to begin getting his pay back from International Rescue, which was a godsend even if he didn't ask for it. It was hard to pay the bills, buy groceries and the like for not only himself but his kid brother and baby sister. He knew from experience that Alan was preparing for a growth spurt, he'd begun eating everything in sight and he wasn't normally that ravenous.

Scott sat in continued silence for several long minutes until he heard a vehicle pulling into the driveway. A call from the living room, it being Virgil alerting them of Alan's reappearance.

"Alan's home!" Virgil called before the rest of the house went quiet.

Scott stood to go to the front door to stop Alan when he entered the house, but he wasn't fast enough. He'd only just exited the kitchen to hear the front door slam shut and the pounding of feet running up the stairs. Scott went to the stairs and looked up, hearing a door slam shut before glancing back at his other brothers. They looked perplexed at Alan's behavior and a shrug from them all told Scott that none of them had gotten the opportunity to speak to their little brother.

Taking it upon himself, Scott went up the stairs and walked towards Alan's room but stopped at the bathroom when he heard the shower running. He stood there for a few moments, waiting for the shower to turn off and when it did Scott knocked.

"Occupied!" Alan called back.

"It's just me Sprout, when you get done with your shower you want to come down to the living room?" Scott asked, waiting to hear Alan speak up. When there was a delay in response, Scott spoke up. "We haven't seen you all day and the boys head back in a few days. I've already put Mae to bed for the night."

"Yeah." Alan replied finally. Scott nodded to himself before he turned to leave Alan to his shower.

… … … … … … …

Alan stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom, looking at the reflection which changed so much over the last few hours. What once was a baby faced teenage boy, turned rugged because of make-up and a bit of eyeliner. Alan would never admit to liking wearing make-up, if nothing else it was the worst thing to ever deal with. Vanessa had brought make-up remover to the cast pizza party which had come as a surprise. Originally, they were going to finish the play and head home, but Mrs. Phelps felt it was appropriate for them to be treated to a surprise dinner. Her husband had made a last-minute reservation at the local pizzeria and ordered all the pizzas to be ready shortly after the play ended. Vanessa had brought the make-up remover and sat at one of the tables in the pizzeria trying to help Alan remove the make-up, but she couldn't get it all. Alan had a fair complexion and his skin had absorbed some of the makeup.

He'd run into the house and hurried to the shower so he could try to get the make-up washed off before facing his brothers. Chaz mentioned at the pizza party that he thought he'd seen Alan's brothers enter the auditorium, but Alan hoped it was just Chaz pulling his leg. His brothers would never let him live it down if they'd seen him on stage. None of them knew he sang. Sure, Virgil and John had entered his chorus class, but as far as they knew Alan was a horrible singer and was just lip-syncing to the music. There's no way any of them would have wanted to go see the drama production.

Alan scrutinized his reflection in the mirror before grabbing his acne facial wash. He had horrible acne until his step-dad took him to a dermatologist to see if there was anything that could be done about it. Alan had gotten picked on routinely because of his acne problem and his mom and step-dad felt bad for him. The dermatologist recommended a certain wash which surprisingly was over the counter and Alan began using it every night before bed. His acne had lessened dramatically and for that Alan was happy about. Now he just had the occasional bump or flare, but having this much makeup on his face wouldn't help the problem. If nothing else it'd make it worse.

Alan followed the directions of the acne wash and once he'd rinsed it off he noticed the hints of make-up had faded considerably. He could still see it, but he was the one that knew the make-up was there. He hoped his brothers wouldn't be able to see it. He took his time with dressing in his pajamas, wanting to delay the inevitable. If his brothers had been at the play, surely, they'd give him a tough time about it when he went down the stairs to face the music. Once dressed, Alan sat on the edge of the bathtub. He kept hoping if he took forever, then his brothers might forget about wanting to spend time with him and hold off till tomorrow. However, when there was another knock on the door – this time from Virgil Alan knew he could prolong it no longer.

"Alright." Alan replied in resignation. He didn't want to make his brothers feel like he wanted nothing to do with them, even if he'd felt like they tolerated him on a good day over the years. He opened the door and was taken by surprise when he was pulled hard into a hug from the artist. "V-Virgil?"

"You were amazing Al, why didn't you tell us you were in the play?" Virgil asked as he continued the hug.

"What're you…" Alan asked, feeling his stomach sink with dread. Chaz wasn't pulling his leg, his brothers at least Virgil was there and had seen the train wreck that was Alan on stage.

"John told me about the play when he saw an ad in the newspaper the other day. He and I convinced Scott and Gordy to come along. We all saw the play." Virgil said, voice kept soft even as he felt Alan's face heating up against his neck. "You were amazing."

"Please stop saying that. I was awful." Alan murmured to his third oldest brother. He was woefully embarrassed at his performance.

"No, you weren't Alan, I think you could have given Adam Pascal a run for his money in that role…what was your character name? Rameses?"

"Radames." Alan whispered, lightly correcting his brother on the pronunciation of his character name. "You really think I was okay?"

"Okay? Alan, you were amazing! I couldn't have done a better job myself." Virgil said, softly chastising Alan for his disbelief in his own abilities as an actor. "Believe me, you had us all blown away by your performance. Even Gordon couldn't pick his jaw up from the floor, every time we thought we knew the rest of the play you surprised us."

Alan was quiet at the accolades he was receiving from his older brother. It wasn't that he thought he was a bad actor, he just had an incredibly low self-esteem and almost zero confidence in himself as a performer. It'd been getting better when his step-dad and mom would attend his mini performances at the Lean Bean and would shower him with praise. Or when he'd get a new haircut and his mom would call him handsome. But with their death, Alan's confidence had plummeted as had his self-esteem.

"Won't you come down to see the guys? They all want to congratulate you on a job well done." Virgil asked, pulling back from the hug to give Alan his most pitiful face. Alan didn't learn the puppy dog pout by himself, he'd picked it up after seeing Virgil use it.

"Alright." Alan replied with a sigh. He let Virgil lead him back down the stairs before he was smothered by his other brothers. "Guys! I can't breathe!"

"Okay, okay…let the man have some room to breathe." Virgil said as he shouldered in between his brothers and Alan to give Alan a moment to catch his breath. "One at a time."

Scott made sure he was first of his other brothers to congratulate Alan. He smiled at the kid and ruffled his hair with a smile.

"You did a fantastic job kiddo, I'm so proud of you." Scott couldn't say much more. It's not that he didn't like the performance, it was just…what could you say to someone that had hidden such a performance and had left you speechless? He smiled at his baby brother, beaming at him and seeing the shy smile in return on Alan's face.

John took his chance, hugging his brother tightly. He was more than a little proud of his brother. "Wow sprout…just…wow!"

Alan wouldn't meet John's gaze; his face was a bright red as he stared at his feet. He only looked up when John chucked him beneath the chin and forced him to raise his eyes. It broke John's heart to see his little brother so embarrassed if not a little ashamed at being caught. John lowered his head slightly so he could meet his brother's eyes, it didn't help that Alan was still almost a head shorter than John.

"Alan, that was quite possibly the best performance I've ever seen and that's saying something." John said seeing Alan bite his lip before looking away. John stepped back into Alan's line of sight and made him look him in the eye.

"Alan, you know me and you know I think plays are more boring than watching paint dry…but I can't lie…it was amazing." Gordon said, edging in and trying to make Alan understand that he wasn't just good or okay. "Your performance took the words right out of my mouth kiddo and I am more than happy that Virgil and John dragged me to see the performance. You did awesome kiddo."

Virgil who was standing back from the group with Scott could see how much Gordon's praises meant to their youngest brother. Alan had a fine blush on his cheeks that wasn't residual make-up. Scott wasn't about to tell Alan that their father was going to be in attendance for the next play if not both plays. That might give Alan cold feet times ten.

Once Alan had been on the receiving end of many accolades from his brothers, Scott felt it appropriate to break it up.

"Okay guys, let's let Alan have a break." Scott said walking around his brothers to forcibly move Alan to the couch. "Let's put on a movie and eat some popcorn."


	17. The Visit

_**A/N: Finally! Another update for this story, so sorry it's been so long since the last update. I thought by finishing school and moving to a less populated location that I'd be more free but so far my dad has proven that he can keep me busy. Rather than living in the concrete jungle, he's reintroducing me to my first love of the inland northwestern forest. On the plus side, I graduated college with the highest grade possible and I'm still in shock over that grade. It doesn't feel real and I keep waiting to wake up from this dream.**_

 _ **I'm currently working on the next two chapters of Rising From The Ashes and it's coming along nicely, so hopefully it won't be too much longer for the next update.**_

* * *

Alan stood in front of the sink later that night brushing his teeth. He tried not to be bothered when John knocked on the open bathroom door and held up his own toothbrush, inquiring wordlessly if he could also brush his teeth. He nodded silently at his second oldest brother to let him know that yes John could come in.

They stood shoulder to shoulder in front of the small sink and John was reminded of one of his many talks with Scott about how the house was decent sized, but the bathroom situation was another story.

 _'Barely a week had passed when Scott was on his own with Alan and Mae. They'd all made the same mistake of eating something that had sat out overnight and had spoiled. And they'd all been horribly sick with food poisoning. If it wasn't Mae crying that her tummy hurt, it was Alan and Scott both running for the bathroom simultaneously. Alan had it tougher than Scott, his foot was weighed down so he couldn't run as fast._

 _Alan was standing outside the bathroom when Scott finally exited. Scott felt as bad as Alan looked and he took sympathy on his brother when the younger boy trudged into the bathroom, not even bothering to close the door before he surrendered whatever was left in his stomach. Scott stood outside the door looking in at his brother wishing he could help him. The best he could do was to call Mrs. Perkins who'd been instrumental in helping Scott adjust to becoming a guardian. She had been a godsend to them all._

 _She came over armed with bottles of ginger ale and saltine crackers and she took care of them for the two days they were all sick._

John leaned over to spit out the toothpaste foam when Alan did the same. He held back to keep from knocking heads with his little brother. He was reminded once more of his conversation with Scott.

 _"I never want to get sick while living in this house again. It was awful not having more than one bathroom. I remember when we were living in Kansas when we were little and all of us got sick, we at least had more than one bathroom to rely on. This house, it was awful." Scott commented to John. "If I had the money, I would hire a professional builder to build an additional bathroom onto the house so that we could live at least a little more comfortably."_

After giving it some thought John wondered why his dad couldn't fund the building to provide a little more comfort to his brothers and sister. It's not like it would hurt his pocketbook much, if anything it wouldn't even make a dent. Casting a side long look at Alan, John could see that his brother didn't want for much. All he'd ever wanted was just a family. Over the years, since his brother was born John noticed that Alan only ever asked for small trinkets. He didn't ask for a car or anything expensive. Not at all like the rest of them. Virgil was the one with a more forward fashion, he had expensive tastes even if they were toned down. He liked his expensive running shoes, wore an expensive watch, bought a lot of art supplies, sometimes expensive materials. John himself was no better, he'd purchased a costly telescope so he could look at the stars, bought upgrades for his telescope, upgrades for his computer, equally expensive clothing. Gordon was just as guilty of spending needlessly. If they wanted something, they bought it. Scott didn't have that luxury any longer. Everything he earned went into raising a family.

"Hey Alan?" John asked as he watched Alan take a mouthful of water to rinse the toothpaste.

"Hmm?" Alan hummed as he swished. John waited for him to spit before he spoke up.

"I know it's more than a little late for a birthday present, but I forgot to get you something. If there was anything I could get for you, what would it be?" John asked before beginning to floss.

"Why?" Alan asked before taking a bit of mouthwash.

"Because I didn't get you anything, and I feel like the worst kind of brother." John said noticing how Alan glared at him with a sidelong glance. He didn't expect Alan to look at him before leaning down to spit out his mouthwash.

"Shut up." Alan said as he looked venomously at his brother. "Just shut up."

"Alan, I haven't gotten you anything for your birthday for the last few years. I kept telling myself I would and I never did. The only reason I did anything for Christmas was because Scott made us go shopping. Well, Scott and Virgil." John said as he stopped flossing to meet Alan's gaze. "I haven't gotten you anything for your birthday and I want to make it up to you. So name it, what can I get you that will make up for me not getting you anything over the years? The sky is the limit."

"You know what I want, and it's impossible to bring back the dead." Alan said before he pushed passed John and left the bathroom with a huff. John winced when he heard Alan slam his bedroom door down the hallway.

… … … … … … …

Alan laid in his bed, staring at a picture of his mom and stepdad. It was one of the rare times that his mom had suggested they go to the park and have a picnic. His mom was sitting between his stepdad's splayed legs on the picnic blanket, Alan remembered best because he was the one that had taken the picture. It was one of the memories he cherished. Alan had laughed at the idea of wearing the baby carrier with his two-year-old sister in it. Alan had been thirteen at the time. It was ridiculous that at thirteen he'd been wearing one of those wraps that held his little sister, but the toddler wouldn't quit fussing and she wouldn't take a nap on the picnic blanket. She kept crawling over to Alan and the boy was reminded that his sister was extremely clingy. She'd always been so. His mom had helped Alan with tying the wrap around his chest and Mae had fallen asleep the moment they'd finished.

They'd been sitting together on the picnic blanket, enjoying what little peace they could get now that their toddler was asleep. Alan had picked up the camera and had told his mom and stepdad to smile before snapping a picture of them both. They'd smiled at the impromptu picture and just enjoyed the silence that was a peacefully sleeping toddler.

Reaching out Alan grasped the picture frame and pulled it closer to himself, offering a smile to the fond memories. He wondered if his parents passed quickly, he knew from what Scott said after talking with highway patrol that they'd likely hadn't survived past the initial impact. But Alan still wondered. He didn't remember anything beyond seeing the vehicle barreling right at that them after being rear-ended. He'd known enough to cover Mae, using his body as a shield. The other vehicle had collided on the passenger side…the side he and his mom were on.

… … … … … … …

Virgil was waiting in the hall for Gordon to get out of the bathroom. He was leaning back against the wall waiting for his turn in the bathroom so he could take a shower. He had his eyes closed as he thought over the course of this entire day. It'd been an adventure even if they hadn't done anything but go to see a play put on by the high school.

Smiling to himself, Virgil marveled over his little brother's ability to act. True it wasn't the best play, some of the students in the production couldn't sing worth a hill of beans – but they put in honest effort and provided great entertainment.

Virgil heaved a sigh as he waited impatiently for Gordon to finish up in the bathroom. Scott and John had already retired for the evening, leaving Virgil and Gordon awake who weren't quite ready to go to sleep yet. Now though, Virgil was waiting for Gordon to finish brushing his teeth. The hallway was silent as everyone in the house was asleep aside from Virgil and Gordon. The house was silent enough that a strange noise from down the hall caught Virgil's attention.

"What the hell?" Virgil asked to himself before he ventured down the hall and came to a stop in front of Alan's room. The noise continued and after focusing on it for a few brief minutes, Virgil realized what that noise was. He frowned when it occurred to him that the noise was strangled sobbing. Virgil didn't bother to knock, he just opened the door and noticed how dark Alan's room was.

Striding towards Alan's bed, Virgil turned on the bedside lamp and proceeded to shake his youngest brother. "Alan! Alan! Wake up!"

Alan gave another strangled sob before his eyes flew open. A hand hurriedly flew up to shield his eyes from the glare of the lamp and Virgil moved the lampshade down slightly to obscure the brightness. Virgil looked closely at Alan, could see the sweat pouring down his face along with the tears that were streaming from his eyes. Alan was panting quickly even as he tried to slow his breathing. Virgil could see that Alan was in distress and he sat on the bed beside his brother and tried to calm him.

"Hey, hey…ssh. It's okay, you're okay." Virgil whispered even as he carded his fingers through Alan's hair, pulling his fringe away from his forehead so that he might begin to cool down. Alan looked back at Virgil with wide eyes that shone with the horror of whatever he'd dreamed of. Virgil continued his murmurings until Alan had calmed down. Once Alan could take a breath without hyperventilating, Virgil took it as a cue to talk. "Want to tell me what your nightmare was?"

Alan shook his head; his panting had grown shallow and he'd calmed but he didn't remember what his nightmare was of or about.

Virgil could tell that Alan was still in distress over his nightmare and Virgil nudged Alan so that he'd scoot over. Laying down beside his brother, Virgil hummed softly gently urging his little brother to go back to sleep. It was always how Virgil could get his brother to sleep when he was a baby. When his brother was a baby, their parents fought. Practically from the moment he was born they fought. When Alan was woken up by their arguments and Scott and John were at a loss at getting their baby brother back to sleep Virgil would hum until he drifted off. Even now at fifteen, Virgil could tell the humming worked.

Tucking his arm beneath his head, Virgil continued carding his fingers through Alan's hair. Distantly he was aware that he was falling asleep, but he was loathed to get up.

He didn't open his eyes next until the following morning when he felt Alan shifting under his arm. He dragged his eyes open and smiled at Alan before rolling onto his back to stretch. Alan grunting as he came awake and he sucked in a sharp breath to find that one of his older brothers had spent the night by his side. Virgil glanced back over to Alan when the younger leaned up on his elbow to look down at his older brother.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to keep you awake last night." Alan said, face colored with shame at having been caught in the throes of a nightmare.

"You didn't, I was waiting on the bathroom when I heard you." Virgil said as he looked closely at his brother to see the dried trails of tears on his face. Alan still looked ashamed and Virgil really hated that look on his brother's face. He had nothing to be ashamed over. "Hey, it's okay to cry. I know it's not seen as manly or you may think it's childish but it's healthy to cry."

"It's not that." Alan murmured even as his face colored further.

"Then what is it?" Virgil asked as he rolled onto his side to look at his little brother closely.

"How many fifteen-year-old's do you know that still need to be sung to sleep? I'm such a baby." Alan spoke with a look of extreme embarrassment.

"No, you're not. Alan, it doesn't matter if you're five, fifteen or forty-five. It's okay to still need comfort from time to time. So, you couldn't fall asleep without a softly sung lullaby, it's okay to need that from time to time. I know of a certain twenty-something brother that still sleeps with a night light on occasions because he's deathly afraid of the dark." Virgil said loosely referencing himself without actually imparting his secret to his little brother. He didn't always sleep with a night light, but he was known for sleeping with his personal bathroom light on and the door cracked to offer some semblance of light. There'd been a very bad rescue which involved him being trapped in the dark for an extended period and the dark made him feel claustrophobic. Anytime the dark felt like it was trying to choke him alive, he turned on either his bathroom light, bedside lamp, book light or the little night light that he'd secretly asked his grandma for. His brothers knew not to give him hell about it and he knew not to tease his brothers for things they did to feel better about their fears.

"Really?" Alan asked, deep frown slowly lifting to show curiosity.

"Yeah, it's okay to still need childish vices from time to time. I know of another person in our dearly beloved family that still sleeps with a stuffed animal when they can't sleep. A lullaby is nothing to be embarrassed about." Virgil said before he reached out and ruffled Alan's hair. "Your secret is safe with me."

"Thanks." Alan replied softly before he sat up followed by Virgil. They both stood from the small twin bed that they miraculously shared and didn't fall out of.

"Let's get downstairs." Virgil said before he grabbed Alan in a headlock and dragged him from the room. "Let's see if we can't make a decent breakfast. I don't know about you but I can only eat so many bowls of cereal or Scott's burned attempts at an omelet before I'll go mad."

"I heard that." Alan and Virgil jumped at the shock of Scott being up. It wasn't uncommon for the oldest son to be awake so early but neither Alan nor Virgil was expecting him to be surfaced from his bedroom already. The oldest brother didn't seem like it, but he was an avid reader that enjoyed reading in the morning before he started his day. "What are you two doing up already?"

Virgil and Alan looked at Scott before looking at each other with a wide-eyed gaze. Neither of them thought of an excuse to feed their brothers if they'd been caught. Scott smirked at the looks on their faces, but he didn't comment on it.

"I…he…we…um." Alan stammered as he pointed at himself before gesturing at Virgil.

"Let me guess, you woke up with another nightmare and Virgil was there to comfort you and he stayed until you fell asleep and accidently stayed all night with you…am I right?"

The look on Alan's face was amusing but not nearly as amusing as the look on Virgil's face. The middle son stammered in his shock. "H-How'd you g-guess?"

"I might've heard Alan thrashing in his sleep and went to check on him and found you with him." Scott said before he stood up to go have a look at his baby brother. Fifteen or not, he still worried about the youngest brother and his frequent nightmares. He wished he could ask his mom if this was normal for Alan or not, but he couldn't. His dad wouldn't know either, he was barely around when Alan was growing up, leaving his mom to practically bring Alan up alone.

Scott stopped in front of Alan and he gently cupped his kid brother's cheeks before lifting his face for inspection. He could see the dried tear tracks on his face and he wished he could stop Alan from having nightmares altogether.

"I'm fine." Alan said as he pulled away and went to the dish drainer to pick up a bowl and spoon.

"Now you are. But you weren't earlier. Alan you've got to talk to somebody about your nightmares. They're keeping you from getting a decent night's rest." Scott said, re-starting earlier conversations with his kid brother.

"I've told you before, I can never remember what my nightmares are of…what good would it do to talk about them if I can't remember what is making me restless? Back off…please." Alan quickly poured himself a bowl of cereal and added milk to it before leaving the kitchen, the telltale creak of the stairs telling Virgil and Scott that Alan was returning to his bedroom to eat.

"This is normal for him?" Virgil asked as he watched Scott sink into the seat at the end of the table. The silent nod from Scott bothered Virgil.

"Yeah, as far as I can tell he's always had nightmares. Sometimes he wakes himself up because of yelling, other times he won't wake up unless I physically shake him awake. When I heard him thrashing last night, I knew it was going to be one of those nightmares that has a tight grip and won't let him wake up unless he's woken up by me or in this case…you." Scott admitted, looking away from his middle brother when he received a glare.

"You've been hiding that he has nightmares from us? God, Scott we could have been helping him this whole time." Virgil seethed, hating being kept in the dark when it came to his baby brother.

"Well, what was I supposed to say? Call you guys up sometime and just report that Alan has frequent nightmares but I don't know what's causing them? That would be a great call. He doesn't remember what gives him nightmares, but I can tell you he usually has them every night." Scott said as he glared back at Virgil. "Don't give me that look, you can't tell me that you wouldn't do the same as me if you couldn't get him to talk about them."

Virgil looked away then, telling Scott that he'd likely have done the same as Scott. Withholding the truth. It's not like they could do anything about them unless Alan spoke about what caused them.

"I feel helpless every time he has one of those nightmares. I wonder if he had them when Mom and Brandon were alive, I wonder if they're of the accident. You know he barely remembers the accident?" Scott asked Virgil seeing the surprise and shock on his face.

"He doesn't remember?" Virgil asked, more than a little surprised. Alan took a knock to the head, but the doctor had been optimistic that there'd be no lasting damage.

"I asked him once what he remembered of the accident and he said he remembers the car being rear ended. Remembers looking out his window…the back-passenger window and seeing the truck's headlights coming right at them, remembers using his body as a shield to protect Mae. He said he kind of remembers opening his eyes after the accident and seeing the shattered glass, hearing the sirens and seeing someone shining a flashlight in the window, but after that all he remembers is waking up in the hospital, surrounded by us." Scott said softly. "Honestly I wonder if his nightmares are the repressed memories of the accident. He remembers so much of the accident yet so little. The paramedics had told his attending that he'd been conscious just before they'd lost him on scene."

"Well, maybe he just doesn't want to talk about it." John said as he came into the kitchen, joining Scott and Virgil. "I know there are times that none of us want to talk about whatever is bothering us. He's the same. Just let him come to you, if you push he's likely to pull back."

"I guess." Scott sighed defeatedly.

… … … … … … …

Alan sat up in his bedroom, looking over his script again before the afternoon matinee. He wasn't as nervous as he had been the night previous, honestly, he was looking forward to the next performance. He thought it'd been fun. He finished his breakfast rather quickly and was waiting impatiently for noon to roll around so Vanessa could come pick him up and take him to the auditorium to get ready for the next performance.

While he waited, Alan worked on the song he'd written previously for he and his friends. He added the part for the drums and lost himself to it until a horn honked in the driveway. Standing up from his desk, Alan peered outside to see Vanessa standing outside the vehicle. She waved up at him which prompted Alan to call out to her.

"I'm on my way down, be just a second!"

"Okay!" Vanessa replied when she climbed into her car to wait. Alan ran down the stairs and stopped long enough to step into his shoes before he ran out the door with a 'see you later' called to his brothers and sister.

… … … … … … …

Alan hadn't been gone more than a half hour before Scott came from the living room and grabbed his keys from the rack by the door that led to the garage. He asked if anyone wanted to join him before he left and was somewhat surprised when none of his brothers jumped at the chance to get out of the house. Scott hadn't told any of them yet that their dad had reinstated his International Rescue pay, debating if he should tell or if he should keep it to himself.

He started the car and backed out of the drive, intent to run to the airstrip where their dad was going to use to store his jet. It was a privately-owned airstrip, one that Jeff had used before in the past. He paid handsomely for the use of the facility and the owner was incredibly accommodating. As he drove, his thoughts returned to how much easier life would be with having his pay back from IR in addition to his biweekly paychecks from Uptown Fitness.

It seemed like no time at all before he was coming to a halt at the storage warehouse where his dad was exiting after of course he put a handful of bills in the owner's hand. Scott wrinkled his brow for a moment, wondering how his dad could hand out money so easily, and yet he had to be reminded to put a simple fifty-dollar bill in Alan's birthday card.

His dad came forward, hugging Scott when the young man climbed from the interior of the vehicle. Scott didn't delay, wanting to get back to the house and gather the group that had all eagerly agreed to go see the afternoon matinee of the play. When they were driving back, Scott was glad for the distraction of his dad checking his email.

… … … … … … …

Alan laughed when an inflatable microphone was shoved into his hands by one of the cast. They'd finished makeup a few minutes ago and like they'd done the night previous, they opened the windows and doors to the cafeteria where they were getting ready, turned the music up and made it a party. Alan felt less nervous just like Vanessa said, glad for a change that his new friend was on his side when it came to acting and not teasing him for being nervous. A mashup came on, mixing Hungry Like the Wolf and Rio both by Duran Duran and Alan who was familiar with both songs eagerly joined in when a few of his castmates started singing also.

Alan was familiar with having a stage presence for performances at the Lean Bean and so he just acted natural. He unabashedly jumped up onto the cafeteria table they were using for a makeup table, singing and jumping and pumping his fist. He was joined on the table top by Vanessa who sang along with him.

Meanwhile his brothers were leading their father up the campus walk, pointing out buildings of Alan's school. They were walking past the cafeteria when they heard singing and laughing. They slowed as they walked past the cafeteria doors and peered inside, Scott barely managed to contain his bark of laughter at seeing Alan singing with a girl on the tabletop. He knew he should have been upset that his brother was being reckless with getting up on the furniture, but he wouldn't spoil his brother's fun. He did however glance askance at his dad who was mildly in shock at seeing Alan the way he was. Scott thought Alan wore red well, wishing however not for the first time that his little brother's shirt wasn't open. His little brother was the only one in the play to become half naked, with having his love interest running her hands over Alan's body.

Personally, Scott thought fifteen was a little young to be put in such a position, though he was glad it was this play and not Rocky Horror Picture show. A few of his Air Force buddies dragged him out to one of those shows for bragging rights and Scott had never wanted to claw his eyes out quite like he had then. This was tame in comparison, so Scott wouldn't balk. There were certainly more worse things.

They all remained quiet, listening to the song. Virgil and John were smiling at each other and Gordon had a smirk firmly in place. When that song ended, everyone went silent when Alan picked up a guitar…his guitar and started strumming. The girl Alan had been singing with had clambered from the table top to grab paper cups of refreshments for them both. Alan started singing. Scott was surprised to see Chaz back there, but didn't think much of it when he saw the boy cleaning up the makeup scattered around. The other boy joined Alan in song and they smiled at each other.

Maggie, who played Amneris and Vanessa both started humming along and soon joined the boys. If they weren't apart of the band before, they most certainly would become backup singers when female vocals were necessary. Chaz wrapped his arms around Maggie and she leaned into him while they sang, while Vanessa climbed up to kneel behind Alan on the table top. The family watched the girl embrace Alan's neck, despite Alan strumming. Their dad looked to his sons, fully confused behind what the kids were doing and Virgil shrugged.

"I'm assuming it's to get rid of pre-performance jitters."

They stood by watching for several more minutes, watching the kids dancing, singing and laughing before the teacher Mrs. Phelps gathered the students around. Checking his watch, John rushed to get his family to hustle to the auditorium. They had less than ten minutes to find a seat before the lights would signal the start of the play. They missed the kids of the drama production gathering into a huddle, each one putting a hand in the middle before they cheered for themselves like a sports team would do. They also missed the chaste kiss Alan put on Vanessa's cheek and the way they held each other before going on stage.

The curtains remained closed while the kids ran around to gather last minute props and quick costume changes to match the setting of the scene.

"Places everyone, places!" Mrs. Phelps called quietly to the kids. She watched as everyone got on their marks and froze in near darkness. They heard the murmur of the audience quiet before the auditorium lights dimmed like the night previous. When the curtains, opened – the kids began to act out the scene. Maggie whose role was as Amneris the bride to be of Alan's character was stood on a pedestal in the museum exhibit for Ancient Egypt. When she started to sing the opening song, the brothers who had seen the play the night previous knew Alan was soon to enter.

Scott sat with a beaming smile on his face as he watched Alan, who was dressed in white came on the stage and walked around like he was looking at the exhibit with interest. He glanced over at his dad who was sitting in an aisle seat and frowned when he saw his dad scrolling through his cell phone as if disinterested in the magic taking place on the stage. Feeling hurt that his dad wasn't paying attention to their brother who had come face to face with Vanessa who played his love interest. When Alan started to sing after disappearing from the stage for a split second, Scott noticed his dad look up from his phone and Scott took his chance and swiped it from his dad's lap.

Tucking his dad's cell phone in his pocket, Scott felt the buttons along the sidewall and silenced the ringer so it wouldn't distract anyone should it ring. When the first two songs ended, Alan re-entered the stage shortly before a group of girls were shoved out by boys dressed similarly to Alan. One girl who remained steadfast, refusing to bow to Alan's character Radames despite him and his crew having captured them to be slaves to Egypt.

Scott watched his dad from the corner of his eye and saw him glance briefly down into his lap before looking at Scott who crossed his arms over his chest and returning his attention to the stage. The rest of the play continued without interruption and soon the ending of act 1 was coming up just before the intermission. Alan as Radames had just given away his possessions to the slaves before Alan started singing with one of his supporting actors who played a servant. As Alan sang, Scott watched his dad stare on at the stage. It seemed seeing Alan singing about being in a hopeless situation piqued his dad's interest. Soon they were joined on stage by the girls that played Aida and Amneris on opposite sides of the stage. It was implied that they weren't in the same room, the boys were in the fields with the slaves, while the girls were in Amneris's chambers.

Soon the scene changed from the song 'Not Me' and 'Elaborate Lives' to the song closing act one just before intermission. It was a dynamic song, with Vanessa as Aida rallying the slaves. The students that played the slaves were mourning that their king had been captured. Scott watched Virgil lean forward, attention solely focused on the scene unfolding on stage. When the intermission occurred, Scott knew it was time to face his dad.

"Scott, give me back my phone." Jeff said holding his hand out as if expecting that he'd get his phone back.

"No, dad…you flew out here to come see Alan's performance. You didn't come here to look at your phone, you can do that back at the house or on the island. Just, give your attention to Alan. He deserves that much from you." Scott said, regretting having to be stern with his father, but it had to be said. Alan couldn't continue through life knowing his own biological dad hadn't the interest in him past impregnating their mom with him.

"Alright, but I don't want one word of this getting back to your brother that I had my phone out." Jeff said, which Scott could understand. He wasn't going to tell Alan about it and he knew Alan wasn't going home after the matinee, but going to get lunch with his cast mates.

"Fine." Scott said before noticing that the intermission had passed by quickly. The play carried on, several songs being sung to relay the drama and romance. Soon Alan came back on stage, devoid of his female costars and entering a dark room. He was confronted by his costar that played his father, Zoser and soon they started singing "Like Father, Like Son'. Scott winced when the mentions of a slut was used in the song, but thankfully it wasn't Alan saying it.

Immediately following that scene, Alan appeared on stage hidden by the backdrop but with a visible shadow as Vanessa entered holding a piece of parchment. Alan's next song was the letter he'd left for Aida and she acted like the letter written on the parchment was breaking her heart. She covered her mouth where appropriate and pretended to fight back tears at Alan's closing words.

"I love you." Alan sang before the stage went dark. The play progressed, with Alan and Aida arguing about calling off the wedding, to Amneris discovering their tryst. Soon the wedding was taking place and word got out that the Nubian king had been released from his cell and the guards hurried to the docks. Alan's character was upset with Vanessa's character for lying to him about being less than a common slave, but he cut the rope that kept the ship attached to the mooring just before Merab was killed.

When Alan and Vanessa's characters were buried alive, Scott noticed his dad purse his lips like he did when he was upset. He wondered what his dad was thinking of the play and wished he could ask now. But with Alan and Vanessa sharing their last moments alive in the tomb, he knew the patrons; his brothers included would shush him.

Like the night previous, everyone was weeping at the end of the performance. Maggie re-entered the stage as the artifact in the museum exhibit, singing a reprise of the opening number. She finished the tale of how she claimed the throne and how the love between Radames and Aida played by Alan and Vanessa allowed peace to fall over the nation which had been at war. Alan and Vanessa re-entered as well no longer dressed in the clothes of their previous lives, but instead back in their white clothes. They walked around the exhibit before coming face to face and somehow knowing that they'd met again. They walked off stage hand in hand before the curtains closed.

The audience applauded, several patrons standing to clap and cheer. Soon the curtain reopened and the cast members came out in order of appearance. They lined the stage and various people whooped and hollered for their friends and family that performed. When Alan and Vanessa came out, they were holding hands still and both bowed to the audience with beaming smiles. Jeff surprised his sons by standing and clapping with a tremulous smile in place.

"That's my boy!" Jeff cheered further astounding his other sons that he'd seemed to enjoy the play.


	18. The Big Finale

_**A/N: So, here is another update...feels like a long time coming. I apologize for the delay to those that were waiting, I've been busy renovating a house so that a family member from up north can relocate and we've been working like busy little bees to meet the deadline. I've also been delayed because I was wanting to finish the latest updates to Rising From The Ashes, so to those of you readers that follow that story also...you've got triple the treat with this update combined with the next two chapters for Rising From The Ashes.**_

 _ **Reviews appreciated but I won't tolerate flames. Constructive criticism only if you have a problem with my story.**_

 _ **Enjoy!**_

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With the matinee having ended, Scott was reminded that none of them had eaten lunch. Scott knew Alan was going to hang out with Chaz and the rest of the cast, though he didn't know where. He assumed they'd be safe, not much could be done in a few hours that would cause trouble for the group ragtag teenagers.

"Let's go grab a bite and run home." Scott suggested, looking at his dad who was clearly looking for his youngest son. "Looking for someone dad?"

"Your brother, doesn't he know we're here?" Jeff asked as he continued to scan the crowd for his youngest son so he could tell him how proud he was of him.

"I think he knows, but he's embarrassed. He hid the performance from us all, we only just found out he was part of the performance by chance." Virgil said.

A clamoring sound behind them made them all turn, watching four teenagers still in makeup but in street clothes chase each other from the back room laughing. Alan was among the group of kids and before anyone could say anything, they'd all climbed into the backseat of a minivan and drove off. Scott was relaxed upon recognizing the vehicle. He knew his baby brother was in good hands.

"Where are they going?" Jeff asked, as if anyone knew.

"By the looks of it, he's going to Chaz's place. That was his mom's van." Scott said, shrugging his shoulders. "It's cool, she won't let anything happen to him."

"Do you even know her? Jeff asked, concern for his child coming to the forefront.

"Yes, I do as a matter of fact. I trust her to keep an eye on Alan. Her son and Alan are best friends, have known each other since Alan moved here." Scott said, more than a little defensive. "Don't you trust me?"

"Of course, I do Scott. You're my son. But it's other people I don't trust. We see what happened with Brandon driving. Your brother and Brandon's child were left without parents." Jeff said, not meaning to sound judgmental, but coming across as such to Scott. And that rubbed Scott the wrong way.

"It wasn't Brandon's fault dad! You read the police report, you saw the pictures. The person at fault wasn't paying attention and failed to slow down. It's her fault that Brandon and mom died, why I'm even here to fill the shoes left behind." Scott said, surprised that his dad was doing this. "What? Are you going to blame mom and Brandon for dying next?"

"Watch your tongue." Jeff snapped, making Scott angry. The argument was diverted when the three other sons had had enough.

"Hey! Knock it off the both of you!" John said, ashamed that his dad and oldest brother were not only doing this now and in public but that they were arguing over such a petty subject.

"John's right, this isn't the time nor the place to be arguing over such trivial matters. Can't you two just be happy to see Alan smiling again? I for one am." Virgil said, backing John up.

"I second that. I know I didn't act like it at first, but I'm glad Alan's got this. Yeah, I'm sad that mom died but it wasn't anyone's fault but that negligent driver. Knock it off with the blame game! I didn't call you and convince you to come out to see the play if it was going to cause an argument!" Gordon said, auburn eyebrows narrowing. "Grow up the both of you!"

"Gordon." Scott said, taken by surprise at what Gordon had said.

"No! I know it's stressful having to take on a massive load of responsibility, but there has got to be a better way of hashing this out besides having an argument here in the parking lot of an auditorium. You're both grown men, why don't you try acting like it?" Gordon said before taking the keys from Scott and going to climb in the back seat of the vehicle. Virgil and John took their cue from their next youngest brother and followed him. They silently climbed into the car and sat in stony silence while they waited for their dad and Scott to essentially kiss and make up…without the actual kissing.

… … … … … … …

Rebecca smiled at the kids that were sprawled out on her living room floor. She observed her son who was laying with his head held in the lap of a girl still in stage makeup. She was relieved that Alan had gotten in trouble, thereby getting involved in the play. It caused her son to frequently be asked for rides to and from the auditorium, which allowed her boy to forget about his heart break with his previous flame and find what she hoped was something good with one of Alan's costars.

Maggie was such a nice girl, much nicer than Chaz's last girlfriend and she was very polite. Hearing the beep of the microwave in the kitchen, Rebecca went to pull the bag of popcorn out to pour in a bowl. She'd promised the kids, Chaz, Alan, Vanessa and Maggie a hearty lunch when she heard the grumble of hungry bellies on the drive back to her and Chaz's place. When she returned to the archway of the living room, she observed Vanessa resting her head on Alan's shoulder as they watched the opening credits to a movie Chad and Alan had watched a million times.

"Okay kids, here's your popcorn." Rebecca said, watching four sets of hungry eyes lock onto the jumbo bowl of popcorn.

"Thanks mom." Chaz said, which was immediately followed by echoed agreements.

"Thanks Aunt Becky." Alan said smiling up at his best friend's mom. He was more than a little grateful for her letting them hang out until it was time for them all to go back to prepare for the finale."

"You're welcome sweetie." Rebecca ruffled Alan's hair, as she'd always done since Alan became almost like a second son to her. She didn't insist he call her Aunt Becky, but she didn't make him call her by another name either.

"Thanks ma'am!" Maggie and Vanessa said.

"Oh, don't be so formal. Please call me Becky." Rebecca said before she smiled at the two teen girls.

"Thank you, Becky." Maggie and Vanessa said in place of ma'am.

"I'll leave you kids to your movie. Behave." Rebecca said before she backed out of the room and returned to the kitchen, she was working on a needlepoint for the PTA raffle and she wanted to get it finished shortly.

With the four teens settled in the living room, Rebecca had oodles of time to work uninterrupted as well as another project.

… … … … … … …

It seemed like no time at all that the movie ended, Alan, Maggie and Vanessa were dozing on the couch – pushed together tightly like a can of sardines. Chaz smiled at the girl he was enamored with, his best friend and his possible girlfriend and quietly slipped from the room to check on the cake he knew his mom was preparing for the cast party later in the evening. He smiled at the various treats his mom had prepared efficiently while the recipients were holed away in the living room.

"Hey mom, they're asleep." Chaz whispered as his mom worked to get everything put into containers and stowed in the car.

"Thanks for letting me know honey. Could you hold the door for me while I take these down to the car?" Rebecca asked as she went to pick the containers up from the countertop.

"Here, let me mom." Chaz said as he hurried over and picked up everything before his mom could. He gave her a cheeky smile before he went downstairs to load the treats in the car. They'd need to be leaving shortly, Alan, Maggie and Vanessa had been cat-napping for a little over an hour now.

Chaz worked quickly, poking his head into the living room where the other three were coming around. When Maggie opened her eyes, Chaz offered her a huge smile before he went to crouch in front of them.

"Hey, time to wake up. Got to get you back to the auditorium for stage prep." Chaz said watching Vanessa pick her head up from Alan's shoulder while the other boy blinked owlishly back at him.

Chaz's mom swept into the room with disposable 'go' cups with filled with tea for the three groggy teens.

"Come on, almost finished then you can sleep." Chaz encouraged, hoping his friends started moving more than they were currently. When they did finally come around from their naps, they all practically jogged out the door as they traveled for the last performance.

… … … … … … …

With the end of the play came cast pictures. Alan and Vanessa were the last to re-enter the stage after the lights went out. When they emerged, they couldn't disguise their wide smiles at the standing ovation they'd received. Alan and Vanessa stood side by side and raised their linked hands over their heads before bowing with rampant screams echoing in their ears.

"Go Alan!"

"Great job Vanessa!"

"You da man!" Alan couldn't help but to blush at that cat call, singling out Gordon's voice among many.

There were so many more cheers, cat-calls and calls of 'Atta-boy/girl'. It was almost dizzying to see the flash of cameras coming from all directions and it wasn't any one person being photographed. They all were. Once family and friends had been able to get their pictures, next came a photographer for the town paper. Mrs. Phelps indicated that she wanted Alan and his group of soldiers to gather and pose. They did as requested, but not without more cat-calls from their friends and family. When Alan and Vanessa were next asked to pose, they did so but not without a little embarrassment. Several of their friends as well as the photographer asked if they would do a kiss pose for the picture.

Alan when faced with the prospect of kissing Vanessa outside of the play felt a little shy. It was different kissing her on set when they were just acting, but if they kissed right now…they'd be kissing as in real kissing.

Alan and Vanessa nodded to each other before just did it. Aware of the flashing lights, Alan and Vanessa carried on the kiss until they were told they could stop. When they pulled away, both of their faces were lit with a fiery blush each.

"Sorry, you have a bit of lipstick…here." Vanessa said as she reached up to fix the smudge of lipstick left from their kiss on the corner of Alan's mouth. Giving a smile to her friend and costar, they both left to go kneel together in the 'tomb' for another picture showing them in their final moments. It seemed like forever before they were all dismissed from cast pictures to the goody table that Chaz's mom had created for them as a reward for a 'job well done'. Alan had a cupcake shoved in his mouth, all but one small bite when Chaz tapped him on the shoulder. Turning around, Alan was surprised by Virgil.

"Virge?" Alan tried to ask around the cupcake, but succeeded in a very butchered, garbled version, sounding more like 'merge'. Alan took a quick drink of punch to wash out his mouth before he was enveloped in a hug. "What?"

"You were amazing! I've seen all the performances and I have to say that you got better and better each time you performed." Virgil said between tight squeezes to his brother. He was floored that his little brother had done as well in all the performances. He was glad to go to all three shows and if he was being honest, he thought Alan should continue to take part in the drama club and make participating in the plays a hobby. Virgil knew that he would if he could.

After getting his hug quota filled with his little brother he turned to gently push Alan in the direction of their dad and the moment he saw him Alan stopped, his eyes going wide before narrowing in irritation.

"What are you doing here?" Alan asked folding his arms across his chest. "Who invited you?"

"Alan, I know it may seem like a surprise…"

Alan cut his dad off instantly as he gazed back at his dad, eyes icy. "You're right, and an unpleasant surprise at that."

"Alan, give dad a chance. Please?" John asked as he tried to get close to his youngest brother. Alan was having none of that though and sidestepped away from John.

"Alan, I know you and I haven't been on the best of terms here recently, but can we please not argue? Can you just listen to what dad has to say?" Gordon asked as kindly as possible. He knew his little brother could be stubborn, but he hoped that Alan would call a truce however temporary and just listen to what their dad had to say without sneering in his face or openly ignoring him. "Please, just be civil."

"Whatever." Alan mumbled under his breath before he set his jaw and remained postured as if ready for a fight.

"You did an excellent job son, I'm proud of you." Jeff offered as a peace offering. Alan continued to look untrusting of his father, stiffening when his dad moved forward to give him a hug.

"Yeah." Alan said before he pulled out of the hug, looking more than a little uncomfortable at the praise being received from his dad. Alan clammed up immediately after that and his body language told the whole family that he just wanted to go home. He pulled away with a murmured excuse before going backstage to change out of his costume.

… … … … … … …

Once backstage, Alan brushed past Chaz, Maggie and Vanessa to go change back into his jeans and t-shirt. The other boy could sense his best friend was angry about something, but he was hesitant to get involved. It's not that he was scared, it was just that his friend had one hell of a scary temper. The three other teens were silent as they heard Alan grumbling. When Chaz made a move to go see what was up with his friend, he was halted by Vanessa who'd grown closer to Alan over the last few months.

"Let me." Vanessa whispered before she moved to the section of cafeteria that had been transformed into the dressing room. She had seen Alan in his boxers a time or two accidently after he tripped and fell through the changing screen they'd fashioned with a flat sheet. Alan wasn't modest, so therefore she wasn't either. She paused momentarily outside the changing screen before she pushed through. "Hey, everything okay?"

"Yeah, it's great." Alan replied shortly before he sat down to pull on his socks. He'd fortunately gotten his jeans on quick enough so that Vanessa wouldn't see him half naked.

Vanessa walked around the table and stopped in front of Alan before she crouched down in front of Alan to look up at him. Placing her hands on his knees, she asked again in hopes that Alan would spill.

"My dad showed up. And we aren't on good terms." Alan whispered, before he bowed his head. He gradually shifted enough to put his head into his hands before heaving a great sigh. "My dad and I haven't been able to have a civil conversation since before I was ten. Every time we're even stuck in the same room with each other, we just fight and argue."

"May I ask why you two don't get along?" Vanessa asked softly before she began to rub Alan's back soothingly.

"I blame him for my mom and dad's divorce. He was rarely home and he made my mom cry often. I can't remember a time where I didn't wake up because my dad came home from work late and they started arguing. When my mom asked for the divorce, I thought she'd take me with her when she left, but my dad fought her on it and he kept me for about two years after my mom left. Every two weeks I'd go spend the weekend with my mom and then I'd be forced to go back to my dad's and he was never there. He hired a nanny to keep an eye on me and to pick me up from school." Alan said, tipping his head slightly to look at Vanessa from behind the shelter created by his bangs.

"Dare I ask how you eventually wound up with your mom?" Vanessa asked before she moved to sit beside Alan, hand still left on his back.

"My nanny called out sick. Her grandmother didn't like when she'd bring the kids she cared for to the nursing home she lived in so my nanny who had to go visit her grandmother called out and my dad told my brothers to watch me instead. They already had plans elsewhere and they left me at my dad's by myself without my dad's knowledge. My caseworker appointed by the courts stopped by and when he asked to talk to my dad, I told him he was at work. When he asked to talk to my guardian I said my nanny and brothers weren't there and my caseworker left for about an hour before he came back with a police officer and a warrant and they gathered my stuff and took me. I was on a plane with my caseworker the next day to fly to Kansas where my mom had since moved and she got my room all set up for me. A week later we flew back to New York for the trial and my mom was found in favor and she was given total custody with me. My dad got limited visitation and despite the ruling neither he nor my brothers ever made any effort to visit." Alan was silent for a minute before continuing. "Neither my brothers nor my dad would look at me at the trial, they didn't even come to say goodbye."

"Wow, I'm sorry." Vanessa replied softly.

"I've never forgiven my dad, for not trying to keep me with him, for not trying to save his marriage with my mom and I've never forgiven him for leaving me behind." Alan murmured brokenly to Vanessa. "It just doesn't seem fair that every time I think I've found happiness, it all falls apart."

"It won't fall apart Alan. You've got your baby sister, and Scott. You've got Chaz, Maggie and me. You've got your other friends and you've got the rest of your family. Just don't borrow trouble and it won't come looking for you." Vanessa murmured back.

"Can I tell you a secret?" Alan whispered softly.

"Sure." Vanessa said.

"I can't get along with my dad…because I always pick the fight." Alan murmured. "I'm scared that if I let my dad back in, he'll just push me off to the side like he did when I was little before my mom asked for a divorce."

When it appeared that Alan desired comfort, Vanessa pulled Alan to her and hugged him before pressing the gentlest of kisses against his temple.

… … … … … … …

Unbeknown to Alan and Vanessa, Scott followed by Jeff had heard Alan's little secret and Jeff froze in shock at what he'd heard. Scott folded his arms across his chest and looked at his dad with a stern frown before he felt obligated to ask.

"Do you believe me yet about Alan thinking you don't care?" Scott asked quietly, making his dad think twice about his desire to nurture his empire instead of his youngest son.


	19. So Much Like Your Mother

_**A/N: So sorry for the lack of updates, I had to house/pet sit for three weeks at a house with no internet, I was 50 miles from the closest WIFI hotspot and I was also on wildfire watch...had four or five fires less than twenty minutes from where I was and was busily planning an escape plan for the pets I was watching should the wildfire get too close. I'm finally back home and the drought we've had going since late June has finally come to an end. Thank you God!**_

 _ **I did have adequate time to write chapters so hopefully you'll get more from me than sporadic updates.**_

 _ **Enjoy this update and thank you all for your patience.**_

 _ **I don't think I need to remind anyone reading my stories that these are AU and so I won't tolerate flames in my reviews. We're all novice authors and we all do this for fun.**_

 _ **Thanks!**_

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Jeff watched Alan later that evening sitting on the living room floor with Mae and he pondered how he could better his relationship with his own son. He wasn't stupid, he knew he'd hurt his son by leaving him alone often with either his brothers or a nanny. He just wondered how he could make the relationship tolerable.

Currently Alan was sitting on the floor, playing a hand clap game with Mae. She'd pestered Alan to play with her all throughout dinner and the teen decided to indulge her, taking to sitting cross legged on the floor and listening patiently as Mae explained the nursey rhyme Miss Mary Mac to him before they began to clap hands and sing the rhyme.

Scott was watching them with a smile before returning his attention to the coffee mug sat in front of him at the table. John was reading with one eye and watching his brother and sister much like Scott was with the other eye. Gordon and Virgil were both talking softly to the other while Alan and Mae recited the nursery rhyme. Several minutes passed with Mae teaching Alan different nursery rhymes that Alan was probably already familiar with and relaxing quietness until both Alan and Mae both yawned widely.

"Alan, it's getting pretty late and you've had an eventful day. Why don't you go on and get Mae ready for bed before you go on to bed too?" Scott asked, gently suggesting that Alan go to bed early without trying to earn a smart aleck remark about not being a baby from his little brother. Alan hated being reminded that he did have a bed-time. Scott established a bed-time for Alan when it became apparent that his little brother slept when he felt like it and that made it hard for him to wake up when Scott needed him to get up and get ready for school. It was a surprise to the patriarch that Alan willingly stood with a tired nod before he picked up a sleepy Mae and walked over to Scott so the little girl could give him a hug.

"Night Scotty." Mae said before she wiggled and complained to be put down. When she was set on the ground, she surprised the rest of the family by going to Jeff and holding her arms up indicating that she wanted to give him a hug. Jeff looked unsure of himself but when Mae stuck out her bottom lip wordlessly saying that Jeff not picking her up and hugging her was gonna make her upset the patriarch did and she smiled when she was hugged tightly. "Night Alan's daddy."

"Good night Mae. Sleep tight." Jeff said, feeling his heart melt at the affection he was getting from the little girl. He felt bad that he showed her indifference at the very beginning and despite the way he treated her, she still treated him with affection. Without thinking about it, Jeff pressed a quick, but gentle kiss on Mae's cheek before he set her down so she could run to her other brothers to wish them good night. However, Jeff was thrown off when Alan walked over and gave him a hug also. "Good night son."

"Night dad." Alan said softly before he walked away to go pick up Mae. John stood and hugged Alan before he gently pushed Alan towards Virgil who stood to hug Alan also.

"Night Sprout." Virgil said, ruffling Alan's hair and seeing the sleepy grin on his brother's face. "Go get some sleep."

"Hmm." Alan hummed before going to Gordon and getting not a hug but a headlock and a tear inducing noogie. "Night Gordo."

"Night buddy." Gordon said before he picked up Mae and indulged the little girl by giving her a tight hug. Once the family had bid the minors a good night, Alan picked up Mae and they retired upstairs.

… … … … … … …

Once upstairs, Alan took Mae to her room to help her change her into her pajamas. Once she was ready for bed, the little girl asked Alan to sing her to sleep. Alan was exhausted, questioned if he wanted to indulge Mae or not before he sighed. Getting Mae tucked in and ready for bed, Alan sighed before he started to sing softly before building in volume.

… … … … … … …

Scott had just taken a sip of his coffee when he heard singing from upstairs. He quieted the rest of the family and they all sat in stunned silence as they listened to Alan sing.

"Is that Alan?" Jeff asked, still a little surprised that his youngest son could sing.

"Yep, he's a good singer, isn't he?" Virgil said before he moved to stand at the bottom of the stairs to better hear Alan sing.

"He's amazing." Jeff said, blown away more than he probably should have been. He stood up and moved slowly, slipping past Virgil to go up the stairs. Scott stood up to suggest their dad stay downstairs with them but Jeff ignored his oldest son and continued up the stairs. He seemed to be mesmerized by Alan's singing.

When he'd made it upstairs, he paused outside of the painted pink and blue door. He listened to Alan sing and he smiled tremulously. His youngest son, much like his late ex-wife and middle son could sing. Leaning against the wall outside of Mae's bedroom, Jeff listened and recalled a fond memory when he'd first heard Lucy before they'd met, her voice so much like an angel's.

 _Jeff had stepped out onto the balcony of the student co-ed dorms. He'd been studying like crazy, midterms were creeping up quickly and he'd needed a cigarette badly. He'd been sitting down and had just lit his cigarette when he heard a sweet soprano voice singing on the floor above his own. He sat quietly, listening to the beautiful, but powerful voice sing song after song._

 _He knew he should be inside studying, not sitting outside on the balcony in the cold. But he couldn't get enough of the singer's voice. When the person singing had ventured closer to the balcony above, Jeff spoke up and complimented the person singing. He doubted she'd heard him but she must have had ears like a wolf because she heard his compliment and stepped out onto the balcony to talk to see who complimented her on her singing._

 _"Hello?"_

 _Jeff looked up and was left speechless when the beautiful blonde looked over the railing to look down at him._

 _"Was that you?" She asked as she gazed down at him and he couldn't help but to nod at her. Her beauty took his breath away and he just couldn't seem to get enough of her. "Thank you for the compliment."_

 _"You're welcome." Jeff managed to say before he smiled up at her. "It's refreshing to hear your singing as opposed to that noise that some people call music."_

 _"Oh yeah, my roommate…ex-roommate now though. She dropped out to move home so now I've got the room to myself." She said before she introduced herself. "I'm Lucy."_

 _"Hi Lucy, I'm Jeff. It's a pleasure to meet you." Jeff said smiling up at Lucy._

 _"Likewise." Lucy said with an easy smile. "What's your major?"_

 _"Business. And you?" Jeff asked after stubbing out his cigarette. He noticed Lucy fanning her face when some of the smoke wafted her way and he moved his ashtray to the other side of the balcony. "Sorry."_

 _"It's okay, I just don't like the smell of cigarettes." Lucy said as she continued to gaze down at Jeff. "I'm a double major with child care and arts."_

 _"Hmm, double major…look out world." Jeff said with a coy grin._

 _"Hey now Mr. Businessman." Lucy said before she shook her head. "Listen, I've got to go back to my studies. Besides it's cold out here."_

 _"Yeah, I'd better do the same. See you later?" Jeff asked, hoping that he and Lucy could become friends._

 _"Yes." Lucy smiled again before she told Jeff her cell phone number. He put it into his phone and smiled when he sent her a text so she'd have his number and he heard a cell phone chime._

… … … … … … …

"Dad?" Jeff was startled out of his flashback of the first time he'd met his kid's mother when Mae's bedroom door opened and Alan had stopped face to face with him. "What're you doing here?"

"I…uh…I just wanted to compliment you on your singing." Jeff said, seeing the distrust on his youngest son's face.

"Um…thanks." Alan said before moving to side step around his father who side stepped in the same direction. Alan side stepped the other way as did Jeff and the father chuckled before he took a step back from Alan to give him room to move.

"Alan, I just wanted to apologize for the way I was when you were growing up. I let you down in so many ways and I thought I was doing everything to make life easier for you. I know now that I was wrong in assuming that you'd want anything but your father and your mother and your brothers." Jeff said, following Alan when the younger started walking down the hall towards his bedroom. "I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, but if you'll let me…I'd like to try to make it up to you."

Alan was silent for several long minutes as he stood outside his bedroom door and he waited for a few moments longer before he spoke. "You're right, you don't deserve my forgiveness. You wronged both me and mom, you made her unhappy, and it led to her asking for the divorce which also led to the custody battle. If you'd just been satisfied with what we did or didn't have, you'd still have had me and mom…and mom might still be alive."

Jeff felt his heart breaking for his youngest son when he heard the tremor in his voice, but he could also see that Alan wasn't finished.

"I however am glad mom divorced you…because she met Brandon and she had Mae. I wouldn't trade my baby sister for all the money in the world. She makes things easier, even losing mom and Brandon. If it wasn't for her, I don't think even I'd be around today. I'm not ready to forgive and forget how poorly you treated me…but if Mae can show you affection…I suppose I should follow her example and give you another chance. It's against my better judgment, but I know it'd make Scott happy if you and I could get along."

… … … … … … …

Scott and John both stood up to talk to their dad when he came back downstairs. The patriarch was nothing but smiles and the two older sons were concerned, thinking Alan might have been curt and had snapped at their dad. It surprised them when Jeff sat with a smile and spoke of his and Alan's conversation. They feared that Jeff might have spoken of Alan telling him off, but they were taken by surprise that Alan had been civil.

"He was cool with it?" Virgil asked, surprise undisguised to all of them.

"He was the first to suggest it. I was just asking him if he'd allow me to begin trying to make it up to him gradually." Jeff said, speaking of his previous conversation with Alan. "He even let me see him off to bed despite his age. I was surprised that he allowed me to give him a hug goodnight, but he spoke that if Mae could be forthcoming with affection then he said he should follow her influence and try being civil with me." Jeff said, surprised that his talk with Alan had gone as well as it had.

"I have to admit, I thought Alan was going to be pig-headed." John said making Scott shake his head.

"Alan's not that bad. Yeah, he has his moments, but he's actually pretty lax with a lot of what goes on around him. I know he had a bit of a temper when he was younger, but I have to wonder how much of that was Alan being a pre-teen and how much of that was Alan rebelling the divorce and custody battle." Scott said thoughtfully.

"I know I've been a piss-poor excuse for a dad to Alan, but I'd really like to make it up to him." Jeff said before he looked at Scott. "You've spent quite a bit of time with him here recently, what would you suggest I do for him to maybe earn back his favor?"

Scott couldn't help the smirk before he shook his head. "It's not me you should be asking dad, might I suggest you ask Alan what he'd like to do with you and go from there? It's only fair that Alan have some say so in what you and he do together, it's the only way for you to build a better rapport with him. You're his father…not me."

"But Scott." Jeff started but the oldest son stopped him with a single look.

"No dad, I think that's part of the reason for the animosity between you two. I know he was mad at mom too for asking for the divorce, but neither of you asked him who he'd rather stay with. You two asked me, John, Virgil and Gordon who we wanted to stay with but neither of you gave him the choice because he wasn't old enough. That was the excuse anyway. You two didn't need to ask me and John, we were both graduated from high school. But you and mom asked everyone but Alan and then proceeded to fight over him like he was the chew toy in a game of tug of war. I don't blame him for the animosity after hearing him talk about it." Scott held his hands up before he backed up. "Don't ask me how to fix things between you and Alan, that's on you. I don't want to be responsible for things going to the dogs between you two."

Jeff was taken aback by the things Scott said, but he could see the truth behind his words. It wasn't fair on Alan. The one thing he and Lucy had been able to agree on at the time the divorce had been finalized, they both thought Alan was much too young to decide who he would rather spend the most time with. That had been their biggest mistake. They'd underestimated Alan's perception and they'd assumed that he wouldn't know what was going on. That was their second mistake.

Jeff knew Alan wasn't stupid, no…Scott had proudly shown off Alan's report cards to their dad even if Alan hadn't cared to share much news with his dad. Alan was smarter than he let on and even Jeff was beginning to see it and he'd only been in town for a day and spent what available time with his son. Once Scott left, it was only a matter of time before the rest of his sons removed themselves from the room and that left Jeff by his lonesome. Once he was alone, Jeff pulled his phone from his pocket and flipped to his calendar.

At some point his calendar had been updated to show that Alan had a few more weeks of school before he'd go on summer break. Jeff wondered if Alan would be keen to come spend some time with him on the island, enjoy the warmth and sunshine that was unlike anything available in Kansas. The parts that Jeff ordered for the Thunderbird crafts had yet to be determined when they'd be delivered. Still being on backorder, Jeff didn't know when things would be delivered.

Jeff wasn't distraught over his order still not being filled nor was he overly concerned with the rest of his sons taking an extended vacation. He was accepting of his sons visiting with their siblings.

As the wheels began turning, Jeff began to wonder what else he could do with Alan to win back his favor and he surprised himself at the thought that maybe he could include Mae. Alan seemed to be incredibly protective of his little sister and while Jeff wasn't sold on the idea of taking care of another man's child, he'd loved Lucy enough to sign the divorce papers and let her leave. He cried at her funeral, still very much in love with the woman he'd fallen in love with so many years earlier. He loved her, so he let her go and find her happiness…even if that happiness no longer included him.

Maybe accepting Mae, bringing her more into the mix would make his threadbare relationship with Alan grow. Maybe they'd start off with something simple. Jeff hadn't seen his mother in a while, maybe he could start by taking Alan to go see her…they could get a hotel room, have dinner, maybe go see a movie and try to work on their barely there relationship.

… … … … … … …

The following morning, Monday dawned too early. Jeff hadn't slept much the night previous and he'd been at the table when Alan came down with Scott. The teenager looked like he could use a few more hours of sleep and Scott was dressed for work.

"Morning boys." Jeff said, pushing his mug of coffee that he'd just fixed to Scott. "Where's Mae?"

"Virgil offered to watch her if I wanted to leave her today. John and Gordo were going to try to keep her occupied while I'm at work and Alan is at school." Scott said before he pushed his groggy little brother to sit at the table.

"Isn't Alan going to eat breakfast?" Jeff asked as he noticed his oldest son pour Alan a glass of orange juice.

"He can't eat breakfast. It doesn't agree with his stomach." Scott said before he placed the orange juice glass in front of Alan. "Here's your juice kiddo."

"But that's not healthy." Jeff said, knowing that breakfast was one of the most important meals of the day.

"Neither is being sick to your stomach." Alan grumbled while sipping orange juice. "I get food during fifteen-minute break after first period."

Jeff was a little surprised that Alan didn't eat breakfast like the rest of his sons, had wondered if maybe that was part of the reason Alan was always coming home from school because he didn't feel good. Jeff usually made Alan eat breakfast in the morning, often getting irritable with the youngster when he put up a fight. He'd then in typical fashion take his youngest to school and usually Jeff would be forced to call Alan's nanny to go retrieve Alan when the school would call to say that Alan was in their sickroom with a tummy ache. That was one of the earliest memories Jeff had of Alan before the divorce was finalized and the battle for custody arose.

"Take an apple with you?" Jeff asked, offering the innocent fruit to his youngest in hopes that he'd take it if only to please his father.

"Fine." Alan said before he took the apple from his dad and depositing it into his backpack. With a quick glance at the clock, Alan was up on his feet. "Scott, we gotta go. We're going to be late if we don't leave now."

"You got your gym bag Alan?" Scott looked at the clock and nodded in agreement before he ushered his kid brother out the door. Alan mumbled something about his gym bag being in the car before they left. Calling over his shoulder Scott hurried along. "See you later tonight dad!"

… … … … … … …

Jeff glanced at the clock, taking note of the time being a lot later than he'd have assumed Alan's school to be let out. When he just about ready to call Scott or Alan's cell phones a squeal from the living room made him jump.

"Scotty and Allie are home!" Mae went charging through the living room and into the kitchen to stop short at the door. When the garage door opened, Mae who seemed to have sprouted springs for feet nearly bowled over both Alan and Scott. "You're home! You're home!"

"Yes kiddo, we're home." Scott said before noticing the toddler had latched onto Alan, disregarding the fact that the older boy was sweaty from running at the gym.

The plus side to Scott working at Uptown Fitness was that Scott was permitted a limited number of family members that could obtain a gym membership with a discounted rate. Scott was able to establish a gym membership for himself as well as adding Alan to it so he could resume his workouts in the facility.

"Where were you boys? I was getting worried." Jeff said before taking notice of Alan's sweat-slicked skin and wondered what his son had gotten involved in.

"Alan comes to the gym after school and works out." Scott said before nudging Alan. "Go get a shower while I get dinner started."

"Okay." Alan said before he set Mae down to go upstairs and get washed up for dinner. Jeff followed Scott to the kitchen counter to talk with his oldest.

"When did he start going to the gym, I thought he'd been too busy with the play to have much of a life?" Jeff asked as he watched Scott open a package of hamburger meat before he began making patties.

"I told Alan after I got this job that he'd be allowed to come work out anytime, he's now done with the play and he asked me last night if he could catch a ride home with me if he came to the gym after school. I didn't see any harm in that if it was something he wanted." Scott said before he placed the patties in the frying pan. "I know I'm going to be out of turn by saying this, but maybe you should try it sometime with Alan; he just might surprise you."


	20. A Civil Conversation

_**A/N: Wow, I've been a busy bee. The house that I was house sitting is no longer my concern so I'm back home where I have an actual internet connection rather that hoping the airpack would work. I got back to my home and have had to help prepare for winter. I know, it's only October but I live in the mountains and we're already getting snow. It's been exactly a month since my last update, so now I'm just playing a game of catch up. Planning to finalize my update for Rising From The Ashes possibly tomorrow before I post the update. Thank you all to those that wished me a happy birthday, I went to an amusement park with some friends and had a blast. Thank you to all those that are still reading my stories and sticking with me. I know I haven't been the best with sticking to time tables, but please be patient with me.**_

 _ **Thanks!**_

 _ **Sad-Blue-Eyed-Angel 2010**_

* * *

The next week seemed to pass by in the blink of an eye. Jeff remained at the house, taking advantage of the long break that was afforded by International Rescue's hiatus. He thought it was nice to sleep in a little, not hear that klaxon blare to life periodically throughout the night. It was also nice to get reacquainted with his youngest son.

It was however a little unnerving to be learning things about his son that really, he should have known all along. The things he thought he knew about Alan had been far off the mark and it was humbling to find those things out.

One such example: Scott said he had a day off and everyone planned to go with Scott to the park when Mae being her cute little self innocently asked if they could go to the playground. Alan had apparently begged off going, having just come from school for the day and Jeff hadn't wanted to go. Neither party knew the other was at the house for a while so it came as a surprise when Jeff who had been sitting on the back porch having a cigarette heard singing in the house. He sat by, instantly thrown back into the memory of having met Lucy in the same manner.

The voice was accompanied by the strumming of a guitar and Jeff found himself mesmerized. A force of habit made him stub out his cigarette, Lucy always hated those things. He listened for several long minutes, hearing the words in Alan's song and wondering if parts of it was how he felt. He found himself lightly bobbing his head in beat to the song. Soon Jeff found himself venturing into the house and stopping just around the corner from the stairs. It sounded like Alan was sitting at the top of the stairs playing his guitar. Jeff saw the guitars the other night, but he thought they were just for show.

… … … … … … …

Alan sat as predicted by his dad at the top of the stairs, back against the wall, feet crossed at the ankles and legs extended to touch the railing on the other side of the staircase. He was strumming out a song he'd been working on with his friends. The notes weren't written down yet, Alan was simply working from memory.

He didn't know anybody besides himself was home so he didn't know his dad was listening to him sing and play guitar. As far as Alan knew, nobody knew he played guitar. He had a suspicion that Scott knew but then he'd have to be stupid to not connect the dots when Alan had been playing his guitar in his room the last few months since Scott took over guardianship of him and Mae.

As it was, Alan had been playing the guitar for a little over a half an hour before he was startled by a sneeze from downstairs. He immediately quit playing the guitar and if he could see his dad's face now, he might have seen the disappointed frown firmly in place when the music stopped.

"Who's there?" Alan asked as he set his guitar off to the side. He thought he was alone and he didn't know how he'd missed that someone in his family had stayed at the house with him. He was shocked when his dad came around the corner and looked up at him with…was that chagrin? "Dad?"

"Yeah, I didn't want to go to the park with your brothers and sister so I stayed here." Jeff said before he noticed that Alan's guitar was nowhere to be seen.

"I checked the house to make sure I was alone. Where were you?" Alan asked, still surprised that his dad had remained undetected.

"Oh, I was outside." Jeff said as he came closer belatedly registering the wrinkle of Alan's nose before his youngest covered his mouth and nose while taking two steps back.

"Oh god! Why do you smell like cigarettes?!" Alan asked from behind his hand.

"I was having a smoke on the back porch. You must not have checked back there." Jeff said, quirking a soft smile at Alan's reaction to him smoking cigarettes. Lucy had a similar response and she constantly hounded Jeff to quit smoking.

"Please don't smoke while you're here. I can't stand the smell of cigarettes." Alan said while he fanned in front of his face.

"You and your mother are very much alike Alan." Jeff said as he too stepped back a few steps from Alan so he'd quit fanning his face. At Alan's inquiring look, Jeff began to explain. "When your mother and I met, I was smoking on the balcony of my dorm when I was in my…oh second or third year in college. Your mother was in the room above mine and one night I heard this beautiful singing while I was sitting outside having a cigarette. I was mesmerized and sat outside for I don't know how long before I said I liked the singers voice. She stopped singing and after a few moments this beautiful lady looks over the edge of the balcony and my mouth went dry."

Alan's eyebrows seemed to knit together before he sat on the staircase. Jeff followed Alan, except he sat a few steps down to spare Alan the lingering scent of cigarette smoke.

"After your mother and I began talking, it occurred to me that I still had a lit cigarette in my hand. Your mother was fanning her face and her nose was wrinkled the same as yours was. She told me she didn't like cigarettes, I tried not to smoke around her or you or your brothers. She made me smoke outside, several feet from the dorm when we started dating. When we got married, your mother tried getting me to quit, but I guess the habit was too ingrained." Jeff said, fond smile becoming stormy. "I couldn't stop until your brother Virgil was born. He had trouble breathing when he was born and your mother wouldn't let me hold him until I kicked the habit."

"So why are you smoking again?" Alan asked, wondering why his dad had picked up the despised habit again if his mom had gotten him to stop when Virgil was born.

"I'm getting there." Jeff began again before he continued. "I had been clean from smoking for several years, I unfortunately picked up the habit once more when I found out your mom was pregnant with you. That was one of the many sources behind most of our arguments. Your mother wanted me to quit again and I was just too stressed from work and her having morning sickness pretty much all day. We argued every day about my smoking affecting her morning sickness because no surprise…the smell of cigarettes was a trigger for your mom's nausea."

"Yeah, she had pretty bad morning sickness when she was pregnant with Mae too. Her triggers then were cologne and fragrant deodorants. Thankfully I hadn't hit puberty yet so I didn't absolutely need deodorant yet but Brandon…he practically liked to bathe in cologne. Mom put a stop to that the first time Brandon tried to give her a hug and she ran away from him because she thought his cologne was too strong. I thought it was funny watching mom run from Brandon. He didn't know why mom was running from him and he followed her all over the house, thinking he'd done something to offend her and he kept trying to apologize. I sat right here laughing my butt off watching them loop around the house." Alan said, smiling despite discussing the memory reminded Alan that his mom and stepdad were gone.

Jeff smiled at Alan's memory. He'd have been guilty of repelling his ex-wife too, he wore cologne also and his mother constantly complained that it was too strong. Claimed that she could smell it from Kansas. Thinking of which…

"How would you like to go visit your grandma with me tomorrow? I was thinking since it was Saturday tomorrow that we could either all go as a family or you and I could go see grandma and maybe spend the night at her place?" Jeff asked, wanting Alan's opinion.

"Oh…uh. Sure, I guess…but Virgil told me that he'd like to go visit should I decide to go anytime soon." Alan said, feeling a little flustered at the idea of seeing his grandma again after so many years. It wasn't that he had anything against his grandma, he was simply afraid that she'd be mad at him for wanting nothing to do with his father.

… … … … … … …

Alan, Virgil and their father piled into the car the next morning. Scott wanted to go, but he got a call from Uptown Fitness asking if he could come in to cover a shift for one of his coworkers that had a family emergency. Scott was sad that he couldn't go to visit his grandma, but he figured if this visit didn't go over like a lead balloon then he, Alan and Mae could plan for future visits. Because of Scott being unexpectedly called in, Mae wasn't ready to go in for daycare and she'd thrown a fit when Scott woke her to get her ready. John and Gordon volunteered to stay behind to keep Mae and to calm her down. So, Alan was left with his dad and brother solely to go visit his grandma for the first time in years.

Alan was staring out the window, deep in thought as he wondered about how the visit was about to go. His dad had called his grandmother to check if she was up for a visit and Alan was surprised to find that not only was she up for a visit, she'd insisted that he, Virgil and his dad would come to spend the weekend with her so she could spend time with her boys.

"How're you doing back there Al?" Virgil asked as he turned his head to look at his brother from the passenger seat. "Do you need to stop and stretch your legs?"

"I'm fine…thanks though." Alan said as he watched the scenery fly by.

Virgil however, as well as their dad knew Alan was anything but okay. Scott had warned them that Alan was uneasy driving long distances in cars, a direct result of the accident. He'd suggested that they pull over periodically to let Alan out and walk around, even if they were in the car for a half hour. He himself had learned the hard way that Alan grew increasingly anxious when he couldn't walk around. Virgil had an idea though and it was a past time he and Alan could take part in that they both enjoyed.

Digging into the backpack of clothes in the footwell of the front passenger seat he packed for himself and Alan, Virgil pulled out his MP5 and plugged in the auxiliary cord.

"Hey Alan, how about some tunes?" Virgil asked, earning a wink and a barely perceptible nod of his head from his dad.

"I guess." Alan replied distractedly from the backseat. Jeff and Virgil glanced back at Alan and noticed at some point in the last few minutes, he'd pulled out a notebook and pen and was writing something.

"Watcha doin' kiddo?" Virgil asked making Alan look up for a second.

"Writing." Alan replied once again…distractedly.

"What are you writing?" Jeff asked, glancing back at Alan using the rearview mirror.

"Lyrics." Alan replied before he tried to get his focus back on the song he was working on.

"Do you mind singing it for us?" Virgil asked, hoping Alan would agree to it.

"No laughing." Alan said, giving his dad and brother a look.

Alan started drumming his fingers on the windowsill to get a beat before he started singing. The interior of the car was silent apart from Alan's singing. The front seat occupants both looked ahead as they listened to the words. Virgil was thrust back into a memory from his childhood and it wasn't necessarily a happy memory.

" _You know it'd be really nice to not have to be a single parent." Lucy's voice was loud to the occupants in the den watching TV. Scott, John and Gordon rolled their eyes at yet another argument breaking out and Virgil felt a sense of hopelessness. "You don't care about me, you don't care about any of them…you don't even care that Alan's home sick right now!"_

 _Alan had been kept home from school and Virgil was stuck with babysitting duty ala their mom when he and his brothers got home from their respective schools. She'd had to go grocery shopping and she'd asked Virgil to keep an eye on his youngest brother._

" _Hey now, hold on! I work in order to keep food on the table and clothes on everybody's backs…how can you accuse me of not caring of my children!?" Jeff retorted, angry and seemingly hurt by Lucy's accusation._

" _Oh really, then I suppose you care enough to know that you forgot our dinner date last night. I know you have a busy schedule, but it'd be nice to have a little help from time to time!" Lucy yelled._

 _Virgil had heard that argument before too. Far too many times in the past his dad had forgotten that he'd had plans with his mom, his brothers, himself and too many times they'd been stood up, intentional or not._

" _What more do you want from me?" Jeff argued back._

" _I want you to be here, I want you to help me!"_

" _Can you hear yourself?"_

" _I am doing everything! Literally everything!"_

" _Would you just let me talk?!"_

" _You don't care about me! You don't care about them! Hell I don't think you even care that you've got an eight year old who's sick upstairs!" Lucy accused._

 _"I do so care about my child! If you'd give me a chance to get a word in edge wise, you'd know that I am at a breakthrough! My hard work will soon pay off!" Jeff tried to reason._

 _"Oh yeah?! What more could you have to add to this conversation?" Lucy and Jeff began arguing more, their yelling picking up in volume. "I can't believe I married you! You're married more to your job then you are to me!"_

 _Virgil was fed up with his mom and dad's constant arguing and he'd stood up to go remind them that Alan was trying to sleep upstairs and it'd be impossible for him to get better with their arguing. He stood up and was about to open the door to the den when his dad continued the argument._

 _"That's not true! I'm trying to give you all a comfortable lifestyle!" Jeff yelled._

 _"I don't want a comfortable lifestyle! I want my husband! I want my children to have their father!" Lucy screamed. "If you can't sever the apparent marriage to your work for me, then I want a divorce!"_

 _Hearing the words 'I want and divorce all in the same sentence metaphorically and literally knocked the wind out of him. Virgil stumbled to a stop and he turned his head back to look at his brothers to make sure they had heard what he had._

 _The looks of desolation on their faces confirmed for Virgil that he hadn't misheard. Tears pricked his eyes at the thought that his mom wanted to leave his dad, was no longer happy in her marriage and it hurt._

Listening to Alan's song hit him in the heart. He wondered if the song was based on Alan and their dad's failed relationship, Virgil never was metaphorically abandoned by their dad. He'd been given a choice of who to stay with, he had chosen his dad. Alan hadn't been given a choice.

 _Lucy had told each of her sons at one of the few dinners her husband, soon to be ex-husband actually managed to attend. They were having a family meeting after dinner, they would have to put any plans they had off until the meeting was over. When dinner was over, Alan was excused…told by both their mom and dad that he had homework he needed to finish and there was no room for procrastination. Alan had softly reminded his mom and dad of the family meeting and they simply shook their heads, maintaining that Alan was excused from the meeting and had strict orders to finish his homework, upstairs, in his bedroom and his mom would be up after the meeting to look over his homework for mistakes._

 _The meeting had consisted of their mom and dad telling the boys, with the exception of Alan that they'd already been to their respective attorney and had filed for divorce. The boys were expected to decide which parent they'd prefer to stay with and it was like a swift right hook to Virgil's stomach when they'd all opted to stay with their dad. The look on their mom's face was completely heartbroken, but she steeled herself against her tears and nodded once before excusing herself to go check on Alan's progress with completing homework problems._

 _Virgil felt positively sick in the following days after deciding he'd rather stay with his dad while his mom walked around, silent as a statue gathering her various household things and pack them away into boxes. Too many times he and his mom came face to face and Virgil would try to say something, apologize and ask for her forgiveness when she'd slip by him wordlessly, betrayal audible in all her body language._

 _So many times, he'd questioned the wisdom behind his decision…but most of all he questioned his decision when he and his little brother Gordon were told by their dad that in no uncertain circumstances they would be attending a private boarding school until they graduated and that school was clear on the other side of the United States continent. Virgil contemplated more than once calling his mom and asking her if she'd allow him to come stay with her and Alan._

Virgil came back to himself when he heard silence in the backseat and he glanced back at Alan to see he was looking unsure of himself. A single glance at their dad told Virgil that he was floored by the song.

"That was amazing Alan." Virgil said, recognizing Alan's ability to not only write meaningful lyrics, but songs that carried emotion. "How do you do that?"

"Thanks, I guess…I just start writing, not really writing for anything in particular." Alan said, trailing off as if lost in thought. Virgil and Jeff didn't ask for further explanation. They knew the song was based on Alan's life.


	21. Do What Makes Them Happy

_**A/N: Hey y'all! So sorry that it's been so long since my last update, I've been studying like a madwoman for my boards. Keep your fingers crossed that I pass my boards and can become certified! On top of that I was taking care of an elderly friend and neighbor who has since passed on. I also have to admit that I was working on that story that involves bullying, I'm just cleaning up any mistakes I find as I read through it. It's a lot longer than expected, though hopefully it won't be a disappointment. I'm really nervous about it because it's a subject that really is still a real sore spot with me. Ten years be damned. It involves subject matter that doesn't really stick true to the Thunderbirds universe, but since when do a lot of fanfiction stories ever stick true to form?**_

 ** _I also have been working on another story which I am considering done, just making small changes here and there before I post. I'm trying to think of a decent title than what I've got currently but nothing is coming to mind immediately. If you check down at the very end of this chapter, I'll post the synopsis to the other story I've taken to working on among the many other stories I've got in the works and if anyone had any suggestions for title names I'll give credit to when I post it._**

 ** _I don't think I need to remind viewers to stick to constructive criticism and if you don't like what I post...don't read it. Simple as that._**

 ** _Enjoy!_**

 ** _Sad-Blue-Eyed-Angel 2010_**

* * *

"Alan! Virgil! Jeff!" Alan groaned internally when he heard his grandma's voice squeal ecstatically from the porch. Yes, she squealed. He never knew his quiet grandma could be so loud…or so fast.

Alan found himself pulled into a tight embrace and Alan was embarrassed to have his face smushed into his grandmother's bosom. He tried to ignore the stifled snorts from Virgil. It's not that he didn't like his grandma, he just feared seeing the look of disappointment on her face that he refused to speak to his father.

"Shush Virgil and get over here for your hug!" Grandma said as she released Alan from the strangle hold to move on to Virgil. The older brother smiled but Alan could tell that much like Alan, he didn't like being squeezed within an inch of his life.

"Hi, mom." Jeff said when he noticed Virgil's face turning pink from being squeezed so tight.

"Jeff! Oh, my you haven't changed!" Grandma said excitedly as she released Virgil from the hug to grab onto Jeff. She tenderly took his face in hand before planting one of many kisses on Jeff's forehead and cheeks. After she'd adequately covered Jeff's face in kisses and layers of lipstick, she finally moved on. "Come on in, don't just stand around out here."

Jeff gestured at his sons to go on ahead of him and he brought up the rear. Soon Alan found himself in his grandmother's homey, quaint and relaxing house for the first time in many years. He looked around, noticing his grandmothers many knickknacks, pictures and a piano he never knew his grandmother played.

"Welcome Alan, my god you've gotten so big." Grandma said before she took in that Alan was still standing rather than making himself at home like his father and brother. "Come, come on in and make yourself comfortable."

"Um, okay." Alan said unsure of himself as he made his way to the loveseat and he sat on the edge of the seat. He put his hands on his knees and sat with his lips sucked into his mouth as he looked around again at his grandmother's house. Virgil noticed his brother looked uncomfortable and he gave a split second of thought before he stood up with a flourish.

"Hey Al, let me show you the room we're gonna stay in. Normally Gordo and I stay in the same room, but since you're here we can share." Virgil said. He got Alan to stand and he smiled reassuringly at his younger sibling. When they'd gone up the stairs, Virgil closed the bedroom door so he could talk to Alan. "Hey, this is neutral territory. Just act like you do back at the house, I swear Grandma won't mind if you act like yourself."

"I just…I'm afraid that she hates me. I haven't been to visit her since I came to live with mom." Alan said, a little on the defense.

"Uh, newsflash kiddo. Grandma nearly smothered you in the driveway with her hugs. She loves you and she's always asked about you in previous visits. She could never hate you, unless you…I don't know told her you hated her first. But then she'd just love you more to change your mind."

"I'm beginning to think this was a bad idea." Alan murmured softly under his breath as he went to sit on the bed. There was a second bed just on the other side of the bed side table that was separating the room. Alan hunched his shoulders, lowering his head down marginally. Virgil could see the discomfort on his brother's face and he went to sit beside his brother.

"Alan, relax. You're thinking grandma is mad at you for not coming to visit all these years and I can say that that isn't the case at all. She may have missed you, but she isn't mad at you for staying away. If that was the case, I think mom should have been mad at all of us for not coming around to visit. She's just glad you're here." Virgil said, trying to put his brother at ease. A quick glance at his watch however told Virgil that they'd been M.I.A. for a while now and their dad or grandmother was bound to come see what was going on shortly. "Come on kiddo, dad and grandma are probably wondering if we got abducted by aliens or eaten by the boogeyman."

"Aliens and the boogeyman don't exist. You know I stopped being scared of those stories when I was six." Alan said quirking an eyebrow in humor at his brother.

"Didn't stop you from doing those running leaps from the doorway of our bedroom to your level of the bunk bed you and Gordon shared when you were a little kid." Virgil said with a chuckle.

"I was a little kid! Do you blame me?" Alan said, feeling more at ease now that Virgil had made him relax.

"No, especially since it was Scott feeding all those stories to you and traumatizing your innocent mind." Virgil said with a smirk.

"It wasn't all Scott, you and Gordo did it too." Alan said, lightly punching his brother in the bicep with an easygoing smile.

"Oh, ye of little faith. I was always the one that read those stories to you with those _cute_ little voices." Virgil said, whilst grabbing Alan in a headlock and pulling him close. "Come on, dad and grandma are probably wondering if we came to visit just to stare at the bedroom wall."

"Okay." Alan said, unsure of actually going down the stairs to meet with his grandma.

"It'll be fine, you'll be fine." Virgil said before leading Alan the rest of the way down the stairs.

"Alan, Virgil – come sit down over here. Let me get a look at you." Grandma said, much calmer than she had been previously.

Alan and Virgil walked over to the loveseat and Virgil gestured for Alan to take a seat first. The younger sat once more before Virgil sat beside him and they became reacquainted with each other.

… … … … … … …

Gordon was sitting on the couch, playing a game on his cell phone when Mae came in from the kitchen. She crawled up onto the couch with Gordon and decided that because Gordon was there, that he was going to be her new cuddle buddy. Gordon gave pause when his lap gained the occupant in the form of his baby sister and he stopped playing his game to glance down at the little girl that decided he was the new jungle gym.

"Mae, what are you doing?" Gordon asked, unsure about having a toddler climbing all over him.

Mae didn't say anything. She clung tighter to Gordon and Gordon noticed a second too late when Mae's bottom lip started trembling and her eyes welled up with tears.

"I had a bad dream…I want Allie." Mae whispered, tears growing more and more as the seconds passed. Gordon began rocking the toddler, at a loss for how to comfort her.

"Alan is on his way to visit our grandma and he won't be back tonight." Gordon said, jumping in shock when Mae began bawling loudly. "Oh my god! Mae, please stop crying!"

"I want Allie!" Mae cried, growing steadily louder. Her crying and Gordon's attempts to stop her tears gained the attention of John and he walked into the living room in surprise.

"Hey, what's going on here? What's with the waterworks?" John asked, going straight over to Gordon and Mae before squatting down in front of them.

"Mae told me she had a bad dream and that she wanted Alan…when I told her he wasn't going to be back tonight she started crying." Gordon hurried to explain.

"Aw, Mae honey, it's okay." John said as he stood up, picking up Mae and holding her close in attempt to calm her down. "Ssh, you're okay. Alan will be back a little later. You get to stay here with me, Scott and Gordon…won't that be fun?"

"I want Allie!" Mae continued wailing, not calming down for all the money in the world.

"Tell you what, I was going to use my grandma's old family recipe and make some chocolate chip cookies…you want to be my helper? And between you and me, I'll even let you have some chocolate chips. Doesn't that sound like a deal?" John said, hoping to get Mae to calm down. It worked and soon Mae's tears were all but dried up and John was walking around the living room bouncing her in his arms. "There now, no more tears. We don't want Gordon pulling hair out."

"I'm not pulling my hair out." Gordon said, looking sad to be used as a pawn in John's attempts to get Mae to quit crying.

"You might have been." John said before he slung Mae up over his shoulders and began spinning around, making Mae squeal with delight.

"Faster! Faster!" Mae crowed, giggles prevailing over her sniffles.

"You better hang on!" John insisted before he started spinning faster, making himself dizzy and proving that anything can cheer up a cranky toddler. When he finally stopped, John had to hold on to the back of the couch as he waited for his vision to right itself.

"When will Scotty be back home?" Mae asked, using the back of her hand to wipe away her tears.

"He's at work right now, but he'll be back home in a few hours." John said, while pulling Mae back over his shoulder so he could talk directly to the toddler. "Did you want to bake Scott some of his favorite cookies?"

"Scotty likes choco-chip?" Mae asked, eyes going wide as she grew animated.

"Yeah, he's always loved our grandma's cookies." John said, quirking a grin at the large smile forming on Mae's face. "What do you say you go get dressed and we'll get started baking?"

"But I can't reach 'em." Mae said, frowning as she pondered over how she was supposed to get dressed.

"I'm sure Gordon can take you up to let you look through your closet. I'll get everything gathered for baking." John said while he walked over to pass the toddler over to his younger brother.

"Why me?" Gordon asked, more than a little stunned that his older brother had nominated him as the sole occupant to have to enter the domain of a girl. This however wasn't the first time that Gordon had seen the inside of Mae's bedroom. He and Alan had been talking when Alan had declared it Mae's bedtime a few nights ago and they'd continued their conversation while Alan had gotten Mae to take her bath and get her ready for bed. Gordon had sat in the bathroom on the sink counter while Alan had knelt on the floor beside the bathtub, bathing Mae. When Mae was finished with her bath, she'd allowed Alan to get her tucked into bed without argument and the redhead had glanced around the room at the designs on the wall.

Mae's bedroom was covered in all things girly. Her bedroom walls were pink on one side, blue on the other. Gordon thought it was odd for the room to be split into two different colors, but Alan had cleared up the confusion.

 _"Mom wanted to paint Mae's room pink and Brandon wanted it blue. I was eleven when Mom got pregnant with Mae and Brandon had just moved in with mom and I before the wedding. They kept trying to decide on the color for Mae's room and I told them to paint the opposite wall their desired colors." Alan looked at the walls painted pink, then blue before repeating. "It seemed like a good idea at the time."_

Currently, Gordon was carrying Mae on his hip up the stairs to her room. When they went in, Gordon opened the closet door and started thumbing through Mae's variety of clothing. He flinched when Mae let out a squeal at a skirt ensemble. Gordon pulled it out, feeling completely out of his depth with Mae. Usually Scott or Alan dealt with her – dressing, bathing or bedtime routine.

"Allie got me this for my birthday." Mae began shimmying, trying to get Gordon to put her down. Once she was on the floor while holding the hanger her skirt and blouse were clipped to, she started pushing against the backs of Gordon's knees. "Get out, boys can't watch girls get dressed! Out!"

Gordon stuck his tongue out at what Mae said, but he didn't argue. He turned around once in the hall, only to have his little sister's door slammed in his face.

"Little miss too big for her britches." Gordon muttered under his breath before turning and heading back down the stairs.

… … … … … … …

Alan and Virgil sat near their grandma and dad in the living room of their grandparent's homestead. It was an interesting thing for Alan to experience. He felt like he was in the hot seat with his grandma looking at him expectantly as well as his father and older brother looking at him with a smile on their faces. His grandmother must have sensed Alan's growing discomfort and she finally stood up before Alan felt like he'd soon pass out from not breathing.

"I'd better get lunch started. You boys are probably famished after such a long drive." Grandma said before she walked over to stand in front of Alan. The teen looked at her much like how a deer might look at a pair of oncoming headlights. "Alan, what would you like me to fix for your lunch?"

Alan was afraid to speak for a moment, but he got his wits about him and he plastered a cheery smile on his face before speaking. "What did you have in mind grandma?"

"I was just going to make some of my roast beef dip sandwiches, you used to love those when you were a little guy." Grandma said with a smile on her face as she rattled off Alan's favorite sandwich from his childhood. "Will that be okay, dear?"

"Oh yes grandma, those sound great!" Alan agreed, he'd kind of stopped eating roast beef sandwiches; but he wasn't about to tell that to his grandma. He hadn't found anything wrong with the sandwiches, it was just nobody could make them the way his grandma had and after his mom and dad's divorce he'd felt like he was partly to blame so he hadn't gone to visit because he was afraid his grandma would blame him for the divorce.

"Wonderful! I'll go get those made up, just sit tight." Grandma said, her face positively glowing with happiness and excitement over seeing her youngest grandson again.

When Alan was left with his dad and brother, he tried to find something to look at in his grandma's house that would be familiar. He didn't expect to see a picture that had been taken recently. He didn't go to look at the picture, but he made a mental note to after his dad and older brother went to bed. His grandma was gone for about five minutes before she returned with a plate full of sandwiches for herself and her boys. They all sat and began to eat. When they'd just about finished their lunch, grandma turned to Alan and spoke to him.

"So, Alan, how've you been?" Grandma asked, her eyes alight with a kind of light that made Alan think of a mischievous person.

"I've been better." Alan admitted, knowing what his grandma was asking but not wanting to answer for fear of his wall falling and showing vulnerability. He didn't dare show his vulnerable side, not even his mom saw that side of him. He didn't trust anyone to see that side of him and he'd admit that he'd been weak before with Scott just after the accident, but he refused to be weak again.

"Well, what did you want to do then Alan? Did you want to walk out with me to check on the animals?" Grandma inquired as she tried to think of something that would let her reconnect with her grandson.

"Sure, I guess." Alan said more than a little unsure about going anywhere alone with his grandmother. Not that he thought she'd do something, he was just afraid she'd want to talk about things that Alan considered off limits. But he'd never know unless he went with his grandmother.

"Let's go then." Grandma said before she went to the mudroom to retrieve a basket. "I needed to pick up the eggs from my chickens anyway."

… … … … … … …

Once they were outside, Alan and grandma picked their way across the lawn to the chicken coop. Alan had never seen so many chickens before and while there was only about fifteen chickens or so, Alan still thought fifteen was a lot. He was rather hesitant to enter the coop, but his grandmother insisted he do so with her.

"Come on Alan, they don't bite." Grandma said with a smile. "They'll squawk and cluck, but they won't bite."

"Are you sure?" Alan really didn't want to be pecked to death by these hens.

"They may gossip but I can assure you that they won't be on the attack." Grandma insisted with a playful grin. "Come on."

Alan bit his lip before he entered the chicken coop and the moment he stepped in, he had an armful of chicken after his grandma put one hen in his arms. Alan wouldn't admit that he might have screamed like a little girl, but he still held the chicken. His grandma took one of his hands and made him start petting the chicken.

"Don't fear her Alan. Anna is one of my more docile layers and she loves to be picked up and carried around." Grandma reassured Alan. "That's my Anna, yes she's a good girl."

Alan looked at the hen in his arms with a hint of mistrust before he started petting her head with two of his fingers. She ruffled her feathers before she settled in Alan's arms and put him at ease. Alan carried the hen around with him as his grandma moved from nest to nest as she gathered the eggs previously laid by the hens.

"So, how are you really doing?" Grandma eventually asked Alan making him swallow deeply with a long sigh. "I'm not blind you know, I can see how much your mama and stepdaddy's death affected you. You don't need to hide it."

"I'm…I'm doing as okay as I think I'll ever be. It still…it still hurts…you know?" Alan admitted after another long suffering sigh. "I thought my mom would be around for…well I thought she'd be around until I was at least forty if not a little older. I mean, she was young. She shouldn't have died, neither should Brandon. I keep finding myself thinking that they'll both come home one day and act all confused because of how Mae and I mope around the house. Scott tries, but he's not my mom nor is he my step-dad. I miss them both and I want them both here."

"Oh, my dear." Grandma whispered when she thought she saw a shine develop in Alan's eyes that she understood to be the development of tears. She enveloped Alan in a hug and took to rocking him from side to side. Anna the hen stayed nestled in Alan's arms as he was hugged by his grandma and she didn't cluck in disagreement to being mashed between Alan and grandma. "I know the pain you're going through. When your granddaddy died I was lost for so long, I didn't know if I'd ever be happy again."

"How'd you get through it?" Alan asked softly.

"Well, I had you boys. Your mama was pregnant with you and I busied myself with planning a baby shower for her. We thought you were going to be a girl and so we were having a baby shower so we could get all things girl. You name it. There were tutu's, dresses with pink tulle, headbands with flowers sewn on, pink blankets and a variation of tights. Imagine our surprise when the doctor announced you were a boy and your mama and daddy brought a pair of pink footie pajamas with elephants on them. I don't think I've ever driven quite so fast as to get back home to dig though your brother's old boxes of baby clothes to find something to bring you home in. Your daddy was absolutely aghast at the idea of bringing you home in anything pink."

That made Alan give a brief chuckle. The thought that he hadn't been exactly expected to be a boy and that his dad hadn't just gone along with it and pretended that Alan was a girl just to have fun. His mom had intentionally used one of Alan's old blue onesies when she and Brandon brought Mae home from the hospital because she joked that she was used to bringing baby boys home and didn't think she could handle hordes of people flocking to look at her beautiful baby girl. Alan seemed to recall his mom needing a bit of an adjustment period when getting used to handling a baby girl instead of another boy.

"I still wish they were here though." Alan murmured as his grandma released him from the hug.

"Baby, you'll always wish for your mama and step-daddy. But you can't let them being gone make you put your life on hold. Your granddaddy would just as soon thump me on the head if I let my life quit moving along with the rest of the world and your mama and step-daddy would probably do the same. Smile, live, love, laugh…it's what would make _them_ happy." Grandma said as she put age weary hands on Alan's shoulders and gave them a firm squeeze.

* * *

 _ **2nd A/N: As promised, here is the synopsis to the story I've currently got titled as "Alone in The Wilderness"**_

 ** _"Alan is just a rich, spoiled rotten teenaged boy with a chip on his shoulder. After crossing a line, his father has had enough and has sent him off to a military school on the West Coast. When the charter plane he's in suffers an unforeseen complication, Alan is forced to survive in the wilderness with the injured pilot by his side. Will they be able to survive, or will they succumb to their surroundings before they're rescued?"_**

 ** _As you can see, Alan is obviously not alone in the wilderness like the title suggests. So if any of my readers have any better suggestions, feel free to say so in your review or a PM. Hope you enjoyed this latest update._**


	22. Into The Night

**_A/N: Hey look another update! I don't think I need to warn folks that I don't care to read any flames so if you don't like then don't read. Constructive criticism is accepted._**

 ** _Enjoy!_**

* * *

Later that night Alan felt like he was about to pop. He knew he couldn't possibly eat another bite. His grandmother had outdone herself, after the sandwiches earlier that afternoon and dinner this evening. His grandma had made the best tuna noodle casserole that Alan had ever had. His mom hated tuna while it was always a secret favorite of Alan's, he always wondered where he'd gotten that love for tuna. Scott despised it, so did his mom, Mae…for that matter none of Alan's brothers liked tuna much. Virgil tolerated tuna, but it wasn't his favorite. Alan thinks he might have figured it out though judging on the fact that his dad had gotten seconds.

"How about a bit of dessert?" Grandma asked as she stood to pick up a blueberry pie that had sat on the windowsill to cool for most of the day.

"No, grandma…I'm too full." Alan said as he held his hand up. "I think I'll let this settle for now."

Alan discretely unbuttoned the top button on his jeans as he moved to the living room. He felt so full it was almost sickening.

"Well, let me know when you're ready. I've got some homemade whipped cream too." Grandma said with a smile, making Alan's eyes go wide. It had to be a secret goal of his grandma's to make his waistline expand, already he felt sick from having eaten more than he usually ate. But his grandma's cooking was so good. He felt like it was the first decent meal in a long time, nothing against Scott. He was still learning to cook foods that were more advanced than a college freshman's cooking.

"Hey mom?" Jeff asked he took a seat on the love seat by his mother. Virgil inclined his head as he curled up in his late grandfather's favorite recliner. It was barely used now that his grandfather had passed and had still been new before he died.

"Yes honey?" Grandma asked with a relaxed smile.

"Did you still have dad's old guitar?" Jeff inquired, hoping she hadn't yet gotten rid of it.

"Yes, it's in the hallway closet behind the coats." Grandma replied as her brows furrowed in confusion. "Why do you ask?"

"Well, I was hoping Alan could show me how he plays." Jeff said knowing his youngest son was glaring daggers at him from across the room.

"I didn't know you played Alan?" Grandma inquired as she looked at her youngest grandson who was covering his face behind his hands.

"It's not something I advertise." Alan mumbled behind his hands, feeling a little out of his depth.

"Why not baby? I'm sure you're very good." Grandma said with a hint of confusion.

Alan mumbled something back but his grandma gave him 'the look' that his mother seemed to have mastered in all her years as his grandma's daughter in law.

"I said it's because it was something only mom and Brandon knew I could do. Brandon enrolled me in guitar lessons and I learned because of him." Alan said, speaking a little louder.

"He can sing also." Jeff remarked, figuring he was already in hot water with his youngest son…might as well add to the list of transgressions.

"He can play the piano too." Virgil said, hiding behind the lap robe that he'd pulled off the back of the recliner to hide behind.

"Oh my god, I hate you so much right now." Alan said as he pulled a very childlike move and pulled his head down the neck hole of his shirt and hid his red face.

"Don't be embarrassed baby, I'd love to hear you play. I feel like I've missed out on so much of your life." Grandma said before she stood to go retrieve her late husband's guitar. When she returned she set the cherished object on the couch beside Alan. "Here, this was your granddaddy's. Can you play me a song?"

"I guess if I have to." Alan mumbled before he pulled the neck of his shirt back into place, so he could properly hold the guitar. He checked it, testing the strings so he was in tune. Once he'd deemed the guitar in tune to his specifications, Alan began to strum and pick before settling on the same song he played for his mom and Brandon all the time. It was an old Elvis song, but it meant a lot to Alan when he saw his mom's smile. He saw his grandma close her eyes, hand to her chest with a serene smile.

He wasn't going to sing, but he saw his brother mouth to him to sing along. Alan nodded before he closed his eyes. Letting himself go back to distant memories, Alan began to sing along softly before building up in volume.

He heard his grandma begin to hum along but he continued to think of his mother dancing in the kitchen with his stepfather to the tune that Alan was strumming. It passed by quicker than Alan realized and soon he'd moved to a song with a faster beat. He sang along to that song also not realizing that earlier he hadn't wanted to sing and now it was like he couldn't stop. The phone rang and his grandma gave a huff before telling Alan to continue playing.

Grandma answered the phone and spoke with the person on the other line for a few minutes, when it seemed like the phone call was extending longer than was originally intended Alan stopped playing.

"Is she in her stall?" Grandma asked making Alan pause in playing the guitar. "She isn't? Okay, I'll ask one of my grandsons to come with me and we'll see if we can't lend a hand."

His grandma ended the call before she turned to her boys that sat by with a questioning look on their faces.

"That was Mr. Carson, his mare is foaling and he's asked if I can come lend a hand since this is her first foal. Alan, did you feel up to coming along and getting your hands dirty?" Grandma asked as she went to the hallway closet once more to retrieve a sweater.

"Um, I don't think that's…" Alan started to say not quite liking the idea of being near a creature that would be having a baby.

"It's really quite the experience Alan. I can come along if you don't think you can stomach it." Virgil offered, noticing not for the first time how much his little brother's face paled.

"It's not that I don't like the blood…I was with mom and Brandon when Mae was born. I'm just…afraid of…getting…" Alan said leaving off the word kicked.

"You'll be fine Alan, Daisy is really a sweet mare…normally Mr. Carson wouldn't need me there but Daisy has been in poor health since her birth. He's just nervous with this being her first foal and wants an extra pair of eyes to keep watch on her." Grandma said before directing a look at Virgil. "Virgil, it might be a promising idea if you came along, you have a bit more medical knowledge and can help monitor her progress."

"Okay, cool with me." Virgil said as he went to the hallway closet same as his grandma to put on the muck boots that had been gathering dust since the last time they'd been worn. "I'm ready when you are."

"Grab a sweater for your brother, would you?" Grandma said when Alan stood to follow Virgil's lead. He went to put on his tennis shoes when Virgil handed him a pair of muck boots.

"You might want these instead…don't exactly want to step in a horse stall in tennis shoes." Virgil said as he handed the boots to Alan.

"Okay, um…is what I'm wearing okay?" Alan gestured at his clothes and Virgil nodded.

"You're helping deliver a foal, I don't think you need to be dressed to the nines." Virgil said with a playful smile. "You're fine dressed the way you are."

"Okay." Alan said accepting the sweater his brother gave him. His grandmother took the time to go brew a pot of coffee and filling a thermos with the dark brew. She wrapped up a couple slices of pie for her, Virgil, Alan and Mr. Carson. Jeff promised to bring refreshments if any of them called and the two sons left with their grandmother. Ruth drove them across town in her beat up old Chevrolet pickup. When they arrived, Ruth and the boys were greeted by Mr. Carson, a man who looked about the age of their grandmother.

"How is she?" Ruth inquired even as she heard the shrill neigh of a horse in labor. "You able to get her in her stall?"

"She won't let me come near her. I was hoping one of your grandsons could help me out." Mr. Carson said.

"Virgil? You want to give it a go?" Grandma asked as she gestured for both of her grandsons to go with Mr. Carson.

"Sure." Virgil rolled up his sleeves as he followed Mr. Carson.

Alan leaned against the rails of the corral, watching his brother as he approached the laboring mare. Daisy walked back and forth – obviously apprehensive. When Virgil got close though she gave a loud ear-piercing squeal and stamped one of her hooves. Virgil stopped advancing and let her assess him. She started to become aggressive and Virgil started backing away so she'd know he wasn't a threat.

"Well that went over like a lead balloon." Virgil sighed after he returned to the fence. "Alan do you want to give it a try in a few minutes?"

"I don't know the first thing about horses." Alan refuted, feeling nervous being next to a creature that big.

"She's really sweet normally. I think she's just scared." Mr. Carson said, meaning well but making Alan more nervous.

"I suppose." Alan said as he reluctantly agreed to help gather the mare and lead her to her stall. "So, what do I do if she lets me get close to her?"

"Just take her by the bridle and lead her to the barn." Mr. Carson said. "I've already got her stall open so you can lead her in."

Alan shrugged as he returned his gaze to the nervous mare. "Okay."

After a few minutes letting Daisy pace, Alan climbed between the corral posts and slowly started making his way to the mare. The closer he got the more nervous he became. Without thinking of what he was doing, Alan started singing softly. Virgil recognized the words to Hushabye Mountain that Alan was singing to calm himself and he noticed the song seemed to ease Daisy's apprehension.

Daisy nickered at Alan and the teen guessed the noise was good since she wasn't stamping her foot at him like she was at Virgil. Once he was close enough to the mare, he extended his hand to let her sniff. She put her snout against Alan's hand and gave a deep sniff. After waiting a few seconds longer, Alan reached out and took Daisy by the bridle. He stopped singing long enough to whisper reassurances to Daisy before he started singing again. This time it was the song he was singing in choir when John and Virgil stopped by. He started that chanting thing again that made no sense to either brother then and it still didn't now.

"What in the world is he saying?" Grandma inquired of Virgil when she heard the soft chanting.

"I don't know, he was singing this in his chorus class when John and I took him his lunch one day when he forgot." Virgil said. He followed Mr. Carson when the older man led him and his grandmother up to the barn where Alan was just entering the stall with Daisy.

"Can you stay in there for a few minutes son?" Mr. Carson said as he closed the gate to Daisy's stall. "She seems to like your singing."

Alan didn't speak, nodding his head in agreement to stay in the pen with Daisy.

"Think you can wrap this around the top of her tail? I'd rather it not get wet when her water breaks." Mr. Carson asked before handing a small coban roll to Alan who kept on singing softly. Alan was awkward when it came to lifting Daisy's tail, but he managed with instruction being spoken by Mr. Carson. Once he'd wrapped Daisy's tail, Alan's grandma suggested he also braid the longer hair of her tail if he knew how to braid which he did. Not long after he finished braiding Daisy's tail hair, the mare resumed her earlier pacing before she went on her front knees to lay down.

"Grandma?" Alan asked, a little alarmed when Daisy laid down.

"She's just getting comfortable for when it's time for her to deliver. She's fine." Grandma reassured softly.

"Will you guys leave me by myself the whole time?" Alan asked, voice shaky with nervousness.

"No, we'll be right here though…she doesn't seem to want anybody but you with her for now." Mr. Carson said. "Would you mind singing to her again, it seems to keep her calm."

"Okay, but um…what do I sing?" Alan asked, running out of songs.

"What about the other songs you learned in chorus?" Virgil asked surprising Alan. The younger had forgotten about the sudden visit to his school from his two older brothers.

"I guess, but…don't laugh." Alan requested before he started singing again. It was soft and peaceful. It was hard for Alan to sing because he had to adjust the pitch so that it matched his voice. Daisy seemed to take comfort in Alan's singing once more. Grandma and Virgil gazed at Alan with wistful eyes. Virgil didn't know Alan could sing such a beautiful song, wanting to see Alan sing with the chorus class now more than ever. Grandma was speechless, Alan's singing made her think of Lucy and miss her all the more.

This went on for two more hours, Alan grew more and more tired but continued singing every song he could think of. Virgil had snuck into the stall with Alan and was dozing while leaned back against the wall. Daisy was panting the longer she labored. Mr. Carson had brought chairs for himself and Ruth and they played cards quietly. Alan ran his thumb around the shaking mare's cheek.

Alan covered a yawn before he started singing another song. Daisy gave a grunt, straining with a push telling Alan that something had changed. The boy was startled when Daisy let out a shrill neigh, jerking in surprise at how loud the mare could be. Virgil was startled awake and he went from leaning against the wall dozing to wide awake. He looked from his vantage point before bringing the laboring mare to the attention of those gathered.

"I think we're ready for a foal. I can see something." Virgil said before he observed Daisy straining again. "Good girl, that was a good push."

"Is she okay?" Alan asked, noting how much Daisy was shaking.

"She's okay, she's just progressing in labor." Virgil said as he put a hand gently on Daisy's belly to feel the rock-hard muscles. When he checked again, Virgil smiled. "Hey Al, want to see something amazing?"

"What?" Alan asked as he shifted position to see what Virgil wanted to show him. He wrinkled his nose before he moved back up to Daisy's head. "That's gross."

"That my dear brother is a baby horse." Virgil replied with a chuckle. "I thought you weren't squeamish?"

"I'm not. But just because I'm not squeamish doesn't mean I necessarily like viewing the business end of a laboring mare." Alan said before sticking his tongue out in mild disgust.

Daisy strained once more soon followed with another shrill neigh. Virgil encouraged the mare softly. Alan soon followed suit, sweet talking Daisy through her labor.

"Okay, here we go. Come on Daisy you can do it." Virgil encouraged once more. Alan glanced back at Daisy's backside and smiled when he saw the foal partially delivered. He whispered to Daisy, trying to cheer her on.

"Just a few more pushes Daisy, you're a good girl." Daisy panted harshly, stretching one of her legs out as she gave another hard push, fully delivering the foal. "Good girl!"

Virgil grabbed a rag and broke the sac surrounding the foal so he could clean out the airways. Soon after delivering her foal, Daisy stood so she could clean her young. Virgil and Alan snuck from the stall, allowing mother and baby to bond without them interfering. Virgil looked down at his clothes which had been stained with amniotic fluid and other fluids he'd rather not think about.

"Come along boys, lets let them alone." Grandma said before she handed a towel to Virgil and Alan to dry the fluids that had gotten on their clothes. They returned to their grandmother's truck in a daze, both boys tired and rummy-dummy. "Let's get you boys back to my house and to a proper bed."

"Y'all swing by tomorrow so we can make proper acquaintance with the foal after they've bonded." Mr. Carson said as he shook Alan, Virgil and Grandma's hands with a wide smile.

Both boys found it hard to stay awake during the fifteen minute drive across town and slumped against the other while Grandma drove in comfortable silence. When they arrived back at the family homestead, Grandma practically had to haul both boys from the truck cab and lead them inside. Jeff woke up and met them at the front door before taking Alan by the shoulders and pushing him upstairs where a second bathroom was. Virgil and Alan bathed in the respective bathrooms they were led to before meeting up in the room upstairs they'd be sharing. Once in the guestroom, they both fell into their own beds and fell asleep quickly.

Their dad and grandmother opened the door a bit and peered at the boys and smiled at how fast they'd fallen asleep. Grandma had been telling Jeff how Daisy refused to let anybody but Alan within proximity while she was laboring and that had impressed the patriarch of the Tracy family.

"It'd seem that Alan takes after his mother more than we thought." Grandma murmured as she recalled an earlier time, Jeff brought his new girlfriend home for Easter and introduced her to his mother and father. They'd been expecting a couple calves from their heifers and Lucy had been excited to learn of this as she'd never seen a farm animal give birth before. Her little brother's dog had delivered a litter of puppies on her bed when they were kids, but that was as close as she'd come to live births.

"Come on, we'd better hit the hay ourselves." Jeff said sending one more smile in the direction of his boys before closing the door and retiring to his old room downstairs.


	23. Breakfast with Grandma

The next morning came too soon for Alan and he groaned when his grandma came in to open his curtains. He lifted his head from his pillows and glanced at the clock before he buried his head beneath his pillows.

"More sl'p thank you." Alan groaned under his breath. As he was just beginning to think his grandma might let him keep sleeping, the pillow was taken from over his head and Alan had a couple light slaps issued to his left cheek. He scrunched his eyes closed, groaning audibly when his grandma kissed the same cheek she'd lightly slapped.

"Sorry honey, your dad asked me to wake you, so we could all have breakfast." Grandma said before she ruffled Alan's hair. "Come on honey, we've got a lot of catching up to do."

"But I'm tired." Alan whined pathetically as he rolled over and tried to go back to bed.

"Ah-ah. Come on Alan. I haven't gotten to see you for years and we haven't really gotten reacquainted." Grandma persisted, forcing Alan to sit up.

"But grandma, aren't you tired? You, me, and Virgil stayed up late." Alan griped as he sat up in bed only to see Virgil sound asleep in the bed on the other side of the room. "Why aren't you going to wake him?"

"He'll wake up soon, I opened the curtains for a reason." Grandma said before she continued prodding Alan to get him out of bed and downstairs. "Come on."

"Alright, alright." Alan said as he gave a good stretch and a deep yawn. When his grandma closed the door, Alan was left to contemplate crawling back in bed. He didn't however fancy his grandma coming in and pestering him more. He knelt by his backpack, digging out a clean pair of jeans, socks, underwear and a clean shirt. He took his stack of clothes to get dressed in the bathroom before returning to drop off his sleep clothes. He noticed Virgil was still sound asleep and he flared his nares in mild irritation at being woken up when his brother was still asleep.

On his way downstairs, Alan took notice that his dad was also still asleep, and his irritation grew a little more. Why was he woken up and everyone else still sound asleep?

He soon got his answer when he entered the kitchen to see his grandma. She had her purse on the table and keys in hand.

"Grandma, I thought you said that dad asked you to wake me…why is he still asleep?" Alan asked as he yawned behind his hand. He knew that if given the chance, he'd fall back asleep without a second thought on the matter.

"Your dad asked me to wake you up so the two of us could go to breakfast. He said you're not really a morning person, so he told me to wake you when I woke up, so we could go out together." Grandma said, her voice hopeful. "I hope that's okay honey."

Alan realized he couldn't fault his grandma on his desire to alienate himself from her. He sighed deeply, forcing himself to cool his temper before pasting a smile on his face.

"That's fine grandma, let's go." Alan said, watching his grandma's face transform from unsure to beaming. Alan followed his grandma out of her old family farmhouse and he climbed in her pickup truck once more. While they drove, Alan and his grandma talked about Alan's schooling. Grandma asked Alan about the play he'd recently been a part of and she was sad that she hadn't been able to attend.

"I wish I'd known, I love supporting schools and their art programs. I remember when your mother made Scott and John take part in a play when they were in the fourth and fifth grade. Oh, they were the cutest little shapeshifters. Had to wear all black clothing and add accessories to their costumes to fit the scene." Ruth paused for a moment as she recalled some of her favorite memories. "Your grandfather and I loved it, we couldn't stop laughing when they'd come out. Virgil was a raccoon in that play and he had to sing this adorable song about washing your hands. Your grandfather had that song stuck in his head for weeks after the play."

Alan chuckled at the mental image. He could just see Virgil dressed in a felt raccoon costume singing about washing one's hands, especially being as fastidious as he could sometimes be. And now knowing what he did about Scott and John being in a play, he knew he'd have to ask his brothers for details. Hopefully it'd be good bribery if his grandma happened to have pictures…or better yet…his mom. She'd had an attic full of picture albums that Alan hadn't been able to look at since his mom and stepdad's demise, but now he was thinking that maybe it'd be time for him to go dig those up.

"And don't even get me started on how Virgil acted when he got a taste of stage fright, I thought that poor boy was going to run off stage bawling." Grandma said with a mirthful chuckle. "Next time you do a school play, you'll have to call me and let me know when it is. I'd love to attend."

"Thanks grandma, but that's really not necessary. Besides, Mae is the one you'd rather see performing. She's a great dancer, mom always wanted her to be in ballet." Alan said, trailing off when he realized that Mae hadn't been to any practices or recitals since the accident. He'd have to find out by looking through his mom's bills what ballet cost so Alan could figure out a way to put her back into it.

"Nonsense Alan, I am missing all your important milestones and I'm barely three hours away. Please don't push me away. I love you and all I want is for you to be a part of my life again." Grandma said before she pulled up in front of one of the only diners in the town. She led Alan in and smiled at the hostess, who greeted her by name.

"My word! Who is this strapping young man hiding behind you?" The lady whose nametag read Millie inquired as she caught a glimpse of Alan. "Surely this isn't one of your grandson?"

"Guilty as charged, this is my youngest grandson." Grandma said before turning to look at Alan with hazel eyes that shone with glee. "Say hello Alan."

"Oh, my heavens, _this_ is _Alan?_ " Millie asked as she covered her mouth in shock before she opened her arms for a hug. "Come here honey! I haven't seen you since you were knee high to a grasshopper!"

Alan allowed Millie to pull him in for a rib breaking hug, but he looked at his grandma over Millie's shoulder, silently asking, " _grasshopper?_ " His grandma shrugged with a happy smile before she explained.

"Millie was my neighbor when you were a baby and she often came over to book discussion groups with me and a few of the other ladies in town when I was babysitting you and your brothers. You always knew who to go to when you wanted an extra cookie. Millie never could say no to your puppy dog eyes."

"Heaven sake, no. You always were much too cute for your own good." Millie said before she pinched Alan's left cheek for good measure and kissing his right cheek, smearing bright red lipstick on his cheek so the whole town knew he'd just gotten kissed. "Now, let me go get you two seated and a little breakfast on its way to you."

Alan felt a little shell-shocked when he took a seat in a booth that Millie had directed him and grandma to. He was wary about wiping off the lipstick smear, knowing from experience that he might just make it worse unless he was looking in a mirror and he didn't happen to bring his acne wash with him. The only thought that crossed Alan's mind as he sat at the booth was how grateful he was that the booth they were seated at wasn't situated in front of a window and Alan's cheek was readily visible to the patrons in the diner. He knew he'd probably die of humiliation if anyone saw him now. It would be bad enough when and if his dad and brother saw it later.

Millie delivered menus to Alan and grandma, leaving them with a smile and a promise to return shortly before taking her leave. Alan perused the menu, seeing chicken fried steak and thinking fondly of the last time his mom had made it for him and Brandon. Mae hadn't quite been born yet and Alan's mom had been in a nesting stage for several days. She'd grown tired of asking Alan and Brandon to renovate the new baby's nursery and focused more readily on making a bunch of foods days in advance, so Alan and Brandon wouldn't starve while Lucy was recuperating from childbirth. He also spied the menu having hot teas and he wanted some tea with lemon.

After a few moments left to look over their menus, Millie returned and inquired of their orders. Grandma looked over at Alan, smiling at him before she made her order. Alan placed his order and grinned at Millie when she ruffled Alan's hair affectionately before she left to give the order to the line cook. While Alan and Ruth waited for their breakfast order, Alan fiddled with a placard advertising for different beverages available, including a variety of milkshakes. He didn't know what he and his grandma could talk about, he hadn't seen her since his mom got custody of him, then when his mom would ask if he wanted to go have lunch with grandma – Alan would always conveniently come up with why he couldn't go. It wasn't that he didn't like his grandma, he just feared her being mad at him and voicing her disappointment that Alan had selected his mom when the judge in charge of designating the parent to gain custody of Alan asked for his selection.

"I hope one day I can meet your little sister." Grandma said, starting conversation with Alan and bypassing other possible topics. "Your mom was always telling me about her and I couldn't wait to meet her in person."

"She's great." Alan said, a little uncomfortable with the notion of his baby sister meeting his grandma, not for any reason. Just overbearing big brother protectiveness. "I think she'd love you."

"I know I'll love her." Grandma said wistfully. "I was so excited for your mom when she and Brandon got pregnant with Mae."

"You're not mad that Mom remarried?" Alan asked, a little confused. He would have figured that his grandma would have been angry at his mom for getting divorced from her son and remarried to another guy and having a whole other family.

"Heavens no honey. I was upset with your father for pushing your mama away the way he did. I know he didn't mean it, but your father…he gets tunnel vision and when he gets an idea in his head, his Tracy stubbornness kicks in to the max and he can't see anything apart from the end goal. I kept telling him that he was doing you boys and your mama an injustice by staying married to his job, but he didn't listen, and he lost you and your mama because of it." Ruth said as she stared off as if lost in a memory. "Actually, when your mama met Brandon…she called me to ask if I thought she should go for it?"

"What did you say?" Alan asked, surprised by this turn of events.

"What do you think I said? I told her she'd be a fool to pass this up and when I met Brandon, I told your mama that if she hadn't latched onto that Brandon fellow, I would have. He was a good looking young man." Ruth said, conveniently disregarding the look on Alan's face when his jaw dropped and his eyes widened. She did however have the gall to look innocent. "What?"

"Nothing…" Alan said even as he shook his head a bit in revulsion. His grandma finding his stepdad attractive was just…' _ew_ '

Millie chose that moment to return with Alan's tea cup and a small metal pot of hot water and a limited selection of tea bags. She placed a mug of coffee and a carafe on the tabletop in front of Ruth before straightening her posture. "I'll be out shortly with your orders."

"Thank you, Millie." Alan said, smiling his thanks back at the matronly waitress. She pinched his cheek once more, but she left before depositing another bright red kiss on his forehead.

"Thank you, Mill." Ruth said with a grin before she focused on adding creamers and sugars to her coffee. Once Millie had taken her leave once more Alan and his grandma began talking at length about Alan's schooling, Mae, Alan's friends, whether he had someone special yet.

… … … … … … …

Millie and the chef Marshall watched Alan and his grandma talk and laugh from back in the kitchen. Millie could barely contain her bubbling excitement that little Alan was back, and he had gotten so big. Marshall himself smiled. He'd seen Millie gesturing to Alan and Ruth about Alan being pint sized the last time he'd been in with his grandma. Marshall was an older man, had seen Ruth and her late husband raising Jeff when he was a runt. He had worked in the kitchen for so long and he considered himself the town 'grandpa'. A lot of the youngsters in town called him 'Papa Marsh' including the boy's own daddy Jeff.

"I can't believe that is Jeff's baby." Millie gushed from back in the kitchen, eyes alight with love and adoration for the boy – young man that she'd known from the time he was fresh out of the womb.

Millie was a few years younger than Ruth and had been around for Jeff's marriage to that pretty gal Lucy that he'd met in college. She'd even been around when Jeff and his young wife had raced from his parent's homestead in the middle of the night, the young mother having announced that the baby was coming. She'd watched Jeff's little family expand gradually, seen the look of shock on Jeff's face when his wife announced that she was yet again pregnant at a barbeque that Ruth had hosted following her late husband's memorial service. Jeff's reaction had probably been the highlight of the party when the dad of four had to sit down and put his head between his knees when he had a mild panic attack.

"Best get their orders out to them Millie. I'm sure that boy is still a growing boy." Marshall said as he handed a tray with four plates to his co-worker.

"Yes sir." Millie replied before she exited the kitchen, smiling as she walked when she saw Alan and his grandma laughing. She caught the tail end of the conversation and couldn't help but to smile.

"…And then he goes, 'Oh my god Alan! Where is the fire extinguisher?!' I come racing into the kitchen, black smoke is billowing out of the oven, the oven door is standing wide open, Scott is looking like someone threw a coal bucket in his face and needless to say I had to order a pizza because the homemade one that Scott was attempting was a complete lost cause. I think a bit of cheese found it's way on the ceiling with that little fiasco." Alan and his grandma were laughing even as Alan continued. "We had to open all the doors and windows to let the smoke out and I had to call the fire department to tell them that if anyone reported a house fire at our residence that it was just my brother burning food."

"You did not!" Grandma said as she lightly slapped the top of Alan's hand, making the teen laugh harder.

"Okay, maybe I didn't take it quite that far…but I did have to explain to my neighbors when one of them came knocking that my brother just didn't know the first thing about cooking." Alan said, wiping a tear from the corner of his eye. "I had to show Scott mom's recipe book and make sure he knew to follow mom's instructions to a T so as to avoid further cooking disasters."

"Alright, I've got your breakfast right here!" Millie said, striding over and picking up a plate of chicken fried steak. "Was the fried steak for you Ruth or Alan?"

"For that strapping young man across from me." Ruth said before pointing at Alan.

Alan blushed as he accepted his plate of food, but his eyes glowed with excitement when he saw the food on his plate.

"Thank you, Millie." Alan said as he prepared himself to dig in.

"Oh, don't thank me…thank Marshall. He's the one slaving over a hot stove all day." Millie said, pointing back towards the kitchen to the hulking man in the teeny window. Millie, Alan, and Ruth waved at him and Marshall waved back. "Now, I'll let you nice folks return to your meal and holler if there's anything I can get you."

… … … … … … …

Later that evening found Scott, Gordon and John practically at the end of their ropes. Mae had been on her best behavior for Gordon and John most of the day, but after her afternoon nap she'd woken up and had become an absolute terror. John and Gordon didn't know what they could do to cheer her up. She kept demanding for Alan, but as Gordon learned – it was not wise to tell an angry toddler that the person she wanted right that minute was gone until the following day.

"Mae, you don't get what you want by throwing a tantrum! Now go to your room and think about your behavior!" Scott said, eyebrows narrowed in irritation as Mae kicked at him during her tantrum.

"NO!" Mae cried, throwing herself on the floor and screaming loudly.

"Mae! Stop it this minute!" Scott said, going to the wailing toddler and picking her up off the floor and taking her upstairs despite her flailing, kicking and screaming. Reaching the landing, Scott went straight to Mae's room and put her on her bed and making her sit. "You are going to stay here and calm down! You leave this room and that only makes your timeout longer, do you understand me young lady?"

"NO!" Mae yelled before she went to jump off her bed. Scott caught her and put her right back on her bed, looked at her sternly before addressing her.

"You are going to stay right here young lady, you leave this room and your timeout s longer. Do you understand me?" Scott repeated. When Mae refused to reply, Scott repeated himself. "I said, do you understand me?"

"Yes!" Mae replied, eyes filling with angry tears as she stayed on her bed and started to pout.

"Good, now I want you to stay here and think about your actions. We'll talk about your behavior when I get back." Scott said before standing and exiting Mae's room, closing her door with a soft 'click'. With that done and out of the way, Scott went back downstairs where he saw Gordon on the phone. He didn't question his younger brother being on the phone until Gordon walked over and handed him the mobile.

"Alan wants to talk to you." Gordon said before handing the phone to Scott.

"Did you call him?" Scott asked, feeling a little hurt that Gordon apparently doubted his ability to diffuse a toddler's tantrum.

"Yeah, but…I figured Alan knew of a way to calm Mae down." Gordon said with a shrug. "Sorry, dude."

Scott rolled his eyes as he took the mobile and started talking to his youngest brother.

"Hey Al, what's up?" Scott asked, walking away to talk to Alan.


	24. She Knew

**_A/N: Sorry for the delay in updates, like Rising From The Ashes I lost interest in writing updates...but hopefully my interest is renewing considering it wasn't like pulling teeth to write this._**

As you may have noticed, I've recently posted a new story titled Alone In The Wilderness - this story did not take my attention away from Walk To Remember or Rising From The Ashes, it's been done for a while and just kept succumbing to edits. Anyway, if you follow either of these stories and have yet to read Alone In The Wilderness, I only update it once a week and will continue to do so for a short while longer until it's fully uploaded.

Hope you enjoy and remember, I love reviews! =)

Later Gators

Sad-Blue-Eyed-Angel 2010

* * *

When Scott hung up the phone, he had to pinch the bridge of his nose. Gordon had called Alan unnecessarily, or so Scott thought. The teen shouldn't have had to help his big brother with controlling a toddler throwing a temper tantrum. But Alan had suggested what Scott had already done. It was nerve-wracking, and Alan knew what Scott was up against, but he'd reassured his older brother and made him feel better about his methods.

' _Hey Al, what's up?' Scott asked, walking away to talk to Alan without an audience._

 _"Gordo called to ask me if I could suggest something to get Mae to behave for you all. Is she causing you all trouble?" Alan asked, voice betraying Alan's feelings about being separated from his baby sister for any length of time._

 _"She's just been throwing a tantrum most the day. John and Gordo tried to handle her, but I came home early when John called to say that Mae was crying so much that she was getting sick." Scott said, knowing that this had to be putting a damper on Alan's supposedly fun weekend. "Sorry Gordo called, I've got it under control now."_

 _"No, I don't mind. What have you tried to get her to mind you?" Alan inquired. Scott could hear Alan's heavy footsteps, remembering his one pet-peeve with his brother was stomping feet, while unintentional._

 _"I've put her on time-out up in her bedroom. I told her she was going to sit on her bed and stay in her bedroom until I come back up to get her." Scott said with a deep sigh. He hated punishing his baby sister, but sometimes her behavior called for it, the same as his little brother. "Before time out, I tried getting her to stand with her nose in the corner…that resulted in a show of waterworks and Mae throwing herself on the floor."_

 _Alan snorted at that. He was the one who told Scott that Mae could be very dramatic, and he'd advised that while it'd be hard to ignore when she was throwing a tantrum, it was best to ignore her. Alan had four years of perfecting this style he'd suggested to Scott and he knew from experience that Mae fed off attention._

 _"Well, you have my approval. Do you need me to talk to her about her behavior?" Alan asked, knowing Mae might mind Scott, John and Gordon better if told to do so by Alan._

 _"No, she needs to learn to obey me when I issue her an order and she won't mind me if you're the only one she listens to. No offense." Scott said as he walked to the stairs and sat on one of the steps._

 _"None taken." Alan said before he got away from the noise in the living room at his grandma's house. Scott heard the tell-tale creak of the porch door swinging shut, before the rattle of chains as Alan sat on their grandmother's porch swing outside. "So, how's everything been, truthfully?"_

 _"It's been good. Mae misses you, but then I think I'd be worried if she didn't." Scott said, smiling at Alan's concern. He never saw Alan as big brother material, but then he figured that with as often as their parents fought after Alan was conceived that their mom would do everything in her power to never get pregnant again. Imagine his surprise when he learned he had a baby sister._

 _"Liar' she's been a terror hasn't she?" Alan asked with a smirk in his voice._

 _"No, but then she has the potential to be a terror even with you." Scott replied, knowing his brother was trying to get him to speak out of turn about their baby sister. "I think she's crabby because she fought me when I said it was bed time last night."_

 _"Ah, so she has been a terror." Alan said. Scott knew it wasn't a question, but a statement._

 _"She wanted to stay up with John and Gordo last night, but I made her go to bed. I think she snuck back downstairs though, or that's what John said." Scott said, knowing his two younger brothers hadn't yet mastered saying no to the puppy eyes that she'd gotten from Alan._

 _"Oh, that girl." Alan replied with a roll of his eyes._

 _"Tell me about it. I don't know how you've put up with her all these years." Scott said playfully._

 _"Eh, you get used to it. I had to learn how to braid her hair and that helped me perfect my lanyard tying skills. You'd be surprised what I know how to do with long hair when left to my own devices." Alan replied softly, smiling at the memory of when he'd asked his mom to teach him how to braid hair after Brandon had braided Mae's hair wrong and it left her hair gnarled and tangled._

 _"So, changing the subject. How's the visit going with grandma?" Scott inquired, detecting when Alan attempted to cover up a yawn._

 _"It's going well." Alan said around a yawn, before yawning with a follow-up yawn. "Sorry."_

 _"Why are you so tired, it's not that late." Scott said, knowing it was nowhere close to being Alan's bedtime._

 _"I was up late last night." Alan replied, fighting another yawn that was building up and fighting to break free._

 _"Couldn't sleep?" Scott asked, concerned for Alan's seemingly troubled sleep habits._

 _"No, Grandma's friend Mr. Carson called to ask grandma for some assistance. One of his mares was foaling and she was having difficulty and he asked for grandma's help. She took me and Virgil along." Alan said as he recalled the memory of helping Virgil break the sac encasing the foal immediately following birth. He'd been grossed out at first, but then had to agree with Virgil that it was natural and in fact a beautiful experience._

 _"What'd you think? Pass out or get squeamish?" Scott asked, disbelieving that Alan who wasn't keen on blood normally could be so relaxed._

 _"I stayed with Daisy the entire time she labored and was there when her foal was born. It was amazing." Alan said, remembering the moment he thought his heart had stopped in his chest after seeing the foal when it'd stood for the first time. Alan had in fact learned not long after going to breakfast with grandma that the foal was another filly. Mr. Carson called to let their grandma know that he'd allow Alan the opportunity to name the filly if he so desired._

 _"What're you going to name the filly? Have you decided yet?" Scott asked, feeling happy that Alan had been so fascinated by the idea of being present for a mare's foaling._

 _"I was uh, gonna name her after mom. Or mom's middle name. What do you think?" Alan asked shyly._

 _Scott rolled the name around in his head, speaking it quietly as he let the name fall from his tongue before he nodded to himself. "I think Katherine is a great name. You can call her Katie for short when you go to visit."_

 _"That's what I was thinking." Alan replied with a smile adorning his face. "Listen Scott, Dad and Virgil were running their mouths about the recording of my play that Virgil brought along without my knowledge and grandma wants to watch it. Can I let you go for now and we talk again a little later?"_

 _"Sure kiddo. See you tomorrow. Enjoy your visit with grandma. Send her mine, John, Gordo and Mae's love."_

 _"Will do. Bye." Alan said before he hung up._

Scott took a minute for himself to think back over his conversation with Alan before he smiled to himself. As much as he didn't want to talk to Alan because of a secret fear that his youngest brother would reprimand him for his punishment methods, it made sense and absolved his worries that he was going to screw up. If Alan commended him for his way of dealing with Mae's tantrums, then he felt at ease. He glanced at his watch, realizing that his little chat with Alan ate up the time Scott allotted Mae's timeout be. He returned Gordon's cell phone before going up the stairs to try talking with Mae after she'd had time to cool down.

Knocking gently, Scott opened the door and entered Mae's room when she granted permission. Approaching the toddler, Scott sat on Mae's bed where he'd left her. Mae was sitting with her knees pulled to her chest, picking at the fabric which was pilling in places.

"Mae, do you know why I put you in timeout?" Scott asked when the toddler wouldn't look at him. The toddler nodded silently. "Care to explain?"

"You put me in timeout 'cause I was being a bad girl." Mae said, simply with a small sniffle.

"Can you tell me how you were being a bad girl?" Scott asked in hopes that she'd explain further and would prove to Scott that she learned her lesson.

"I kept screaming and crying, told you I hated you and kicked John in the knee." Mae said, looking up at Scott with her bottom lip out on display and brown eyes shining with unshed tears.

"Mm-hmm, and what do you have to say for yourself?" Scott inquired, glancing at his baby sister with a raised eyebrow. He personally didn't know how his mom did it. She had to have had a cape or something else that signified her as supermom or something. He didn't think being a parent was for him, not after assuming the responsibility of his youngest brother and baby sister. Thankfully Mae was potty-trained and past her teething and terrible two's. But Scott knew he'd still have a tough road ahead of him with raising Mae well past her teens as well as making sure that Alan stayed out of trouble.

"I'm sorry Scott, I don't hate you. And I'm sorry I kicked John in the knee." Mae said, crawling forward and hugging Scott when he nodded and opened his arms to hug Mae and pick her up off the bed.

"Apology accepted sweetie, but we need to talk about how it hurts my feelings when you say you hate me, or how it hurts Alan's feelings when you say the things you said. He's my brother too and I don't approve of you saying anything bad about Alan. He went to visit grandma and I won't tolerate you saying you wish he'd died too. Do you understand me? Do you know how sad I'd be and how upset you'd be if Alan had gone away like mom and your daddy did?" Scott asked, truly bothered that during the pinnacle of Mae's tantrum, the toddler had vehemently yelled that she wished Alan had died too which had been the straw that broke the camel's back for Scott. He didn't like the idea of his youngest brother or any of his siblings for that matter being wished ill-will. And a toddler's tantrum didn't excuse her behavior. "Now we're going to go downstairs, and I want you to apologize to both John and Gordon. For the things you said, the way you acted and for kicking John in the knee. Understand?"

"Yes." Mae whispered before she was put down on the floor by Scott and led by hand downstairs where she went to apologize to her other two brothers.

Scott watched from the doorway as Mae got a hug from Gordon and John as they accepted her apology.

… … … … … … … … … … …

Alan covered his eyes as a red-hot blush engulfed the entirety of his face during the musical number ' _Like Father, Like Son'_ from the Aida school play he'd taken part in. His dad, grandma and Virgil were roaring with laughter at Alan's brazen snub during the song to his co-star that was portraying his father.

"How did you keep a straight face when you sang that line? Evil's a distinctive smell? I love it!" Virgil asked between barely contained chortles at Alan's expense.

"Lots of practice." Alan groaned behind his hands. He peeked out from behind his hands for a moment to explain when Virgil made a noise of confusion. "I'll explain later."

After the scene was over, Alan stood hurriedly claiming to need to use the bathroom before he exited the living room where his grandma, dad and brother continued watching the recording. Instead of going to the bathroom as he claimed, Alan stepped out onto the porch and proceeded to rest his elbows on the porch railing, hanging his head with a pained sigh.

It's not that he despised watching the play's recording, but it was hard for him to do knowing that it was originally meant as a punishment for his poorly maintained grades. He'd promised his mom and stepdad that he'd work harder at his classes and while he was doing so now, it was hard to stomach the notion that he'd grown to love the drama kids he'd starred with. At first he'd laughed at it, but spending time with them all for several months – mocking Brandon when he spent time with his friends. It was hard to accept that he'd become one of the 'drama nerds' that his friends made fun of.

"Hey kiddo, grandma was wondering if you fell in?" Virgil asked as he stepped onto the porch to join his brother. "I hate to tell you this, but this isn't the bathroom."

"I know it's not, I just needed to catch my breath." Alan replied softly, hearing the lines being recited by him to his costars echoing from the living room. It seemed like another lifetime entirely.

"Is this because I brought the disc to show your performance to grandma?" Virgil asked, now questioning whether it was smart to have brought the disc without Alan's permission. He personally wished he could have seen Alan at practice too. It'd have been a real treat for Virgil to have been more involved. Now he was rethinking his previous distaste for Brandon and carried a bit of guilt over refusing to form a relationship with his late stepdad like Alan had. It was obvious that Alan missed Brandon as much as he missed their mother. "Is this about Brandon casting you as the male lead for the play?"

Alan nodded wordlessly, casting his gaze across the lawn. In the distance was the treehouse that their grandfather helped Scott and John build prior to his death when Gordon was a baby. "I couldn't help but to worry that I was going to disappoint Brandon if I screwed up the play and I was terrified of Mom's reaction when she found out I was…made to take part in the play as punishment for failing another test."

"Can I ask why you were afraid of mom's reaction?" Virgil asked.

"When Mae was two-ish, I started hanging out with a bad crowd. We caused trouble all over town and it was causing trouble for mom and Brandon. I was thirteen or fourteen, anyway we went out to one of the abandoned lumber yards and were playing there like it was our personal playground. One of the boys, slipped and fell in a pit that had been covered with a rotten sheet of plywood. The plywood wasn't sturdy, and he got hurt. We panicked and ran to get help and the cops brought me home. Mom was angry that I'd been playing in the abandoned lumber yard, I'd been warned multiple times and disobeyed mom…again. She said one more mistake and she'd have no choice but to send me away to military school. I was terrified that when she found out about the play that she'd wash her hands of me and send me to military school." Alan explained before letting out an explosive breathe. "Watching my performance just brought back the worry and fear that mom would be disappointed in me."

"You know, Scott was telling me a while back that he had a feeling that mom knew about the play. He was going through some of mom's papers in one of her file folders and thought he'd stumbled on her journal. He said he'd seen where mom wrote that she was excited about one of your upcoming performances." Virgil said, smiling sadly at the look on Alan's face before he looked away hurriedly. The tell-tale sniffle told Virgil why Alan averted his gaze.

"Mom didn't really attend any of the gigs me and my—friends attend. There's no way she'd have gone to any of those." Alan whispered before sniffling loudly and running an open palm over his face to get rid of any residual tears that may have fallen.

"Mom didn't know you were in a band?" Virgil asked as he leaned over beside Alan to look at his face. He was worried at Alan's silence, but figured being understanding would get him to talk faster.

"No, she knew I was in a band. She said it was better I get involved in something constructive, instead of hanging out with that bad crowd. But she worried that I'd be embarrassed if she or Brandon made an appearance to one of my gigs, so they stayed away." Alan said before giving a wet chuckle. "Scott's right, mom must have known about the performance. But that just makes me feel worse."

"Why does that make you feel worse?" Virgil asked, putting a gentle hand on Alan's back and rubbing between his shoulder blades. "Huh? Why does that make you feel worse?"

"Because I didn't want her to know. I just said I was terrified that she'd send me to military school because she was disappointed in me and here…she was excited about the performance." Alan replied, voice breaking a little. "I'm going back in."

Virgil was left alone on the porch when Alan slipped in through the door, making his way in to the bathroom just to the right of the living room. Following his brother's lead, Virgil made his way back into the old farmhouse and reclaiming his previously vacated seat before Alan reentered the darkened room. The middle brother could tell with a quick glance at his little brother that Alan must have splashed water in his face, his bangs were plastered to his forehead.

Their grandmother was dabbing at her eyes, reaching across Virgil to hug Alan after watching Alan perform his song, _'Radames Letter'_ ,

"You are such a fabulous singer baby, I can't wait until your next performance if that's what you decide to continue." Ruth said before delivering a kiss to Alan's brow.

Alan smiled at his grandma, accepting her accolades on his performance before returning his attention to the screen. It was interesting watching the performance from another angle, the cast hadn't been permitted to step out from behind the scenes. At the time, Alan hadn't been interested in watching his performance, being too embarrassed by simply listening to his own singing voice.

When the scene came up that Alan and Vanessa portraying their characters on stage where thrown into a tomb as punishment for treason, Alan spied his older brother and grandmother both dabbing at their eyes. He glanced at his father and caught him staring at him. He quickly averted his own gaze back to the screen, watching himself and Vanessa kiss one last time before the stage fell into darkness. When the curtain call occurred a few moments later, Alan was jarred from his thoughts when his grandma blew her nose loudly.

"That was such a beautiful performance." Grandma said, accepting the box of tissues that Jeff held out and taking a few to dab at her eyes once more. Virgil stood and went to retrieve the disc from the player.

"John made a spare disc for you grandma, you can keep this copy." Virgil said, extending his hand and handing his grandmother the disc sleeve.

"Thank you honey." Grandma said before standing and hugging him and Alan. She looked at her youngest grandchild and kissed him on the cheek. "My dear, you underestimate your abilities. You are a very talented performer and if you continue on with the drama group at your school, I want to know dates so I can attend."

"Yes, grandma." Alan said, accepting another kiss on his cheek from his grandmother.

"My goodness, is that really the time?" Jeff asked, shocked as he glanced at his watch. "We'd best be getting on to bed. We've got an early morning."

"Do you really have to go?" Grandma inquired, looking more than a little disappointed.

"I'm afraid so mom, Alan has school first thing Monday morning." Jeff said referencing the following morning. They'd need to return so Alan could complete any homework he may not have finished over their visit.

"Oh. Well, you all best get on. Goodnight loves." Grandma said before she gave each of her boys a hug and kiss on their foreheads.


End file.
